Having trouble meeting girls, Champ? Nonsense. I've seen all those girls checking you out...

Having trouble meeting girls, Champ? Nonsense. I've seen all those girls checking you out, and you could totally get one if you showed some backbone and tried. You've just gotta crawl outta that thick shell of yours, hand them a bouquet of flowers, give 'em a firm handshake, and tell 'em you're not letting go until they accompany you to dinner. Heh, they'll be all over you once you crawl outta your shell, Champ!

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it doesn't work that way anymore faggot girls just line up for chad on tinder

Nonsense, Champ. I've seen all those girls checking you out, and you could totally get one if you showed some confidence. The reason why your friend Thud, Thad, or Brad, or Chaz gets so many is because he's willing to walk up to them, hand 'em a bouquet of flowers, give 'em a firm handshake, and tell them that he's not letting go until they accompany him to dinner.

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CHAZ DOESNT HAVE A RECESSED MAXILLA

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"When are ya gonna give your mother and me some grandchildren, Champ? Having kids is important because it gives you direction, a sense of achievement, and someone who'll take care of you when you get old. Why the glum face? Oh, I know: Girl trouble. Champ, that Lacey girl wasn't laughing at you; she was laughing with you. The sky's the limit when you sweep them off their feet with your winning smile. C'mon, Champ: A handsome guy like you ought to have no problem finding the right girl. And introducing yourself to one is as simple as walking up to her, smiling, standing up tall, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she accepts your invitation to dinner."

"Heh. Girls will practically be chasing you when you crawl outta your shell, Champ. Hell, a good-looking fella like you'll practically have to fend them off with a broom."

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SHUT THE FUCK UP BOOMER AAAAAAAAAA
FUCKING HELL IM SICK OF THOSE FUCKERS WHEN WILL THE DIE FOR FUCK SAKE

>unironically wishing you had a dad who was this encouraging

My dad molested me and I haven't seen him in 15 years.

>hand them a bouquet of flowers, give 'em a firm handshake, and tell 'em you're not letting go until they accompany you to dinner.
I'll try this

Get a girlfriend, kiddoji.

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The first post was funny. The 2nd/3rd reposts weren't.

Saged.

who is the wojak tho

Champ, let me give you a big piece of advice for meeting girls and finding that special someone with whom you'll have kids of your own someday. You could do everything by the book but no matter how hard you work out, how much you shower, how much money you make (although getting a job is a must -- we'll get to that later), or how much of a saint you are to women, you WILL NOT get any ladies without giving them a firm handshake.

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This is why robots use Grindr tinder will never work and getting girls is not what robots do best can hope for is pounding boipucci

Did you enjoy it user how big was his dick compared to yours?

Looks like someone needs a firmer handshake, heh!

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Prove him wrong and find a boiwife

"Oh, don't beat yourself up, Champ. There are plenty of girls for someone like you out there if you're just willing to look. Speaking of which: When are ya gonna give your mother and me grandchildren, Champ? Having kids is important because it gives you direction, a sense of achievement, and someone who'll take care of you when you get old. Why the glum face? Oh, I know: Girl trouble. Champ, that Lacey girl wasn't laughing at you; she was pointing and laughing with you. Girls like a confident guy who can sweep her off her feet with a winning smile. A handsome guy like you ought to have no problem finding the right girl. And introducing yourself to one is as simple as walking up to her, smiling, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she accepts your invitation to American Bandstand. I'll even buy you tickets so you two can sit together in the front row.

"It's as easy as pie! Girls will practically be chasing you when you crawl outta your shell, Champ. You'll be running around so much, you'll practically have to fend them off with a broom. After all, I didn't raise my Champ to be a quitter!"

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Can we not ban this faggot? Shitty reposts are a major rule violation on this stupid board.

This shit makes the femanons almost tolerable in comparison.

Champ, back in my day, saying something like that was just another way of saying you needed a kick in the keyster to get you going. Now finding a nice girl and not being a degenerate weirdo nitpicker is as simple as walking up to her, giving her a firm handshake, handing her a box of chocolates, and asking her out on a date!

