What's a coward who's no longer afraid?

Has anyone ever recovered from a longstanding mental illness. Please share your story. I feel like I'm losing a part of myself.

Here's a song I like anyway, then. Thanks for stoppin' by.

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i want to give you a hug

I thought I did, it had been almost a year since I had any effects but I'm starting to feel it creep up on me again. Thinking about kms again...

>generalized anxiety
>panic disorder
>social anxiety
>bipolar 2

I've dealt with sexual abuse, drug addiction, self harm, and suicide attempts. I weighed 83 pounds at one point in time, I'm 5'4. I spent two weeks in a ward after I decided to walk down the street instead of cross the road. Now I have a really healthy group of friends, an active lifestyle that includes daily lifting and body building, and other than a hiccup with anorexia a few weeks ago I've had nothing go wrong. I feel like a person turned goddess but they know that using their powers isn't necessary. Instead I'm just getting the most out of the life I didn't have before. Just remember that there are people who would hate it if you weren't around anymore and that they want to see you be happy. Don't let yourself become obsessed with others, work for you and with those that actually care about you making it out the other end of the tunnel.

You can do it, I promise.

haha, thanks. I do like hugs, you know.

I've actually been thinking a lot about this kind of thing. It makes sense to me that the thought patterns developed while dealing with mental illness will always be there in some form. Is that what it feels like, or is it just that the original feelings are returning?

Ignoring my ramblings, what's it like for something like that to disappear completely? Willing to share your story? I'll listen.

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eyy, that was actually my exact height and weight I think. I may have been a few inches taller I guess, but yeah. Anorexia is fucking scary, and I'm glad you're still here too.

For yourself, is it more that you know how to cope far better than you did before, or have fears and impulses completely faded?

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I feel like I can actually deal with whatever comes my way. Of course I still get scared, nervous, or have days where mania makes me want to cause problems but I have the ability to turn around and tell myself that I'm tough and strong and that I don't have to give in anymore. I can live the way I want to.

I've had severe "issues" since I was 6, so I get pretty confused trying to picture what normal might be like. To me it sounds like a lot of what you struggled with is still in the back of your head, it just isn't able to interfere with your life or choices anymore. Is that a decent interpretation?

I'm sorry my rabbit looks angry, I'm not actually. Lmao

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Yeah pretty much. It's like when you have a bad injury that you always feel but you had it fixed so you hurt but it doesn't stop you from doing what you want anymore.

>oooh look at me i have a mental disorder oh woe is me

kys t. avatar king

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I guess I just... I mean at my worst I've pretty much always been functional. For example, I go to class, it's just that I'll be spending the whole time trying not to panic or pass out. I'm getting sad picturing that as what you're saying in some sense. That you're still dealing with very real symptoms, it's just that you know how to function despite them.

Another possible interpretation: when I was a little kid I spent a few months doing the whole unable to eat, hand washing 200 times, disease tracking thing. That's gone mostly, but I still "track" things like that in some capacity. I guess I described it to my therapist as just doing everything related to old issues deliberately. A conscious awareness and rejection of old impulses.

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I spend a large part of my time on here trying to use my experiences to help others. I'm just trying to get some advice for myself, man.

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Well it's like, I live without fear of those problems affecting me but once I get home after a long day I still have to lay down and deal with a little pain. I don't think my brain will ever work how it's supposed to but I can exist comfortably now.

oh! That sounds quite nice, actually. I can live with that, and I'm really glad you've found that much peace. I'm putting a lot into working on things, so hopefully I'll be there soon. Thank you for sharing.

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It'll get better if you let it. You're going to mess up a lot so don't let that stop you. Just pick yourself up and keep going, there isn't any other way. Also remember that sometimes you really should just have a day to relax in the garden every once in a while.

Help yourself by showing me your tits.

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I'm a guy, dummy.

Show me tits. As your king, i command thee.

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yeah, still male(male)(guy)(dick possessed)(having penis)(phallic as fuck)

>these (shills) trying to posit themselves as me

Kill yourselves you tranny retards

You sound like a certain Norwegian girl who larps as a tranny to gain recognition.

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you are a tranny as well as the other shill don't post here or you'll end up dead

How am i a tranny when i am manly as fuck with a girlfriend thats pregnant? Stfu fake christ, you cant kill the Devil's son.

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I love how everyone annoyed with me seems to have missed every single one of my posts... What the hell have I done that you would interpret as "larping." Every single word I've posted I'd say to someone in real life. I'm pretty confused, honestly.

