Suffering Thread

What's making you suffer the most right now?

Share your pain with your fellow bot.

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that I'm ugly, I've recently realized I am a 2 or 3/10. I've also recently realized that 'love' is 2/3 looks and 1/3 personality which means a pretty girl will never love me no matter what. more or less I am totally fucked since I can never have the one thing I desire the most (a pretty, nice girl to have mutual love with).

Im too sad and anxious so I dont have any friends and cant make/keep any. Among other things, my mind is fucked. Although im actually really /comfy/ but not happy

Being a waggie

I have given up and decided to live the neet life. My sister started to realize and she's trying to help. I wish she didn't.

I'm into a abusive relationship, and cannot leave it no matter what I do.

im constipated as shit it hurts pretty bad desu

Years of isolation and boredom taking it's toll

I wish I was more emotional, the way I am right now only leads to stagnation. I should be feeling a lot more than and it bothers me that I'm not.

The ever recurring social rejection and crippling loneliness

These last few months I've also been experiencing bitterness-induced bouts of rage. My life is slowly coming apart at the seams and it feels like it's almost time to leave.

My bf don't want to go to movies with me, he does not like me?

The pain killers the doctor gave me make me sick so I'm just sitting here in agony with my chest. I can't wait to die.

I left work and my town and moved in with my father to care for him through aggressive chemo and radiation treatments on a 5cm tumour on his tongue a year ago. He almost starved and died. I was so emotionally distressed I never filed for EI, and got rejected for assistance.

He survived and even got his veteran benefits applied and approved for. He's getting healthier, has thousands now bought a house and receives numerous counseling services and doctors and allowances.

I'm now an agoraphobic broke neet who thinks everyone is minutes away from a fatal injury. I can't think for myself anymore. I just clean and clean all day my father's hoards and messes, and can't think anymore about taking care of myself. I can't decide whether I love my fiance anymore. I can't get any help and have been begging for doctors or counselors for half a year now.

I had a mental breakdown last month and stopped leaving room. I stopped cleaning and cooking meals for him. He hovered around my door and screamed at me so much I had a mental break down and barricaded the door and slept under the bed for a week. He told years he was going to drop me off at the hospital. Things are back to normal now only because I am working and cleaning the house again.

I'm so emotional I can't even talk to friends. I've ignored them for months now. I have no one to talk to. I receive no help. I am literally losing my mind and soul.

i hate myself for my incompetence with everything and me being a hyper beta. im the weak organism that deserves to die because of its weakness.

I'm too pathetic, I'm probably the most pathetic person here. Living like this doesn't have any sense, every day hating my existence.

I just hate myself more than anything in this world, and i just cant get over it.

If you're planning on an heroing, you might as well go all out on something and give it one last go before tapping out. Go hardcore gym mode, nofap, take the Jow Forums pill, just start going social places and trying shit. If it doesn't work, hey at least you tried and the rope will always still take you.

Explain?

Tell him you'll suck his dick if he goes with you. 99% chance that will work.

Sounds like you need to get out of that house as soon as possible. You're in an abusive situation. Other than that god damn I don't know how to fix this

We're all lonely broken betas here m8. You're among friends

I'm never going to be healthy physically or mentally.

Arthritis,everything hurts all the time and im really ugly and dumb :(

Yeah but that I can only have this website to express my feelings and just say how pathetic I am is even more pathetic.

I only say one thing. The brain is the most shitty organ that there is. Your brain is shaped during your childhood and adolescence with the environment and type of parents, etc. where you live. So you can't change that. Then other thing is that you can be more or less normal until some things happen to you and you lose control over your own mind and that's game over. What a shitty organ.

Imagining my only friend leaving me.

Idk, a lot of issues compounded really.

And why do you think he left you?

