Being poor is dying of cancer from birth. There is nothing worse than being poor. There is no respite in life...

Being poor is dying of cancer from birth. There is nothing worse than being poor. There is no respite in life, but being poor and ugly is essentially proof that hell exists. I'm 33, I've never been on a plane in my life. I do not know what vacation means. HKHV, neet, living with parents because in our culture it's normal (I live in the west) and was raised to think this was okay. I've been friendless my whole life. I know so much about tech and follow it religiously. From the age 12 to 22 I wanted so badly to build a pc. Even used throwaway parts were to expensive for me. I just wanted to try it out. I had to wait until I was 25 after saving years of neetbux to finally be able to. I tried getting a job before that, but I wouldn't get hired anywhere because of my race even though I'm white and look 100% Italian. Racism is wildly rampant here. To the point that when I was young 18 year old skinheads would physically attack me. We're talking 5 years old and younger. That's behind me though as I was a key part in a skinheads child's death so I feel karmahamayha was dealt, but I digress due to wild adhd. Anyways, growing up in that environment lead me to drop out of high school due to mentally being harassed to the point of either shooting the place up (too poor to afford a gun :c) or losing what little I had left of my decayed mind. But hey who needs people, fuck em. Despite the seclusion after dropping out and further seclusion by attaining the agoraphobia skill keeping me house-ridden for like 16+ years.. What was horrible about that was the fact that we were and still are so poor that we literally have nothing to do, ever. Our lives are essentially window-shopping. Every human experience is beyond me. I don't even know what it is like to be in the presence of someone who isn't my mother or father. I don't have a life. Every day has been the same for so long that my memories stopped recording. I don't remember the last 20 years, no, really.
>cont

Attached: 1543282062511.jpg (2560x1600, 764K)

Other urls found in this thread:

today.uic.edu/growing-up-poor-and-stressed-as-a-child-impacts-brain-function-as-an-adult
nature.com/news/how-poverty-affects-the-brain-1.22280
science.sciencemag.org/content/341/6149/976
nature.com/news/poverty-shrinks-brains-from-birth-1.17227?WT.mc_id=TWT_NatureNews
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

And before that is such a haze that I don't even know if it ever happened. I saved up some neetbux and went into an electronic store hoping to get a decent tv... Only to realize the pricing is designed for the top 20% of the population while the rest of the pop settles for inferior, overpriced, garbage. It's enough to make you want to Sandy Hook. There are guys out there who have 40 women on standby daily who never EVER sit home who don't even know what pain feels like yet they have the best electronics in their gigantic homes. "They worked for it" oh shut the fuck up. You get the MOTIVATION to ACHIEVE by POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT. Poor Dad Rich Dad. Give it a read, I sure as shit haven't as I don't need books to teach me what I thought was common sense. Left the store and went straight to pick up some booze. Have the bottle infront of me right now on the table. I don't like what booze does to me. I have so much pain and anguish bottled up, lol, that when I drink I can quite easily spiral into a even more miserable state. I just want one joy. One thing to take my mind off this nightmare. I missed out on life. I am mid 30s and I've never held a girls hand. I never went out with friends. I don't even know how to drive a car because the family was so poor that we didn't have one and the license fee was too expensive. I missed out on life. Even guys who get life in jail sentences usually have had more life joy than I ever will, yet ironically they're out there killing people. I'm fed up. I've been fed up since I was 8 years old. Being treated like human waste by everyone around me, even the adults who are supposed to prevent that from happening to a child when I was younger, it really sets you up to be a failure.
>cont

Attached: tired.png (224x254, 131K)

Whatever hurts me doesn't make me stronger, it just adds another wait to the chain that is holding me back from life. I don't want to wake up tomorrow but I don't want to die all the same. I'm just so fucking fed up of everything. I just want to know what it means to be alive for one day, just one, because I'm so tired of being dead. inb4 man-up, racist remarks, telling me it's my fault or any other such articulated vomit.

Discussion: Misery of the poor.

