You've just acquired a portal gun. What do you do with it?

I've done it before, it's not that great and doesn't really feel good at all, just shameful and degenerate. Feeling cum on my face was kinda hot, though, but it's still not that great. The only thing that isn't degenerate about it that I somewhat liked was a sort of feeling of accomplishment, because I did something really difficult that most people can only joke about doing.

try and sell it to the finland government for citizenship and and 1 millions a year till death

>Build an airlocked vacuum chamber large enough for a person and several pallets of raw materials.
>Put portal inside chamber.
>Put other portal on moon.
Moon base, bitches.

>ITT: people shooting the moon.
I'd figure out how quickly the portal shots travels and try shooting other planets.

Shoot Venus.
Shoot bottom of ocean at sufficient depth.
Terraform Venus.

Portals travel at light speed

>Shoot bottom of ocean at sufficient depth.
You'd need to be down below 1km for the pressure difference to cause water to flow to Venus. Not impossible, or even especially difficult, but nontrivial to accomplish.

>terraforms venus
>turns earth into a dead planet

can you simply travel out to deep sea or do you actually have to be at the ocean floor to open it

No, they don't.

Even shooting across a room has a noticeable delay.

Yeah. What's the downside of this plan?

>find tight spot
>portal on either side
>fuck myself up the butt

shoot it randomly into the universe just to see what it lands on

Not many ways to utilize a portal gun, as it only works on moon rock coated surfaces. The one thing to do with it would be to establish a permanent link from Earth directly to the Moon and kicking people that I don't like into outer space while shouting at them "This is a dead meme!" whenever I feel like it.

Use ceiling-floor trick to power my house.

You don't have to get rid of that much water.
Also pouring water onto Venus isn't even close to a complete terraforming.

Steal anything that's not nailed down.

It will literally take hundreds of billions of years for it to hit anything, even at light speed.

Can't shoot portals through water, unfortunately.

You'd not only need to be on the ocean floor, you'd need to build a structure there to pump out the water to give you a portal-accepting surface.

THOUGH, you could also shoot a portal onto a concrete block or metal plate or whatever, cruise out to the marianas trench, and push it overboard since portals on moving objects was canon as of Portal 2.

You could also set up a turbopump that was driven by Venus's pressure to pump water through the portal, but that would have some big pollution and corrosion problems.

OTOH, if you planned for it you could become a major world supplier of sulphuric acid.

>Shoot bottom of ocean at sufficient depth.
COMBINE DETECTED
FUCK YOU ALIEN SCUM

At the end of Portal 2, you shoot the moon. The portal takes 2.5 seconds to reach the moon and for the light that indicates that it has reached the moon to travel back, which just so happens to be exactly how long it takes for light to go to the moon and back.

>get the gun but not the long fall boots

No tricks for me, I'll use it to make money maybe

Where did you get the portal gun?

Does the particular portal gun in the OP magically works on any surface? Otherwise its pretty shit

Portal myself to a poppy field and overdose

>orange portal on the roof
>blue portal on the ground
>build a water wheel between them
>dump some water down the blue portal
Infinite free energy.

Attached: waterwheel.jpg (641x361, 57K)

>shoot ceiling
>shoot floor at my feet
>???

Fire one into the ocean, and the other into the sun.

Attached: devilish.jpg (396x482, 54K)

Portal between PC desk and fridge.

nothing cause i don't have any moon rocks to paint walls with

Attached: 1522328238306.png (758x631, 60K)

This, Every other answer is dumb or just plain impractical

I've never played Portal, so I don't know how the gun works. Because of that, I'd sell it on eBay as a replica for, let's say, around $9500.

Shoot the moon, then shoot the moonrocks at NASA and get WOKE to the truth when the portal doesn't work.

>Have 2 houses or property hundreds of miles apart
>Have a secret room in each place
>put portals in each
>Have 2 completely different lives, along with a different name and occupation and when one goes wrong, swap out and start over in a new one.
>profit???
I'd probably start off with one portal where I live now, and another in some fun place like California, or Europe.

Attached: 1451454387314.jpg (240x239, 16K)

portal to the planet amazonia and get snu snued to death.

what a way to die, a hundred years from now some nasa niggas will find your body and be scared shitless.

this, but wait for night before shooting the ocean that way u can cover the sun in water while it is dark.

also our atmosphere would get the big succ and equalize with the moons

Sent from my iPhone

Attached: 1550665143069.gif (149x181, 836K)

i laugh at this joke thanks user

No such thing, so obviously our gun draws from some sort of energy source (now if only it could be discharged all in 1 moment...)

Attached: IMG_0001.jpg (474x458, 35K)

Theft. Lots of theft.

Sell it, and live the rest of my life a comfy drug using neet.

Attached: 1494377877131.jpg (476x353, 25K)

he probably bent bent over and did the whole plastic man thing

>shoot sun
>shoot mercury
>baffle scientists as to how a small planet could have been engulfed in flames out of seemingly nowhere
>then shoot venus
>people get really scared, everywhere signs of doomsday start popping up
>few weeks before the latest mars probe arrives with the first settlers, shoot mars
>scientists cant explain shit, doomsayers on every corner
>shoot the moon
>chaos everywhere, everyone believes the earth is next and start live their days as if theyre their last ones
>close the portals
>dont do anything
>watch humanity lose thousands of years of progress in mere weeks

Attached: 16b.gif (425x481, 1.51M)

I would suck my own cock. What else would I do?

The sun is less dense than air, the portal shot would pass through it.

This is genius, no shit
Best option

I do nothing with it

how the hell would you be that precise? what if you miss? it'll just go flying off into the nothingness of space, who knows what itll hit

it gets progressively denser since it needs to do the whole fusion shit

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Solar_core
>has a density of 150 g/cm^3

He was just joking. I take jokes too seriously too sometimes, though, so it's ok.
Don't need one. I'm flexible and have a large peepee.

Open a portal at sea level
Open a portal on top of a mountain
examine the effects differences in atmospheric pressure have on portal travel. By pushing people through the portal to see if they die of decompression sickness.

Use it to suck my own dick, obviously.

How would you even get to the sun or any of the planets, fool?

Create a portal to space then go there and die.

Portal to Everest. Rearrange the bodies and other landmarks to fuck with the sherpas.

I would use it to sneak my way into a plane so I could go visit my grandma. She's 97 and dying and I can't afford a plane ticket.

I bet you thought this post would make you look like an upstanding citizen. A real, virtuous, innocent fella, right? Wrong. All it did was make you look like a pansy who has to constantly virtue signal.

use it to kill myself

discord
=|+|=|328|=|+|=
.gg/Bsyufq6

Attached: 18.jpg (540x540, 69K)

>Put portal on basement ceiling, above sex dungeon.
>Drive around looking for my type.
>Shoot portal under them.
>Close both portals.
>Drive home.
>Enjoy new pet!
>Repeat as needed.
Probably be helpful for disposing of the pets when they became unusable, too.

in reality it wouldnt be gravity below the portal

discord
=|+|=|450|=|+|=
.gg/Bsyufq6

Attached: 10.jpg (464x463, 68K)

Joining this server

Attached: AK_47_2.jpg (960x914, 84K)

discord/
=|+|=|590|=|+|=
.gg/Bsyufq6

Attached: 20.png (360x500, 125K)

There are no moon rocks on the sun [citation needed].

Sell it to some idiot faggot because you can do jack fucking shit without a surface

>shoot entry portal in my bedroom closet
>fly to another country
>shoot exit portal in a hotel utility closet
>can go there any time i want after that