Let it all out, lads. What's troubling you?

Well, my ex betrayed me and because of that we broke up. I lack of sleep and feelings now like I can't feel nothing. Ive changed my life by stop smoking, drinking and doing drugs and started to work out. But I can't fucking feel anymore! Yesterday I got so drunk that I texted my ex and said her that I felt love for her. Woke up and told her that I was drunk and that's why I could feel that .

Beautiful, rly beautiful. What stops you anyway?

What stops me from not lashing out and being violent? I guess it's just that at the end of the day, I realize these are just emotions. The thought of actually doing real violence isn't something troubles me because I don't think I genuinely do want to hurt me. Most of this anger is caused by myself and my response to the world rather than being caused by other people or the powers that be. I mostly express my anger in writing and expression because I enjoy channeling my emotions and internal sensations into words.

See, you already helping yourself by knowing why and where the problem starts. Give yourself some love and time

I feel kind of embarrased talkign about this shit because I do realize how fucking stupid it sounds from an outside perspective, but it is genuinely something troubling me. I have obsessional thinking and I'm psychotically obsessed with drugs, specifically weed, and how I don't want to see it or hear about it being mentioned. I don't ever want to do it because of another fucking OCD type compulsion where I need certain aspects in my life to be absolutes (e.g. I didn't drink until the day I turned 18 and I had to have a specific beer with my Dad as my first drink) and I constantly fear about being drugged. I especially don't like seeing it in porn, for some fucking reason. I've been trying to analyse it from a Freudian perspective and wonder what the correlation is between drugs, women and opinions. I think I've narrowed it down to two articles of thought.
The first is that I associate doing weed with the same feeling of corruption of innocence and impurity. A lot of people on here go on about how they want their gf to be a virgin and how they don't like a girl who's slept around before, and I've never felt that way, but that same sort of vitriol and frustration is how I feel when it comes to girls and weed. In the context of porn, I think it's that in more recent times I've been watching what I would probably classify as girlfriend simulators, since I'm a loner virgin. And there's something very comfortable and relieving about it. It's the kind of thing that can help me just fall asleep. But when I have that thought tarnished by the mental image of impurity and corruption that comes from seeing this bitch smoking weed, it fucks with me and gets into my psyche.
(cont)

In the past year I
>moved out of my parents house
>got a job
>stopped being an edgelord
>got on all the dating apps
>started cleaning my apartment religiously
>started buying new, nice clothes regularly
>stopped coming to Jow Forums (just here while Reddit is fucked)
>lost interest in gaming for the most part

>still no gf
There's this cute Asian who works in a restaurant in town and we always chat when I'm in there. I got all dressed up and walked the whole way into town the other day just to talk to her and ask for her number. I got all psyched up and expected rejection but thought I'd just go ahead and ask anyway because I have nothing to lose. I chickened out when I got there and just made small talk while ordering my food. I hate myself right now.

Don't have an attachment to anything. Nothing I like, or really want to like. Ready to float away for good.

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The second is that I don't like this idea of fighting an uphill battle in terms of opinions. I'm constantly say that I'm all for everyone having the right to their own opinion and being able to debate opinions in a constructive manner is a positive thing, but there's just a part of me that almost wants the world to be the way I see it. I want people to have the exact same opinions as me and when I see that the majority is against what I deem to be right, it triggers that OCD where I want to be stubborn and get my way. Since childhood, I've just been taught that "hey weed is bad and you shouldn't do it", and while I reject the notion that my mom seems to push that "it'll make you a schizo", I seem to gravitate towards agreeing with the notion that it's unhealthy and I don't want people doing it. Again, I'm asking myself why? For some reason, it seems to be just weed specifically, even thought I realize there are probably far worse and more damaging things you can be doing. But for some reason, I just have a very strong detestation of weed. It might be because I also loathe smoking and a lot of what comes from that. But even smoking doesn't bother me as much as it used to. For some reason, weed specifically triggers some obsessional response from me because I associate it with degeneracy and a bunch of losers taking pride in being stoned. To tie this all back to opinions, I think it's this feeling that no one else seems to agree with me. Most people try weed at least once in their life and a lot of people I talk to do it regularly, so throughout the day I feel like I'm the only person who shares this same contempt that I do, and the fact that I can't exactly explain why I hate it is what makes it worse. It's that deep, in-built anger that sets off a series of alarms in my mind, and the fact that no one else seems to have that same response bothers me.

