Anons who have dated before

Female user here
I really want to understand how the male brain thinks after a break up
My semi normiefag bf dumped me because I was "too much"
If you were a dumper before what was your feeling 2 months after your breakup? Do you regret it or want your ex back?
Sorry for normieposting

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>sorry for normieposting
if you're so sorry then get the fuck off my board, roast

Not male but I can tell you. I am highly intelligent, socially.

He meant that you are a crazy bitch and probably tells that to his friends too. He'll miss you once his dick starts itching again.

>If you were a dumper before what was your feeling 2 months after your breakup?
I felt fantastic. Freedom was almost intoxicating.
>Do you regret it or want your ex back?
No and no.

never had a relationship but i would think it'd depend on the exact reasons. maybe some guy just wanted to fuck but le wamen was convinced it was a relationship, in that case, the guy would have no regrets. if it was something where they did have mutual feelings but one didn't want to deal with the other's issues, i could imagine they'd regret it down the line.

I never regretted it but I broke up for the opposite reasons. One girl cheated on me a ton, two girls neglected me and never talked with me or spent time with me.
I definitely dont want any of my exes back. I've only gotten needier and clinger with time so I'd just end up more and more hurt

>Not male
>highly intelligent
The lies girls themselves. You can only choose one roastie!

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>My semi normiefag bf dumped me because I was "too much"

He doesn't want a codependent relationship. How hard is it to understand?

>The lies girls themselves
Excellent post user

Honestly not that different from that of a female, if you cared about the relationship and thought it was fixable you will certainly going to give it lots and lots of thought

I do t break up with people, I'm a clingy needy virgin, so its impossible to compare
I wish I had that

Male here, just broke up with my gf about a month and a half ago.

>If you were a dumper before what was your feeling 2 months after your breakup? Do you regret it or want your ex back?

My feelings now? Grief comes and goes, and I am caught between whether or not I think it was for the best or not. I think I want her back, but I also don't miss the stress and anxiety I felt when I was with her.

I'm probably a bad example as we had a clean, mutual, and friendly breakup. I don't have any feelings of resentment or anger towards her. I honestly wish her the best. But the thought of her being happy with someone else makes my heart physically spasm in pain

We broke up because we just kind of grew apart and we both recognized it couldn't go on. We still love each other.

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You mean the Chad brain. Ask on /soc/. A robot would be happy as fuck to get a gf that's "too much" i.e. actually likes him and wants to spend time with him.

I've dumped/ghosted every girlfriend I've had since my first in 7th grade. Not because I want to but because I have to. The ones that are too much are the ones that want the most of you too often. You don't miss them too much, but you do miss the companionship.

Ive never broke up with a girl. My ex dumped me.

all my exes have broken up on friendly terms.
I miss them for the first month or so and want to get back together with them but I feel like that would be unfair on them. after about a month I would have moved on though. I've still been physically attracted to them and would fuck them at the drop of a hat though.

>after about a month I would have moved on though
Literally how? I didn't move on from my last ex for about 15 years. Then when I finally did, the new one just strung me along for almost a year to reject me, and I'm not over that for a year now, and won't be for another 5+ years at least.

I broke up with a girl who cheated on me multiple times and used me for money. Even though she treated me like shit, I still love her and find myself missing the good times over half a year later. I hate how much of a cuck I am. I just want to forget about her so I can be available to someone else.

Depends on the girl and what she meant to me and how the break up went.
Maybe I get colder the older I grow.
In my teens I cried like a bitch.
In my 20's I stopped giving a fuck and actually felt happy to be rid of her.
Seeing as how he said you were "too much" he's probably happy he broke up with you.

>Female user here
Right.

>I really want to understand how the male brain thinks after a break up
Do you mean feels or rationalizes? Either way it doesn't seem very intelligent to assume you can generalize safely.

>My semi normiefag bf dumped me because I was "too much"
I see.

>If you were a dumper before what was your feeling 2 months after your breakup?
Mostly I've felt disappointed, but when I have had to end relationships it was because I was given no other choice. So my main emotion is regret in terms of the fact it didn't work out the way I'd have preferred. This is a selfish emotion that I've worded in the past as "I wish I'd never met you. It turns out you are someone other than who I thought you were. The person I began our relationship with doesn't actually exist and was only a fantasy in my own mind. It was a mistake."