My only friend is delusional, retarded and he ghosted me for no reason. I saw it coming, though. It was one-sided, love-hate bullshit. We never had much empathy for each other in part because we were just on different levels intellectually and in terms of life experience. What made me worried was trivial to him, and what worried him was trivial to me. I chose it over my other lukewarm friendships where we never shared anything real because he was trying to understand me on some level that I knew would give me the insight to come back to my abandoned self, I was obsessed with healing him so he would help heal me. He was just so fucking volatile though. I gave up a lot of information so he would trust me, after whining that all women are untrustworthy, and he ghosted me anyway. I feel like there's no-one I can turn to for protection or who would listen to my feelings. He was my first experience with a trusted male "protective" figure.

>which means a pretty girl will never love me
another typical shallow robot. enjoy being alone forever.

i don't want to suffer or give in to suffering because it's a rabbit hole that leads nowhere and i want to be strong

i feel horrible painful numbness that i can't control and i feel very unhappy and it stops me from getting anything done steals all my energy my laugh my hope but i am learning to stay mindful and stopping myself from doing anything stupid or negative to hurt myself, so i am getting better at dealing with it

but it never gets easy dealing with the suffering, this vacant emptiness that permeates my skull feels like all of the feeling, all of the joy, all of the life has been zapped and stolen away, my whole life is fucking nothing man, all of my family mean nothing to me and if i ever get out of here i'm cutting them out forever, i only know and interact with people on the internet that's it

who the fuck am i, nothing i've experienced adds up into an identity or person, it's as if i don't exist in my own mind, because i don't do normal people shit i just spend all my time on the internet 24/7 observing like some kind of machine

there is nothing outside of the internet for someone like me

whats making me suffer is the internet

there is nothing else for me because it requires prerequisites to get off the internet for me where i live, because outside there is nothing but vices under the guise of socialization and hobbies and none of it brings me any happiness, it's more of the same, distractions and numbness

alcohol, drugs, partying, sex, i want none of it

i want to go meditate in a forest somewhere and spend many months growing myself and getting fresh air, but there is no fresh air here

it's stagnant here

i need to get out of here

but i can't

so i'm doing my best to stay on top of myself even though it seems meaningless

make sure i'm of sound mind if there is ever a chance, even the tiniest sliver of hope that i can escape this place and find a better place where i can finally be at peace, i want to be ready

Always wanting to be with people more than they want to be with me. That gets me pretty sad at times..

Sekiro is so hard it's actually killing me.

Spear-guys are too OP

She hasn't left me. I just worry that she'll realise that her time would be better spent by doing literally anything else, and forgot about me.

My crush doesn't want any kind of relationship with anyone and she doesn't even know that I have feels towards her

That ive been in a relationship that has slowly become devoid of attraction and full of stress over the course of 10 years due to lies, betrayal and each others changing tastes. I love her enough because leaving may kill her, but my life has been in stasis for at least 10 years. Im miserable from the lack of change. And I feel like cheating just to break the cycle. It sucks. Every fight we have, I try to push it so I can have a reason to leave on her terms. But shes done so much for me. I wish she'd just hate me so it didnt hurt so much.

I work in a shitty restaurant and I cannot find another job no matter how hard I try.

I keep getting ghosted... and it sucks. I always get my hopes up. Goddamnit, my heart. I can't deal with this, it hurts... it makes me feel like shit. I don't even understand what I'm doing wrong. I feel like a dog who's left by the side of the road with no explanation.

I'd give a lot for a hug.

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I've been browsing Grindr but can't find a trap just twinks to fuck

I would hug you if I could.

Sounds cliche as fuck but I hate myself to the extent that I can't in my wildest dreams imagine someone else actually taking a liking to me, even just as a friend, what do?

Man I'm the same, I swear to god keep at it man I am almost 100% sure everything will get better soon. Godspeed

My only friend unfriended and blocked me on discord. The pain of losing my only friend is the first thing to make me feel any emotion in over a year. On top of that, I suspect that he may have killed himself.

