If you absolutely had to get laid within a week, what would be your plan to achieve it? Paying for it doesn't count, neither does rape.
Pretend that you'd face a lifetime of unbearable torture if you failed, and any attempt to avoid the punishment including suicide is impossible.
Constantly go out into the city centre at night and try to flirt with girls, preferably while we're both drunk. My looks aren't the problem so I should be able to get at least one person if I'm drunk enough to surpress anxiety.
I'd ask girls out. Having sex is easy.
Tell everybodh that if i don't get laid, I will face a lifetime of torture
Would they believe you though?
Obviously I'd--
>Paying for it doesn't count
Well shit, then I guess I'd have to--
>neither does rape
Well damn user you're not leaving me with many options. I'd try tinder I guess, go out to bars, maybe find a place with older women. Supposedly they like virgins
download tinder and upload my best selfies and swipe right on everyone constantly
+ go to a bar and drink and hit on the least attractive women
obviously i'd just ask my sister. she'd without a doubt fuck me to save me from a lifetime from torture
Find a really desperate and horny obese single mother tbqh. That's really the only way.
>swipe right on everyone constantly
Tinder has an algorithm that punishes you for swiping right on everyone. You appear less.
Does getting laid with a man count? I can't imagine that would be very hard to arrange, and I'd go gay for a night to avoid eternal torture.
If not, go to every dating app I can think of, and bars etc, and only target the ugliest of girls. They should have far lower standards.
I'm assuming prostitution isn't viable, or that would make your hypothetical boring.
I would research to find the "club" with the highest ratio of females to males in my area. I wouldn't be concerned with cost, because any cost is worth paying to avoid a lifetime of torture. I would buy fashionable clothes that fit well. At the club, I would make a pass at pretty much every woman. If I exhaust all the women in the club, I move on to the next one. Rinse Repeat until I get laid. Essentially, I would treat it like a numbers game.
*sigh*
Download grindr and lube up my butt
Anons, being gay damns you to an eternity of torture anyway.
Doesn't pre-marital sex do the same thing, according to your religion? They're both sinful.
Easy, I'd just download grindr and get blown by a dude. Would leave with most of my dignity intact and avoid torture. I could do this on the first day.
I would explain the situation to my female friend and she would value me that much that she doesn't want me to face life time torture. Assuming I had a way to prove this and she just doesn't assume I have gone batshit crazy.
I'd pay someoneto let me rape their daughter, then commit suicide. Fuck you old man, you won't tell me what to do.
pretty sure some 3 or 4/10 would be kind enough to let me if i told her
I would go to a club, get mildly drunk and then approach very drunk girls.
The lifetime of unbearable torture would happen. I repulse women by being autism and a 4/10 male
my female friend having pity sex with me is my sexual fantasy
Guess I'll be screwed then.
I have okayish looks so it probably woulnd't be difficult to pick up some disgusting drunk hag
>and any attempt to avoid the punishment including suicide is impossible.
I guess it's over for me then.
all meme answers
I would read up on eastern philosophy on how to deal with an eternity of unbearable torture. No way in hell I'm getting laid, especially not with the anxiety that this situation brings.
if i dropped all standards except for biological female and went on tinder and okcupid i could get laid 80% of the time within a week - granted it would be with some really, really gross girls but that's what zero standards means.
if i wanted to avoid unavoidable torture and grindr was an option i'd do that and i could probably get laid within a day or two (and frankly i could respect that more than fucking gross fat chicks desu)
Ask some friends or my sister. It's a lifetime of torture.
Install Tinder
Put some effort into getting dates
Bam
I'd try my luck with suicide
my plan would be to contact my fwb and get my fuck on and then avoid the punishment. But I wouldn't feel good about it because she is pretty gross
Go to a third world country and ask people out.
>no rape, paying, or suicide
So basically this is a trick question. After people give their answers of going for girls in their own league you'll smugly say "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh then why don't you do that now, check mate virgin, you have no excuse". Similar to logic like "do what you would do if money were no object" or "if you are suicidal the world is your oyster".
But even in this fantasy life-or-death situation I have no answer on how I'd get sex. I sincerely, honestly, truly do not know how. I haven't the faintest clue on how to meet girls or guys, for romance or sex or just friendship, and I'm also not attractive enough for people to pursue me. So I have no choice but to accept a lifetime of punishment. Normalfags would want that for me anyway because I'm like totes a creep.
this thread is making me watch tinder profile tips on youtube
Ask my girlfriend tonight.
Define getting laid? You could probably go on Grindr and fuck some nasty old man within minutes.
I'd pray to God.
>Paying for it doesn't count, neither does rape.
I guess I fucking fail no matter what I do and get tortured.
like why would you expect any other answer?
fuck my girlfriend
later virgins
>mfw there is no exit
pawn some shit and buy a plane ticket to some eastern yuro shithole or SEA
Rape doesn't count? Why not? That seems like an arbitrary rule. Fuck you.