Enter intergalactic gym

>enter intergalactic gym
>fucking 16-armed Plorbons from galaxy 3E52F are doing curls again

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0% BF Kreevbax Twinkoids doing 16 joint plyometric pilates raises in the pressurized argon room.

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>Space Marine asks if he can work in my deadlift
>curls it one handed
GET THESE FUCKERS OUT OF HERE

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Kek

Typical

Are space Marines Natty?

They got stimpaks so probably not

Space Thots were mirin me when I asked to turn up the gravity

>Tyranids pit is empty

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>mfw YOHZEHBOTH THE ANNIHILATOR starts doing quark matter lifts within my star system without telling me and wreck my dyson giga-gym
>AGAIN
>doesn't even apologize

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lmao, that's like asking if chimp is natty. Did you know they are strong enough to rip grown mans head off?

>chest and back day
>Intergallactic Sphinxes keep creating time loops
>been stuck in the same superset for 3 eons
>ffs

>space manlets rose to another revolution
It never went galatic, they can't even get out of our solar system and this is the 11th time this happens
When will they learn?

>Zim trying to escape the manlet pit again
Will he ever learn?

>another novice to resistance training gets himself torn apart in gravity squat rack

the janitors cant keep up

>the hermaphrodite Kelbarian girl(male) who had been making eye contact while i did front squats changed into a twink and followed me into the mens locker room
lads...

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Here at PLANET Fitness manlets are welcome and live a healthy long life.
For insurance and safety reasons, we keep them near our trash space-elevator vacum powerd so if they try anything weird we just send them up to orbit amonst the space trash
What do you think our Planet's ring are made of?

>tholians have the heater turned up to 200 degrees celsius again

>manlet Tau keeps blasting his shitty xeno animation music
>ork waaagh turned the power cage into a walker again
>the chaos marine summoned gain goblins to steal my gains

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Quality bread

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>step up to the squat rack
>theres a chimp doing ohp's there
>sigh and go to use the ohp rack across the room
>10 mins later halfway through my 4th set and he comes hurtling toward me, screaming
>rips my goddamn arms off
>lunk alarm goes off
>ask him wtf
>"i was doing supersets you fucking manlet"
>get escorted out of planet fitness because i dropped the weight
>not even allowed some pizza on the way out

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Any of y’all seen the fuckers coming off planet Ragnarok and Pyrrus? 1.5x and 2xTerra gravity. Everyone’s built like a dwarf star. Considering relocating there.

You’ll never catch me dead on your Barny purple planet.

>soi-based lifeform exploded on contact with barbell again
god damn it

>some black robot guy is here doing curls
dude doesn't even have arms and legs why is he here?

Lmao no they do creatine

>The borg walk in
Oh boy, here we go again.

>gonna get a workout with my squadmates
>go to take a space-dump, say I'll meet em in a sec
>the three of em start without me
>find out they got killed by some kid on steroids

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He's looking for those sweet neck gains

>boomers egolifting in the anti-gravity chamber again
Nobody cares what the plates say or how much you scream, faggot

Jamie pull that up

I'm never leaving this board

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>Xeno stuck in the crawl space again
I’m all for the one planet one government shit, but these things need to be put on a leash. Just last week a dude’s chest exploded open on the star harvester machine.

>hairless creature from Boomer XIV using all the available blowdryers to dry its seven genitals again

>Gym Dyel got a titanium spine so he can improperly lift all day

>wtf jews and shitskins getting gassed in the space oven

Based

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>14 armed scoborious is throwing a fit because zhe can't find enough of the same resistance bands again
When will they accept that not all gyms can accommodate them

>tramalfadorians put the gym twink in glass display

>Venutians and Martians arguing over the temperature controls again
>200* one minute, -100* the next

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>tfw despite everything humans are still the tallest alien species because most planets have higher gravity to support life

HOW DOES IT FEEL TO MOG AN ENTIRE UNIVERSE?

kek

Never understood why humans are so fixated on height when they’re so fucking fragile. I mean have you ever grabbed one? They feel soft at first, but then you start to hear things snapping and then they’re fucking dead just like that. It’s embarrassing

>Bloatlord from Saturn takes up half the locker room
>Actually only weighs 90 lbs
Lmao, when will those gas giant cucks learn?

At least we reach the pullup bar, E42-16 scum
T. Guy who got his gf squished by an intergalactic gymthot

Whats a pulliup bar?
We can float...

.t some faggot low gravity alien who thinks his exoskeleton that he needs to survive makes him strong
Oh yeah sure, grab anyone and they'll start dying, hydraulic cheater

And we can tell by your underdeveloped lats

Better question which one of you is going to go ask the space Marine if he's natty?

What are "lats"?
You mean the outdated biological meachanism called "muscle"?
I reallly hope you guys dont still have this

>centuriaBB753 dyel starts to feel me up in the cold fusion sauna
I get that their worlds record deadlift was 135lbs but holy fuck i'm tired of these lanklets.

