Ideal boyfriend thread

Hard mode keep it down to 5 requirements. I'll start.

> Christian ( not hardcore) or agnostic
> Taller than me in heels ( 182cm barefoot)
> Not racist at all ( I'm white but just find it's a turn off )
> Competes in tournaments of some kind. Even Esports. As long as I get to watch you on stage doing your best
> Either slightly chubby ( bellies can be cute and fun) or athetic fit body. I have zero attraction to skellies, skinnyfats, and full on obese body types.

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>( not hardcore) or agnostic
>Not racist at all
You should become more traditionalistic, ma'am

Remarkable, I have met all of your criteria.

my idea bf would be a friendless clingy virgin

>Competes in tournaments of some kind
fuck off roastie your desire for competitiveness is disgusting

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>Competes in tournaments
fuck off roastie

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Gore is one thing, animal abuse quite another
I hope you suffer a slow painful death

if you dont want to see animal abuse then get the fuck out normalfag

>bellies can be cute and fun
I'm a skelly recently turned belly and I don't believe you. I'm still gonna lose this skinnyfat gut and go back to skellymode so fuck you OP

imagine being proud of being a complete degenerate to society, that no one would ever live or want you, that once your parents die you will having nothing but this dumb board you are so weirdly possessive over, that your life will forever remain insiginificant and loveless. imagine being proud of that.

Unfortunately, most guys on here also have zero attraction to skellies, skinnyfats and full on obese body types

>most guys on here don't like skinny, medium or fat girls
Are you talking about the homos? I mean it's true most people don't like fat lards, but I doubt many people would reject a girl for being skinny.

>but this dumb board
One man's trash is another's treasure. Dismissed.

I call first dibs on skelly loving femanons

Not being a subhuman does not make me a normie, subhuman
Do us all a favor and end yourself

>atheist and leftie
>intelligent and witty
>stylish and fashionable
>takes interest in art theory
>skelly, height doesn't matter

Thsi makes little sense, human gore is that of your fellow species, not the creatures you eat on the daily basis.
Unless you're vegan, then ok.

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>Worthless, brain damaged, jobless bitter drunk, self-loathing, anti-social, lazy, weak
but
>Very good looking
Is there a chance for me just based on my looks? Or is personality all that matters.

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>feminine/sensitive but not gay
>weeb
>glasses
>not addicted to porn
>doesn't have any severe mental illness (like bpd, bipolar, schizophrenia)

>Not racist at all

Everybody's racist.

I'm sensitive but, I'm not really feminine and I fit all that other stuff.

I fit that bill ma'lady

it depends, i have met robots who claimed to be very good looking but were just a little above average

I see how women react around me. I'm just curious based on those characteristics wether it's true or not.

I don't know if I'm very stylish, but I fit the rest, do you like conspiracy theories?

nice, what now? marriage?

Only to laugh at them. Anybody who sincerely buys into that shit fails my second criterion.

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many conspiracy theories are true. you can easily look up the declassified documents. look up mkultra for example. once a conspiracy theory, now fact. it would be naive to think some of the conspiracies floating around now aren't in a similar category

>Only to laugh at them. Anybody who sincerely buys into that shit fails my second criterion

I don't buy into most of them of course, but I love reading about them, I also like reading about things like thelema, and cults like that, its crazy what lengths people will go
I agree

Idk senpai, do you want to chat on discord or something?

>shared hobbies and passions
the last guy i dated, i met from going to an esports thing
we dated for 8 months, he broke up with me a few weeks ago
it was really cool to be able to share something i felt so passionate about with him
>patient
>not ashamed or anxious to be seen with me
>ideally taller than me
and
>good in bed

>he broke up with me a few weeks ago
Got over it pretty quick

>not ashamed or anxious to be seen with me
why would someone feel that way? is there something wrong with you?

>creatures you eat on the daily basis
I don't eat dogs and cats, gook

>Not a weeb
>taller than me (5'2)
>skelly or just a little chub
>white
>virgin

finally I meet someone's standards! I will go with you, but only if your disdain for weebs matches mine

>femanons buying into the height meme

>that one example everybody brings up totally makes muh qanon and 9/11 shit legit

>I don't buy into most of them of course
Lole.

I see no difference except the cultural one. Dogs are said to taste like pork. Nobody really eats cats, though, they are small, you can't breed and keep them like rabbits, and their meat is sour.

doesn't feel like it. i don't feel ready to date again. i'm just here because i am lonely and i want attention.
i am trans.

This isn't a board for trannies, /LGBT/ is something you should consider checking out.

We get it, user. You perceive intelligence as the set of views that align with your 14 year old atheism "skepticism". I know thinking is hard, but try being a little more nuanced.

>not buying into the height meme
Enjoy not being attracted to your intelligent basedbearded manlet leftist future bf and fapping to blacked.com for years to come.

