I just realized recently that nothing in life actually fills me with any happiness. Literally nothing. No my job, not my hobbies, not the stories I read.
No wonder I am so damn depressed. There's a huge hole in my heart and it's been devoid of things for a while. I have no meaning in my life. No purpose driving me from point A to point B. And no matter what I do nothing ever fills that hole. Nothing gives my life any meaning. I have done charity work out the ass. I volunteer at my local animal shelter regularly. But that doesn't make me feel anything. It doesn't fill me with accomplishment or pride, it doesn't make me feel as if I'm in service to something bigger than me. It just is.
And it's taking its toll on me. Every day I just want more and more to give up. I can die, I don't care. What am I supposed to do? How do you find meaning when everything is inherently meaningless? What's the point of even doing anything other than in service of my own survival? Because that is all that drives me, my will not to starve in the street.
save up money take time to find yourself have sex, incel
Andrew Wood
I'm not even interested in sex. Like I fap and stuff but honestly if a 10/10 girl came up to me and said lets fuck I'll do anything you want me to I don't even think I'd care enough to do it. Sex just bores me. It seems stupid and irrelevant, just a waste of my time.
Caleb Wilson
Have you considered getting treatment or is that not possible in your situation? Sounds like some serious depression/anhedonia. It can get better OP, don't give up.
Happiness is not a thing you can find somewhere or get from something it comes from within you. You made up a funny little story in your mind about there being none and now you believe so this is your reality.
Eli Rodriguez
I visit a therapist regularly. But there's only so much she can do. I've told her pretty extensively about it but her answer is as good as mine. She can't give meaning to my life, only I can. I've been on and off depression meds but it's never done anything noteworthy.
It's all just so... pointless. Everything just feels completely pointless.
If there was a point to life you would be here complaining about how you are just a cog in the machine unable to choose your fate.
Jonathan Nguyen
I mean it's not that I'm never happy. I find happiness when I write, when I play vidya, when I take my dog for a walk. But it's all very fleeting. The second I put my controller down, or stop typing that happiness evaporates instantly. And fleeting happiness just doesn't push me forward. I'm not one of those people who finds meaning in chasing after positive feelings.
Like I said it all just feels futile and pointless. Sure I could buy another video game and that'd probably make me happy for a while. But what's the point in the end?
Carter Thompson
Well see you are trying to chase this feeling but never realize that you yourself are the one that decides when you get to feel it. It always comes from within not from the external thing. Unless you realize this you will forever be an npc chasing good feelies.
If meds are not working, maybe ECT or some other treatment would be an option? I don't have any experience with it, but apparently it's an effective treatment for major depression. Good luck OP, wish you the best.
The problem is I've tired commiting myself to something more... static I guess. Things like volunteering and the like. But that doesn't really fill me with anything either. What I need in my life, I think, is some sort of meaning and purpose. Because otherwise I'm nothing but a machine doing the motions of a man.
Nothing that my therapist hasn't offered to me already. Most of it is just talk therapy which is fine and all. There's just little she or anyone else can really do. No amount of therapy will give me meaning in life.
Julian King
Start studying physics and try to understand the universe at the deepest level.
James Hughes
have you tried making a good fren or a hmm.. gf if it's possible?
Gabriel Russell
>start up a videogame >realise nothing in my life will be different when i stop >close the videogame >repeat for any and every hobby in my life If you figure out how to beat this OP, let us know
Aaron Flores
Sounds like you need some lasting purpose. I understand what you mean, little activites like gaming can be fun for the moment, but there's nothing left afterwards. Do you have close bonds in life? Close friends, relatives or a relationship?
There are two things that matter in life: pleasure and the ego.
Feed your pleasure through art, music, video games. Feed your ego through hierarchy, art, intellect, helping people.
You will always be floating, attending to your needs because those needs force you to.
Accept the meaninglesness. Hehe. We all just float.
Tyler Nguyen
I try to learn a lot of things both in physics and philosphy. And the ironic thing is it actually makes the feeling worse. I feel so small and insignificant.
I would like either. I'm not much of a socialable person. Relationships are hard for me.
Exactly. I don't have anything long term to make any of it worth it in the end. I have stagnated basically. I don't. I'm pretty much a solo act.
you need to go so far as to start enjoying your suffering. I have no fucking clue what happened I guess, but thats's the closest explanation I have as to what made me fine.
Wyatt Reyes
Physics can help you understand this matrix known as universe and its timeless, impersonal laws.
