ITT: Vent

I don't find most women attractive, so when I do I make the effort. I came across this one 2 years ago and didn't know i liked her, that sounds weird but i had no clue my attraction to her. We were kinda friends but not to close. This year i got into contact with her again, and we got closer. I thought this was it, that i found someone. She was one of those artistic types so I could never tell if she said things to me that sounded like she liked me or because she was eccentric. This carried on for a couple of months. In a long string of mistakes I managed to fuck it up, and it turned out she was just eccentric. I haven't stopped thinking about her or my stupidity for 3 months.

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The usual tfw no gf. When does it end lads

We're understaffed at work, so I'm working full-time on top of school. Every once in a while we get a new hire and I get a little breathing room, but it never lasts for long (this has been going on for seven years). I can only take one class at a time with this going on.
I was receiving money from a pell grant. I eventually didn't fit a requirements and the school stopped approving me for the grant even when I was improving.

Finding a new job is the next step. I just want at least two days to dedicate to school. That way I can take multiple classes at once. The only problem is it's a family friend's business, so I have to be careful when burning this bridge. I wish I could quit without caring about who I'm fucking over.

The material world offers me no pleasure anymore. Buying things no longer makes me happy and hasn't done for a long time. Media is just too cynical for me to enjoy anymore. Most Hollywood movies that people cream their pants to are just CGI shitfests dumbed down to appeal to the chinese, TV is "diversified" even if it's at the expense of realism or performances. Even the internet offered little pleasure outside of porn and even that is just out of habit.

I'm about to hit 30 and I feel like I want to hide away from everything.

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I just went through my boomer mom's finances, on the phone, disputing charges, haggling bills and making payment plans and THIS bitch has the nerve to blame me for her "poverty" because of the one time I asked her to front me $200 for tires for my car two years ago. While I'm living the wageslave edging on poverty life, she's got a pension that covers all of her finances and leaves a few hundred to put away for whatever and STILL manages to fuck it all away and "forget" paying bills, coincidentally, on months when she wants to go gambling and treating herself.

I'm "not allowed" to make HER feel BAD by comparing her to her just as financially retarded mother but I AM ALLOWED TO "TAKE CARE OF" HER OVERDUE FUCKING BILLS.

I'm pissed because I realized way too fucking late what a leech she is because she did it to my dad until he died and now she's doing it to me because no other family lives near her. I tell her about this and she just kinds of glazes over as if as soon as I stop speaking all the problems go away. This is insane.

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My penis I really wish that I was uncut

Even though i have a decent job im still a isolated khhv. I have no friends and the isolation is driving mr insane. But i fear its to late to do a damn thing about it.

I'm finishing up my sophomore year at college atm and just feel complete dread. I'm not even halfway done and I feel like I'm on my last legs. I have no friends here, none, I only have two acquaintances that I've never spoken to for more than a few seconds at a time.

I have no gf either. Walking around campus seeing all these beautiful girls is torture. I'm not even ugly if I'm being honest, it's just that I'm so horribly shy I never talk to anyone. This is fucking horrible.

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I don't really see other people as people, I recognize their rights I can put myself in someone's shoes, I can read people's emotions, I know that they are individuals same as me but I can't bring myself to care for them. I see others as a resource or a gateway, they can help me or they can give me their knowledge or experience. I'm able to function more or less normally, I know that if I want something from someone I need to earn it, be on good terms with that person etc. I just can't see others as human beings which I think also causes me to not feel the need for relationships or interaction. Sometimes I feel like if I wanted to kill someone the only thing stopping me would be the moral values I forces myself to adapt. I'm pretty confused about all of this.

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I'll be your friend :'(
sorry about all youve been through

im fucking my best friends ex, should i feel bad?

>Girl in law school has boyfriend, don't think of her as potential date
>Nonetheless she refers to me as her law school boyfriend, LS husband, etc. in front of friends
>Start to become interested in her after all this
>She invites me to meet her friends and family, dinners, etc.
>Tells me she would date me if not for boyfriend, suggests she may break up
So far, so good.

>Suddenly she becomes utterly fucking reliable and virtually ghosts me, missing events we have planned to spend together
>Yet keeps commitment to another male law student who is interested in her, yet married. To be fair, guy is also her assigned partner on a final project

Still pissed as fuck. Don't know why I wasted my time with her. Actually, I do. I'm just pissed about it. I'm also pissed that she encouraged me to end a relationship I had developing with another girl and I took her advice as a friend and romantic interest.

But maybe I deserve it for dating a girl with a boyfriend.
Who knows. I feel thrown by it though. Torn between my usual tendency to be optimistic and exclusively forward-looking, notwithstanding setbacks, and my state of being livid and upset.