At the same time I feel regret/remorse for having had to bring harm to both myself and my partner. I wish ultimately that despite things not working out as anticipated that I had the capability to pull through and turn the relationship into a rewarding experience for both of us. This is not a selfish emotion.

>Do you regret it or want your ex back?
I guess I've already answered this. No, I've never wanted to return to a failed relationship. Of all the relationships I've ever had in my lifetime so far I would never return to any of them if I were given the chance.

>Sorry for normieposting
Sorry for normieanswering.

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I don't know. I manwhore it up on the internet and try to talk to as many girls as possible. I just did whatever I could to distract myself from thinking about them. I wouldn't say i'm completely over them, and I probably would date them again despite knowing it wouldn't work. but I also want to say that's just me remembering the good times I had with them too.

I was kind of in a "bf/gf" relationship with a fat girl before. I was very lanky, she was very fat, which I did not like so I had to dump that shit. Not to mention, she had daddy issues and a history of being edgy with cutting and shit, so I knew not to fuck with that crazy shit. The last time I saw her was when I was at the gas station and she got in line behind me and started touching me and talking to me. I just did autistic yes/no answers and waved "bye" at her as I left. When I went to pump my gas, I saw her and her cute chubby friend looking at me and talking, not sure what was up with that but whatever.

I also dumped a girl who didn't want to fuck. I had talked to her for three months and I finally just flat out said "are we gonna fuck or not". She got all bitchy and said we're "just friends", which when I look back, just means she was just using me as an emotional tampon and as an orbiter. I told her it is impossible for boy and girl to be "friends" so I stopped talking to her. She didn't seem to be affected by this, neither did I.

I ALSO dumped another girl who was non-white. She sucked my cock and was getting really fucking clingy. She was cute, but I don't get serious with girls who suck my dick after only knowing me for a week. Bitch spammed my DMs for a week afterwards, it was pretty funny. Also, she's not white and I'm not gonna have any mutt kids, so good riddance.

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>I don't know. I manwhore it up on the internet and try to talk to as many girls as possible.
How can you bring yourself to do that and where would you even find them? When I like someone I literally can't talk to anyone else.

Jow Forums is where i found them. as for how, because I hate myself. despite the one instigating it, it still crushed my fucking heart both times. I would get shitfaced daily for about a week straight after and just add randoms to talk to. I would only last about a day before ghosting them anyway. none of them went anywhere.
I'm not cut out to be in relationships honestly. I despise myself too much and don't think i'm good enough. it has a fairly serious toll on my mental health and makes me untrustworthy of people that say they like me.

>The person I began our relationship with doesn't actually exist and was only a fantasy in my own mind.

Another way to phrase this is: "You don't meet my standards for a half-decent human being."

>My semi normiefag bf dumped me because I was "too much"

self explanatory

>If you were a dumper before what was your feeling 2 months after your breakup? Do you regret it or want your ex back?

felt great actually, dating a very smart cute feminine girl sharing good quality time (better than ex)
No regrets at all, what goes to the trash then goes to the landfill.

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fuck off originallly original

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How bad was the breakup?

Part of you always regrets it if you cared about somebody. They show up in your dreams. 2 months in is pretty bad. A year later is realistically when recovery starts

>Guy gets broken up with
He will be a literal trainwreck of emotions for months

>Guy does the breaking up
Very likely he never really cared or wasn't particularly invested in the first place

That's just how it is

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I was miserable and lost my social circle. Then I kinda got over it but still held onto some resentment. Later, she seemed like she was interested in getting back together and complained about missing our conversations. I really didn't want to get back together, though. It already failed once, right? Nothing about me had changed.

Not sure that helps you, though, since she dumped me not the other way round.

i dont know how old you are, but im just gonna leave this here
> aimbait#8550
overall, after the breakup i felt regret, than happiness, as she was a fucking mental mess and a lot of work. i still hope shes doing alright, even though her brother did a hero

this

i've been off and on for 2 months with someone who was my best friend for 3 years. about 3 days ago we finally are ""done"", she's blocked me on everything. i didn't get out of bed today.

it would take a lot for me to dump a chick, if i did i probably wanted out of it from the start, honestly, unless i was horribly horribly wronged during the relationship.

