Im kinda in a weird spot. i would like to be an hero and deliver on my promise to stream it...

You aren't going to do it. If you pussy out once, you're going to pussy out every time. So stop thinking about it and start thinking about how you can get back on track.

i mean, they were right to, but i really was going to and still have the grill and charcoal in my car ready to go. just, cant stop thinking about things ill miss, what if someone pulls me out and i become more retarded, what if there is an afterlife. hard for me to work since there isnt really anything i want and i cant deal with people irl.
oh thats kinda crazy, thats what i ended up playing with a weed smoking guy yesterday. i tend to get a little too salty with fighting games since my inputs arent always the best.
quite optomistic of you, but my family actually supports me. they can suck, but i know they want me better and have tried hard to make that happen. i dont know why but i cant make myself want to be better and im being a terrible person by doing that. especially with wanting to do a fairly selfish act.
i could, but its one where i dont have criminal charges like i do now. the fantasy is already unrealistic, but with charges, its impossible in my eyes
i never was on track

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I'm new to all this. Criminal charges? Wtf did you do?

>anything i want and i cant deal with people irl.
no one wants to work, you can get neetbux or you just got to do it, dealing with people is hard but it gets easier with time and its not as bad as people here make it to be, just stick to yourself and get a comfy night job

Hey man if youre family isnt that bad maybe its because youre fulfilling a self destructive prophecy you came up for yourself because youve gotten into a dark place in your life. Yeah shit happens but you owe yourself more then to just roll over and give up

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>i could, but its one where i dont have criminal charges like i do now. the fantasy is already unrealistic, but with charges, its impossible in my eyes
Do you think this future version of you would be OK with you deciding to off yourself?

have a class b misdemeanor for getting caught with an 8th of weed and a felony for credit abuse. dont wanna get into the second one because im deeply ashamed and its pretty strong suicide fuel
for the anything i want, i mean like i have nothing i really want to spend money on other than alcohol and pot, but its not enough motivation. been thinking about night work, but doubt i could do any security type thing with charges.
i mean, i kinda am, but im doing it because im disgusted with myself and everything i do. that and i dont see the ceiling for improvement to be that high.
i believe everyone is entitled select Quit Game so probably. if you meant my ideal future self, probably not since i achieved what i wanted. however, humans tend to be greedy so i probably wont feel fulfilled. i think id be okay with it

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Well obviously not trying to pry but if your second more serious charge is your first time and you didnt goof off with to much money theres the possibility that itll get bumped down to a misdemeanor so theres that. And you seem pretty lucid besides being in a dark spot so I think you definitely have room to improve your life if you start to give yourself a chance

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why are you so sure there is a "quit game" option? what makes you think you'll actually escape your problems by killing yourself?

consider the idea that the universe is cyclical, and you'll always live this same life. is suffering for a long time followed by killing yourself an appealing thing to do for eternity? does this not sound exactly like what hell is?

it's an appealing idea because you feel like you'll be away from your problems, but you won't be. not because of the scenario i presented, who knows whether it's the case or not, but because you can only ever exist. there is no escaping this. your life is plagued by victimhood and passivity, and you think you'll be able to escape from it (a passive idea, mind you), but you won't be able to.

i just got a pizza if i remember correctly. what sucks the most imo is that it ruined my differed sentence for the pot charge which was supposed to end in 2 weeks. thanks, but its hard for me to fit in anywhere and when that happens i beat myself up pretty hard with kinda always feeds back.
funny because i was thinking of the cyclical idea yesterday. id be pretty cruel if that was the case, but if i did be an hero, itd at least cut the misery short. i dont think im a victim, i know i am the main problem and i dont want to continue that, much less pass on the terrible genetics i have.

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I mean sure it screwed with a charge and im not a lawyer but i can see your case getting played out in a more favorable way then leas favorable all things considered (its just a pizza this isnt like tax evasion levels of shit). And I think that you shouldnt be to scared of trial and error when it comes to life. Honestly man just realize that literally the only thing stopping you form working towards what you want is that irrational part of your mind thats just beating yourself up day in and out. Just gotta say shut the fuck up to that and start being the captain to your life again man

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>i dont think im a victim
sorry, victim might be the wrong word. inferiority complex might be a better term. you have an inferiority complex, and you have what seems to be an inclination to avoid problems instead of solving them. when did you become so avoidant?

i figured i wouldnt get more than a slap on the wrist for my pot charge since it was only like 3 grams, but i dont think they care much about how bad it actually was, just about if it was done. i dont think i can stop it, and if i could, i feel like id be like how i was when i was a child.
>when did you become so avoidant?
i wanna say freshman year in high school. i dont know why though. i just stopped with ap classes, stop doing work, but still got by doing bare minimum.