Attached: maxresdefaulteryhgreyh.jpg (1280x720, 42K)

k

u ever played terraria?

haha, cry harder, nobody cares

I did, once. Felt like I was simulating my life so I quickly uninstalled the game. I was playing isolation to exit my own isolation, didn't mesh well.

Attached: ...png (1655x975, 551K)

I dont know what to say OP. The following lines summarize my case as well
>Our lives are essentially window-shopping. Every human experience is beyond me.
> I missed out on life. I am mid 30s and I've never held a girls hand. I never went out with friends.
Being poor locks you out of living any and all experiences. Even robots who had fucked up childhoods but full of wealth have it better than us, they will say no we dont uh yes you did, because for good or bad you LIVED, OP didnt.

To know there is someone out there who genuinely understands this blight gives me a weary sense of peace. Not feeling alone, even if through these means, means a lot to me.. But all the same I feel all the more anguish knowing someone understands this hell. I am truly sorry, friend.

Attached: 7506aba0e0f36e068ddf5b3adf5cb997f07ae19956208de9b1ccc224920e933f.jpg (1024x683, 102K)

It should be added that there are experiences to be had... but they all involve illegal activities basically and/or are limited in time and stats like all government programs being temporary. Just making that clear in case some fucker was thinking of that. It definitely doesn't help being taunted all the time by ads.

You don't have to be rich, or have sex, or have friends. You don't have to be happy, either. The pursuit of happiness is a false idol. A miserable experience of life is an experience none the less. But even in misery you don't have to be miserable. It's up to you how you decide to look on things.
If my post seems too mellow or preachy or just not good reddit normie yuppie hipster buddhism eastern philosophy trash, then it's probably time for you to take some action in your life and do something extremely drastic, like rob a jewelry store or set an orphanage on fire.

Attached: 1561187115606.jpg (750x743, 77K)

>time for you to take some action in your life and do something extremely drastic, like rob a jewelry store or set an orphanage on fire.
Not OP but I don't want to become a thug. Oddly enough I agree wholeheartedly with
>You don't have to be happy, either. The pursuit of happiness is a false idol. A miserable experience of life is an experience none the less. But even in misery you don't have to be miserable.
You can only fight for so long though. Free will is a meme by the way, "it's up to you" only to the extent you believe the lie, I do and it helps but every once in a while the facade falls off and you're left to face the raw, gruesome, soul-shattering reality of your situation. This is not even about le meme tfw no gf or about not having friends (to whom you will hardly be able to relate anyway, even around a place like this as noted by the lack of interest in OPs thread, very few know what he's talking about) but about being extremely limited when it comes to your options to experience life and much needed escapism.

Wish the skinheads had finished the job

>I was a key part in a skinheads child's death
>Anyways,
no, that's not how this works

What's your plan for the upcoming years OP?

Might as well do something crazy for all those years, have you tried selling drugs?

They tried, but unfortunately for the one who did he ended up with his skull cracked wide open by means of a metal baseball bat. My father was in the military from where he came from and that rat didn't make it passed the balcony. All his skinhead buddies watched as his limp body was clumsily lifted over the balcony railing as my father refused to allow the paramedics to come in as they might spill "pig blood" on his carpet. He was asking which one of them wanted to die next as the cop was taking information on what happened from my mother. Soon after a lot of arabs and blacks moved in and the skinheads left the complex all together. I'm not pro-white-hate but if you're going to be a piece of shit you deserve to be treated as such. Goes for any members of any race. Thinking back, remembering how they treated me and other people.. As a 33 year old man who's seen more hell on earth than you will ever know, I would not dare lay a single finger on a child. Only a coward would ever do such a thing.

As this user said earlier, I too cannot see myself living out any sort of "thug life." It's not in me to be that kind of person. I've seen what drugs do to people, good people. Something you learn to appreciate a lot more when put under so much stress is both hatred and compassion. It's maddening, but even though you hate so many people for so many reasons you also learn to value compassion like nothing else. I never want anyone to live life out the way I have. No living thing ever should. I don't know what I'm going to do. Probably go homeless when I lose my parents and, well, the scenario has played out in my head so much that I'd rather not talk about it. Sorry for disappointing.