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>highly intelligent
>social
fuck off retard, stop larping

OP, with all due respect, nobody is going to be able to answer this for you. How he feels is going to be incredibly dependent on why he broke up with you.

I broke up with my ex after about a year and a half of dating. I broke up with her because we were just heading in different directions, I didn't want to change for her goals, and I didnt want to make her change for mine, so I ended it. At first I was relieved, but slowly grew more sad and lonely as time went on. I never regretted it, I don't think I'd have been happy and she seems happier, now (I think shes been goin strong with a new guy, now? we dont really keep touch anymore), but I'd be lying if I said that I wish I hadn't broken up.

OP, its best you move on, for both you and for him. Figure out why he broke up with you, self-reflect and really figure out whether or not it was your fault, and to what degree it was, make the changes you need to be a better partner, and then aim a little higher.

That's all we can do, with our wretched lives.

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>make the changes you need to be a better partner, and then aim a little higher.
What changes do you need to make for someone to just talk to you online without ignoring you? I can already talk about any conceivable topic and contribute to the conversation and help people with anything they need help with.

You sound like you are trying to make yourself get along with people, which is different than finding someone you get along with, you feelin me? Have you also considered that your expectations might be off?

I think that just talking to someone about random everyday shit is basically the lowest expectation possible. Am I really wrong?

Was your "boyfriend" just a discord friend? If so, thats not a real relationship and i guarantee he feels nothing.

I'm not the OP, I just wanted to know where's the problem in just talking to people about things and developing a friendship/relationship, did Discord somehow ruin that? I can't figure out what I'm doing wrong.

Relationships (romantic or otherwise) aren't about talking about random shit every day though, they are about enjoying each other's company and bonding. You aren't going to get that by trying to act interested in whatever topic someone is saying. You should reflect a bit on what you'd want in a friend - do you want someone that'll only talk about things that you like, not because they are interested in it or interested in your interest in it, but because they just want to talk to you every day? If your answer to that is 'yes', you probably have a unrealistic idea of what friendships are, and if your answer is 'no' then I'm not sure why you think this is all it takes to grow a relationship with someone

that's why you need to be able to look at where the trajectory of the relationship is going and be the first mover. sometimes that's easier said than done, sometimes it's obvious. dumping a girl when things are going to shit feels fucking fantastic either way. last one I dumped turned into an alkie and got fired from her nice job. maybe the dumb slut shouldn't have unironically suggested we start going to swingers clubs. the fuck made her think I'd be cool with that?

it's been about a year now and aside from a couple of flings with brats from tinder I haven't had much desire to deal with women coz I'm so busy with other shit.

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What is the difference between what you just described and "enjoying each other's company and bonding"? Did you even read your own post?

Look at this:
THIS IS GOOD
>they are about enjoying each other's company
THIS IS BAD
>but because they just want to talk to you every day
It just seems like you have no clue what you're talking about.

And for the record, yes, I think that you're supposed to be able to have a conversation about your friend's/significant other's interests, and vice versa, literally how is that bad? Do you expect everyone to have 100% the same interests so that it's like talking to yourself?

Not really a dumper
It was a mutually agreed conclusion but the conversation was started by me

Both during and 2 months after the breakup I knew I was making the biggest mistake of my life and I've wanted her back ever since. I still dream about her every night and sometimes I wake up and have to throw up because the dreams feel so real and then I realize I'm back in this hellscape reality

It's been 5 years and counting.

How does his dick taste user?

Your combativeness is telling, user.

>What is the difference between what you just described and "enjoying each other's company and bonding"?
Bonding and enjoying company isn't the same thing as trying to talk to someone all the time. It means valuing the things they want in life, and appreciating them valuing yours. You bond by sharing close quarters, and being vulnerable (and responding positively to their vulnerability) and building trust. This isn't at all what you describe, it simply isn't. You don't sound like you're very socialized, user. People don't talk every day, why would they? You can talk everyday to people you're really close with, but you don't get to that point BY talking every day.

