I've been away for a few days working on my novel. What have I missed?

I've been away for a few days working on my novel. What have I missed?

If I were to publish this novel under my real name, you guys aren't going to doxx me, right?

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ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1513516/
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You've missed nothing. You'd be doxxing yourself if you told us what the book was called once it was published, I think.

Writing and reading novels is a waste of time.

Are you sure it's been a few days? I literally saw like three posts from you yesterday, all about porn addiction...

>Writing and reading novels is a waste of time.
It kinda is but at least you'll have something in your hands instead of wasting your time on the internet doing nothing lmao.

I don't remember.

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So basically this were the meds i have been on over the years:
Hearth med; inderal 40mg and procolan 5mg
for the condition of "Mahaim Fibre Tachycardia"
ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1513516/

Now the anti-depressants and anti-psychotics were these:
Risperidona 2mg, risperin 2mg, zodep 20mg, goval 3mg, inderal 40mg, rispolux 2 (3mg), leponex 25mg, foxetin 20mg, lanzep 25 mg, olapin 10mg, fluoxil 20mg, zoloft, and i think those were the ones, as far as my records go.
But again, it was a bad idea to drink everyday and do drugs while taking them.

>you guys aren't going to doxx me
I don't think anyone is crazy enough to go to Brazil to do something to you, even other brazilians.

That's a lot of drugs, fren.

Right now, I'm taking Inderal (propanolol) 30mg and I'm switching from Benicar to Captopril. Fuck high blood pressure.

Also, I really want to share my book with you robots, and I know nobody gives a shit enough to doxx me, but if I come to release this book, people will know who I am. But then again, it's Brazil, so walking outside your home is like playing Russian roulette.

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You fucked up yourself dude, you took to many drugs that fucked up your heart. That's on you.

What's the book about? I know you said it is a novel, but what's the basic of it? care to give a little bit of details?

Also, yes, you were on drugs 2 days ago talking about taking vysanse and having tough OCD and porn obsession and wanting to suck cock lmao. Lost a bit of respect.

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>wanting to suck cock lmao
>it was really him
lmfao only way he admitted it haha

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>What's the book about? I know you said it is a novel, but what's the basic of it? care to give a little bit of details?
It's two novels. One starts with a University Professor of Psychiatry of New York University, saying that he heard on the news an old friend of his went to jail for murdering his brother in a murderous rage. He went to prison, but this guy (Joseph, who killed his bro) commits suicide but leaves notebooks that were meant to be read and publish by his old psychiatry fren. The book is the collection of the notebooks found in his cell.

The second novel is about two very fucked up families, whose plot is way too long to explain right now, but the gist of it is patricide.

>Also, yes, you were on drugs 2 days ago talking about taking vysanse and having tough OCD and porn obsession and wanting to suck cock lmao.
I can't helpt it, I have OCD.

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Hey Ritalingaard, too bad about that blood pressure. It's 240mg-user here, I know that feel. Wasn't your book supposed to be some sort of Lolita-esque NEET life thing? Also, what are these family trees you're making? Characters?
>you guys aren't going to doxx me, right?
Does Brazil have a worse police state than the US? If not, you shouldn't worry about getting swatted or anything. Also, you could publish under a pseudonym.

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I would be more interested in reading the second one, the 1st one dont sparks much interest to me. But still, would read both, if you manage to publish them.

>I can't helpt it, I have OCD.
Just stop taking drugs that make you want to fap or make you horny and give you weird delusions, and if you take them, at least post as anonymous lol.

It still is a NEET lolita-esque thing. I've written around 70 pages so far, but I've been also working on another novel where there are three families filled with characters. I've written 30 pages so far, and I've found it much easier than writing my NEET 1st person thing because writing in 3rd person and not being that autobiographical (nothing happens in my life out of the ordinary) is much easier. In this other novel filled with characters I'm making, one of the sons kills his father. Noah and Rob are eyeing the same girl, Julia, and Noah kills Bob, but eventually Julia finds out she married a murderer and Bob gets so fucked by it and the prospect of spending the rest of his time in jail that he offs himself, but that's not the end of the story, because they have children etc. that I have written in paper and are spoilers.

