/britfeel/

Might play some total war or draw for abit then go down my brothers and get some weed
*shits his pants then reaches in them and grabs a handful of shit and then chucks it at you*
Oi shitface com on then

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HOW FUCKING DARE YOU YOU DISGUSTING ANIMAL, COME HERE SO I CAN BEAT THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU
*sprints after you but runs out of breath after only 5 seconds*

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Oi where did you steal them ladders from

Have you considered fucking moving.

>forgot to put bins out
>hear bin men outside in the back lane
>rush out with my recycling bin
>"wheyy, just in time kidda"
>lovely sunny day
>sit outside with a coffee and some leftover takeaway from last night
>cat pops into the back yard
>give it a little bit of chicken

:)

It's only for 3 days fortunately, but 3 days too many

Just a poifect day, feed cats down a lane some chicken
Then later a wank too and then vidya

go back to therapy?

don't ruminate if you can help it.

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-48106068

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>Go to cinema
>1 ticket for End Game please
>Oh and I live in 75%+ Northerner populated area
>theatre is packed with mostly Northerners all bellowing and and necking Carling while ads are playing
>Sit near the front middle
>Northern group behind me make a comment
>"Look at this reet suvvan faireh, like"
>Try to ignore them and hope they stop
>they start throwing sausage rolls at me and continue making comments
>"Mbwembe is fookin shite mate, i'll deck ya yoo cunt"
>I get up and move
>They follow and sit behind me again and continue to make comments about Souf F.C and me being alone
>"Ey Baz, hold me pie i'm gonna belly bounce this spacker" one of them says
>I get up and leave
>Don't bother asking for a refund or complaining because theatre staff are all Northerners.

Just wish they'd leave me alone.

grow a moustache and a mullet, up north that's trending now.

This greentext is a very inaccurate portrayal of the North and I find it offensive

O shit lad, hope someone kicked a terrorist in the baws again

If someone started throwing sausage rolls at me I would simply catch them in my mouth and let them slip neatly into my gullet without chewing like a seagull

>be a man of Pakistani descent
>apply to university but father and mother only agree to send you to one in scotland such is their shame at their son
>make no friends at university and blame everyone around him but himself
>get increasingly jealous and angry at flatmates who appear to be enjoying their university experience
>empty piss bottles into their ribena in frustration
>set up hidden cameras in flatmates toilet alone film her taking a shit
>v& and kicked out of university
>move back home to Manchester
>start wearing a dress
>try desperately to be an e celeb on Jow Forums and beg people for fru ends hip, even offering money
>only successful friendship is a BNP and baked bean enthusiastic from the south that uses him for free theatre tickets and ubers around London
Is this better/more accurate depiction of life in the norf Poley?

To be fair you live in Little Pakistan, hardly an accurate representation

Plan B failing to happen is basically like when Brexit didn't happen.
Moni is our Theresa May and I want the freak gone.

Fuck sake, our BRITISH supermarkets are now selling RAMADAN advent calendars

hotukdeals.com/deals/ramadan-advent-calendar-1-now-3222503

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>tfw planning a visit to moni's house VERY soon

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Plan M, I like it.

Dye like them wee pies you get in m&s as well lad

I like how you're ignoring absolute scaredy cat

>getting angry at chocolate on hotukdeals on a sunny Tuesday morning

Simmer down

Anyone use to have one of these? Found mine in the garage, still fun.
Reading online, lots of people like to hate on them. But they are fun.
Maybe I should learn how to ride a skateboard, or would that be weird? Need something to do outdoors.

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>Need something to do outdoors.
Have a wank in the park

You're a bitter bully at best and a normie at worst

You're a sex offender that shouldn't be allowed out in public and has to buy friendship from people, so forgive me if don't take anything you say seriously. Better get to your high class call centre Poley lad

Let's be honest Amer, nothing that ge said was untrue was it? Calling him a bully or a normie for pointing out what a disgusting cretin you are is pretty bloody laughable

>lad
>amer
FUCK OFF

morning britfeel. how you all doing this fine toosday? got the a/c on here in the office. gonna have lunch soon.

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hotukdeals is the most paki site out there, why was you on it lad?

finishing off my Amer x Yasim x Zeus erotic fanfiction.

Less hungover than expected, just having a chocolate brownie

>You're a sex offender that shouldn't be allowed out in public and has to buy friendship from people
Not true. He FAILED to buy friendship from people.

Still crack up at when that girl on /soc/ did show legitimate interest in getting to know Poley and he told her to fuck off, which angered /soc/ and turned even THEM against him

>fuck off
Nah shant be doing that Amer lad

okay they say holding water isnt gonna make you wet
but i've been on and off alcohol, weed, and smokes for 3 years now
some were great
anyway
like my video youtube.com/watch?v=mcL51TeOKpg

link me when you're finished, lad. gonna attempt the nofap meme soon and that will come in handy for any boners i have. shrivel them away within seconds.

sounds yummy that, m8. glad your hangover isn't giving you too much shit. enjoy that brownie lad.