>I think that you're supposed to be able to have a conversation about your friend's/significant other's interests, and vice versa, literally how is that bad?
Yeah, you talk about them because you either share the interest, or you care about their interest. Here is the difference, outlined easily for you:
>talking about apples with your friend because you really like apples
>talking about apples with your friend because he really likes apples, and you appreciate his interest in them.
>talking about apples with your friend because you want to talk to him, and he likes apples, so lets talk about apples
If you can't notice the difference between these, then it is no wonder why you can't hold down a friendship, user.

>People don't talk every day, why would they?
Why wouldn't they? Why are you so autistic that you don't understand that people can genuinely like each other's company without having this ridiculous asperger list of things to talk about and specific times when it's allowed?

Sounds like you just want a magical orbiter who only talks about the exact things you want to talk about in the exact moment when you want to talk about them.

>can't hold down a friendship over the internet
>doesn't understand basic human interaction
>accuses me of being autistic
i hope you can realize your problems and fix them, user, truly

I dumped gf of 7 years for a girl I met on discord, This month will make it one year since the dumpening. Sometimes I feel reservations, ex would do whatever I wanted in bed, current is saving it until marriage and is really weird about sex. It's like starting over from square one, but I feel it's worth the investment as she's a virgin, the ideal state as there are no bad habits to unlearn and the whole pair bonding thing. We first met irl in October, have seen each other 4 times since then, already bought a wedding dress and shopping for rings. I will be a married man before the year is over
I think it has to be a pretty bad situation for a guy to dump a girl. I do hope she is doing well, but life has been a lot smoother since leaving her, and the new girl is a handful and a half so that's really saying something.

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Got any actual explanations then? A friendship is a two way thing, do you disagree?

I didn't realize you were such an expert on friendships, user! Is THAT the reason why you can't get people to talk to you?

Thanks for the "help" I guess, bye now.

I was being serious when I said that I hope you can realize your problems and fix them. You might feel like you have it figured out, but you clearly don't, because if you did you wouldn't be in this thread in the first place. Getting upset and defensive at people offering their input after asking isn't going to help you.

if he wanted you back, he'd be the one giving you a heads up
two months is a long time, he's got all the time in the world to rethink his choice of action, so just give up on him

Generally most people dont regret a break up especially after 2 months, he's probably moved on. But it may be different depending on how long you were together, how intimate you were, your ages and the probability and/or likelyhood he can find some as good or better than you. If he's a normie and you arnt than chances are he will find someone better suited for him.

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I'm glad you don't call yourself a fembot. Leave. You are a retarded normie and no one wants you here. is a much better board for your bullshit. Thank you.

Yes, I clearly think I have it figured out, this is why I asked for advice.

Dude you're just talking to some voices in your head, not to me. And yeah, that's pretty damn useless.

>two months is a long time
Highschool kid detected.
>after 2 months, he's probably moved on
That's sad as fuck. Why would you even be with someone you can "move on" from in 2 months? You didn't even have a real relationship then.

My gf said she just moved on but still wanted to be friends. When I tried to talk to her she never responded, even though she sent me a text asking if we could patch things up. She sent a text to a mutual friend asking what to do because she feels like she fucked everything up.

And here I am waiting months later for her to fucking respond to see if she wants to get some ice cream or donuts and catch up so that I can just have a friend in my life.

>two months is a long time
>Highschool kid detected.
>instantly accepts that 2months is a long time
are you autistic?

we're not talking about a two months relationship, we're talking about the relationship ended two months ago, how about you read the fucking OP before replying to random people you double nigger

Op here

DONT BE FRIENDS its no good
Usually the one who dumped will get manipulative
You'll always be wanting more and you'll get frustrated with no chance of moving on or getting back together

OP, stop smothering your partners and love bombing them. They probably felt overwhelmed and you more than likely have issues with codependency you need to confront moving on. Your ex more than likely did wrong too but you should focus more on yourself and improving yourself than beating yourself down and lingering on the "why" of things. He doesn't want to be with you, you're overwhelming to him and he doesn't want to fix it/commit to you anymore.