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Boring and predictablepilled

Fucking ask him you dumb cretin

I feel socially unaccepted as a person, people always say i'm weird or creepy if i joke with some friends, EX: i will be sitting next to my friend and he will be joking with another one of his friends by making fun of each other, so i say that my friends friend has a worse whatever he insulted him of and then they hate me for some shit reason

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my mental illnesses and overbite chinlet

i gashed my nut shaving so my girlfriend would give me some blow. now I'm not getting any blow and i about castrated myself. my nut won't stop bleeding. help

Had a moment of ultra-awareness and realized my whole existence's benefit is to be laughed at. I am no one's first choice in anything. I am nothing's top anything, and I never will be. I possess no good qualities like intelligence, but I have many flaws like ugliness. By myself I am worthless, but it would have been alright if there was someone out there who would see me as a human being, who would appreciate my struggle despite its futility. But my mother is absent, my father only cares about himself, and my brother went off to live his successful normie life in peace from his pathetic family. My "friends" only use me as a laughingstock. They once made me drink so much alchohol I almost died on a hospital, but thinking it was finally over made me feel peaceful, the only thing making me resentful being the fact that the sum of all my life's actions and efforts and all the lies I was told about meaning and philosophy culminating in my only companion at my most desperate hour being an old demented lady shitting herself and a jaded nurse.

I simply sit here trying to figure out what my next distraction should be as I procrastinate on tasks that I must do but that would ultimately change nothing about my fate, and writing this was a fairly good one.

go to a hospital please user

youtube.com/watch?v=42fzkIaHaW4
I liked my lesbian friend. I've gotten over her for the most part, but there is still a dull pain from time to time.

Nothing really, but I had the stupid idea to check my onetis social media after forgetting about her for 2 years it reminded me of how perfect she was and how I would never have her.

so what's stopping you from studying or practicing something until you master it in a couple of months?

Stop being lazy or start doing drugs to combat that crippling depression of yours. Prescribed or not prescribed. Your'e welcome for the advice. Good luck doomer

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People never seemed to like me enough to want to talk to me. No one dislikes me openly, it's like people never cared enough about me. And it's not like I'm a beta bitch. I'm a very assertive and confident person. I'm just retarded emotionally. Maybe it's autism.

my last year in the country i love, and im moving to shithole south africa where they kill whites. stopped paying attention in school because it doesn't even matter anymore

Ayyy user. Dropped out of school. 19 no job, no close friends, no dreams and no future. I will propably spend my last days in some farm doing slave work and drinking my brains to crisp. Why are u sad user? I can cheer u up. At least ur not in my shoes. Btw im drinking right now. Cheap brandy but still. It feels better

my stomach hurts and i feel a bit sick, but that is pretty normal for me. i probably have some undiagnosed intestinal issues, the pain has gotten more frequent and severe over the last 7-8yrs, to the point that i am almost constantly in pain. but i am never gonna go to a doctor.

It is so exhausting setting boundaries and letting people know how you honestly feel. It's worth it though but still

Maybe user. But i belive everyone is they're own. Even if u are retarded or not. It's still u user. Try changing things one for one. Slowly but very precise. Prove others ur better than them. There is a reason why u were sperm nr. 1.

on a scale from 1/10 how often do you vocalize how you feel? With that perspective you just wrote I'm getting sort of Asuka vibfes were you're just bitchy all the time and very quick to pull back. Maybe not like in faggoty type of way but in your own manner. You do have insecurities after all

I am 23 years old. I'm a neet. I have a meme degree. I am alone. I have a few friends and they all live on their own and have long term partners and one even just put a down payment on a house.

It's all about balance and I constantly struggle with that. I personally recommend using drugs to try and ease yourself from being overly virtuous or whatever. It seems that a lot of people these days prefer to me rather crude these days. I used to have this mindset for a very long time ago. Hopefully you too can find a way to escape from yourself

How do your few friends regard you?

Spinal degeneration, other joint problems. Was getting it diagnosed when I lost my insurance.

No relevant job for over a year. Only temp work which was all physical labor. Over 100+ application sent out to relevant jobs, and I have a year experience.

Almost 29, BS Electrical Engineering, khhv. I literally have no reason to be alive and cry sometimes after waking up or before going to sleep.