I am a college student. Where I am, many wish they were. And I enjoy it. But its so boring. So trivial. Just do a bunch of shit till youre done. People are so nice. So bland.
I miss when I was a crazy fucker. Young, drunk, chasing girls, doing drugs and breaking shit. But I ended up all alone. I miss when I was in the navy, running for my life the whole day, always under pressure. But I got kicked out.
Now I'm a good boy. People are nice to me and I'm nice to people. I purposely dulled my edge, now I'm soft. Bland. Normal. But without any of the privileges. I never laugh honestly. When normies have fun at a party, I look like one of them, but inside I wish I was drunk and fucking or fighting or running from the police. Girls flirt with me, but I dont know where to take it. I dont know how good boys operate. I could hit on them and make it suffer and I know exactly how to get them to my bed through manipulation and deceit, but I got no idea how normal people do it. I dont know how to get a girlfriend the healthy way.

Ironically enough, as I typed this post I got invited to a party tomorrow. I will go, dance like a normie, hang out with the cool kids, laugh and be loud. But then I'll walk home wishing I was in the army. Or dead. Or doing one of the many wrong things that made me feel alive, but ended up destroying my life in so many occasions. The night will end, I'll get home, jack off, sleep, and wake up just as disgusted with my life as I am now. Fuck normies. Fuck civilization. Fuck harmless fun. Above all, fuck anhedonia. I wish I could feel everything and not just the extremes.

1. Due to severe tendinosis of my left rotator cuff, I am in chronic pain. It is truly agonizing and I have not had a good night's sleep in almost three months as it flares up the most when I lie down. I am meeting with a specialist tomorrow but only for x rays.

Since my GP won't write me a prescription for painkillers, I am stacking 1600mg of ibuprofen with 2 to 4g of acetominaphen in the form of Tylenol PM (anything higher is toxic to your liver). I am also using arnica, ginger, turmeric, evening primrose oil, fish oil and several other things. None of it makes much of a difference. I wake up in agony, literally screaming and shaking. Then I massage my aching shoulder with an ice pack, attempt to sleep for 30 minutes, wake up in agonizing pain and repeat this cycle five or six more times throughout the night. It takes me 12 hours to get 4 hours of horrible sleep. On a scale of 1 to 10, the pain is a 20. By this, I mean it hurts twice as much as any agony I have ever experienced. I have broken my ankle before and walked five miles on it. I've broken other bones, endured a hernia that required surgery, a varicocele, etc. None of them can compare to the pain I am experiencing now. Nothing I have tried so far has helped (rest, ice, compression, heat, physical therapy, etc).]

2. Compounding my sleep situation is nerve damage in the right side of my neck that has been there for 10 years and has just decided recently to flare up once again. So even if I get to sleep for 30 minutes or so and my shoulder isn't hurting, my pinched nerve decides to start sending electric shocks down my neck until I wake up convulsing like I'm having a seizure.

3. I suffer from clinical depression. I have no money, no friends, no girlfriend, no hobbies, and really no life to speak of. I have been a NEET for years. I have a lot of goals (fantasies, really) but no plan for realistically attaining them and then there's the fact that I'm basically an invalid at the moment.

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People don't understand me and I don't understand people. I feel alienated and detatched. I'm not angry or bitter about it, I'm just sad.

Do you have any really close friends? Obviously you have an active social life, but do you have anyone you can say this kind of stuff to?
Do you have any hobbies?
If you don't, Find a hobby. maybe something you can do with others casually

My mind was born weak and lazy. I'm weak and lazy. I'm worthless and can't be good at anything, ever. I enjoy nothing and wish only death, but my body is scared of dying so I cannot do it.

the girl ive liked since ive met her is now talking to my bestfriend after i blew my chance with her so that kinda fucking sucks. im also crazy lonely and still a kv because i cant talk to girls. i also have no passion for the future and kinda hope i dont wake up tomorrow so i dont have to deal with the stress of living. pray for me anons.

I think every robot can agree that traps are hard to find and there are to many bottom regulars and twinks, there needs to be more sissycunt here for us

I love my job. I just wish they would pay me more. I'm afraid 2 ask.
Also I have horrible trouble going to sleep. It always feels like a waste of time if I sleep more then 6 hours on a weekday. Once I'm in bed I have no trouble falling asleep though.

I have hobbies and I have one close friend, though he's a robot I met from here so he doesnt participate in my social life.

But they dont seem to help much. My friend does help cause I can be myself with him and do stupid shit. But what I'm lacking is something meaningful. A strong emotion that is not destructive and that I can thrive with. Something that makes me suffer, but is worth suffering for. Something that makes me happy, not just in the meantime while I'm doing it, but has a transcendence. A fulfilling work which will bear fruits and make the world around me a better place.
Also I need a gf. A girl friend. Not just someone to fuck with, go on dates with and make each other horny and other people jealous. Someone who can handle my craziness and is glad to have that in her life, and also whose life is positively impacted by mine.