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Why would you use your real name?

If your pen name is out of place enough then it might be the little push to convince someone to buy your book.

picture this: "(dumbass fantasy name)"

Written by: Cornelius Maximus

I unfortunately have to go to sleep now frens. Got a long day ahead of me of writing incessantly.

I'll make it available for you robots in the future, I promise.

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Wow, that sounds pretty cool. I hope there are twists and turns, I would read it. I hear you on the 1st person thing. I can write a few pages like that but it goes nowhere. Can you give examples of how you write dialogue, by the way? I would appreciate it because that's where I have the biggest trouble writing.

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Goodnight Kierk.

I've written like, 30 pages so far and there has been not a single line of dialogue because there are just so many characters I've come up with that I'm still introducing them. I have to talk about Noah, Veronica, Paul, and then the Sullivan's etc. and still haven't written dialogue, but I have a few drafts of dialogue that Paul will have with the Catholic priest he confides his secrets, anxieties and confessions with. Id share but I can't format non-acsii and I'm on my phone right now.

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Sounds good. A long introduction like that sounds daunting but I bet it will pay off. Have a nice sleep, then, Ritalingaard, night night.

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I can't quite sleep right now so I'll make one more post.

There's this part where there is a dialogue between Paul and his priest that I'll think you will particularly enjoy. The trouble though is that I already made the dialogue about his remorse and suffering and guilt but I haven't yet writtenwhat it is that he does to feel that way. It can't be murder because Noah already killed his own father, so Paul will have to do something really, really fucking bad to have fucked up this hard and he will keep pleading forgiveness to the Catholic Priest and I already made a dialogue about it. Now I need ideas as to what sorts of crimes he could commit to get such heavy conscience. Do you think that he aiding his brothers suicide would make him feel responsible for his death? I'm thinking about it. Anyway, he won't be punished by any crime directly, but later on in the story he gets heart failure from the doc and he knows he doesn't have much to live, and he believes Justice's being brought down to him from God. Then he repents, repents over and over again and I'll make a huge dialogue in favor of Catholicism, and by the end of the novel, Paul regains his health and is finally happy, havinge been ordained as a Catholic Priest.

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Hmm, you can connect this to Lolita in a way. Maybe the crime Paul commits is touching his niece; he became obsessed with her and after hurting her, she runs off and kills herself. Alternatively, Paul and his sister have been sexual since they were adolescents but she calls it off now that she's getting married and he rapes her while they're out on a boat in the lake one afternoon. She gets pregnant and decides to pass it off as the child of her new husband but they both live with immense guilt.

How come you wrote the dialogue and not the reason for the remorse? Don't you need a reason or something to write such thing? At least to make it better and relatable.

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>Alternatively, Paul and his sister have been sexual since they were adolescents but she calls it off
Dude what the fuck. This was what I had proposed earlier and was exactly what I was gonna write, but I called it off at the last because Veronica (Paul's sister) already is fucking her half-brother (Luke), whom they'll have an incest baby with (Conrad) that will be abandoned by their parents. Now, knowing the more giving and empathetic nature of Paul, who is now a priest (or an aspiring priest) he decides to take care of this baby forgotten by its parents, and eventually he grows up in a Catholic convent for orphaned children, with Paul visiting him regularly.

Perhaps Paul sexually abused Veronica, and precisely because of that, she starts thinking incest I'd a-ok, and then she fucks Like and gets the incest baby. Veronica kills herself because she has always been fucked in the head, but Paul never forgives himself for having abused her as a teen and not having taken care of her, because now he's riddled with guilt knwoing that his only two siblings are dead and he did nothing.

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It's because remorse is what I feel and know best.

Ok, I'm off to sleep for real this time. I even took zolpidem. Give me your suggestions and I'll answer all I can when I wake up.