That's what I said moronicus maximus.

>OP, stop smothering your partners and love bombing them.
OP, don't EVER stop doing that (unless you're BPD and you'll just randomly stop when you flip a switch, in that case just don't get into relationships ever). That's the best thing a woman can do to a guy who actually likes her.

that's only bad against retards with commitment issues user
most men don't hate being told they're loved

Don't listen to this incel. There's a difference between excessive affection that's received with a warm heart and love bombing and smothering someone. I've been in multiple long term relationships and have learned the hard way that you need to gauge your partner's limits/your compatibility when it comes to affection giving/receiving post-honeymoon.

I don't think anything can really happen but I'm still hopeful that I can at least have a conversation with her.

>There's a difference between excessive affection that's received with a warm heart and love bombing and smothering someone.
Yeah, the difference is whether the guy loves you or is a retarded loser who finds you annoying because he barely even likes you but hey another hole is another hole.

Have you ever been real friends with her, or any other woman?

You can't really be friends with a woman, she will always have the same relationship dynamic with you that you'd have if you were romantic prospects, you'll still have to play the same dumb mind/attention games, except now you don't even get a relationship out of it. This is why women only have orbiters and fuckers, they can't do real two-sided friendships.

The thought of them happy with someone else is the primary reason why I have avoided relationships my entire life. Simple fact is whoever they are, they would be happier with someone else.

That's a terrible thing to think. I don't think anyone would be happier with someone else unless they were severely mentally ill so they were looking for abusive relationships or some really nasty sex shit, but can mentally ill people really be happy in the first place?

I phrased that badly, if you're the guy I was replying to, I didn't mean it to say they'd be better off with anyone but you. Sorry if it sounds like that I'm just sobering up.

My last and only attempt at dating was with a 5/10 autistic girl, we shared a lot of hobbies, but she was much too pushy on the topic of sex. I told her outright I wasn't a guy for that and that I am scared of sex because of my past. I felt incredibly uncomfortable and she just wouldn't stop, so I had to end it.

I "dated" a girl from /soc/ once but never IRL

I'm not, I'm just trying to tell you that it's a terrible self-deprecating thing to think of yourself like that. Don't do that shit to yourself.

I need a plave for my head. Some time alone. Most introverts do.

But dont worry. Your bf will come back eventually

This is true

But come on mate it doesn't take high social intelligence to figure this out, even my spergy shut in retard ass knew what was up right away

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2 months after I didn't think much about it.

I somewhat regret it, I mean it's done and in the past but if I had to go back I probably wouldn't have ended it just then. Not saying it would have lasted much longer, but I'd give it a bit more time.

If you dump a literal 2/10 annoying uggo who did nothing but rave about some autistic hobbies of hers all the time, it does feel great

But i never had the balls to break up with any decent looking woman even if they were abusive, waited for them to do it because I was honestly afraid I wouldn't find anyone better and would feel guilty af if were to dump them

Now I know better but imo it still depends

>believing shit on this board about muh virgins and "pair bonding" and implementing it into real life
>dumping your gf of 7 years for an e-girl
>trying to marry someone you barely even know just so you can fuck ASAP
>not seeing said person is using her pussy and her (supposed) virginity to coax you into putting a ring on it

you're a spectacular breed of retard and the consequences of your stupidity are going to come and fuck your ass with a 12 inch horse dildo in the very near future

Its really hard for a guy to give up steady pussy so whenever I have broken up with a girl I was at the point I never wanted to see her crazy ass again.

>being this much of a double decker nigger sandwich

not everyone likes to be fucking suffocated with the hysterical "love" of a crazy bitch

no normal woman or person for that matter does that and it rightfully creeps people out and turns them off

If you stress your boyfriend out and make him feel like shit, he isn't thinking of you two months after the breakup.

>not everyone likes to be fucking suffocated with the hysterical "love" of a crazy bitch
Well I do.

user, the difference is the guy's comfort level with excessive affection and that's about it. It has nothing to do with attraction, it's all about comfort and what they're used to. People have different attachment styles and excessive affection can come off as a bad thing. Maybe you should stop taking everything so personally.
I agree user. I used to be the type that suffocated people with love and it would always scare them off or cause them to feel overwhelmed with me setting a higher bar for love/affection for them in their minds. Some people just need normal relationships with boundaries.
Well you're just a lonely user so you're saying that now but if you were in a real relationship that progressed past the honeymoon phase, I'm sure you'd change your mind.