Why do you not get painkillers?

i thought you guys were exaggerating how useless therapy is but holy fucking shit it really is the dumbest bullshit
what a waste of time and money

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I feel emotionally, morally and mentally disconnected from mankind. I feel like everybody is a part of some giant human hivemind and I'm completely unplugged from it. Usually it's nice, because I can look at things from a different perspective, but sometimes it just weirds me out.

WHY ISN'T SHE A VIRGIN

>I can only take one class at a time
Are you fucking retarded? I worked 40 a week while taking 6 classes and came out fine.

I'm just happy the semester is almost over, I'm exhausted both mentally and physically. I'm too old for this shit, I'll just be glad next May when I'm done for good. The second anniversary of my dad's suicide was about a week ago and I've been feeling it more and more but I don't want to breakdown until after school lets out.

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She found someone else and put a stop to our fwb relationship. I always wanted to confess but feared she'd reject me and ended the benefits. Now they're over nonetheless and it' too late

I can't sing in tune, my pitch is always off, can't write good inspired lyrics. All the music I write is guitar based schlock.

It's been a rough year folks
>earlier this year
>tfw no sexual experience 23yo
>extremely resentful of people in relationships cause I could never have one
>become an alcoholic cause I'm pathetic and resentful
>kicked out of University after being caught drunk too many times
>detained in a psych ward because campus pd thought I was trying to drink myself to death (I wasn't, just very drunk)
>return home
>recovering alcoholic
>begin working part time job because no qualifications or charisma
>parents don't trust me and regularly search my room/car for empty bottles
>parents also angry at no full time job and constantly complain about how lazy and incompetent I am
>begin to ignore them after a few months of fighting
>things start getting better, even reconnect with an old friend
>finally have a social life
>things are good, starting to become more of a normie and mostly stop drinking
>become less misogynistic and more open minded
all until last night
>hanging out with only friend
>girl who has a boyfriend and a child shows up hungry for friend's cock, he tells her to come back later
>says that she left her kid home for her boyfriend to take care of after he returns from work, so that she could fuck my friend
>all of the anger and resentment immediately comes back
>hate women more than ever
>hate modern culture for encouraging cheating
>hate friend for perpetuating cheating culture
>resent parents because constant invasions of privacy
>hate myself for getting into debt and being too much of a stupid fucking drunk to finish my degree

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Finally met a girl on OKC
We facetimed for days
Then when we make plans to go on a date she ghosts me.

Im trying not to hate women but its so hard

Yeah, I am and sometimes I lack the motivation to do things. We aren't all the same.
I'm sure you're a smart and successful person, user. I hope that I can be as successful as you. I am doing what I can to put myself in a better situation. Maybe I can be proud of what I've accomplished just like you.

My ex been on my mimd latly. I feel like i cant move on from her. I still miss her and its been a year. Since we dated but we talk last month. But havent talk simce then.

Basically this. The only real companionship I have in the world are a few ride or die friends. I don't even feel like I belong in my family.
If something were to happen to my buddies I'd probably just drop off society and never return. There's no point.

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I think I have a lot to offer a girl, besides my lack of social skills and being an introvert I'm fairly well off in all other aspects of life.
I guess I'm just boring.....

I worry i can only find a girl online, where I can open up and then move it IRL. But I can't compete with all these other guys.

I'm started to feel desperate.

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Thank you for sharing. I was having trouble understanding your situation.
Maybe having a gf would fix the empty emotions you feel but I wouldn't put that all on one person.
What is your hobbies if you don't mind me asking?

Is your robot friend irl on online? (this one doesn't really matter and I won't follow up on, I'm just curious so you don't have to answer it if you don't want to)

If I could recommend something that helped me with the same thing: go to the gym with a friend if you have been going a lone, preferably someone who you actually like (like your robot friend)

>neet life for almost half a year
>have to move out and in with some friends but i have no money or job
>basically accepted at mcdonalds just have to wait a bit now
>overdrafted bank acct
>hate school, dont know what to do with my life
>only able to develop feelings for my friends girlfriends
>wagie life and rent in an expensive area
im not ready to give up yet but this shit is so annoying, daily thoughts of suicide

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>19 y/o khv finishing freshman year of college
>never talked to girls, was a super late bloomer so I got made fun of for being short in high school and looking like a little kid
>still appear a few years younger than I am and don't have any ability to talk to girls.
I have some friends who are also autistic and I'm doing well in school, so I'm not totally miserable, but I wish I had a gf. I'm not desperate, but I fear rejection and embarrassing myself because I'm not great at talking to new people and I don't have super normal interests. I'm not ugly but I feel like I haven't physically matured as much as an average guy my age (baby face, cant grow beard, kinda skinny) so that also makes me feel like girls at college wouldn't be interested in me.

>Wouldn't it be easier if you left that behind
Of course it would. A lot of things would be. Obviously that's most of the problem to begin with. But consider this for a second: maybe I like wallowing in my misery like a pig in shit, ever think of that? What's the alternative? Being a successful, well-adjusted cog in the machine?

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