Xavier King
Im struggling with these same things well less now but you really are just a machine going through the motions unless you take your life fully in your own hands. You can do anything but how you exist is in your hands. Before you do this you are no better than the average NPC-joe because everything you do is automatic decided by the unconscious processes that were created when you were a child. Problem is this requires alot of meditation until you start to notice these processes and able to change them to better ones.
Jordan Watson
It's just like... I've know that I'm completely free. There is no meaning in life except for the one I set for myself. The problem is there isn't a meaning that fits me. I don't really strive for family or friendship. Money isn't all that great to me. I don't believe in religion and works of charity just aren't the thing that fills me with meaning. So I'm at a loss of what will fill this hole.
I'm on a road trip with no destination. And in theory this means I'm completely and absolutely free. But instead I just feel helpless and uninterested. Everything just feels pointless. I'm like nature, I just am.
Levi Edwards
I guess I can relate then, sorry, I don't know how to help you. Close bonds are both my greatest desire, yet they seem impossible to achieve, it's like I fear them through years of mental struggles and feelings of inferiority, built a wall around myself and sealed off the entrance. Maybe there's still hope, I don't know. I'd rather hold on to it though.
If you were like nature and just were there would be happiness because happiness happens when theres no resistance but you have a lot of resistance. You havent accepted that theres no point you are resisting it and feeling bad.
Aaron Rogers
Literally me except for the charity part, I already knew that would do nothing for me. I've spent so many years looking for the answer to this and sadly I've found absolutely nothing. There's nothing and no one in this world that could possibly bring me any kind of long-term happiness or fulfillment.
I think this might be what chronic depression results in. You just eventually break and there's no fixing you for the rest of your life, you get a kind of permanent ahedonia.
Gavin Barnes
I guess so. I don't know how to let go of everything.I don't even know if I'd want that.
That's what I worry about. I worry this is going to eventually lead me to suicide.
Jacob Hernandez
maybe stop posting those gay ass shotas?
Justin Clark
Shit aint easy and feels unintuitive but from the little glimpses ive gotten it seems to be the way to go.
Oliver Powell
No, too many anime girls and lolis, shotas also deserve recognition
You're addicted to instant gratification, it's your problem. Life just isn't exciting, that's not the point of it. Other people aren't jesters and events don't happen to entertain you. It's a tough pill to swallow when you're addicted to escapism but it's reality. You need to learn to appreciate stability and serenity.
Benjamin Clark
I don't think I'm addicted to it all, just the opposite. I see the inherently futility in that which is why I don't go for it.
But stability and serenity just isn't enough to make anything worthwhile. I need something to make one day different to the next. And I don't mean like every day has to be exciting and interesting, just some goal to reach. Some mountain to work towards that makes getting up and doing the daily grind worth anything. That is what's lacking.
Gavin Nguyen
Nothing in life is worth effort. Either embrace that, or simply consume copious amounts of media. Mindless consumption & escapism are the only 'solutions' to the issue barring drugs. They're not solutions though, and will not fill you with an ounce of emotion. You'll remain hollow, forever. That's simply life.
Jayden Hughes
A load of bull, not everyone walks around as a hollow husk of a person. Drugs and escapism will aggravate the issue if anything. It's not realistic to want every day to be different, nor to expect everything you do to matter in ways that are obvious to you immediately. If you're looking for a hill to climb then you need to look for and commit to one, but if you keep this mindset you will most likely give up as soon as it stops making your heart throb.
Kayden Sullivan
I can identify with what all you guys are saying and it sucks man. It's gotten so bad recently, I have to actually force myself to play video games or watch anime now, it's ridiculous. I've stopped productive stuff like reading, drawing, or studying math. I exercise just to prove to myself that I want to invest in my future at least somewhat, but I feel like my social retardation will always prevent me from being something in the world. I don't want to try or hope for anything anymore.
Robert Edwards
I don't think I've ever felt anything tangible from hobbies or activities as a whole. If I had, I certainly can't recall it. From my perspective, life is completely devoid of any satisfaction, boring tasks that offer nothing yet demand heaps of effort. Anything beyond mindless escapism is subsequently worthless. Giving up is a blessing, provided you're able to overcome the limits preventing you from doing so typically.
Dominic Miller
Why are you here whining about it then? Just go give up on your miserable life, you seem very content with it.
Ian Howard
I've found that the only goal I can ever hope to achieve is setting an arbitrary number to a mindless task. This week, I will walk 14 hours. This month, I will listen to 30 new albums. This year, I will watch 104 films. Will these be meaningful or even enjoyable? Not particularly, but if it's a choice between working hard and being numb or self-indulgent autism and being numb, then I choose the latter. Take the easiest road possible and just wait to die while counting down the days.