Heh, WHEN you have kids, you'll sit back and laugh at just how much your ol' pop was right.

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at least boomer dad has the gumption to drive home a point, while all your entitled millennial ass can do is whine about it as always

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

Sounds like you have a case of being deep in the closet, try fucking DILFS

So, Champ. Tell everyone when you're gonna give your mother and me grandchildren. What's that, Champ? You haven't found anyone?

>laughter, chatter amongst family members in the background

There are plenty of girls for someone like you out there if you're just willing to look.Why the glum face? Oh, I know: Girl trouble. Champ, that Lacey girl wasn't laughing at you; she was POINTING and laughing with you. Girls like a confident guy who can sweep her off her feet with a winning smile. A handsome guy like you ought to have no problem finding the right girl. And introducing yourself to one is as simple as walking up to her, smiling, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she accepts your invitation to American Bandstand. I'll even buy you tickets so you two can sit together in the front row.

It's as easy as pie! Girls will practically be chasing you when you crawl outta your shell, Champ. You'll be running around so much, you'll practically have to fend them off with a broom.

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But how do i crawl out of said shell boomer dad AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

It's as simple as finding a nice girl, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her you're not letting go until she goes with you to dinner. You've gotta be confident, Champ.

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Brace for the burning of pepper spray and the hysterical screeching of rape comes next I guess

Try that and see what happens

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Don't gimme any of that nonsense. Everyone has kids, Champ. Having kids gives you a sense of achievement and makes you more responsible. They'll be your legacy even long after you're gone, and it ensures that someone will be around to take care of you when you're old. But you don't get there with milk and cookies, Champ. You've gotta be a go-getter like your friend Chud or Chaz or whatever his name was.

And it's as simple as finding a nice girl, handing her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she comes with you to the school dance. You've just gotta be persistent, Champ!

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These threads are really great desu

>handing her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she comes with you to the school dance
But Daaaad, we're living in the age of #metoo, this shit will get me suspended or arrested.
God you don't know anything dad, I hate you!

did someone shop her shoulders? what the fugggg

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I love champ memes. I want to meet the creator of this meme.

Me too? Champ, you can say You Too when you settle down with a nice girl. And meeting one is as simple as walking up to her, giving her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her you're not letting go until she goes with you to dinner.

WHEN you have kids and they're down in the dumps, you'll be giving them this exact same pep talk!

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>walking up to her
Dad, I am in a wheelchair

Whatdy'a mean you're in a wheelchair, Champ? Back in my day, that was just another way of saying you needed a kick in the keyster to get you going. Settling down with a nice girl is easy, Champ. You've just gotta go up to her, give her a firm handshake, and tell her that you're not letting go until she goes out with you to dinner.

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thats considered harassment now dad.
The world has changed ...

Don't gimme any of that harassment mularkey, Champ. Everyone has kids, Champ. Having kids gives you a sense of achievement, makes you more responsible, continues the family legacy, and ensures that someone who'll take care of you when you get old. By golly, why the glum face? Oh, I know: Girl trouble. Champ, that Lacey girl wasn't laughing at you; she was laughing with you. Girls like a confident guy with a winning smile. And introducing yourself is as simple as walking up to her, handing her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she comes with you to the school dance.

Don't gimme any of this mularkey about your looks or height. Girls will practically be chasing a handsome fella like you when you crawl outta your shell, Champ.

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>and tell 'em you're not letting go until they accompany you to dinner
Great I can have a song about me and my persistence.
youtube.com/watch?v=cMTAUr3Nm6I

This is my dad in a nutshell
You can't properly connect with them, they don't feel like a real person and just act as someone to say "you can do it, champ" even if whatever the task is is impossible. They also expect you to be able to do all these things without a problem, they're NPCs and they treat you like you're an NPC.

