You are currently UNDER THE BRIDGE that is nearby the local WALMART

You are currently UNDER THE BRIDGE that is nearby the local WALMART.

>Who are you?
and
>Why are you here?

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Steve and I lost my wallet

Tyrone and I stole Steve's wallet

I am future me and I'm in extreme agony as I somehow survived my suicide attempt, I'll still die but instead of dying on the spot I lay there in constant hellish pain for hours on end.

I heard there was a prostitute here but turns out it was just a cop, gonna have to take my leave stealthly

I'm Kibuki Cat and I'm here to kill both of you. That wallet contains an top secret CIA plan which, if exposed, would lead to the destruction of all of the world's Kraft Mac&Cheese! This is a tragedy that must be stopped at all costs, so the Chinese government has sent me to end your lives, steal back the plans, and also pick up some Thick n' Creamy with shells.

I'm a lonely troll, I shout slurs and riddles that aren't thought out or remembered correctly.

I am jogger guy who is taking a water break in the shade of the bridge.

the furfag here to become an hero

grassman, here to graze on that good grass

I am John Kraft and I'm positioned in a nearby building with a SVD Draganov sniper chambered in 7.62x54mmR rounds pointed directly at your forehead, Mr. Kibuki Cat. I don't know why the Chinese Government put you up to this, but I need that information to be seen by the masses. You see, I don't have much longer to live, I was diagnosed with an untreatable rare form of cancer and I don't want my life's work being thrown to the highest bidder, I want people to enjoy my delicious Mac & Cheese: Thick and Creamy TM freely without having to pay unbelievable high fees set by the Jews who will inevitably tarnish my name long passed my expiration date all for their own greed and hunger for absolute power. For this, I'm sorry.

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Im there bc i am meeting a dom daddy from grindr to bareback me and poz my neg hole :)))))

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>Steve
You lost your wallet, and instantly you knew this could only be the work of one criminal organization: "The Bridge Gang". The bridge gang are notorious wallet swipers, and the moment you see Tyrone and his signature slicked back hair, you know he has your wallet.
>Tyrone
He's right.
>user
Despite having survived your suicide attempt, you are dipping in and out of consciousness. If you aren't helped soon, you'll die.
>Other user
You leave so stealthily that nobody even knew you were ever there. Slick.
>Cat
You spot your targets and the wallet beneath the bridge. All they can understand from you is a series of meows.
>Jogger Guy
Having sipped your water, you avert eye contact from the nearby confrontation. You are hoping they don't notice your sweat stains.
>Furfag
As you contemplate ending it all, you notice the group of people standing below the bridge.
>John Kraft
Locked and loaded.

forgot to attach image, here it is the original copy

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I love it user.
John Kraft, signing off.

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Theres a board for quests

>a unique thread is made for once
>get told to use a different board
fuck off faggot

Joe. I'm taking a massive shit

I'm Bandit Lord Bill and I own this bridge (through legal means), I also got a golden revolver to keep the law, because I am the law, and the law is me, who is the law, and the law, as stated before, is me.

JOE LIGOTTA HERE. THE MAN FROM BAHSTEN. I'M HERE TO CELEBRATE MY BIRTDAY WIT ALL MY FRIENDS. I BROUGHT A BIGASS FAWKIN CAKE

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Only one bigass cake? that's not the joe ligotti we know and love.

EH MY DOCTAH IS A PANSY BITCH N TOLD ME I HAD TO WATCH MY DIET SO IF YOU GUISE WOULD BE SO KIND, SAVE ME HALF THE CAKE FOR YOURS TRULY

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Just walking under to grab a 42oz of steel reserve, don't mind me fellas.

Tyler, im in rehab and i can no longer access the only thing in life that allowed me to escape from reality. Drugs were my last bastion of hope for a decent, mentally healthy life but now im at the bottom of this huge swiming pool, looking up towards being a normal person. Just like i used to, but now im without the one comfort i used to have. I feel like im drowning in examination and negative attention and i have no way to relieve this stress and anxiety. I hope tyrone kills me for my wallet.

>Joe
That is one fatty dump.

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>Who are you
I am [redacted]. An 18 year old dude.
>Why are you here?
I'm on a walk and getting AriZona. I'm crossing my fingers that I don't get jumped by either nazis, homeless people, or noggeurs. My town is 85% white, though, so negros aren't much of an issue. I'm going to exercise when I get home, watch anime, study japanese, and browse this site.

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