Trust me, becoming 's ascetic is a common fantasy for people like me, and I've even gone as far as to entertain at it for quite a while, but there's a time when you have to realize your own limits. Talent doesn't just determine the rate at which you can progress at something, but also how far you can progress. All pursuits are of course talent-weighted, some moreso than others generally speaking. In any case I've reached my limit in my pursuit, it's not that high, but even then it didn't take just a couple of months to reach even with several hours of practice day (though in my fantasies I would entertain practicing 16-18 hours a day in complete zen. Of course that's borderline psychotic)

In any case, the pursuit occupied my thoughts but it didn't give me magical meaning, satisfaction, or even much fun. It was nice in the beginning, but as I approached my limit and saw how trivial others made me seem, it broke me so hard that it took me a couple of years just to muster up the will to put in effort into the basic necessities. Needless to say I don't feel like going down that road again since it's pointless.

As for drugs, they're worthless on me. I've tried many but drugs can't help depression caused by natural circumstances. If I had a good lfie I would not be depressed, unlike many people on this board who simply have a chemical imbalance.

That's fine user don't dwell in negativity because others are doing better than you. Be proud that you accomplished something and that you have friends around you. With their support and your desire to improve I think you can do things. However these thoughts can easily spiral out of control and be very self sabotaging

I'm a suffering schizophrenic alcoholic and most cunts want me dead, I have no one and the friend I do have I think he's messing with my head. Mom wants to put me in hospital tomorrow but I'd rather kill myself than go back to a ward, I'm sick of seeing people complain about pathetic shit. If you have real problems sure but going on about meme depression is annoying as fuck

not having any money user kun

not having a cute shiro chan gf

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Not working or studying, I feel like the most useless human being on the world

Gf isn't the main thing i would strive for. I would strive for hapyness and fullfillment. Unfortunatly. I cannot. Butnu still have a slight chance maybe. Go for it.

Likely because of your tone of voice and composure. We robots come across as more serious because of our neutral expressions. You either have to work around that, or force yourself to be more expressive to be able to say things like that.

One of them I'm really not very close to anymore. Not sure what he thinks of me. The other two like me quite a bit I guess. We're pretty close.

i dunno sunny, but its gonna fucking kill me one day

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a gf would give me fulfillment

He's a dumb phoneposting normie, don't reply.

thanks for the reply
>on a scale from 1/10 how often do you vocalize how you feel?
Well I try to do it as often as I can but that's not how I process information so whenever I do talk about how I feel it's always superficial or I just feel like a fraud. I wouldn't consider myself bitchy but maybe others do.

She won't reply and I don't understand why.

You should try to appreciate them, user. A lot of us here are much like you, but we don't have any friends.

Then go for it. Make urself more atractive, shave, wash and be more alpha, not realy.. Just enough to spark interest

I definitely do. Without them I'd feel a lot more alone. It just sucks to see them move on with their lives and have long term partners and be more adult while I'm alone and live with my damn mom.

Cant get horny
Nothing's fun so I just lie in bed all day and night thinking
Never been chill with someone

I want to pee, lampp beams are too bright and I want to sleep.
All these problems are same to yours.

discord/
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what is the point of this thread? Is it for those who feel entitled to the big 3 normalman traits?
>intimacy
>identity
>dignity
is it for those who want to exchange their tears for tokens to each? Why do you hate suffering so much?

well, i'll tell you what pains me. But first some explaining.
my plight does not come from some given instance like a traumatic event or even a series of instances. Yes they bother me but they are all nothing compared to the uncompromising condition i was born with. That condition being the 'curse' of acute consciousness. I have none of the 3 normalman traits. I see no love in carnal desires. I see identity as an illusion and i have no dignity because i have no means of keeping it and no matter how hard i try to convince myself, i see no justice in violence and in turn can't feel entitlement to dignity because can feel no right to vengeance. Which brings me to my next point. I am a retort made man. I do not choose the only means of attaining a good life through the 3 normalman traits because i see no free will in doing so. Yet that implies that i want to assert some sort of identity for myself. And there is where my main plight lies. In that abominable half despair half belief state where nothing can get done. No conclusions can be made, nothing can give but theres always more to be taken because being this aware, having this level of consciousness simply goes against what mother nature intended us humans to be like.