Are you gonna be the one to crawl in there after him and tell him he can't be in here?

>see the robotwinks
>smack my lips
>octochad enters the dressing room
oh boy

>spend several months trying to attain flying-squirrel mode
>the Pan-Galactum Accords let Chitterblaxian flying squirrel thermids into select planet fitness locations
>get mogged every time I go to the antigrav rack

>the INCELcorps shoot up another alien station
Why they ruin all the fun

Boomoids in the solar sauna are always exposing their gears. I think they find younger males of the Zoomer species pleasing.

>Whenever you break one out they just go "So it goes" and find another one to imprison

>eating p'trogh't berries from Orion-4's moon
>natty
jej pick one (1)

John is definitely not natty

Every time. Worst life forms ever.

>He doesn’t decompress before going into the gravity training room
> he doesn’t decontaminate after moonrock curling
>He fell for the moonshoes meme

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Friggin' Gamma boys always gruntting after each rep like mongoloids

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>Space Nazis are shitposting in the changing room telepathically again
Ffs we got a Jow Forums matrix for a reason nigga

>early morning genestealers don't even bother trying to recruit me into their cult because I'm 5'11

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Nice

>teleporting Blorgon on bench
>looks free
>he teleports on it for a second to tell me he’s still using it
>teleports out again
I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS SHIT

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Fucking bliggers

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kek

>UAC science team is doing teleporter experimentation in the squat rack again

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>space marine asks me to spot it
>i say
>he starts fucking with pretending to struggle, knowing I cant lift the bar
>he filmed it and it ends up on astropathtube
>die in battle later that day

theyre literally infused with a seed from birth

>at galactic fitness
>some asshole turned the gravity WAY up
>group of 6-titted Grolzaks babes see me visibly struggling
>have to change gyms

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>ask the gym droid to spot me
>get electrocuted the second he grabs the barbell
Fucking hell, Galaxy Fitness gets worse and worse every year

>someone placed the barbell on the ejection door button again
FUUUUUUUUCK I JUST DID FARMER WALKS I HAVE NO GRIP STRENGTH LEFT TO HOLD ON

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>notice Stacy from Thothilon X mirin me all workout
>find the courage to make an attempt and losing virginity and ask her out
>she said yes
>holyfuck.zap
>get a cup of iced protoplasma together and go to her place
>bang her in all 7 vaginas and whatever those other holes were
>meet up at the gym next week
>her ass is noticeably bigger
>says the forcefield condom bugged and now she’s pregnant with at least 200 hatchlings
>without saying a word jump inside the gym teleporter
>it brakes me down to atoms, effectively killing me, and creates an almost exact copy on the other end
>don’t have to pay alienmonies because the father me is technically dead
Sucks to be a virgin again tho

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>neuro-zoomer brings his own droid to gym
>it’s just a modified Fuckbot Mk VI that he still probably fucks from time to time
these fucking USBrains I swear to god

>find temporal wormhole
>travel back to when I was 12
>give lifting advice
>come back
>see my body fading into a bloatlord
never mess with time boys

>Later virgins
>Ah fuck

>hanar curls 6 dumbbells at the same time
>"This one is about to perform reps for Enkindlers!"
>leaves slime everywhere and never wipes

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HE'S A BIG STUPID JELLYFISH

The copy you is created in the exact same way as your body that had sex, including the memories of it. So... technically not a virgin.

underrated lol

KEK

>Manlet pit has been noisy lately
>Caught wind of them organizing into teams of four
>Keep hearing the sound of pickaxes
>The other day i heard one shout about someone named Karl

>Manlet pit has been noisy lately
Is this a fancy name for a gym?

>turn up gravity settings while dyel is mid-deadlift

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>Biotic god keeps floating up his 12pl8 OHP on the concentric
I-It’s not fair

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That fucker's not natty, fucking dusters man

>Doom Slayer got into a fight with Ranger again
>Ranger wouldn't let him work in
>Gym burned to the ground and half the city block is vaporized
Thats the third time this month. When is our gym going to invest in more than one gates of hell pull machine? I doubt it's more expensive than rebuilding the whole damn place again.

These cunts are a fraud, ever since they started vaccinating them with superhumaniopetacosis/1000CC

Keep doing that cunt, last guy was caught and was sent to planet Galopzo, you know what they do to your cute little twink ass in there boi

Soon, leaf-lover.

> tfw I have to listen to gaxlezorp music

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laughed audibly

>tesseract chad brings all the plates to the 4th dimension
NOOOOOOO I WAS USING THOSE STOP DIMENSION-MOGGING ME

gold thread

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drg is reddit in videogame form, get out

Goddamn Enzolarians leaving their ton dumbbells all around the gym again. If I don't rerack them gym owner gonna abuse me again with his tentacles.

>Yog-Sototh destroyer of worlds asks to work in
> He just fucking wrist curls my dealift pr

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Underrated.