It was probably the best case scenario. It still hurts though.

Depends.

He probably wouldnt mind your company and had some good times, but if you gave him a hard time he probably feels relief.

He might be thinking of you, he might be happy that he's rid of you, hard to say.

I dumped a girl but we kept seeing each other for what its worth.

>user, the difference is the guy's comfort level with excessive affection and that's about it.
In other words whether he loves her or not.
>I agree user. I used to be the type that suffocated people with love and it would always scare them off
Sorry you've never been with someone who loved you I guess, why were you with them in the first place, big dick?

"Too much" either means you are clingy or overly emotional, or you give off a vibe that you expect a guy to be married for you to eternity within the first 6 months of dating, or it means he expects you to be a turbonormie woman who just sits around being bubbly all the time. There's too much variation in that phrase.

Women can indeed often be "too much," but all the smart and interesting women I've known were considered "too much" by their boyfriends who wanted them to be nice meek happy little girls who don't do anything a stereotypical happy bubbly girl wouldn't do. Even Jow Forums fags would do this, I never understood it. We spend all our time yelling about how normies expect us to conform and then, in all the cases I've seen anyway, we expect genuinely autistic or odd women to conform to a basic bitch archetype even if goes against the very core of their being.

Imagine thinking about love in the same way a fucking preschooler does who will assume you hate them and want them to die if you don't want to hug them one time

liking your bodily autonomy and some alone time, not wanting to be smothered constantly =/= "not being in love"

Nice strawman, you know very well no one's talking about legitimately crazy people here, what people are talking is "give me some space, I need to talk to my "male friend" until 4 in the morning" bullshit.

And why would you not want to hug your bf/husband? The only reason I can think of is that you have someone else's semen on you and you don't want him to smell it.

Literally nobody was talking about "give me some space I need to talk to my potential fuck buddy" until you brought it up

We were talking about love bombing and excessive affection

Also, sometimes people don't feel like being touched at all, by anyone, it's not that deep

Good luck treating others like toys that you can just grab anytime you like, I'm sure that'll work out great

>Also, sometimes people don't feel like being touched at all, by anyone, it's not that deep
Why? Unless you've been raped or some shit like that, this is not normal. If you have, I'm sorry for you, but that just means that you have to tell the guy beforehand so that he doesn't expect a normal partner.

I am a mentally sane person and I have zero problems with my gf hugging me at any point in time (unless it's a serious security hazard like driving at high speed obviously). It seems very unusual to have this issue.

Relief

Just think honestly about what you subjected him to whether that be your craziness, abuse, pain, emotional swings, whatever the hell you did to him. And think how long he stayed because he just wanted to be steady and cum in your holes.

Dude lol

Just because I am a private person who spends most of their time alone and sometimes wants a break from people and from being touchy feely even in a relationship doesn't mean i was raped

Good to know you can only have boundaries if you had a dick rammed up your asshole, apparently

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I'm exactly the same way though. Except I would never do that to my girlfriend who loves me and who I love. I think you people just don't get real relationships, you think everyone's just a random disposable Discord retard.

Serious reply among the shitposting.

My ex was emotionally abusive and a manipulator. I wanted to break up with her for around 2 months before I actually did, but didn't because I was scared she'd freak out on me, or attempt suicide or something like that. nothing like that happened, but now I feel like I should've maybe brought up how I felt about how she was treating me instead of just taking it and being stressed like a betamax.

I look at this thread and I think what the fuck happened to this place. I guess things change. I have nothing against OP and I'm not bitter but fuck me if you don't have enough places to complain about shit like this, do you really have to bring it here

I don't do meme ldrs or discord

And just because someone loves me it doesn't make them entitled to make me uncomfortable

I don't care if someone is my s/o or the fucking pope or the queen of England or whoever, if I don't want to be touched, they won't touch me

I don't know how bodily autonomy is such a hard concept to grasp