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Please Don't Kill yourself, if we could meet in rl or some other site even maybe I'd most likely be your friend and more. Please stay alive

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Hey user are you okay??
Do you wanna be friends i would be fine with talking to you

please listen to this user. i've been there, and i know everyone says this generic ass bullshit and it always feels demeaning and whatnot but you shouldn't kill yourself, you will always end up in a better place if you dont.

I was recently homeless for 3 years and lost my entire familly and everything I own including a game collection with over 500 titles, I thought I thongs were hopeless and I still do get suicidal, but right now I'm in an apartment, have a Nintendo Switch, slowly moving up, sometimes it can take years but please don't give up your life, I like to think you have a good heart and if we met in rl I'd probably even date you if you wanted or be friends at least

Hey man living like you were when you were younger isnt always a bad thing if anything going back and living like when you were younger means living like you werent in this fucked up headspace so youll be able to grow as a new person out of this ya know. The past will always be the past anyways no reason to let it spoil your future. You can definitely do this man.

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>i wanna say freshman year in high school. i dont know why though. i just stopped with ap classes, stop doing work, but still got by doing bare minimum.
why do you refuse to let go of your avoidant tendencies?

I don't think this way of trying to look at the psychology of someone and telling them how their mind works and how it should work has any evidence in reality. You're theorising about things by saying he's being passive or he has an inferiority complex, but what do those things actually mean? For one, the cyclical universe idea, ignoring the fact that he wouldn't be able to make choices with free will (although trying to influence him despite this will of course still have an effect on him, it's just that whether you influence him and how he's influence would be predetermined), if he were to cut his misery short, he would have less pain to suffer in each cycle. Whereas if he kept on going, suffering is guaranteed. And you call suicide an escape from his problems rather than a solution, but what is the difference? If he dies, he won't feel pain anymore. That's a solution. Calling it in an escape just appeals to the ego's sense of cowardice and bravery. Same thing with passivity. Calling his behaviour passive just makes him feel like he isn't truly in control of his life, which could inspire him to 'take control', and taking control to us is conditioned to mean prolonging life as long as possible and filling your life with values such as hard work. In the end, all behaviours only serve a specific purpose. Trying to psychoanalyse people and saying what their problem is without anything other than theories only alters their behaviour to serve the purpose of contributing to society, and in the greater picture, life. Contributing to these objectively doesn't mean anything greater than committing suicide, and at least if you die the suffering ends.

user, you're drawing way more info about me and my motivations from what i've said than info i've drawn about him, from him. what i've stated aren't psychoanalytical insights, but facts about his attitudes towards life, as described by him. he clearly describes himself as inferior, and he clearly avoids at least some problems, otherwise suicide wouldn't be an option.

im kinda concerned that i accidentally became an attention whore and that wasnt my intention. feel like posting any sort of contact info would, for one, solidify that argument, and two, harm people for no reason if i do end up going through with it.
tldr: just looking for casual conversation to keep myself side tracked for now
thats sweet of you fellow pokeposter, but i cant promise i will.
thanks for asking. the threads been keeping me distracted for the most part which is nice. just gotta make it till sunrise since cant be an hero with people walking around. how about yourself?
>you will always end up in a better place if you dont
i think could would be better than will
wow, youre strong user, i dont think i could do 3 years of homelessness and still keep my chin up. i wish i had a drive for life like you do. what drives you to keep going?
well when i was a child, i had pretty bad anger issues and was a general pain to be around. probably where my inferiority complex started, but id want to be self aware. thanks for the positive words though
i dont really have a reason to drop them. even when i had a qt gf i didnt stop and couldnt be a decent human to her because of it. something is just genuinely wrong with me which i think suicide is justified. this shouldnt be something that is passed on.
i think you read too deep into his post, but still fun to talk about.
>theorising about things by saying...
i mean, he got it. passivity being avoidant and you can draw me being overly self critical from how i talk about myself.
>cyclical universe... free will
well that would be the illusion. you would just think you do and those choices would line up every time.
>saying what their problem is
i mean, it is the internet so you probably shouldnt take things too heavily anyways, but he is definitely better at it than my father.