Great minds think alike :^)

Your idea sounds better than mine. Veronica convinced it's okay, has the baby with Luke, grows up in orphanage, Paul becomes priest, helps raise Conrad, etc. I like the idea of Paul as a monk and Conrad ends up joining the same monastery. What do you think of that?
>only two siblings are dead
Wait, did I miss something? Who else is dead? Luke? Noah?

Im a bit confused myself since i reread it and it says one of them kills the father but then when they are both trying to get julia, noah kills bob and then julia's finds out? But he wrote that because of this bob goes crazy(?) i'm not sure anymore if im following up with the characters pr not.

Veronica kills herself because she was sexually abused ever since she was a child, she's disliked by her mother Miriam (already wrote her relationship with mommy was tough), she gets an incest baby, she also doesn't know what to do with her life cateer-wise and all this culminates and she offs herself. Now Noah is the guy who killed his own father, but the remorse is huge, and he's found out and so the prospect of being thrown into jail forever makes him feel so shitty he offs himself too. The only sibling directly from Miriam and Robert left is Paul, who decides to become a Catholic Priest, seeing that everything's gone to shit. Maybe he feels that the only way to redeem the sins of his family is religiously and he vows to take care of Conrad even though he's an incest baby. The fact that he did nothing directly to save his brother Noah and sister Veronica from killing themselves, and the fact he abused her himself during his teenage years add to his remorse and then the remorse existential dialogue, which just adds up to his desire to renounce the World by becoming a priest.

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Listen here vv. I've already written this part. Noah is dating Julia in Harvard, right? She's a 19 year old, blonde WASP looking young girl who's sexy as fuck. They're dating and fucking, but she doesn't like Noah as much as Noah likes her. Noah is crazy, head over heels for Julia, but Julia just goes with the flow. Then our friend Bob (Noah's father, who's like 46 years old) has to give Julia philosophy lectures and he keeps eyeing her every chance he gets and starts fantasizing about this 19 year old half his age, and eventually he insists so hard they go into a private place in their huge mansion and fuck.

Julai finds out she likes older guys better and likes Bob more than Noah. Then Noah finds out he's being cucked by his dad and goes on to kill him, but secretly (it's kinda complicated but he does it). Then Bob is out of the picture and everything is fun and games for a while, Noah fucking Julia etc. and they have a baby etc. but then after they've already married and had a child she ends up discovering that Bob's death was actually Noah's doing. So now Noah is fucked and is going to go to jail. He says "Fuck it. Idrather die." and kills himself, capitche?

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I'm high on Zolpidem right now lmao.

Ye makes more sense now, i was getting a bit confused.

So Noah and Julia have a baby? And Veronica and Luke have an incest-baby, Conrad, who grows up in a Catholic oprhanage? Will this be an epic romance where Conrad renounces his faith, the same way Paul renounces the world, and marries his cousin, Noah/Julia's child?

>Will this be an epic romance where Conrad renounces his faith, the same way Paul renounces the world, and marries his cousin, Noah/Julia's child?
No, I wasn't thinking of Noah/Julia's child (I named him Robert in an ironic homage to Noah's father, whom he killed. Jews use to name their children after their dead relatives for some reason, it's a custom for them.) because that would be weird as fuck. It would be incest all over again (although at a lesser degree). What was in my mind would be that Julia and Kelly (the half-sister of the Steinbergs siblings) would turn lesbian and raise the baby together. Kelly is an unruly, undisciplined feminist lesbian who works for a New Yorkina feminist magazine in the 60s. She's not in any way related to Julia, so if they fuck, it's not incest, and they'd raise the kid in secret and all. Julia, after having been completely fucked by both father and son (Noah and Bob) just says "fuck it, I'm gonna become a lesbian" and Kelly was always a lesbian and not blood-related at all so it all works out (except for the fact the kid will grow up fucked without a father. But that's the point of the novel. These are rotten families inside out.)

FUCK I REALLY NEED TO SLEEP AND THE GODDAMN ZOLPIDEM ISN'T WORKING.

