/britfeel/

Drinking a bottle of diet coke in the foyer at Sainsburys before doing my shop edition

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i wish i had a moni gf

You're at the arcade on the grabbers when this 6'1 person blocks your path, what would you do /britfeel/?

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ask her if she wanted to go get a drink
numbers game

kik me, I'm easy ;)

Looks aside how is crona so skinny when all he eats is disgusting junk?

Need a cute bf right now.

>I'm easy ;)
Is that a good thing?

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how dumb are you?
ballpark

no dickheads allowed itt

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Any other Saturday wagies in

>Is that a good thing?
for you

im a neet idk if thats better or worse than wagecucking on a saturday, i dont enjoymy life anymore

>selling on gumtree
>guy agrees to come today
>wait in all day
>'i phone in 1hr'
>6hrs later
>indian/paki
>'hello i dont speak good english, i come tomorrow morning, ok?'

ffs.

He will haggle, have fun

Do me one favour and post your favourite porno graphic image.

Just got in. Fuck Saturday retail.

Im scared, help lads

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Most whites refuse to sell to Pakistanis, that's why we refuse them food, shelter and humility

Been almost a month since i last talked to another human being in person

Since you asked so nicely. Here are three top tier Japanese milves.

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>milves
weve been through this, its milfs

elves
dwarves
milves

>humility
HUMANITY

Elf and dwarf aren't acronyms, you spaz. MILF is an acronym, so it doesn't pluralise the same way. We're not going over this again.

milf isnt a word its an acronym, therefore, milfs

That's like saying hippogrives, when it's hippogriffs

milf isn't an acronym, it's a word that describes a sexually attractive woman in her late 20s to late 30s

Kek, you're on your own dickhead
This is the future you chose

in theory, milfs dont have to be attractive at all, if youre desperate enough

It means mother I'd like to fuck you idiot jesus

>milf isn't an acronym, it's a word that describes a sexually attractive woman in her late 20s to late 30s
Are you special? Or just baiting?

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Milf classification is personally subjective?

Looks like he reeks of smegma and stale deodorant flakes

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well if you were desperate enough you might like to fuck anyone, thats the point i was trying to get across, tastes in roasties is completely subjective anyway, do you know there are some lads who like fatties?

>huuuur im a fucking retard durrrrr
that's you btw

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Sure etymology of the word milf can be traced to the acronym MILF, but language changes.
It's like lazer.

what the fuck is a hippogriff?

Isn't that Ebina

>a 28 yr old woman is a MILF
mong

so is the plural of golf golves? if so then why isnt a single glove called a glof?

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I wonder if Moni is secretly still attracted to women?

>16 year old is a milf

No it isn't, because that's a -ff
Another one would be knife to knives.

Lol, look at this pleb over here that actually walks everywhere, like a BARBARIAN

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Phwoar don't get me turned on like that

Looking at the state of Cr*na and the other trannies I'm starting to believe that MONI is the most passable tranny and queen of /britfeel/

Who's with me?

I'm not sure about this, on the one hand i'm reasonably sure they're a gay man pretending to be trans because it's easier for them to deal with.
But on the other, would totally make sense if it's all a ploy to get into the girls' changing rooms.

that's a fucking unicorn not a hippogriff

Bollocks.
I'll fucking UNICORN you mum with my giant, protuding, cranial HORN

Ah yes, two dice, one die. Like two mice, one mie. Or rather, one mouse, two mice, like one house, two hice

>Be me
>Former NEET
>Got a job working in a solicitor's practice
>Owner likes me
>He gets me a job in a bank
>No one around me suspects a thing
>I still get nostalgic about staying up all night playing vidya.

pigeon toastie is a biological female and the queen of britfeel. tranny queen is cola, at least she puts the effort in to looking female.

Fuck off weatherfu. Stop stalking pigeon roastie and orbiting cola

Or maybe he's just absolutely fucked in the head.

and I'll ram yours up the arse with a hippogriff.
that has got to be a made up word.

Oh yeah lad, that's a given

Who's your favourite Marvel hero, lads? For me, it's Spider-Man.

How do you think they'll react if they found out you were a NEET once?
Human sacrifice to the banking gods probably.

>headlined Glastonbury
>headlined TRNSMT
>numerous awards
>voted most influential artist

I wasn't memeing when I said Stormzy was the best artist currently out there. The boy is making serious waves and redefining an entire genre, bringing it into the mainstream.

kek I'm not weatherfu. he gets the blame for everything around here poor bastard

Which words aren't?
Don't violate a lad's mum with a mythical creature lad, it's unbecoming.