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that's a lot of words for saying you're a little bitch

hello, fellow sufferer.

I study all day everyday and do nothing else, but somehow still managed to do shit on SAT. Have no friends and just got rejected from an internship.

solaires death

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yes. But i had to explain why. You brought me to my next point: The normalman's reaction.

when the normalman is confronted. Or lets say stumbles upon his antithesis- that is the man of acute consciousness the most vile and savage exchanges are initiated. The man of acute consciousness. With all of his extra consciousness truly thinks of himself as a mouse. The normal man in the face of the mouses consciousness mocks it. Laughing at it until his healthy sides ache. But mousey will dismiss that with the wave of his paw. And retern to it's hole where it will fester. Resentful to his assailant all whilst knowing that no matter what he does. he will suffer 100x more than his assailant ever will. More than he can hope to inflict .But there, in the abominable half despair half belief i mentioned lies the most refined pleasure. It is so subtle that no normalman could ever dream of it. How can a man who enjoys his own suffering respect himself? It is truly the normalmans worst fear. It is as if the normalman lives his life running from this fact. That size is relative. That he is the same species as the mouse man. But that revelation doesn't change a thing. He is still bigger, the mouse is still miserable, yet. prides himself in not being as stupid and concluded as the normal man. Reveling in his own infinite potentiality almost maniacally.

You say you have no identity or dignity but repeatedly use a derogatory tone. A narcissist who uses his suffering as leverage?

i'm in a LDR and idk when my bf is gonna be able to move in w me & when hes in home, he doesnt really talk to me as much as he did before we started dating :( its been making me really sad and insecure that he doesnt really like me idk

have long have you been together with him?

and this raises another question. What is the difference between consciousness and fear and gall and ignorance? The answer is there is none. At least when you get called a bitch you may now see it as somewhat as a compliment to your intelligence. But not really. Your still the one below him. It's smart to be stupid.
maybe. maybe. But not really. I am nothing. why. If i was a narcissist at least then i would be something. my. how annoying should i have been, how rude and manipulative i should have been. As if to shout to the world "I AM A NARCISSIST AND PROUD". And i should've hunted down anyone who ever wronged me, anyone who would slander my narcissistic name. But i'm not a narcissist. I am nothing and probably never will be anything.

We've known each other for years (i think 5-6 years?) before we started dating 6ish months ago.

No, you're definitely a narcissist.

The fact that I can't off myself without potentially pissing off those that still like me.

he's just a schizo

fallow this user's postdismiss me and go about your lives. You've heard too much. go back to your thread and cry about yourself and your problems as if there is an end goal to all of them. Live in that delusion that keeps you going as a person.

>dismiss me and go about your lives.
Then stop spamming shit feggewt

Whenever I go out or nearly whatever I do I'm reminded I am and always will be alone. When I'm on the bus and have to endure a single second of a couple even as much as holding hands I get an unbelievable urge to curb stomp their stupid faces. Even just thinking about the last couple I saw is sending these weird tingles down my spine.
I want to start cutting myself again, I want to jump out of my window, when I drive I keep thinking about how I could end my life with a single flick of the wheel etc.

I'm not even in a bad mood, this whole week was largely pretty good.
And I know nobody ever reads through others' problems in these kinds of threads, but I still go out on a limb in hopes that somebody happens to reply to me.

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Again with that derogatory tone. I'm familiar with zen, buddhism, the tao, whatever bullshit you subscribe to, but you're clearly not the buddha because you bothered replying to me and in such a manner as well, as if your desperate post filled with "I am nothing" over and over again enframed by a complete arrogance wasn't enough.

Like not bad, normal man. You made me use 10% of my power.

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>hahaha le shaggi le reddit maymay

I understand your resentment but cutting screams BPD which I do not appreciate.