You sound incredibly sour to be around, and incredibly stupid too, I'm sorry that you can't think for yourself and can only believe in things everyone else does.

>willing to give a wakandan woman his surname, virginity, and DNA
>wants to live near the sea/in the countryside
>likes noise music
>likes psychs
>will call me his weird little programmer girl even if I'm the taller one

>being nuanced and thinking for yourself means buying into my pet theories
Every time without a fail.

>basedbearded
Beards are ugly though, that's an instant no.

sure, but could you tell me what your ideal gf would be like, user?

as a 6'2 relatively attractive /b/tard that fucks women all the time, i gotta tell you femcels, the height obsession is unattractive as fuck.
honestly, here's the least ideal GF:

>"i love tall guys, boys under 6ft go away" (meanwhile, she has an over 30 inch waist)
>"I LUUURRRVE DOGS" (then why don't you go fuck a dog? note: this is dogwhistle for "i'm a bitch; basic")
>"Sarcastic as fuck" (has no real sense of humor)
>"Wine enthusiast" (alcoholic with emotional problems)

that covers the major red flags. funny how these chicks make such a big deal about commitment from "real men, not boys" since they aren't worth a god damn minute of anyone's time.

Will you wear the vibrating programming socks I buy you?

You're so oblivious to the world around you, you're nothing but a serf being herded around by those who control you and manipulate everything around you, you aren't intelligent, you're not even the sheep that gets hunted by the wolf. Continue living life blinded by your countries unimportant politics, choosing sides with no winner

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Haha i probably hate them more than you

>Biologically female
>feminine
>introverted
>smart/bookish

Any of that fit? Also I'm 22.

i go out of my way everyday to harass them! we'd make a great pair

>willing to give a wakandan woman his surname, virginity, and DNA
What if I'm not technically a virgin?

>likes noise music
>likes psychs
Can you elaborate on what you mean by these?

i guess so, my intelligence is average but i try to make up for that by reading a fair amount and working hard. what about appearance? do you have any expectations?

What if my virginity was stolen from me?

We can go around harassing weebs on our first date

And every date after too hopefully. Who needs coffee when a weebs rage makes you feel so much more alive? Contact?

I'm fit all of that, but I'm only attracted to women taller than me (above 5'5)

What sort of stuff do you read? And I don't really care that much about appearance. I really hate septum nose rings, extremely short hair or if you are extremely overweight but other than that I'm not really that picky.

oh, that's perfect then. i'm 5'8, i'm glad that's not a problem.

Send me your discord to [email protected]

sp0tted the incel

>182cm barefoot
>almost 6' tall barefoot
What are you, some kind of mutant amazon giantess?

God wouldn't that be hot though

>tfw no tallfag femdom gf who can absolutely dominate me with her height

>tfw no tallfag gfd gf to make me feel like a good boy and scratch my head and fix my hair whenever it's messy

All I want in this life is a (not literal) mommy gf. Is that entirely too much to ask for?

Was one of those a dealbreaker for you user? I'm going to bed, if you want to chat leave your discord or email or something.

thats me but im neurotic as fuck.

manlet detected

origami

Shoveldog-posting better not become a thing again.

>but you're still short
yes, because she will outright reject you for failing the criteria

wanting a taller gfd gf is an oxymoron, if she's taller, she wont be your gf in all likelyhood

the 5% of girls that are actually taller than you, i've always seen with 6'4 dudes, but keep fantasizing

oh it will
if it gets normies to leave than ill post it everywhere

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>not addicted to porn
In your eyes, I am. And you would not want to please me with the same frequency that could replace it unless you are very very subby.

Rest werks

Not at all, you are probably asleep, but if you check out the archive, my discord is: mickie#1220

>not a hit or miss, will never miss
>will kiss me
>not gonna find another girl, will miss me
>won't skrrt and hit the dab like Wiz Khalifa

Oh well, my actual mom is shorter than me by now anyway. Not that it matters though, being a mommy gf is more about how they act nurturing and extremely supportive and rub your head as described in .

I wish you well in your endeavors and I believe that if you truly want to find a guy like that you can.

fucking based. I'm with you bro, gonna start posting my most awful shit to make these redditourists uncomfortable.

based niggerette

leave our Warwick alone

>Can you elaborate on what you mean by these?
if you must ask , you ain't in the running, m8.

>ma'am
Oh you poor naive child.

yeah go fuck yourself. if anything liking animals is more robotic since they're not like normie humans at all

>wakandan
That's a made up country.

Dear weird little programmer girl, if you want to know a real man, come to Kampala.
t. Idi Amin

just admit you're a trap already. your ideal guy is queer.

>loves me for who I am
>won't leave or cheat on me
>not too ugly

>>loves me for who I am
but who are you?