Hey r9k. this is a thread (again x2) where you can write whatever. ill respond to you in some shape or form. all of you...

hey r9k. this is a thread (again x2) where you can write whatever. ill respond to you in some shape or form. all of you. so long as my alcohol continues. ask me something, share some advice, reveal some dark secret, tell a tasteless joke--whatever. just say it.

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youtu.be/z0PP06qodGo
twitter.com/AnonBabble

What do you look like Mr.user desu

should i stop using the fact that i can just kill myself if things dont work out as a form of keeping myself alive

i did one of those make-your-own-avatar things recently and i look sort of similar to this? i dunno. id post but it's against r9k rules

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you look like me, i thought you were some old bommer dude

You're kinda adorable Mr.user

i'm not sure if i can even advise against this considering i work under the same modus operandi. killing myself is always the plan b.
do i give off that impression? i'm only 22 and stupid.

Tell us about your first love pls. I want to hear a story.

i assure you i am a thousand times uglier than that photo may imply

I want to have a partner (not necessarily a girlfriend, even an open minded friend would work) who is willing to beat me up. I'd like for them to start softly, and gradually build up the strength of their punches and other strikes, so we can both learn how much we can handle. And then when we're comfortable I want them to beat me on a regular basis.

It's pretty selfish though. It's not like they get anything out of it. I get what I want but what's in it for them? It's okay I know it's not realistic. I just like to think about it.

I've actually improved myself a lot ever since the year started
i lost a bit of weight and improved my diet
I've lost my virginity and actually got a girl interested me
i've finally stopped procrastinating and got my license and was able to get a car shortly after
and i'm planning on moving out of my home state here in a few months.
all of this within the first part of the year.
I can't really feel happy about any of it because i'm 23 and it just feels like i've caught up to the bare minimum of what the average person is

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how often are we talking here? on the face, on the arms, on the stomach? any time they want or only when you want?

im writing an email response to you atm but i think my autism is kicking in because im also (inadvertently) distracting myself with like 20 other things. expect it soon though?

I'm not completely sure. Maybe a couple times a month, or maybe extra sessions if they like it and want more. I need time to heal between them though.
I'd like to work my way up to more "serious" beating. Maybe in the beginning I'd be too hesitant to try the face, but that's part of why it'd be a gradual, controlled process. I could adapt and eventually my whole body could be my partner's punching bag. I just prefer if I didn't lose any teeth but that's an occupational hazard that must be accepted.

okay user, but bear with me

i played an inordinate amount of minecraft as a teenager and found myself playing on a server of no more than 30 regulars--those who were brave enough to talk found themselves in the official teamspeak server, and that's when i met her. she was incredibly kind and bubbly, and not without a sense of humor. the more i played, the more i found myself here not out of any want to actually play but more out of a want to hear her voice.

eventually. we moved from teamspeak to skype--from here, we spoke almost every single day, watched a lot of movies and anime together in a primitive version of rabb.it, and just... enjoyed each other's company. for what seemed like an endless stream of months, this is what we did, and we were happy.

it was months until we met--but when we did meet, it was genuinely magical. to put a face to what i had only known as a stray voice and text was mind blowing was mind blowing, and we... ended up sharing a lot of firsts for each other. different days found us doodling together on her couch, beating the shit out of each other in smash brothers, or just... existing together.

but i am not a producer of good endings, and this story is no different. i was young and inexperienced, but it serves as no excuse. i wanted to pursue sexual ventures that she did not, and i pressured her to do them with me. i continued to do this with her every time we met, and i only grew bolder and less empathetic of how she felt. by the end of our relationship, i emerged a monster, forcing someone to do things they didnt want to do but were hesitant to say no to. i did that, and i never realized how horrible of a human being i had become until we laid together in her bed and i understood the actual fear in her eyes. we broke up shortly after.

years later and we're very close friends, and i've apologized profusely for how i acted. but i've never forgiven myself. and i dont think i should.

> heal
have you actually been beaten to the point were you need to heal to know if you enjoy it or are you just fantasizing?

i dont blame you at all. in fact, i'd probably pay actual coin for someone to come and beat the shit out of me. not to ridicule what you actually want, though. to be honest, i think you'd be surprised to discover how many people out there would be okay with this scenario, so long as everyone would be consensual. don't lose hope, user.
i'm proud of you, user! genuinely. losing weight is incredibly difficult and that alone should net you praise, but making movement in your social status and responsibilities is more than enough to ensure you have my respect. it's okay that you don't feel happy--i don't know you, but i can assume you've maybe spent most of your upbringing unhappy. all of these changes feel alien to you, but please acknowledge that these changes and growth are owed all to your own self development, and you should feel some pride for where you are.

keep going, user.

it's very sweet of you to update me on your progress so that i'm not left wondering if *this* will be the one email that's so stupid it stops you from responding--but please don't feel a need to rush yourself. your letters are always a highlight of my day and i think they earn that position if only because of the care you put into your words. don't overwhelm yourself too much with the 30 other things though, dummy. pace yourself!

youtu.be/z0PP06qodGo
i wonder along with tman if you've ever been beat to this desired point physically.

okay i managed to finish my turd of an email

as always, your emails are filled with such personality and tenderness that it puts me in a warm, although regretful mood. i'll be sure to respond when i've collected my thoughts

p.s. nice dubs yourself, fucker