I wanna hug you, and then
>succ your dicc

want to go full gymcel but every day i wake up and just don't want to do anything at all except sleep again.

you said you got nothing to lose. Maybe u got and it's the chance of going out with that lady. Ask her out man!

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Hey dude, I notice (You)

You don't have to like it or do it man, just do what everyone does with things that they hate: act nice and pretend that you're not bothered by that. Someday it will all go away

Everyone is different dude, you don't need to suit or fit in as long as you can be by others side and make yourself comfortable

Baaaaammping this fuckin thread

I'm depressed I got into autism welfare recently. I cannot find decent job not that it matters anymore got fat again I have.
I lost all hope and faith stopped reading just play video games, watch anime and fap. I wish could gather the willpower to turn things around and start going to the gym again

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I have an anxiety disorder and have been taking antidepressants for like 2 years. In the last couple of days it's become very hard (heh) to get and maintain an erection. I'm generally an incel, but have just now gotten a chance to have a sexual experience, but now I can't seem to get it up. Any advice?

i'm still fucking fat and my youth is draining away like a swimming pool with a hole in it

go get Viagra from the pharmacy or doctor if not possible online

my friend didn't say goodnight back last night :(
on a real note i've been having issues with words recently
there's a multitude of issues, but the one that strikes me most often is finding myself dissecting messages and blocks of writing in general, as in pulling apart the words and examining their meanings within context, i think i do it because it gives me some sort of security and comfort in knowing what the other person (or myself in some cases, such as this post) means, assuming they're being accurate with their words
i also find it really hard to write things and sometimes screech and punch myself because i can't find the words to say what i mean, it makes me really sad because there's so many things i want to say to some people but i get caught up in my own words and give up :(
i don't think this is normal, do any anons know what's wrong, i'd appreciate any help

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Yeah, I guess I'll have to look into that.

The problem is that I can't not ignore it and not let it bother me. It's like it's got some huge gravitational pull on my mind that I can't escape and I'm always fucking noticing it.

I'm having incredibly severe mood swings lately, and I constantly alternate between feeling depressed and melancholic to feeling like I snorted five lines of cocaine. And this can occur within the space of a couple hours. Yesterday I went from feeling manic and eccentric to feeling upset to feeling manic again to feeling depressed.

Are you very socially isolated? I find that if I haven't left my apartment for like a week, that my thinking patterns become a bit strange, because I overthink everything. But if you talk to someone, you can get a response to your thoughts and maybe they can give you some insight that you might have missed. So basically, if you don't, you should talk to someone honestly in real life, someone you can trust in confide in. And then with practice, it should get easier to express yourself.

My mum keeps trying to get me to open up, lost job recently and I've no motivation left in me for anything nowadays, she's offering to help but I don't know what to do. I'm not aiming for things like normies do so couldn't care less about career home family or the future, I'm just waiting to die, have been since childhood. Can't say this to my mum. So I'll leave it till it's too late, then whatever happens happens

I'm a 32 yo that lost youth to insecurity and fear. I also have some mental disturb that makes my live really hard, still living with mom, no friends, no gf, and the only good thing that happened to me was begin successful in some admission process to study electronics at a public school. I was thinking about be a catholic monk to leave the society and live a simple life praying and working at some monastery but I think I need more time to see if I will do it.

I STILL GET OVERWHELMING COCKLUST DESPITE THE FACT I HAVE A WIFE

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Read Kant.

Sorry, I was making my meal. What you think about proving it just once? Maybe to make you overcome your trauma like you said above

You need to feel good about being yourself. If you think you fit in the Catholic community and that makes you happy go for it. But you have to see if that's what you really want

Proving it? If you mean prove it by doing drugs then no I'm sorry I don't want to do that (besides, doing so wouldn't really change the fact that I get obsessional thoughts. Chances are my mind would just move to something else because it's parasidic like that). But if you mean prove it in the sense that I do some kind of congitive behavioral therapy and face my fears to overcome them, yeah I can try but I've found that's never ever really worked for me because the more I notice something the worse it gets. It's more beneficial if I notice less and don't think about things; getting too self-aware leads to a lot of my problems.