When are ya gonna give us grandchildren, Champ? Everyone has kids, Champ. Having kids gives you a sense of achievement, makes you more responsible, continues the family legacy, and ensures that someone who'll take care of you when you get old. Why the glum face? Oh, I know: Girl trouble. Champ, that Lacey girl wasn't laughing at you; she was laughing with you. Girls like a confident guy with a winning smile. And introducing yourself is as simple as walking up to her, handing her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she comes with you to the school dance.

Don't gimme any of this mularkey about your looks or height. Girls will practically be chasing a handsome fella like you when you crawl outta your shell! By golly, you'll have to fend 'em off with a broom!

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I appreciate champ posters. It's such a clean meme.

Lmao at the filename

Last time I gave a girl flowers she laughed and ran them over with her car on the way out of the date.

"Champ, it's never too late to find the girl of your dreams. You've just gotta develop a backbone, crawl outta that thick, stubborn shell of yours, and make the first move. And doing that is as simple as looking her in the eye, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her you're not letting go until she accompanies you to American Bandstand. Be confident and put your name out there!"

"Who knows? She might be that special gal with whom you'll have kids someday. And having kids is important because it passes on the family genes, carries on the family legacy, and ensures that someone will be there to take care of you when you get old. Heh, when you have kids of your own, you'll be giving them this exact same pep-talk."

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We have a long lineage of health problems, and you're a fucking kid's dentist. This family has no legacy.

"Champ, meeting girls is as easy as walking up to them, giving them a bouquet of flowers, and refusing to leave their sight until they accept your invitation to American Bandstand! But first, you need to understand the importance of a hard day's work, Champ. I'll drive you around town to look for a job, and we won't turn back until someone hires you on the spot! It's as easy as going up to the manager and giving him a firm handshake. Heh, girls will practically be chasing you once you get your first paycheck!"

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Are boomers playing easy mode all this time?

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Thanks, Jow Forums dad. I get mad cooch thanks to your advice. The secret is in the handshake

And never letting go until they say yes.

Post some handshake tutorials

youtube.com/watch?v=Cjyp1r-3xqs

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Ok dad, I showed some backbone and did what you told me, Lacey just laughed when I asked and I tried laughing too and she laughed harder and walked away, I just don't know pa my anxiety is just too much after that

Quitters never win, and winners never quit, Champ! When I was your age, we were facing our cross-town rivals over at Allentown Prep. They were the best team in the entire state, and they had this monster of a defensive end: A huge fella by the name of Chet Anders. He was 6'5 and 260 pounds -- or he was until I dove at his knees on a cut block and took him out. Sheer luck it took the paramedics 15 minutes to get him to stop screaming. And that was with the scouts from Alabama and Notre Dame in attendance. Last I heard, he leapt off a bridge after he couldn't even hack it in Hacwamanee Community College as a third-stringer.

The point is that you've gotta grab life by the horns.Girls like a confident guy with a winning smile. And introducing yourself is as simple as walking up to her, handing her a bouquet of flowers, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her that you're not letting go until she comes with you to the school dance.

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A few years ago my dad told me female cashiers at Publix were telling each other how cute I was. I didn't hear anything like that. May have been him trying to get me o talk to girls.

"That's because they are, Champ. You can get any one of them if you tried. The only thing holding you back is you, Champ. You've just gotta develop a backbone, crawl outta that thick, stubborn shell of yours, and make the first move. And doing that is as simple as looking her in the eye, giving her a firm handshake, and telling her you're not letting go until she accompanies you to American Bandstand. Be confident and put your name out there!"

"Who knows? She might be that special gal with whom you'll have kids someday. And having kids is important because it passes on the family genes, carries on the family legacy, and ensures that someone will be there to take care of you when you get old. Heh, when you have kids of your own, you'll be giving them this exact same pep-talk."

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Me too user. I know it's a meme but fuck i miss having a dad

Give me your dad and I give you mine


>angry all the time
>never said anything positive to me
>was not fun
>fat
>cheated on my mom
>had a second family
>divorce happens

I feel for you! Don't give up because now you can be the father you never had