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i wish deeply that i could share with you the insights i've gained into life, so that you could intuitively understand that offing yourself is absolutely futile, but i don't think i can. all i can do is leave you this resource, and pray that you look into and take interest in it.
archive.org/details/yoga-vasishta

Speaking about self aware do you think that alot of people in the waking world are self aware or is it actually a rarer trait actually. I dont really know i used to always think that everyone was but sometimes it really doesnt seem like many people are. Your thoughts?

What drove me is just hoping things would get better, and I know this doesn't sound good but not being able to take my own life but look where i am now. I know society can keep pushing us down, please just try holding on as long as you can

i dont think it would be pointless. silly and selfish maybe, but choosing to quit doesnt seem futile in any sense of the definition. yoga type things have been very uninteresting and silly to me, but i thank you for taking the time of day and trying to help.
id say its a fairly uncommon trait that falls on a gradient. like you can have levels of self awareness. some can have none, some have a lot. when i was younger i thought no one did and that i was the only actual person in a world filled with robots. someone i met yesterday who was very generic, normie, and npc like, didnt really seem to get what he was actually doing. it was like he was following a command protocol and never really realized how he was acting was just completely off putting and uncomfortable to me. probably didnt care, but youd think if he realized what he was doing he'd feel at least a bit empathetic

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i suppose hope and not being able to select quit would be good motivation. i suppose only time will tell how long i end up holding out for

Pack your bags and go travel user.
If you want to die you have nothing to lose.
Who knows, you might even learn to love life somewhere.

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I think i can get down with the varying degrees part you brought up. I think that alot of normies act like theyre not a human and just an npc is because theyre probably so focused on trying to fit into what theyve been told is normal. Also one thing that i think is interesting is how fast some people will change their tune when they think they have an unpopular opinion which just reaffirms them acting like npcs

I'm not going to tell you not to do it since it's your life and I'd be wrong to make you suffer but I will say this, before you go through with it go to church.
If your already planning to die then it's not like you have anything to lose anyway. I won't tell you what kind of church or ask you to talk to the pastor. Feel free to slip in the back after service has started if you're feeling uncomfortable but atleast give it a try. There are countless stories of people in shoes similar to yours finding joy and new purpose after finding God and whose to say it can't happen to you too?
Just give it a shot, because even if no one else loves you Jesus still does. I'll be praying for you user.

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i am a broke neet who cant talk to people very well. on top of that i still have judicial problems to attend to now, but even when they are done, i dont like the idea of that being part of what people know about me
i agree with people being too focused on trying to be "normal" and that they just bury themselves. no one likes to be a social outcast so could be a biological thing to make humans cooperate with each other. its pretty good grounds for the npc meme
desu, based christfag. i opted out of christianity when i was 12 or so. to be fair i was preteen edgy, but i dont really subscribe to the idea of a greater power or at least one that cares. to keep it short as some civil (minus the name calling), just for you ill pop into a service. thanks for the thought user, its very kind of you

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I haven't said anything about your personal motivations; I'm just stating that there isn't any real basis for the info you say about him, so therefore there isn't any meaning to it. And there's no way you can get facts about his attitudes toward life; even a description by him isn't 'factual', it's just his perception of his own identity. It doesn't mean his perception is accurate. You can't get an accurate perception of someone's being. That's why anything psychological like avoidance problems and such are just guesses and frameworks that are constructed from a human's guess on how the mind works. And describing yourself as inferior and 'appearing to avoid problems' is in no way the only requirement for wanting to commit suicide. Where does the logical basis for 'avoidance issues' come from? What does it even really mean?
>i mean, he got it
Just because you think he got it it doesn't mean he got it. How could anyone get it? No one has a truly accurate understanding of how and why a person's mind works like it does.
>well that would be the illusion
Yeah.
>i mean, it is the internet so you probably shouldnt take things too heavily anyways
The reason why we shouldn't take things too heavily is because there's no way we can verify what people say is true or genuine. If we tried to have actual discussion, we could get more meaningful conversation.

Do the second thoughts come and go or are they always there and you aren't 100% percent set on ending it? Seems like a pretty major thing to do if you aren't fully committed to it.

lol, so skipping suicide was a bad idea. instead i got and am still getting high before my court date. i don't know whats wrong with me

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sorry forgot to respond, (but hey, new picture) because im baffled at myself. they only come when im about to do it. never any other time
forgot to add picture the first time baka

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Seems thread is dead. Thanks for keeping me distracted last night. Maybe we'll talk again someday

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good taste in pokemon user

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