I was on the phone with my crush for 4 hours last night drunk as hell, I only remember the first hour. And I told her how fucking nice her ass was. And now I am completely mortified to find out what I said after that

I don't see a place in the society that I live where I fit and after years of confusion I realized that I can live a happy life as catholic monk. There some monastery about 600 miles from where I live and I think I will visit it first before move to there to be a monk.

im a fucking manlet, so people always assume the worst or nothing about me. I am never anyone first choice. the most ill every amount to is dying a lonely weirdo

I'm so fucking sick of people. People are so fucking shit. Cunts who don't accept responsibility and blame other people at work. Cunts who reverse into people feigning being rear-ended and injured. Cunts keying other peoples cars or destroying their property instead of facing the person directly. Cunts going into grocery stores and licking ice-cream/drinking soda that other customers will potentially buy. Choosing beggar cunts who think the world owes them a favor and cries poor/freaks out when they don't get their way. Personally, vidya and animuu ain't doing shit. Should probably start smoking weed again to chill the fuck out otherwise I'll be climbing a clock tower...

>manage to land job in the union because my grandfather, father and two uncles all worked there
>last night was the first of 3 OSHA classes we have to take
>got the timing wrong so I showed up 20min late and the teacher was pissed
>had to walk to my seat in front of the whole class of my future classmates/coworkers
>he hands me the paperwork that I need to fill out
>pull out my pen and it doesn't even write
>guy next to me lets me borrow his
>fast forward to the first break time
>i come back and my anxiety about the whole situation starts sitting in
>can't stop my arms and hands from lightly shaking, neck and head keep twitching uncontrollably
>finally get that under control after about a half hour but it was super embarrassing
>teacher comes over to my side of the class and starts explaining a situation
>uses me in the example and the whole class is looking at me
>start having an anxiety attack and kind of squirming in my seat while trying to suppress it
>a while later out of nowhere, i literally choke on my fucking spit or something
>not the thing where you accidentally breathe it in and cough a bit, but full on can't breathe
>start panicking and trying to swallow a bunch, exhale hard, whatever I could do to try fixing it
>not working so I kind of freak out and get up to leave and go to the bathroom
>it kind of breaks loose when I get up but I'm making all these weird choking and snorting sounds as I walk across the class trying to breathe
>get out to the hall and cough a bit then get some water and I feel okay
>debating on walking out the door to my car and slamming it into a tree at full throttle
>suck it up and walk back to class like nothing happened

I seriously feel like such a fucking idiot, that THAT was my first impression I made. I hope my father doesn't hear that I was late but I'm sure he will. I don't want to go back after all that, but I have to just ride it out for two more days.

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I go to the same bar with 1 or 2 friends quite often, 1-2 times a week and occassionally there is a crazy guy who goes there to watch his team whenever they play. Honestly he might not be crazy and just might be senile earlier than he should be, but he talks about the game to himself and loudly reacts to what's happening.

What bothered me is how my friends were making fun of me, saying that that is going to be me someday. I didn't think about it too much but it did bother me. Now my friend is saying that he worries that people hang out with him because they feel sorry for him and he's just an autistic mess. He said this while smiling and I think he was making fun of me.

In short: I think I'm starting to realise that people see me as some kind of autistic child and it really bothers me a lot. I feel like I'll never be a normal adult because I'm so utterly hopeless in relating to other people, I didn't even realise for so long how people viewed me as some kind of special needs aspie

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I HATE AGING

TFW ALREADY 23

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Just enrolled into a university program I know i will fail. Not that I had other choices though.

I just shat out loads of worms.
I've had worms for possibly years, but only just got medication for it a couple of weeks ago, and today I've shat out fucking loads of dead intestinal worms.
My arse is sore as fuck.

I am in a dilemma weather to rat on my friend or not???

will explain details if anybody interested

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because u are forced to?

My suicidal thoughts have transitioned from a product of passionate self hatred into the logical conclusion of lifes trajectory, and I'm just tired of it. Any time that my brain isn't occupied with something (Video games, drugs, TV / Youtube, the rare occasions that I get a chance to socialize, etc. etc) I immediately get a really tight feeling of anxiety in my chest and think about how much I wish I was just fucking dead, and dreading the fact that I don't have the balls to kill myself yet. I can't sleep at night and when I do it's always nightmares. Everyday I wish that some terrible tragedy would happen to me that way I wouldn't have to do it myself, but I know that it'll never happen unless I specifically went out of my way to make it happen, which I won't do because as I said earlier, I'm a pussy.

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thats fucked up. hope u dont every fly me

if he's a pedo, do it faggot.

if it's just drugs or thievery or something then leave him alone.

if you dont have the guys to kill yourself its your own self conscious telling you that you do have something to live for!!! FACT!

Go live a life to at least enjoy eating a delicious burger at McDonalds!

