I'm at the end of my line, bots. I don't want to hold on anymore. Its not been a very good run for me; I've only been abandoned by anyone who has ever entered my life. I'm so fucking scared to talk to anyone, i just know that they won't ever stick around. The only close relationships I've ever had were always abusive and one-sided. The only friend I ever had abandoned me a few weeks ago. I'm all alone now. It's just me and this fucking room, with all of these feelings and thoughts swimming around my skull. I've only ever been kind to people, I've only ever cared about them. I've only ever been gentle. Why? What did I do to deserve this? What kind of piece of shit am I that everyone spits on and throws away? I don't know what its like to be cared about, I don't know what its like for someone to be nice to me. I don't even know why I would write something like this, it doesn't make sense. Robots, I just want you to know that I've kinda lived through you. I've been on this board for awhile, isn't it so fucking sad that this is probably my closest thing to a real friend? I've read a lot of your posts over the years, trying to be there for others in need because I certainly know what its like to have noone. Please, don't do what I'm about to do. None of you should have to experience that pain. If any of you actually read this far, I only wish that every single one of you the best; Live your lives the happiest you can. Goodbye, bots.
I'm at the end of my line, bots. I don't want to hold on anymore...
Other urls found in this thread:
Bruh
Send it
How are you going out OP. I almost ended it myself but my parents, I couldn't leave them. My family. It would be a slap in their faces.
If you have a family that loves you, it isn't worth it. Please, for me, you can call any of your family and tell them you love them. I'm sure they wouldn't ever mind it. I was planning on a razorknife in the bathtub, its edgy but I need it to hurt.
I feel like I should be trying to stop you but I don't even know how I could begin to do so, I can barely convince myself not to bite it.
You should kill some vapid sluts or captain save a hoes before suiciding by cop.
Don't die like a weak faggot or you might go to hell/bad rebirth
dont be weak minded. i know it's stupid to say there're others that have ten times crappier, but still. you could travel anywhere, maybe to guanzhou. i've heard it's pretty nice
Ok. I'll tell them man. Honestly I would tell you not to do it but fuck I know how painful things can be. I wouldn't ask you to suffer to ease my conscience. But is there truly no alternative for you? I'm about to head to work so I'm here all night man.
sorry to hear youre in a shitty position OP hope u get better
Its really fine. Thank you for your kind words but I don't want to be alone anymore, its just been me for so long, and I'm not nice to myself either
I know its against the board culture but I believe even everyone has some kind of worth, I've never hurt anyone in my life and thats atleast something I can take to the grave.
I've just decided to accept I'm always going to be alone and will always be the one people forget about. Since I've done that, deleted 60% of my Socials and privated the rest, I've genuinely been feeling better. I've just been focusing on what I'd like to be doing rather than thinking about how I wish people were talking to me or etc. maybe you should try focusing completely on yourself before jumping to this.
After all, this /is/ a decision you can't come back from.
I feel you user. All my life i've treated others nicelly. Like, i treat others better than I treat myself. People like me at first then they just...leave. I don't really know what I do wrong, but I'm sure its not them that are the problem, its me. Otherwise, at leas SOMEONE would have to like me enough to stay right? Maybe there's something wrong with me, idk.
Sometimes I think "Even if 99% of people find someone, there will ALWAYS be that 1% that doesn't. They didn't choose to be the 1%, it just happened, and maybe, I'm part of that 1%"
I don't really like asking anyone for anything, so please just get ready for work. I never really even expected anyone to reply. It sounds gay but I'm just tired of crying, that feeling in your chest like constant heartache. Honestly, this is the most meaningful conversation I've had in awhile. There is no alternative, I'm sorry. There isn't anyway I can stop being who i am, and I doubt there is anyone else that would want to talk to me
> Please, don't do what I'm about to do. None of you should have to experience that pain
why should you, then? You said it yourself, you've only ever been kind and gentle to the ones you've been close to, I think that's a great thing. You shouldn't have to suffer for the shittiness of other people. Also, you're still very young, and have a lot of time to meet someone, friend lover or otherwise that isn't just complete garbage.
i know this is the normiest of questions, but have you seen a therapist, the type that listens instead of tells you your problems?
I've been in a very dark and lonely place recently, too, and honestly i thought it was a waste of time, but im noticing that my outlook has been the best it's been in a long time. I wouldn't call my outlook 'good' quite yet, but it feels like i have a lot less spontaneous weight.
If you're gonna kill yourself send me a sign from the other side, turn my tv on or some shit, and if you don't go through with it, get a puppy or something.
