>be me
>mummy's 450lb bubbly, bouncing, baby boy
>wake up one morning, jerking violently awake
>angry, I was in the middle of a dream about my waifu's big mommy milkers
>fuckingbullshit.webm
>I resign myself to the light of day filtering in through my grimy windows
>that filthy whore hasn't fucking cleaned them, probably drinking grown-up apple juice and slacking off
>gaze over at calender, my waifu gazes back
>something else gazes back
>it's tendie tuesday, that means as many tendies as I can handle and no GBP cost
>frantically, I try to roll out of bed, my midnight poo poos shifting in my big boy diaper
>a mighty fart allows me to complete the roll
>rip off big boy diaper and pour some of the contents of my piss and shit jugs over my chest and tummy, allowing me to gracefully glide down the hallway
>graceful.png
>hear tv on
>mommy's probably not even preparing the tendies for my arrival, lazy bitch
>decide to teach her a lesson
>deftly weave around the end of hallway and into living room
>hear weird noise
>mommy brought home a new daddy
>unacceptable.rar
>poopoo out of anger, readying myself to fling the poopy projectile at this invader in my domain
>"DADDIES OLD AND DADDIES NEW, I'LL END YOU NOW YOU FILTHY J-"
>I'm cut off by another chant
>"I will not break, I shall not bend, you filthy neet, you've met your end"
>Impossible, I'm the only one in this house that has a rhyme scheme
>new daddy gets up
>tall, muscular chad
>new daddy walks towards me with a menacing grin
>I scramble back as fast as my baby boy legs can take me, farting and shitting frantically to propell myself away from this creature
>"I ate all your tendies, user"
>no
>it can't be
Be me
>he moves yet closer
>"M-MOMMY, SAVE YOUR BABY BOY FROM THIS FUCKING CHAD"
>chad laughs as he walks closer and mommy runs from the house
>his feet begin to leave black marks on the floor as he walks closer, his body heating up and burning away shit and floorboard alike
>"I was once like you, user"
>no, it can't be
>"YOU SPEW YOUR LIES AND YOUR UNTRUTH, NOW BABY MUST ACT QUITE UNCOUTH"
>I throw some of my toxic shit at this vile chad but it merely burns away before it reaches him
>he scoffs at me, and I begin to feel true fear
>"You really are pathetic, user. Imagine what you could become if you left home. Imagine what you could be. You could be like me, user"
>then I see them, his Rikka boxers
>"T-traitor" I sputter out between bouts of panic vomit
>he throws his head back and laughs, his boxers burning away to reveal a 15 inch thick cock, which becomes fully engorged
>a sword of liquid, molten shit manifests in his hand
>only I should be able to harness such power
>his eyes begin to glow with pure light
>"Join me user. Leave your racecar bed and come to the light."
>his voice sounds like it's coming from everywhere at once
>I cry, his radiance burning my flesh away
>"You have one last chance to be saved, user. Only one."
>I scream out in defiance, forcing myself to my bloated feet, scooping up handfuls of shit and bursting forth with my own aura of energy
>the house is now in ruins, more and more of it tearing away in the whirlwind forming around us
>I begin throwing my holy shit at this vile scum but he blocks it with his blade as though it takes no effort at tall
>he draws ever nearer and I can feel my power fading
>he's just too strong
>his massive erect cock grows and twists like a serpent, smashing me in my big round tummy
>the wind is completely knocked from me and I fall to my knees, aura finally failing
>tears form in my eyes as I see the cum-crusted statuette of my waifu fly past in the whirlwind
>"I'm sorry, my love, I failed you..."
>the robo chad takes a step towards me, his python cock slithering around my neck and hoisting me up
>"I can't imagine still wanting to fuck an anime girl. I'm glad I'm not as pathetic as you any more."
>he couldn't have been like me, he never could have been
>with one last defiant scream, I grab a big dollop of my foul fecal fondue and shove my sausage fingers into this pretender chad's face
>he drops me for a moment, screaming in agony as the light from his eyes is dimmed by my shit
>using the last of my strength, I manifest a shit dagger
>I strike for his ribs with the strength of all those brethren who have gone without tendies because of menaces like him
>I shall strike him down for them
>no more shall his kind terrorize us with stories telling us "you can improve yourself, guys"
>no more shall they try to force their good life decisions upon us
>my train of thought is cut off with my hand
>as it falls to the ground, blood gushing from the ragged stump, my shit dagger melts into nothing
>I feel the rage radiating off of this bastard as he brings his shit sword to bear above my quiver neck folds
>I close my eyes and accept my fate, a single tear falling from my greasy cheek
>the world is reduced to the sound of his blade falling
>then there is nothing
>for a time there is nothing but the void
>suddenly, a light
>I wade through the nothing like a majestic whale in a sea of dark
>I come through the light, everything's fuzzy
>I can hear a voice, it's faint
>as I finally feel myself entering the real world, the voice becomes clearer
>"Hey, you..."
>I blink the fuziness from my eyes and suddenly I see him
>"You're finally awake"
>I'm face to face with a scruffy viking-looking fucker
>title card
>Todd, you fucking asshole
I just got cancer from reading this
woof that was awful
>le lets make fun of autistic people xD
This meme was never funny and you have to go back
aw hunny, I'm sorry if I made u feel personaly attacked
:*
epic pasta!!! post it on r/greentext and r/4cham for le epic karma points le kind stranger ;)
hunnee pie, I don't use reddit but you can project as much as u like
based and scat pilled desu senpai
Hey there was some amount of effort put into this and I appreciate that. It was a waste of time to read, no doubt, but thanks user.
>if you ever dont like something it is because you feel personally attacked
I guess people who dont like the color green feel personally attacked by it or something
clearly, sweetee. ur pobably just some sort of incel loser or something
How long did it take you to write this up goddamn
go back to where you came from, you swine
sage
6 hours, I just wanted to be liked
Entertaining/10
Much more effort put into it than the average good boy story
goddamn that was a ok tendies post
thanks for the lolz and the pasta
I like it
originigger
Thanks, frens. Your positive feedback brings a measure of joy to my life.
i decalre this thread wholesome and good.
good night frens
Nice greentext user, it got pretty weak in some parts but the story telling its good
it was a good read op
Was funny, thank you user
dis now is my pc background thanks, its awesome
mfw no one is falling for this kikes bait
>Honey
>Sweetie
How about die?
Go away, fucking redditor
oregano