A bearded wizard allows you to modify your biggest phisical flaw. The catch is...

A bearded wizard allows you to modify your biggest phisical flaw. The catch is, the modified part will turn exactly the opposite of what it is now. So, for example if you choose to stop...
> ...being fat, you'll become VERY thin, slender-like
> ...having a tiny penis, you'll get a monster 11" dick
> ...being a manlet, you'll then be 8 feet
and so on.
Do you accept the deal? If so, how does your body change?

Attached: v8fXCTEQBiyPNLw1cBzQ_alan_moore.jpg (460x276, 53K)

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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinal_fusion
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What if have a noticeably fucked up walk? Does my walk become hyper-normal?

>What if have a noticeably fucked up walk?
That's not a phisical flaw. Why do you walk like that? Is there some phisical deformation that cause you to walk like a retard, like tiny bones or a fucked-up spine? You can change THAT.

I'm fat, being a skele is about 1000 times more socially acceptable so I'd take that deal in a heartbeat

brown eyes?

idk what the total opposite of that would be, any ideas?

I'm a fucking giant now. Badass.

>being a skele
What did you do with all the time you saved by writing skele instead of skeleton?

blow it out your ass bro

>idk what the total opposite of that would be, any ideas?
opposite of brown - a very dark color - is a very light color. Depending on how much the bearded wizard wants to be funny, you could end up being blind (white or very light-blue eyes)

I wish i had straight hair having curly hair and not knowing how to straighten it was the primary reason i was an incel in middle school

>having curly hair in middle school
holy christ how GAY you used to look? lol

>curly hair
opposite of this is not just "straight hair", it's having your hair so straight they are like porcupine spikes

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So my yellow teeth would become bright glow in the dark white? Introduce this wizard to me

i wish to stop being weak
i wish to stop being a manlet
i wish to not have a tiny peener anymore

>be american
>undergo weekly public shooting
>succesfully hide in the dark
>be happy about that and smile
>shooter see a flash of light and immediately kills you

>tfw have Pectus carinatum
>would probably get pectus excavatum
No thanks desu.

>> ...having a tiny penis, you'll get a monster 11" dick

how the fuck is this a flaw lmao

fuck it, hit me with this one, I'll quit my dumbass job and make porn for a living

>how the fuck is a 11" dick a flaw lmao
underage detected

how is dick size calculated. like is it reflected about the universal average (5.1 inches). so a 3.1 inch dick would result in a 7.1 inch dick?

I'll take the deal for increased IQ/mental processing speed
Pic unrelated

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i want all my mental flaws to be fixed. why is everyone so focused on their physical being when your physical being mostly reflects your mental being?

>how is dick size calculated.
no measure. You think you have a tiny dick and want to change that? BOOM, you now have a 11" penis

>your physical being mostly reflects your mental being
kek, imagine ACTUALLY believing this, like, not as a quick meme on Jow Forums, but for real in your life

what if i think i have a slightly below average penis

I have pretty shitty eyesight, if I take the deal do I get super sight or something?

Bad spine? What it gonna be? Unbreakable?

>I'll take the deal for increased IQ/mental processing speed
It doesn't surprise me at all, but I don't think you understood how this would work. You think your worst flaw is being a slow brain? Ok, now your brain is SUPER FAST... you'd probably turn in one of those savant retards that can do 843623847 to the 17th power in a few seconds but they are also retards that allucinate 24/7

>what if i think i have a slightly below average penis
The wizard does not care. A tiny penis get modified in a 11" dick. No negotiations

I'll take being 8 foot no problem, provided it isn't accompanied by medical issues.

>Bad spine? What it gonna be?
What does "bad" mean? Weak? Awry?

>provided it isn't accompanied by medical issues.
you'll keep living your life, but as a 8 foot tall person. If you have previous issues, you'll keep them. New issues? Well you can develop them as any other 8 foot person alive.

Scoliosis, nerve cramping.

>I have pretty shitty eyesight, if I take the deal do I get super sight or something?
You'll probably end up with being a 40/20 who can see EVERYTHING in your line of sight and around too. Good eh? But will your brain be capable of processing that?

Not exercise

dunno I have no idea how you freaks with shitty backs work, maybe just kill yourself?

Your brain would work so fast what time would stop for you. Yadda yadda, you get bored, then suicidal, and for other people it would look like you killed yourself in nanoseconds.

yep having a 12 inch donger dick is gonna make people hang out with you instead of avoid your loser robot ass.

Be glad whatever god you pray for not having a bad spine. It's a fucking torture.

>what would i end up becoming with these stats
you can only pick ONE. Can you read? Biggest flaw. Flaw. Singular. That means one.

You sure you meant to reply to ?

Than you become like one of those bodybuiders with insanely deformed muscles

I don't pray but I sure am glad I'm not you, Crookey

Nah i was thinking probably albino pink eyes with almost no natural melanin at all

>you'll get white eyes
>nah I'd probably get white eyes
A-are you OK user? You sure you don't want to ask for a functional brain?

I also have severe scoliosis, it's hereditary. I'd wish for a straight spine

>The wizard does not care. A tiny penis get modified in a 11" dick. No negotiations
guys this wizard seems kinda sketchy

I just asked to see his practicing sorcerer's license and he just growled at me

>I'd wish for a straight spine

A spine so straight you'll never bend again!

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spinal_fusion

How would a fucked up hairline work? I can't imagine that being reversed into a shitty way

>I can't imagine that being reversed into a shitty way

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I am too ugly. Make me extremrly attractive please.

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>wont exercise
>he even saves energy by writing incomplete words
Irremedable fatass

>Make me extremrly attractive please
As you wish

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thats not attracitve though

I erase my Gilbert's syndrome and now what? I just don't look fucking yellow anymore

What happens when liver processes birilubin TOO MUCH? Think about it and try not to be a retard for once.

I fucking die probably. Although that's not necessarily bad

ok, but because attractiveness is subjective, the wizard transforms you into what he perceives as the ultimate attractive person, and he just so happens to have a fat fetish

Sure I'll take the magnum dong so I can finally put all these monster condoms

>the wizard transforms you into what he perceives as the ultimate attractive person
false, he uses external standards and turns user into

What about not wanting to have cystic acne? Does my skin become extremely clean?

I'm balding so do I get extremely long and beautiful thick hair? Sign me up mr.Aris.