Be me

>be me
>mummy's 450lb bubbly, bouncing, baby boy
>wake up one morning, jerking violently awake
>angry, I was in the middle of a dream about my waifu's big mommy milkers
>fuckingbullshit.webm
>I resign myself to the light of day filtering in through my grimy windows
>that filthy whore hasn't fucking cleaned them, probably drinking grown-up apple juice and slacking off
>gaze over at calender, my waifu gazes back
>something else gazes back
>it's tendie tuesday, that means as many tendies as I can handle and no GBP cost
>frantically, I try to roll out of bed, my midnight poo poos shifting in my big boy diaper
>a mighty fart allows me to complete the roll
>rip off big boy diaper and pour some of the contents of my piss and shit jugs over my chest and tummy, allowing me to gracefully glide down the hallway
>graceful.png
>hear tv on
>mommy's probably not even preparing the tendies for my arrival, lazy bitch
>decide to teach her a lesson
>deftly weave around the end of hallway and into living room
>hear weird noise
>mommy brought home a new daddy
>unacceptable.rar
>poopoo out of anger, readying myself to fling the poopy projectile at this invader in my domain
>"DADDIES OLD AND DADDIES NEW, I'LL END YOU NOW YOU FILTHY J-"
>I'm cut off by another chant
>"I will not break, I shall not bend, you filthy neet, you've met your end"
>Impossible, I'm the only one in this house that has a rhyme scheme
>new daddy gets up
>tall, muscular chad
>new daddy walks towards me with a menacing grin
>I scramble back as fast as my baby boy legs can take me, farting and shitting frantically to propell myself away from this creature
>"I ate all your tendies, user"
>no
>it can't be

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>he moves yet closer
>"M-MOMMY, SAVE YOUR BABY BOY FROM THIS FUCKING CHAD"
>chad laughs as he walks closer and mommy runs from the house
>his feet begin to leave black marks on the floor as he walks closer, his body heating up and burning away shit and floorboard alike
>"I was once like you, user"
>no, it can't be
>"YOU SPEW YOUR LIES AND YOUR UNTRUTH, NOW BABY MUST ACT QUITE UNCOUTH"
>I throw some of my toxic shit at this vile chad but it merely burns away before it reaches him
>he scoffs at me, and I begin to feel true fear
>"You really are pathetic, user. Imagine what you could become if you left home. Imagine what you could be. You could be like me, user"
>then I see them, his Rikka boxers
>"T-traitor" I sputter out between bouts of panic vomit
>he throws his head back and laughs, his boxers burning away to reveal a 15 inch thick cock, which becomes fully engorged
>a sword of liquid, molten shit manifests in his hand
>only I should be able to harness such power
>his eyes begin to glow with pure light
>"Join me user. Leave your racecar bed and come to the light."
>his voice sounds like it's coming from everywhere at once
>I cry, his radiance burning my flesh away
>"You have one last chance to be saved, user. Only one."
>I scream out in defiance, forcing myself to my bloated feet, scooping up handfuls of shit and bursting forth with my own aura of energy
>the house is now in ruins, more and more of it tearing away in the whirlwind forming around us
>I begin throwing my holy shit at this vile scum but he blocks it with his blade as though it takes no effort at tall
>he draws ever nearer and I can feel my power fading
>he's just too strong
>his massive erect cock grows and twists like a serpent, smashing me in my big round tummy
>the wind is completely knocked from me and I fall to my knees, aura finally failing
>tears form in my eyes as I see the cum-crusted statuette of my waifu fly past in the whirlwind
>"I'm sorry, my love, I failed you..."

>the robo chad takes a step towards me, his python cock slithering around my neck and hoisting me up
>"I can't imagine still wanting to fuck an anime girl. I'm glad I'm not as pathetic as you any more."
>he couldn't have been like me, he never could have been
>with one last defiant scream, I grab a big dollop of my foul fecal fondue and shove my sausage fingers into this pretender chad's face
>he drops me for a moment, screaming in agony as the light from his eyes is dimmed by my shit
>using the last of my strength, I manifest a shit dagger
>I strike for his ribs with the strength of all those brethren who have gone without tendies because of menaces like him
>I shall strike him down for them
>no more shall his kind terrorize us with stories telling us "you can improve yourself, guys"
>no more shall they try to force their good life decisions upon us
>my train of thought is cut off with my hand
>as it falls to the ground, blood gushing from the ragged stump, my shit dagger melts into nothing
>I feel the rage radiating off of this bastard as he brings his shit sword to bear above my quiver neck folds
>I close my eyes and accept my fate, a single tear falling from my greasy cheek
>the world is reduced to the sound of his blade falling
>then there is nothing
>for a time there is nothing but the void
>suddenly, a light
>I wade through the nothing like a majestic whale in a sea of dark
>I come through the light, everything's fuzzy
>I can hear a voice, it's faint
>as I finally feel myself entering the real world, the voice becomes clearer
>"Hey, you..."
>I blink the fuziness from my eyes and suddenly I see him
>"You're finally awake"
>I'm face to face with a scruffy viking-looking fucker
>title card
>Todd, you fucking asshole

I just got cancer from reading this

woof that was awful

>le lets make fun of autistic people xD
This meme was never funny and you have to go back

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aw hunny, I'm sorry if I made u feel personaly attacked
:*

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epic pasta!!! post it on r/greentext and r/4cham for le epic karma points le kind stranger ;)

hunnee pie, I don't use reddit but you can project as much as u like

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based and scat pilled desu senpai

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Hey there was some amount of effort put into this and I appreciate that. It was a waste of time to read, no doubt, but thanks user.

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>if you ever dont like something it is because you feel personally attacked
I guess people who dont like the color green feel personally attacked by it or something

clearly, sweetee. ur pobably just some sort of incel loser or something

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How long did it take you to write this up goddamn

go back to where you came from, you swine
sage

6 hours, I just wanted to be liked

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Entertaining/10
Much more effort put into it than the average good boy story

goddamn that was a ok tendies post

thanks for the lolz and the pasta

I like it
originigger

Thanks, frens. Your positive feedback brings a measure of joy to my life.

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i decalre this thread wholesome and good.

good night frens

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Nice greentext user, it got pretty weak in some parts but the story telling its good

it was a good read op

Was funny, thank you user

dis now is my pc background thanks, its awesome

mfw no one is falling for this kikes bait

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>Honey
>Sweetie
How about die?

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Go away, fucking redditor
oregano