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Akko dumb
Akko stupid

poster rude

I just came back from working 2 weeks straight. My only day off is today and i see a new avatarfag. I like to greet new avatarfags like this because its how i get to know them.

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*decapitates your heads off*

hmmm, sorry I guess. How isn't the dog here yet btw... At any rate, I'm just a lad longpostin' all over the board because it's made me stop wanting die.

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Im still posting looks like you're a fake jesus christ

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Implying I want to use that amount of force right now I'm simply telling you to fuck off and not post here you worthless shill

If you are Jesus then I must be Lucifer.

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shill...? Why do you keep using a word you don't understand. Who's paying me? Is this you trying to imply I'm trans again?

He is a meth head who thinks growing a beard and being a bum makes him Jesus.

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you're just a retarded faggot and I am destroying you in the other thread you made to protest me

you're a lefty shill trying to impose on my turf and posit yourself as me to psyop people. You retarded as well as the other chink

just say (ignore me) next time. Genuinely the last time I give any of this nonsense a (you)

Your picture, i want her licking my sweaty hairy balls.

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I haven't but I hope you get better with time.

Btw I loved LWA, and for a long time I joked around having Lotte as a waifu. Good to see another fan I guess

Not really recovered, but I learned to get it somewhat under control, like back in the day, my mood swings were so hard that I could be joyful and hyperactive at one point and switch to being completely down and cutting myself in under a minute. And although I still think about cutting myself every so often I don't immediately grab the next best razor blade and do it. I would call that an improvement.
Why do you feel like you are losing part of yourself tho?

promise me you wont scroll up, lmao. My poor thread's been ravaged by savages.

That's definitely an improvement, ya. It's really hard for me to define the intensity of feelings increasing or decreasing like that for some reason. I can't shake the sense that I could just randomly start feeling as terrified (etc...) as I did before. Maybe that trust in yourself and your own improvement just takes time. A lot of what I've been dealing with has been dependent on triggers, so it's kinda easy for me to think "well things are ok NOW, but what if...."

>why do you feel like you are losing part of yourself
I've had really severe anxiety and panic issues since I was 6. That kind of constant fear dramatically shapes how you react to just about every single scenario. I'm losing a lot of what shaped who I am, and what I do. If that paralyzing fear just isn't there anymore, I'm all that's left to make decisions. That's a completely knew feeling for me. Does that make sense?

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>promise me you wont scroll up
Ok, I promise although I already read everything that has been said before in this thread I shall not scroll up again.
>It's really hard for me to define the intensity of feelings increasing or decreasing like that for some reason.
For a long time this was also the case for me but my mood swings got so intense that you couldn't really miss it, just to tell some story, back in high school I once switched from being normally happy to ramming my knee into the balls of a good friend in under 5 seconds. Or something more current about two hours ago I felt like shit about something and was full on depressed being like life isn't worth living and everyone hates me anyways, and now I'm like yeah shits alright. So it is kinda pretty fucking noticeable. Oh yeah and as both stories suggest triggers can be a real problem but nothing I can really do against that so yeah.
>I've had really severe anxiety and panic issues since I was 6. That kind of constant fear...
I think I get that although I have no anxiety disorder I can at least to some degree relate to it with other disorders.

I think the defense mechanisms I have are a large part of what I meant by not being able to really gauge severity. I can be completely and utterly terrified (I almost crashed my car while my - quite a bit younger - brother was in the back seat and it was nothing, comparatively), but still have a part of myself that's just a passive observer. I don't know how to describe that other than it just feels like there's a place in my mind I can retreat to that's just like "huh, guess we're panicking again." It's what lets me function, really. Anyway, the point is I'm so used to detaching myself from my feelings that I'm having a hard time deciding when they're real or not. Would it be possible for you to experience the kind of overpowering emotions you've described, but still act, physically, as though nothing's changed. I think that's what I'm trying to describe. Is it the action that proves the intensity, or are the emotions something removed from that? I've been saying I'm a lot better than I was before, but I just spent the last few days quite suicidal again. Ah well... I think this is a rambling mess, but I'll post it anyway.

As to the second point, I've been thinking a lot about the struggle between impulses and doubt. Between the first thought and the second. I think the clearest way I can explain how anxiety is that you always follow that second, doubting thought rather than the first. I just get the sense that if I start following the first, I'm suddenly a completely, staggeringly different person.

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