I'm sorry that you have to live that way, I can tell that you are a nice person for even replying to something like this. I'm still young, and I do know that focusing on myself helps because its all I've ever had. It makes me sad that you can relate to me though, I wouldn't wish that upon anyone.
>i have no friends
you dont know the half of it
I'm sorry user...I understand that too well. I feel as if we would get along if I ever actually knew you. You don't deserve to feel this way, and I truly feel sorry for you to not have someone to reciprocate your kindness. Please, atleast go to sleep tonight thinking that someone has sent you some kind wishes. Its not much of anything, but its all I can do.
I don't know why, user, but that brought me to tears. I'm sorry for what I have to do, but its something that needs to be done. I honestly don't think that someone like me should continue to live, why else would people treat me this way? I've tried to see a therapist before, and that led to one of the worst experiences of my life. I'm sorry...its just that it seems talking to other people hasn't ever worked out for me.
If there is an otherside, I'll be sure to let you know. Though honestly i truly hope there isn't. I breed axolotls, thats not exactly a puppy but i think they're cute
I've seen this advice on a lot of suicidal threads.
>lol just go traveling bro
But how? I'm not the OP and the core of my issues is being broke while stuck in a third world shithole, I can't afford traveling, I can barely afford surviving... I can't just sell my stuff either because fuck am I going to do when my little adventure is over?
If I simply could just go traveling like that I wouldn't even be depressed to start with.
What makes you think that 'something' has to be ending it all?
I know this is a bit of armchair psychology, but based on my own experience thinking about it, you feel like you've tried "everything" when that's probably not the case, so your mind gets desperate and shoots for something more extreme than anything else you've tried. Suicide is damn near as extreme as it gets, and you're at a point that all that's desired is results, because nothing else seems to have gotten you results. the desperation of that situation makes one no longer concerned about the type of results they're getting, maybe it's just the desire to see real cause and effect to escape your situation.
to be fair, im projecting a bit based on my own xp and encounters with other people. But the point is going for a more extreme action rarely equates to something positive, it's not a good thing to seek change for its own sake.
>it seems talking to other people hasn't ever worked out for me.
I feel that. i've come across people that just have some shitty RNG when it comes to seeking an outlet. I think the key is to come across someone who's willing to listen and be patient instead of jumping to conclusions or seeking their own immediate benefit.
I could try to be that guy if it'd help. you got skype/discord/IRC/etc?
Noone should have to live the way I do, so I'm sorry user if you can relate to me. If you have anyone, let them know how you feel. I'll still be here for a bit if you want someone to talk to
He ment well, though i agree that traveling wouldn't help the majority of people.
I'm sorry to hear that you live in a third world, user. Its shitty how someones quality of life could be decided at birth. Being poor sucks, I live off of ramen and peanut butter. From one poorfag to another, I hope it works out, user
i should rephrase, it's not a good thing to seek out change without a direction applied to it, a direction you can justify.
If you kill yourself your "friends" will say some bullshit about how much they cared about you so they can get sympathy points
Don't give them that
Still here OP?
pic can be related if you want it to be
Fuck everyone senpai.
user, thank you for everything you have said. Thank you for trying to understand my situation, I know it sounds girly but you are truly the nicest person I have talked to in 2 years. And that is what makes this so hard to say; I am about as far gone as it gets. I have been at this stage multiple points in my life, but it has never been as bad as this. Does it sound weird that its like an urge? Its the same as trying not to cough, or the feeling of being thirsty and wanting water. Sometimes I lay at night with my arms wrapped around my knees because I know if I get up I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I'm so fucking pathetic, user. I had to lay down and stop myself crying when I read your reply. You just being nice to me truly stings. Thats how weak i am. I'm sorry user, but I'd be too scared to talk to you if I gave you my discord. I've never met someone nice without a bad intention.
Welcome to my world OP. Been alone for a long time. Everyone that I make conversation with, it's always jokes. Never anything serious. They'll tell you all about their problems but the minute you bring up yours, you're an automatic kill joy. I'd rather be in a coma. Humans are fucking cancer. No wonder God wants to burn us all. I don't blame Him.
I have noone, user. Theres no contacts in my phone, nothing on anything. The only person who would know i was dead would be the cleaning lady.
Thats awful, user. I'm sorry that noone will listen to you, that world you live in is one that I know well. I don't really know whats its like to joke with people though, that whole situation sounds unfair. I think even if people can be hurtful at times there has to be a reason why, right? I really hope you can find a true friend, user.
I'm glad you feel that way about me, thank you.
I have a good idea of what you mean in terms of the urge, yea. I have OCD, so that helps.