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Guys I have a job interview soon, and I've got a white long sleeve shirt, black suit pants, black tie but for shoes I don't have anything, will these be okay?

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>will these be okay?
Not really.

If you've got the charisma of Del Boy then you'll get away with it

Im also less hungover than I expected but I have zero energy, might try doing some yoga or something

I wished I was a talented artist/athlete. How easy of a life must that be to earn shit tons of money whilst working a 'job' you actually enjoy, and having tons of free time to do whatever you want?

Life is so cruel and unfair.

wish I was a central midfielder for west brom lads

Been a NEET for a year now. Have literally no friends in real life or online. Only leave the house for appointments and stuff. Anyone else here in even a remotely similar situation to me?

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very quikly could anyone plese try to post a Empire Market working link

I have those shoes but in red, wearing them right now

yes but I work and I'm happy to be alone

fuck off NCA, I'm not falling for this shit anymore

WHEN WILL EMPIRE COME BACK UP REEEEE

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Nice one, didnt know they went up to size 13s

>All flights were suspended after the crew on the aircraft, which had just landed from Gatwick, raised the alarm at 10:25.
>BBC Scotland understands the incident was linked to a suspicious package.

Did one of yous order a munchy box or summat

NCA? I mean post an imgur link like the last guy

um, I wear a 7

Yeah, real slick Mr. NCA Agent

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Off to toil

Kinda hoping they put me on the phones today so I can fuck it up by taking 4 calls an hour or something

Drug addicts btfo lmao

Sure you do hon

formerly. had agoraphobia for several years. spent my mids teens to early twenties indoors. only began leaving for appointments with doctors later on, before that i had them come to me. but yeah, i feel ya. 25 now, working, got my own place. things will only improve if you push yourself and make /some/ kind of first step. even if it seems small to other people, do what you can to improve. don't end up giving your best years to the internet, nigga.

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>Paki Lord Farquad desperately jamming his massive feet into size 7's

Bored now lads. Might go back to bed

They only other ones I have don't fit anymore, but I suppose if I give them a good scrub they could manage, it's only for a supermarket job though

Honest, why would I lie?

>hon
Might be uggo but I'm not a hon, I also have money for surgery, just need to get a passport to access it

Ohhhhh of course, the HRT changed Poley's feet into svelte size 7s!. Cola said it did the same to his man feet.

youtube.com/watch?v=OZE4y4PSjCw

got a spider in the room. not happy but being brave and leaving it.unless it tries to get in the kitchen like the last 1 i left then it's splattin time
*gets shoe ready just incase*

I was always a size 8 at most

>spider wearing 8 air max and a little nike cap taxes user's tinnies when he isn't looking

Imagine being a six foot person with size 7 feet, would pay to see this at a circus
>why would I lie
Ah yes, you have such a scrupulous past, we would obviously give you the benefit of the doubt.

>catch spider
>pee on it
Never have a problem with spiders again

motherfucker. it's crossed the wall and is heading towards the kitchen door
just don't want to walk through a door where it's lurking menacingly. i've seen 8 legged freaks

reminder that 33% of millenials will never own a house

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why's poley always dragging cola into it, leave her alone ffs

someday I will own my container house in the country

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The way trannies talk about HRT it's like you take a pill and turn instantly into a woman - exactly like how humans turn into werewolves in movies

I didn't mention her

I didn't mention HRT either

that's unironically my dream. or a little cabin or some shit. i'd die in like a day since idk how to build or maintain a property, but it's a nice thought.

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Okay I found some shoes, which would you choose for job interview?

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Alright, lads? What's the plan for today? Me? I'm heading to Primark to buy:
>socks
>tightie whiteies
>pyjammie jams
>cheap t shirts
Then I'm heading to Tesco to get some food.
Hope you all have a good day today, my friends.

What is the interview for? Any office job i would say no. Retail bar work or something then probably yes.

>which would you choose for job interview?
Left

is it wrong to steal bread for your family?
or to add again some guy to whom you send a friendship request
but also sent him some very sexual messages
no, i guess, so i will cancel the pending request

going to work ladle, know none of my mates are going to be with me so im going to be stuck with romanian fucks all day
at least the girls have ASS and wear skintight leggings...

same lad, I want to be a cabin loner innawoods living off the land and not giving a fuck the modern woes

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Where do you work, friend? Phwoar, love a bit of arse in leggings. Would love to force my cock through a hole and fuck them!

think that spider had an existensial crises and an hero'd. saw xim was skulking accross the wall then they stopped, looked at me, then jumped off the wall. now it's climbed up the wall again the crazy lil fuck. cat might get it if it stays low.

As much as I like the idea of a comfy cabin I think I'd miss internet and fast food too much

Im Warehouse lad
a lot of the romanian girls are fine as fuck

Spider crawled across my arm the other day but he was a wee small bastard. Still freaked out and he landed in the ground and went on his way. After getting mice in the house, spiders don't bother me at all anymore.

Supermarket, but it's okay I found some my brother left.
I think so to, the others look like prom shoes