A ROACH JUST FUCKING BIT ME...

>tfw I'm roachposting in another thread

Anyway, OP, ever consider not being delicious? You probably have sweet, salty sweat that drives roaches crazy. You're a thot and this is entirely your fault.

>that said as someone who owns roaches they don't bite
>their little baby hands get stuck and cut
>but they don't bit
>although you likely weren't dealing with my species of roach

did it bite you, or penetrate you to lay eggs?

Anyways it's dead, based ants already started to eat and move to their nest its still moving corpse

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And yeah, I have an ant nest somewhere hidden in my room, no it's not an ant farm, I mean like an actual ant colony, they're really small and swarm incredibly fast whenever a dead bug appears

Oh man shut the fuck up, I already couldn't sleep with whatever sickness I had throughout the day

I'll let them have its corpse because why not, it makes me be sure that it will soon be devoured, that's enough payback for me

>having an entire ecosystem in your room

Burn the house down and take better care of your next one.

The eggs are already in him; he'll just carry them to the next place.

Post the roach bite, sucker.

I wish I could but it's not my house, I'm living with my grandma right now, there's also a tick infestation

You ever seen a roach giving birth to millions of small roaches?
Go ahead, google it, keep your flamethrower ready though.

post a picture of your feet rn please

Dude, I see that roach leg on the right. You've got a roach problem.

No that one is part of that roach, I smacked it really hard with my sandal that its leg got cut off

what tf do ticks have to do with feet?

nothing just post feet

But I won't deny that there is a roach infestation in this house, I already had stated that

I fucking hate roaches. Moved into my house and these fuckers swarmed out of nowhere at night to eat my pets' food. Called an exterminator and had them killed.
Are you in the US OP? Why haven't you cleaned and called an exterminator?

ROACHES? Don't talk to me about fucking roaches. This weekly hotel I'm staying in is fucking infested with them. German roaches. I hate them so much.
Been staying up all night watching out for roaches, can't sleep, can't relax, NOPE! I sit down on the couch and immediately jump off because a curious roach liked the way it smelled.
At first I thought it was bad when they were all over the kitchen, but now they're getting bold. They're coming out even though I Ieave the lights on, they're crawling on the ceiling (which is NOT GOOD since they're stupid and tend to fall from the ceiling) and the walls near the bed and the babies sneak out in broad daylight. The bug spray has been helping, though.
Thank GOD for Raid. It really does kill bugs dead. Sprayed it all over their fucking hiding places and I love spraying the shit out of wanderers and watching them seize up and die on the spot. The raid is even taking out random earwigs I didn't even know were here, which are bugs I don't actually mind, but the ends justify the means. Sorry, earwigs. I don't not mind you guys enough to worry about if you'll wander into Raid traps I set for roaches.
Still haven't totally eradicated them though. I'm running out of bug spray too, so I'm all over the place "BAP! BAP! BAP!" smashing the nasty pieces of shit with my shoe and waking up the neighbors, but FUCK the neighbors. I've seen them. Weird nigger druggies. They're probably the reason the roaches decided to stay without pay. I'd love to smash those coons with a shoe too.
I really really hate this place, but I have to get my money's worth, so I can't leave until Thursday, which seems like such a long time from now

I've seen a female engorged tick have birth, no shit like that affects me anymore

>inb4 op becomes a turkish superhero

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Sounds like a shit place, and you just gave me the idea to make a fumigation in my room with some raid for roaches that I just bought

poor mutts, all those roaches in murica, worst thing in europe there might be a mice but it's easy to deal with it

Why do you always have to make this about americans vs euros?

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>German roaches
Watch out they will invade your ass

>worst thing in europe there might be a mice

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Not the same guy but the first time I saw a roach was literally in the US. Been staying in LA had dinner and went back to my hotel and then I saw them just on the fucking sidewalk eating some spilled liquid. Never in my 30 years before this have I seen a roach but maybe that's just LA.

Almost the entirety of America, including Mexico and South America, don't know about Canada, is filled to the brim with roaches, literally the first thing that will inavde your home and make an infestation, it's not just in LA, worst thing is that some of them come from the sewers

I'm fucking dying, this thread is great. This reminds me of a couple stories. Once I was laying down in bed chilling like I am right now, then suddenly a large blurry figure came into my sight and then my eye started to burn up. An ant crawled onto my face and into my eye.

Another time I was getting a quick breakfast before work so I did not make myself eggs and decided to go for a bowel of cereal. I poured in my cereal into the bowel, got my milk and started to pour it in. Then my cereal began to violently shake and a roach jumped out.

Fuck it has been awhile since I have seen a roach in my place now, I am getting scared that I am due for another encounter.

Bug stories?
My mate had a roach climb into his ear when he was asleep. Fucker got caught in his earwax, started scratching his eardrum to the point where he could hear its legs wiggling and scratching. Had to go to the ER, they got it removed but now he can feel air go through his eardrum sometimes and it hurts him/makes weird noises.
Anyway, I'm sure you won't have any trouble sleeping tonight

worst place where an ant has bit me is on the lips, I couldn't imagine being bitten on the eye or having an ant crawl there

A family member had that happen to her, I don't remember what bug it was though, but we had to go to the ER as well and they removed it with some oil, it was like 3 in the morning and she was constantly screaming in pain, shit sucked

I've often thought that the worst torture you could inflict on someone would be to isolate the blood supply for their brain onto a heart/lung machine, and then tie them down on an anthill.

That way they can't go into shock and can feel their body being eaten and dying while being fully aware of the experience.

Thanks dudes. I will pray to God that I will make it through another night without this happening to me.