Is it crazy that I see you as stronger than you say? I dont mean that in a "you have so much to live for" blanket comment kinda way. It just sorta... makes sense . You've given so much and gotten back so little, yet you're still here, and you've done an amazing job at retaining kindness and haven't grown bitter despite everything. That's something more people need, and something i try very hard to work on.
>I'm so fucking pathetic, user
>I'd be too scared to talk to you if I gave you my discord. I've never met someone nice without a bad intention
I understand. it seems like you've met a lot of people that have taken advantage of you, and that's fucked up. I really only have one ulterior motive to gain by talking to you, besides your company.
That being, I'd like to share a couple of stories with you in private. I've dragged my ass across rock bottom multiple times, and still found my way to fall through the bedrock beyond that. My ass is still sore from that persay. I still think a lot about those moments, obsessively and not very pleasantly, and I've never really gotten anyone to talk to about them. I think you'd be one to understand. Plus, these hard-mode on Google captchas are getting annoying kek, but it's well worth it to continue the conversation with you man.
Sorry, user. I was giving it some thought. Its been so long since any of this has happened so please understand. We can text if you'd like but actually talking to you is still really intimidating and I'm not ready for that in the place I am right now. Here, user. I owe it to you at this point. i had to change the "." to DOT because of the spam bot discordDOTgg
wanna reiterate that im being serious about continuing to talk. if you want, i can give you my discord acc first.
i wasnt going to doxx you but alright
Hi op
I really hope things get better for you
Do you have a discord? I'd be down to talk if you are
im sorry anons, i can only really handle one person at once right now. Thank you though, really. I'm sorry i couldn't get to you, im kinda a mess
It's ok user, whatever is best for you.
I wish I could help but I don't know anything.
Life is fucking weird isn't it
digital hug
hi OP. i just wanted to say i'm glad you're taking the steps you need to feel comfortable accepting help from other people here. even the loneliest people are never truly alone. i hope it works out for you and you begin to build some lasting bonds. remember you are loved.
I have no friends. Just weed, this board and with some anonymity, you.
I'm so fucking lonely. I'd try to love you user. You seem like a good person. I wish you the best.
I love you :(
Thats really nice of all of you to say, im not really used to this kind of support so thank you, really. I don't know what im doing right now, all of this is new to me. I just wish everyone the best
that isn't okay to feel lonely like me, user. For you to even reply to something like this means you deserve alot more than what you feel right now. I'm sorry its like that for you, user. I don't want anyone to feel like me, noone should. You can't survive alone on just weed, believe me I've tried it. You seem like a good person too, user. But you wouldn't want to get involved in someone like me
OP cut the internet out, cut out alot of this shit too. Dont become a victim I know it's an intoxicating feeling to blame everything else on others. To run away from yourself and flee from responsibility. No matter what you'll end up in this state of mind. You need to get back to real life, I was a wreck like you but I'm building the foundations and ready to get back into life. It still bothers me, everything that happens but we need to keep moving forward. If we have legs we can keep walking, so keep heading forward no matter what life throws at you. Eventually you'll get mad and want to take life by the hair and fuck her. Happiness isn't something you find but it's something you create. It can be anything, hobbies or anything like that, find something and cling onto it. Pain is going to be inevitable, the first part will have the most resistance, you will so bad want to go back to your old life. I still go back here and there and am tempted but I wont let it happen. Developing good habits and changing your environment will help massively. Taking cold baths, stop looking at porn, stop going on online, stop eating unhealthy, read more.All you need to do is one habit and the rest will start to follow. Start to integrate into real life if you have to too. Alot of people here are addicted to discord but it never helps. Using it to substitute social interaction is like using porn to substitute sex. You're not getting the real thing, so dont settle for anything less than that. Remember though you will be bad at first, it will take time until you get good. Socializing is a skill you need to refine it. In order to grow you must taste defeat but dont let it bother you. Enjoy the taste of defeat and let it motivate you.Dont become a victim, you're much more, you can become someone but it will take a ton of hard work. Were all in this together, we can make it. Nothing good ever comes easy, if it does it isn't good. So seize the moment user, I believe in you.
I felt just like you but let's not settle for the scraps robot. Were much more than that. I've hit many lows of my life and felt like dying multiple times, but I wont let them win, I wont become some nameless anime avatar. No were going to do much more but it's not here user. This is a shithole a place where people go to die. Run and make that jump, you have an idea.
Pure sex come for the best nudes, hot females and traps here.
discord gg/dmB39ty
It comes for us one way or the other just be ready