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I wasn't thinking of Noah/Julia's child (little Robert) ever sleeping with little Conrad. That would be both incest and gay lmao.

little Conrad will never renounce the Catholic faith and sure won't sin like the Steinbergs' and do incest. My point is that the Steinbergs are sick.

I am disappointed by that but your plan fits the theme. Like you said, the families are rotted. Poor young Robert, though. Fuck.
You didn't specify if their child was a boy or girl so I figurd if Julia had a daughter, it would work out. But with Robert, that sounds gay and gross, I agree.

>FUCK I REALLY NEED TO SLEEP AND THE GODDAMN ZOLPIDEM ISN'T WORKING.
Stop replying and put down the phone

>I am disappointed by that but your plan fits the theme.
Why? Would you prefer if there was more incest in it so that there would be one huge family story that could go on and on? Kinda like Game of Thrones or whatever lmao?

Keep in mind that there are more characters than just the Steinvergs', I've made also The Sullivan's and I will make the Skarsands/Mullers' but even though there are awful events, I won't make it so that every person keeps it in the family fucking each other lmao. They're New Yorkers, and JEWS, not hillbilly from the South lmao.

I'll keep everything connected though and there is a considerable amount of characters I haven't introduced yet but are all written down.

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>You didn't specify if their child was a boy or girl so I figurd if Julia had a daughter, it would work out.
I could actually make Julia and Noah have multiple children. One of them could be given to the same Catholic orphanage that little Conrad went to, and they fall in love as they grow up. I could make it that they're all innocent and they're all just two catholic-raised teens that really love each other in the most innocent of ways, but actually discover later they're somehow related, yet, they like each other so much that they don't even care if they're related in the end because they like each other that much. They keep it a secret and have children themselves after marrying. At the end of the day they want nothing to do with the Steinbergs', and even when offered money they refuse, prefering to be husband and wife in peace and away from the sickness of the Steinbergs.

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What I mean by having Conrad and his female cousin (assuming it's not Robert), is that blood runs deep and it's hard to escape the powerful, primitive urges inside of man. Conrad would be raised into Catholicism and reject it as he got older, as his feelings develop for his cousin, while Paul strives to overcome the flesh. Paul is redeemed and his nephew/niece aren't. I just thought more tragedy would be interesting. How realistic Paul's hope? Or Conrad's, considering the hell of being raised parentless?

Still, your idea is better overall because it's equally as tragic that Robert is raised fatherless and feminized. That could contrast well with Conrad, who is raised by "men of the cloth".
I don't want you to completely rewrite stuff on my account, to fit my desires. Write what you really want, deep down, Ritalinbot, I'm just throwing stuff out there, friendo. That being said, this sounds pretty neat too. A reverse Oedipus, where instead of blinding himself, Conrad shrugs it off and just lives his life working and raising a family instead of being neurotic about punishment and redemption (a reversal of his Jewish nature). Sounds a little too "atheist" as a message, though. I don't know. What is the message of this?

Also, you really should listen to and sleep, you're going to start hallucinating soon from the sleeping pill if you fight it.

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The moral of the story is that Jews are sick and it's an apology for Catholicism. I won't make Conrad reject Catholicism, but he might do some incest here and there. Paul will sometimes struggle with the carnal pleasures temptations, maybe regarding the young girls that look like Veronica, and he will be reminded of what he's done increasing his torment.

Overral though, I'm keeping the description of the characters not very long or detailed in the novel. It's not a conventional one. It focuses much more on psychology, and the philosophical dialogues should be the climax of the book. It won't be a standard novel that drags on and on. I'm keeping things succinct and straight to the point. It's no Anna Karenina, even though it has just as many characters. What I want to say in the book the most is anxiety over death that Paul has and how he's got to resort to Catholicism to get rid of his fear of death. By the end of the book, to the surprise of all the docs, he'll be healed from his heart failure and live happily as a priest afterwards. It won't be explained if it was a miracle or not, if it was God's intervention or just pure luck, but Paul will choose to believe it.