But he is kinda of an asshole which is like the low tier on my friends list, I kinda hate him

He is impersonating someone to take an exam for some cheap cash and I kinda want to see him get in trouble for it

I understand. Well, I still recommend the treatment because it can help ppl in severe cases and I think it can help you too.

1. i just ejaculated on my cat
2. would you fuck a retarded girl if she was super into you and hot?

Well that's nice man, if it really makes you happy then go for it :)

Everyone has a way to see things and react to them in someway. Just stop caring about them and take care of yourself

First of all, you're not an idiot. Second you have to learn how to control your anxiety before it overtakes you like that so that will stop happening and ruining your social life. When it happens just hold your breath a little and breath more slow and concentrate. You can master that and make it every time

I just typed up over a thousand words talking about myself and then deleted it all. I hate being the way I am, but I also hate this self-pitying bullshit yet I keep coming back to it.

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Yes sir I did it with my ex

Don't call yourself that names, don't treat yourself like shit. Let this to other ppl because that's what they do most

I dont like my Manlet date and I want to tell him to fuck off but everyone would hate me for that and I would feel guilty

Just don't say it's because of his/her height. But dump him/her because if you don't like don't waste your time

Yeah I know, but I am on medication that's working very well. It's just that there's still shit that bothers me.

I mean like therapy. Just take meds don't help that much

I'm still having problems with the existential dread.

I know everything will end, at some point, It feels like a race, I have to do X before I reach X years or it will be too late, and every single moment I have to be thinking about what the near future consequences of any desition I make will be, since I also know that mistakes can be fixed but still costs you time and oportunities.

I'm planning to get to my 40-50s, and say everything I did back was worthwhile, that I managed to make a meaningfull lasting mark somewhere, something to be proud of, I'm 24 and the moment where doors start closing is coming, I can feel it.

At some point I might just say "I will just stick with a plan, roll with it and see where it goes" but after all, I'm living the moment NOW, where things matter.

If I reach my 30s having the need to become a NEET and be a shut in until my death is the destiny I want to avoid, I want to feel that the world outside the internet is worthwhile and fullfilling, I have already tasted the nihilistic void of the 24/7 videogame, anime, movie fat slob always looking for something new to connect, and find release through that, but I know it's just getting my needy endorphin dose, in a constant cycle that never stops, if I were to be eternal I wouldn't mind but nothing lasts.

In retrospect, I should have never tasted that lifestyle, the temptation is always there, the safety of the 4 walls, the companionship of my computer the virtual fullfillment of constantly experience human culture and living in my imagination to the point where reality and dream are one, feels like a shadow that I will carry for my entire life, lurking and whispering.

I just want to be sure that I'm doing the right calls and that my future self is actually smiling at me knowing that everything will turn more than fine, that I never yielded and managed to transcend my mortality through my achievements.

FUCKING HIRE ME ALREADY

50+ APPLICATIONS A DAY

A BACHELOR'S DEGREE IN STEM

I DID EVERYTHING RIGHT

FUCKING HIRE ME ALREADY

I PLAYED BY THE RULES OF THIS RIDICULOUS SOCIETY DESPITE ALL THE ODDS

FUCKING HIRE ME ALREADY

meh working sucks anyways, I quit after 3 months

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i don't qualify for neet bucks and my parents stopped keeping food in the fridge or the house in general 4 months ago in a passive aggressive measure to get me out, and I do want to leave but I need to find employment that will allow me TO FUCKING LIVE ON MY OWN.

I was really stressed out about work, and then my boss decided his marriage is in rough shape so he gave me a salary to "help him out" on top of my regular job which is a 6 day a week endeavor where you're always on call including on your day off. So now I'm doing both and I'm even more stressed out and miserable, but I can't say no to the money because I'm trying to build a foundation for the rest of my life.

My girlfriend also got fired from her job months ago and is too anxious and depressed to find a new one. She's too broke to see a therapist. I really would like to help her, but she's constantly berating me as not being supportive even if I call her three times a day around my job. When she's upset she basically just goes silent on the phone and doesn't make any conversation while refusing to tell me anything if I ask, then she'll complain that we didn't even talk and I never support her.

It doesn't help that she lives an hour away and although I try to see her as often as I can, it's an hour's drive so we don't get as much time as either of us would like. I've asked her about moving in with me, but I'm tied to this town by work and she has the mindset that she wants to go to the city and get her own apartment and never live here. It feels like one gigantic struggle, I just want to love her and be with her.