Truly devilish way to kill someone

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>tfw no roaches, rats, scary hissing bugs or giant hornets where I live. Worst would be mosquitos or wasps.

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Yeah thanks for the nightmares.

Skip the medical expenses and just give em enough drugs to prevent shock but let them be aware of what's going on. Common method for beatings before execution

OP is gonna transform into some scuffed ass superhero now, the ability to eat garbage and survive a nuclear holocaust

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OP pls post feet

NANANANANANANANA NANANANANANANANA
ROACHMAN!

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Just put out tons of flavoured paracetamol around the dissolve in water type

I already put some alcohol a like and hour and a half ago

Does it work Kiel

>aggressive man-eating roaches
>ants immediately move in to clean up the carnage after you kill it
what the fuck is going on with your house

Welp looks like there were even more roaches lurking in my room after I fumigated the shit out of it, now I'm scared of going back to sleep

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I don't know but based ants are based for cleaning up for me

they are just getting desperate now that food sources are low.
Keep your house clean and your sleeping area free of food and their numbers should drop. Although, you may never get rid of them completely.

It did, I just wanted to be sure that it didn't get infected which I doubt

>now I'm scared of going back to sleep
I can very much relate to this.

Weird thing is that there is absolutely no food sources in my room, I never eat there because of roaches specifically, they just run rampant in every part of the house

have you thought about throwing some food on the ground so they will go for the food instead of you?

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Don't be silly, that would only concentrate more the amount of roaches in my room

throw it in another room duh

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The ants betrayed me it seems, they only came for the leg that pointed out and then leaved

They probably just mark them spot to get more ants to help transport the roach.

>A ROACH JUST FUCKING BIT ME
>And yeah, I have an ant nest somewhere hidden in my room
>looks like there were even more roaches lurking in my room
jesus fucking christ this thread is the best one i've seen in a long fucking time

Had this happen to a family member with an ant and she killed it immediately by pouring water into her ear.

Wouldn't the roach go crazy while drowning in your ear. This would be even more scary.

Probably, because the day before yesterday when I woke up there was a roach to the left side of my bed on the floor and instantly smacked it, went to do breakfast, played some vidya and when I came back it was gone

Nah, roaches like water. They wouldn't even give a shit. If anything, it might make them more able to move around. Plus, imagine the inner ear infection if it tore your eardrum and the water got behind it.

I found their nest, it's a small pile of what seems like sand and dirt in a corner, when I brush it a lot of tiny ants come out of it, but I doubt that's their main base of operations, there has to be a bigger pile of that sand and dirt somewhere

Post pic of your room user

Better sleep with earplugs, no reason not to.

This is just an outpost. They have much bigger plans for your house.

Do you live in a third world country or something OP???
Buy some roach poison and bait ffs

Not a roach story but one time I was drinking juice and had the cup on my desk in the dark. Fire ants quickly started climbing into it and without me realizing I took a big ol swig only to feel a crawling sensation all over my hand afterwards. I turned on the lights and my drink had a bunch of ants floating in it.

One other time I poured myself a cup of coffee and when I started drinking it some strange lump was in the coffee. It had a bizarre texture and I couldn't figure out what it was by rolling it around with my tongue, so I pull it out with my fingers and see that it's a house fly. A fucking house fly got into the coffee I was just drinking, died, and ended up in my mouth.

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Used to masturbate onto roaches. Not a thing that I'm particularly proud of but I became quite good at it. I was taking zinc supplements so I was shooting massive loads and it became something of a sport to me. For anyone interested here is your best strategy. first, you need to find an isolated spot so you don't become a sex offender. I found a short kind of channel area where I saw the roaches would congregate. Next, you arouse yourself. I was usually content with envisioning the occasional jogging lady coming over and taking a shit on my chest and that was enough to fuel the fire but if you're not as sexually charged as me just take some porn on the go. After you're good an horny, you get some bread. Fat, unhealthy roaches are slower and easier to hit so remember that. Once you are seated on the bench and ready to do the deed, whip your roosevelt out and scatter bread out within a few feet of you. use your judgement based on how far you know you can cum. I was a lonely and depraved soul who could hit targets the size of a thimble at distances up to 4 feet. You wait for the roaches to begin eating and to get comfortable with your presence. At this point, you want to coo gently and talk sensually to them to gain their trust. Now you're finally ready to cum on your roach. This is a tough part because the rapid motion of masturbation is very frightening to the roaches, so you have to be subtle. Once you master a technique, you simply wind it up and let it go, aiming depending on your past cumming experiences. I always came high so I would aim for the neck of the roach and catch it right in the face. It's an extremely satisfying and erotic feeling, seeing those roaches reel around covered in cum and maybe even transporting it to other places in the city. Either way I haven't done it in years but every now and then I catch myself gazing wistfully at a flock of roaches, cock throbbing and waiting for them to come close to me.

That's amazing user. I wish every roach on earth right now was drowning in a sea of cum.

Yes they bite, and if they're getting desperate enough to bite you, you've got a serious problem. Also, they carry salmonella and a bunch of other diseases on them. You're going to get really sick. Clean your house, perhaps consult some professional help as far as cleaning goes, and definitely get checked out by a doctor about the bites. Also get some pros to come in and spray poison.

Did you think people were just joking or being silly about roach infestations being a huge problem?

Leave this hotel dude and you can probably get some nights for free by talking about the infestation and threatening to report them or sth

>tfw the most interesting thread on Jow Forums is about roaches

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You're turning into a turkishman now

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I hate cockroaches so much that I make a point of not killing any other types of bugs that show up in my room so that they can eat whatever roaches show up.

kek wtf did i just read?

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He adapted the bird masturbator copypasta to roaches
Acceptable