I headlined Glastonbury and I'm gay and a little bit retarded

Raimi's Spider-Man

His songs are literally playing at work

>I grew up surrounded by animals
Feel like he was commentating on black people

Loved Spiderman as a kid. Not sure if I have a favourite now I'm pretty behind on the movies

Goku from DBZ

Yeah, I'd end up as one 18,000 Deutsche Bank people. Sometimes I miss munching on a takeaway in my shitty northern house while playing vidya and watching Youtube/Netflix, but I wouldn't go back.

>user we're popping to the shop you want anything?

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King from One-Punch Man

I'd get behind Tom Holland. OwO

he violated mine so nyaaah.
I have honestly never heard the word hippogriff until now and I thought I was quite well read.

get me a condom so i poke a hole in it and then go back in time and fuck your mother, causing her to conceive you

How do you and other Pakistanis feel about black people?

Been NEET for a year now, might actually start trying to get a job soon.

the x mens

fuck sake buy a box of doughnuts from the shop and they're all warm and the icing has come away onto the box

Armor
She's a cute Japanese girl
youtube.com/watch?v=hR2kRsgajaQ
And voice acted by an even cuter one, Yukari Tamura.

What kind of job are you after?

cvlibrary dot com is a good idea, maybe survivorship bias but i got my job there.

good features:
quick CV/cover letter save/select and send
good search filter

You lads saying you like working must have some sort of mental deficiency.

Got a degree in computer animation and vfx but havent done anything related to it for 2 years so I have no portfolio.
So any shitty job really except call centers.

Do some online freelance shit to build up that portfolio, then apply to a decent firm.

>Be me
>9 years old, parents get a (healthy) divorce
>Mum meets a new guy who has a daughter a year older than me
>Socially awkward, don't really know any girls other than her (she becomes my stepsister in like 2013 or something.)
>By 11 years old, she is the only girl my age (give or take a few years) that not only talks to me, but interacts with me as a friend
>Boys school for secondary so know literally zero other than her for like a 7 year chunk
>Going through puberty, notice she has a nice body, and that she interacts with me
>...Masturbate to memory of her, feel like shit
>But it felt good, just imagining what i'd do to her
>This continues throughout my entire teen years, when I masturbate I always end up thinking of her or scrolling through fb posts
>By the time she is 15 she has the most perfect, supple, tanned teen body
>Every holiday I spend a month mentally preparing to see her in a bikini regularly (best part of the year)
>Stare for hours a day, hoping to get a peep, a nipslip, anything (never do)
>At least I have perfected the art of being a pervert on the beach, absorbing her image of her perfect body into my mind
>19 now, but masturbating to porn always ends up on her fb or imagining her face over the pornstar's body

I have masturbated nearly every day nonstop since around mid year-6. I'd say the average per day is between 1-2 nuts, roughly every other day I would do it in the morning as well as the evening. Let's say it's been about 8 years since I began wanking regularly, and 1.5 per day. (if anything that's a conservative estimate).

8 years * 365 = 2920. Let's minus 50 to account for when I've been sick or too tired to wank in a day.
2500*1.5 = 4305 nuts.

Average volume of nut is 3ml. I guess this would have the biggest error value in any number so far, I guess my nuts are average.
4305*3 = 12.9 litres.

>I've busted 13 litres of nut to her. Pic related is 13 litres, I could fill it up with spunk from nutting to her

Love ya, Emily

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Post a nice hairy vagina, please. Thanks.

>tfw you have needs, wants and desires but you've been alone so long you're completely disassociated from life & relationships. Even if you managed to get one you'd be constantly questioning yourself if this is actually happening.
>end up forever trying to talk to girls but never getting further than the basic pleasantries because you have to compete with every other man in the world
>you don't stand out or have anything to offer

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Really need to blow a hot guy right now.

Does anyone know what happened to Costwold?

lower
blower
flower

*I mean Cotswold
It sounds like I'm talking about a discount marketplace here.

I long for the day I can watch porn with the sound all the way up.

That kane spack is streaming again

are almost all americans really fat or is it just a meme? has anyone been and seen it for themselfs?

I've not been for about a decade, but not only were there more fat people over there, their fat people were a lot fatter than they are here.

Why is luton such a shithole lads?

>By the time she is 15 she has the most perfect, supple, tanned teen body

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>Why is luton such a shithole lads?
I'll give you one hint. It begins with P.

You know why m8.

Lack of investment in local services.

God you are all freaks
Hate every single person in this thread x