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I'm out with my family at the moment and I really just dislike the concept of small talk and I'm faced with all these niggles like too much noise. I get that at the end of the day I'm the fucking aspie but I just can't enjoy a normal dinner with my family because there's all this shit that just annoys or bores me.

not the user you replied to (i'm ) but which of his works would you recommend given the context of user's post? i'm interested

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sounds rough, I own 1/3 of the house so my mom couldn't kick me out even if she wanted and I have some passive income to pay for my stuff, with about 4k saved up, it's not a lot of money but other than buying a few games or clothes every now and then I don't really need anything
it wasn't particularly find for me to find a job either, maybe I just got lucky idk, but I don't want to work anymore, it's shit, I'll just take my time learning how to draw and do porn requests I think

i want weed but can't have it right now. it's been a year lads. i want to get fucked up just once more.

Any posts trying to be insightful on this board and in an anonymous environment in gereral is a farce.
The overall feel of this place is insincere in an extremely disgusting way.

Im going to be destitute soon.
I've actually been past the point in more than one platonic relationship where the actual concept of my suicide isn't questioned.

Im a schizoid male with nothing to my name.
How does someone in thier twenties expect to seek out women when thier jobless?

I relate to that a fuck load. I've given up on trying for a relationship due to overall stress and other obligations in life.
Once I finish schooling I feel that I'll be able to do something, but I doubt it.

if you can't find a gf now then you won't be able to find a gf when you're working, now you have all the time and energy to go outside and do whatever you want, if you're working then ~10 hours of your day are spent with working, you just have less time and energy to do anything
working won't make you any more charismatic or interesting, you'll be the same awkward boring guy you were and now you're just tired on top of it as well
it's nice to look for some easy way that you think would drastically change your life, getting a job, working out, or whatever but they won't actually make a difference, the only thing that really matters is your mindset and how social you are, which you can't change that easily

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>Any posts trying to be insightful on this board and in an anonymous environment in gereral is a farce.
I find it's the opposite. Opening up in an anonymous format is more cathartic, since I never worry about people judging me and because conversations die after a couple hours so there's no baggage.

Buuumping this fucking thread again.

Lucas... Back when Ru wasn't a fucking retard.

my coworker asked me if I have a gf I said no and she said thats what she expected

Can't believe I feel this way about her. She can't be trusted at all. And now I know why.

What are you taking about? I find when people with usernames, profile pics, signatures, and the whole fucking lot start pitying people in forums and shit it all sounds insincere as fuck, a lot like virtue signaling. With anonymity, despite a few autists, there is no need to fake it

Being an egirl at 24 is "too old" for the internet. I am still young :'( I look younger too but I don't wanna lie about my age just to appeal to people

things wiII get better, user.

i don't know why you'd want to be an egirl but i'm sure you could make it if you tried
you remind me of my friend whom i met on here except she's always going on about how painfully old she is lol

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My crush has zero fucking interest in me and I just can't get over it for some fucking reason. LIke, heart SHUT THE FUCK UP

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I do not have a future

>played by societies rules

you deserve what you get. which will be a comfortable life. I pity you.

I feel like I'm more affected and saddened by loneliness than I used to be. Before I used to think "who cares, I'm my own person I don't need to go out all the time I'm happy with my life", but when ever big event (New Years, Halloween, St. Patrick's Day) is me sitting alone at home, coupled with all my friends posting pics and videos of them out, it's started weighing on me really heavily. I feel like I just want to do something, anything, with someone. Even if it's just spending some time at a pub or watching a movie, just anything.

at the end of a manic episode I alternate between irritable and depressed. I also feel those awful tingling sensations in my arms and legs like the comedown from propylhexedrine.

you're pathetic, and you're too busy posting here and warping yor mind to go after the woman or gym goals you want. you probably put people doing well down, and you're probably in total denial about yourself an your appearance

I've written a couple of posts in this thread and I'm also trying to actively bump this thread because I want to just talk to people. I'm finding a great amount of catharsis in opening up about this shit but I'm afraid of having this all this and any positivity that comes from this thread vanish, whereupon I'm just left alone with my problems again.

you're pathetic, and you're too busy posting here and warping yor mind to go after the woman or gym goals you want. you probably put people doing well down, and you're probably in total denial about yourself an your appearance you're just as pathetic lol probably in denial too faggot

I can't get a job. My parents think I'm lying and they think I'm not actually applying for any

manlets are a burden to society and should kill themselves. manlets are mentally abusive to women