Also, Paul and I believe mr. Rob will be sorts of pedos, but I would only write this as in this being a huge taboo and them not coming to terms with their own sexual desires and urges, not as an erotica lmao.

If I were to write erotica, I'd surely write mom and son porn.

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Sarah, Christian's wife, is fucking him behind his back, but he's too naive to see it. Sarah, though, eventually gets old and decrepit and no man wants her anymore so nature fucks her up without Christian's assistance.

Christian helps Paul a lot, because they are both Catholics. He then introduces him to church and all and he meets this priest, who is a very, very good person. Paul will talk about his fear if death, and how the docs suspect him of having heart failure. He wants to know why God made him, and for what purpose. Why did He put him on this Earth just to die this early? A philosophical dialogue will ensure. After that is done, the question of remorse comes about and he asks the priest what he can do to redeem, not only his sons, but the sins of the family, Noah's patricide and all. The priest says he must have faith... He must believe, no matter what. "A man must have hope", after all.

His remorse over all of this gnaws his soul from the inside. This is a part I'll really enjoy writing.

On the other hand, Christian, even though he's a six-figure salary ophaltomologist Catholic, struggles due to his sexuality because he has homoerotic tendencies and fantasies. He's sort of gay. He can't tell anyone because he has been raised Catholic ever since he was a child, and doesn't believe in psychoanalysis. He suffers a lot because of this.

Little Conrad grows up to become a good-spirited, loyal, honest, cheerful boy, no doubt due to how he was raised properly and away from his family, the steinbergs, with the exception of (now priest) Paul, who genuinely cares for little Conrad's wellfare.

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Sarah is fucking other guys behind Christian's back*

Pardon the zolpie drunkness.

Christian is a Catholic family man but he wants to fuck guys once in a while, he breakdowns and cries because he's afraid of eternal damnation for his homosexuality. Sarah, on the other hand, is a total hidden, manipulatively promiscuous whore, who fucks both guys and women, even when she is "Catholic" (only on paper). She's a big fucking bitch, that's what Sarah is, and she keeps fucking Christian but he's too dumb to see it.

Luke, Christian's son he had with Miriam ,has a stranded relationship with his father and they even fight, but not a lot, not nearly as much as Noah with Bob (before one kills the other). Even though Luke followed his dad's footsteps in also becoming a respectable ophthalmologist, they don't like each other very much, partly also because Luke is becoming increasingly unruly, angry, disatisfied, and atheistic. After he fucks his half-sister Veronica though, on the verge of a mental-breakdown and at a moment he starts believing there are no rules anymore, they have a baby. Veronica, being fucked in the head as she is, decides to keep it, even though he really wants her to abort. Later, he sees the errors of his ways (after a lot of suffering, of course) and gives up the kid, and want to leave his past behind forever, and forget that Veronica and little Conrad ever existed. He's teeming with guilt, guilt, guilt, and even disgust, for an incestual baby. He goes back to practising medicine and forgets everything, and leaves Veronica to raising little Conrad by herself.

Julia then starts seeing Veronica, and they decide to raise the baby together, so the kid will obviously grow up to be fucked from the start. Paul disagrees with all of this, and says he would take care of little Conrad himself were he not already ordained a priest, he believes the kid should be given to the Catholic Church orphanage where he can personally supervise the upbringing of little Conrad, just like he was doing with lil Robert. Feminist Kelly and Julia refuse.

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>Julia then starts seeing Kelly*

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT AM I DRUNK FROM THE ZOLPIDEM. I HAVE TO GO TO SLEEP NOW!

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Do you know anything about New York University or the surrounding area and culture?
First hand experience?

The addition of Sarah and Christian make this more interesting. I like lots of characters but understand it's more about themes than pure drama. Here's a family tree I drew to make sense of this. Do Sarah and Christian have children together?
>Sarah, Christian's wife, is fucking him behind his back
Or is she just a whore?

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Wait Kelly? Not Veronica? Well uh, ignore that connection I drew between them on and that's that.