Be me

>be me
>get constipated at amusement park
>go home
>still haven't shat
>try to shit
>straining.mp4
>only shit tha comes out is liquid, main stool still in there
>drink water and take advil with a stool softener
>try again
>nothing changed
>they to ask nurse mom for help
>she fucking tries to manually break up the crap
>no luck still
>mfw still haven't shat yet
Am I going to fucking die, guys? Is this how I go out? At least I got to go on Maxx force, but still

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HAHA! user is going to literally die of constipation! It will say "He could not shit to save his life" enjoy being famous after your shitty death!

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I will die as I have lived, full of shit

Seriously, though. I mean, I sorta want to die, just not like this. This was a shitty way to end a day at six flags

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Just use an enema.

I don't have any lying around. Trust me, if I could put water up my ass I would

Update: still no luck. My stomach is also rumbling

here lies user, he couldn't shitted

Get some taco bell. If that doesnt cause a waterfall, then youve got bigger problems

I'm fucked pretty much

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Taco bell doesn't give me the shits but since I like it so much, it can be my last meal

I wish we could trade positions user. I'm shitting far too much due to side effects of my meds. It's horrible having to run to the toilet every half hour or so and just shit out what amounts to nothing.

Youll be fine. Go play some vidya and calm down.

Can we pool our struggles together so we can both crap normally? I mean, I don't really mind diarrhea

K. I'll sit here until I can shit. Or I die. Win-win

Aslong as its not longer than like 3 days you're fine. Just keep drinking a lot of water

do an enema before you get an impacted bowel and a doctor has to literally dig shit out of your asshole because you cant shit it out

Thanks, user. I'll drink more water and see if that helps. I've also stopped eating so I don't get any more backed up. I no longer get hungry

Read
I don't have one available

>she fucking tries to manually break up the crap
Wtf does this mean? She stuck something up your ass to break up the clogged shit? Sounds painful.

She stuck a lubed up finger in my butt and tried to help remove the blockage

Not as kinky as it sounds, btw. It was very painful

Why did she have lube?

It was some vitamin e oil. I phrased it weird

Turkey baster faggot

So your mom can stick her finger up your ass but she's incapable of running to Walgreens and buying an enema?

Person with an ass disease here. I've gone days of being constipated, for months on end being constipated was my life. You'll be fine you wuss.

It's 10pm at night here

seeor else just use your showerhead, switch it to single spray mode.and then get as much water in as possible, clench your ass and penguin waddle over to the toilet

Mine doesn't have single spray mode but I'll keep that in mind

Walmart sells enema and those are 24 hour stores

Got it. I'll see if I can pick some up

>I sorta want to die, just not like this.

Yeah, that's life, you don't get to choose.

I know, but that sounds like a shitty way to go out