When you are too poor climbing a rung on the socioeconomic ladder is not always possible, at least not in heavily unequal countries.

Do you think you can make ammends with the future.

You also sound like a really nice person, you talk about hating people (and I can imagine you hate those rich, ungrateful shitheads) but your words just tell me otherwise, like you are some kind of monk. And I can appreciate that very much, really poor people in my country often become hitmen or take part in the mafia, but you are one peaceful being that wishes no suffering on anyone.

I am sorry for you but I can do nothing for you either, this world needs more natality conciousness.

You've done more than you know, friend. To tell you the truth I posted my original posts expecting juvenile responses by those who never have known suffering or those who are looking to fill the void in their lives with the further misery of mine. I didn't create this thread looking for that attention, I just did it out of sheer frustration. I almost always bottle up my problems as I really don't have anyone to talk to so I've just grown used to it, but sometimes like today it just finds it's way out. Though instead of finding ridicule (for the most part) I'm shocked to see people who not only understand this blight, but appreciate it's severity. Kind of reminds me why I started browsing r9k as my main board all those years ago. It's ironic that you should call me a monk, though. I say that because I've been called a monk as ridicule throughout my life for being the person I am. Here in the west unless you're a heartless monster who wants nothing more than to see all those around you fail for your own gain, you aren't considered human. When I was younger I humored the ideas of taking up some kind of criminal lifestyle but something inside of me always held me back. It's just not who I am and to even attempt it would only serve to not only hurt someone, but hurt myself for betraying my own mind and heart. Anyways, I'm rambling, thank you for being so understanding. Again, it means a lot.

Don't worry, when I say I deeply appreciate your behaviour despite all your hardships, I fucking mean it. Damn and to top it off that's the kind of society that supposedly makes people commit crimes over inequality, the unfortunate hating, down looking "western" culture. There's no shame in being called a monk, few people have the resolve needed to become one, like I said, I wish I could help you but I can't even help myself, look for greener pastures even if it looks like the whole world is drying up, you may have not bought a good piece of land but you definetively, without a doubt, strenghtened your spirit in this ride.

Good night.

>Door knob is broken and dad fixes it with some wires that make it look cheap af
>Dad fixes seat bell with tape
>He constantly bitches about me basically getting pocket change from him
Honestly fuck that guy, he paid over fifty thousand for each of his daughters to study and take dick for nine year each but doesn't even give a shit about his son that will cost him the same amount or even less. My sister didn't even have a job for most of her studies and didn't move out yet despite being engaged.

Are you in school or are you a neet leeching off your parents? Be truthful.

I do not think you are even poor I live in a crumbling broken down house with my parents. It leaks when it rains. The windows are made of wood. Freezing cold draft coming in everywhere. The house is so cold in the winter I cannot even leave my room and I have dry skin all year and feel miserable.

Why the fuck do poor people have kids if this is the kind of miserable life they will live

Attached: 1564379080426.png (382x417, 242K)

Currently studying second year CS in a good university

>being poor is awful
>iam a neet

When i was a kid i worked with literal fucking deformed retards at shitty service jobs. You mean to tell me these retards had a leg up on?

none of this will matter in 100 years

Attached: 1563768574833.jpg (1080x1350, 147K)

>be poor
>basically only fun thing to do is drink and fuck
>drink and fuck a lot
>have kid
its inevitable, user

use condoms you negro, for fucks sake

good luck telling meth ridden sluts that are skimming the poverty line to use a condom
and for the record, ive never had kids, but i have had a poor mom and 3 brothers

today.uic.edu/growing-up-poor-and-stressed-as-a-child-impacts-brain-function-as-an-adult
nature.com/news/how-poverty-affects-the-brain-1.22280
science.sciencemag.org/content/341/6149/976
nature.com/news/poverty-shrinks-brains-from-birth-1.17227?WT.mc_id=TWT_NatureNews