Why do I feel so empty, so pathetic, so guilty, so disgusted with myself? Me and my best friend met yesterday, I always thought he looked cute. After watching Netflix for a while, I showered together with him and he fucked my ass on his bed, it was my first time. He used plenty of lube so I got used to it pretty quickly, we both came at nearly the same time. Had his cum flowing out of my ass while we watched Netflix again, nude this time, his cum was leaking out of my ass onto his couch, though his hand on my hip reassured me for a bit that it was what I wanted. Movie ended, fucked again, went to sleep cuddling up to him. Went back home in the moring, now I feel his dried up cum on my undies and the opening to my anus. I feel absolutely disgusted with myself for doing that. Is there any salvation for me robots, or am I gonna be a faggot forever?
Just got fucked up the ass
maybe you just need to wear a condom next time so you dont get cummies in your butt?
I liked the feeling of the lubed up skin of my best friends cock in my ass. I liked having his cum in my ass as I lay my head on his shoulder as we watched a movie, and as we cuddled together in bed. I just feel really disgusted with myself that I could do something that I considered "so degenerate" a year ago and that I kinda still do. My feelings are conflicted, the image of me being this innocent naive guy has been shattered. I want to continue fucking my best friend, I want to be his his wife of sorts. I felt pleasurable submission for the the first time with him. He's my first and I feel like I love him, but I don't know if it's genuine or simply my first run in with puppy love. Sex feels so intimate that it feels like I gave a part of myself to him. I just feel confused with myself.
next time just eat his cum, that way you won't have it dried in your asshole
user this is natural, you feel disgusted with yourself for committing such a heinous act against nature. you know this isn't right, try fix your behavior before it's too late, please user
Sounds like internalized homophobia stopping you from enjoying yourself my dude. That all sounds hot, why are you so grossed out?
I've always wondered how women feel after they are in porn but they probably enjoy it because they're such shameless sluts.
I gave him a blow job both times, first time I swallowed all of it. Second time he came all over me, which kinda pissed me off. That reminds me that I still smell like him, and that I should probably take a shower.
Just say "No homo." and it will be alright.
you should be happy to smell like him, that's his mark on you
I don't think I can just reject him like that, he's my best friend and I don't want to hurt his feelings. I honestly don't know why I got myself into this fucking situation, with my friend no less.
I don't know, it just felt disgusting once I got home. I always felt that homosexual acts were dirty and degenerate, I used to make fun of faggots and poopdicks for fun. Now I'm feel like I'm gonna be a hypocrite if I do so again. I thought I was better.
If you care more about your image than love and pleasuring him, then stop and think about your priorities. Honestly I think what you did was sweet, you may just feel disgusted due to not cleaning up afterwards, it's normal to be a little ocd about being clean.
Trust your gut instinct, you have something good I think so don't squander it. Love is love.
Stop letting media and randos stop you from doing what makes you feel whole. Being a fag is fine as long as you're not aiming to cut off your dick and pretend to be something you're not.
>Now I'm feel like I'm gonna be a hypocrite if I do so again. I thought I was better.
Yeah, you were unjustifiably judgmental, influenced by your culture and environment. Now you understand you were wrong. You don't have to KYS over it.
Maybe you're right, I just don't understand this stuff, I never had a partner before. I can't get him out of my mind. I should probably just got take a shower and stop thinking too hard about this, maybe I'll stop feeling these feeling the next time I spend time with him.
It's normal to get butterflies, especially if it's your first time and you grew up with the stigma of "gay bad hurr".
When I first started cuddling with the guy I love I was literally shivering because I was so nervous and hadn't felt that kind of contact before.
I have the problem of not being the best when 'taking it' since I'm so tight, it's a lil painful, but still feels good. Sometimes a little bit of booze to loosen up (literally) helps too.
People change user. It's what you currently feel that you should go with. It sounds like you're having the start of some pretty intense feelings, why waste a lifetime of potential happiness over what you used to think?
You'll get used to it, but maybe talk to him about it if you're still feeling a bit uncomfortable in a day or so. And I mean face to face talk, not just over messages.
Really properly talking to someone face to face and having them hold you and comfort you can heal a lifetime's worth of damages if done often enough. This is something you'll have to work on, and if there's a chance you might end up in a longterm relationship then it's important you both know where you stand and to start the healing process asap
this is how aids is created folks.
I really liked it when he was fucking me in this missionary like position, but he seemed to like doggy style the best. Is it rude to ask for missionary?
>is it rude?
Not if you ask kindly lol
Just say you enjoyed it more, if he's a nice guy he'll understand. Relationships are all about compromise.
You got yourself a bf user, congratulations. Did you ever talk about having sex before? Did you kiss?
We started dating for 2 weeks before, first time we even talked about it was yesterday, although he had always joke about it. I got kissed for the first time the day before, I can't believe we moved to sex so fast. It was more of a spur of the moment thing. We were in the kitchen getting popcorn, I was a bit drunk and I had been talking with him about our kiss the night before, I jokingly said "It would be crazy if we had sex tonight right? Ha ha". He came over to me, took my chin in his hands and kissed me again, and whispered into my ears if I wanted to try, after fidgeting and looking down all embarrassed for a bit, I squeaked out a yes, and that was that. He tought me how to give a blow job, how to prep for anal, everything.
Any more details, these kinds of stories always make me feel fuzzy on the inside and horny.
One day, out of the blue, I had declared (came out) that I was bi. He looked at me weirdly, didn't say anything, then in a joking manner asked if I would date him then. I said I wouldn't date him because I didn't see him that way, but the question burned in me for a week. I asked myself if I really liked him, and I came to the conclusion that I would have to decide by dating him, if we did. I told myself that I would say yes, if he ever asked seriously, though I never thought he would again after I basically friendzoned him, but luckily he did. His confession was cute, sat with me on a park bench, inched his hand towards mine and held it and just asked me out, seriously this time. I said yes, and that was that. Our first date was at some nice cafe, the date itself was rather uneventful, we just talked like we always did, while drinking coffee.
Sounds cute user,you should really talk to him though about your feelings
>I used to make fun of faggots and poopdicks for fun.
Homos throw shade on each other all the fucking time so it's nbd. Now it'll be ironic because you're getting your brain melted by a regular dickings from your best friend, you lucky bastard.