Alright robots, tell us about the first time you jerked off, and what to

Alright robots, tell us about the first time you jerked off, and what to.

Personally I just flew off the deep end. Had saved money from my paper route to buy a small TV for my room. I went the "paperclip antenna" route as I couldn't afford a real one, and my family didn't have cable. 2:30 in the morning in the middle of Winter, managed to pick up an Italian channel from the next town over.

But this wasn't just any porn, oh no. I distinctly remember it and haven't been able to find it since. This woman was working, guys being assholes. Comes home and her boyfriend's an asshole too. She wishes that he was nicer (along the lines of "walk in my shoes"), and he gets transformed into a woman. Except it wasn't just lesbian sex from there out, it was the bf doing voiceover for the woman who was now playing "him", and the gf basically walking him through things.

First time I'd ever cum, never even had a wet dream before. It was phenomenal.

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I beat off to the image of my english teachers ass. I just remember cumming and just being surprised. That english teacher was a slut tho looking back

Futanari on futanari hentai. I was 16. Fml.

I came hands free from watching a foot fetish porn for the first time

Think it was a nude black chick with a big ass on AOL. Back then when big asses were rare af.
One image took like a few minutes to load...

I just jerked off in my bed. I was old enough to know what I was doing but I didn't have anything in mind or to look at. Weird in retrospect.

>Be six years old
>Parents forced me to wear underwear when I turned five
>Already loved the sensations that wearing Pampers gave me and didn't ever want to stop
>Also get first computer when I was six
>Search "diaper", "pee", etc.
>Discover porn, and sites like DPF ("Diaper Pail Friends") and Deeker... fucking hell
>Probably what got me started on touching myself, if it wasn't the diaper commercials on TV
>Too small to stroke, also didn't see anyone jerk off so what I would do is just use my index finger and push my penis back into my body and rub around that way, which to this day was still the most pleasurable way for me to fap and I miss being that tiny
>Playing Gran Turismo on PS1
>Crash car with the new DualShock controllers
>It vibrates greatly when crashing
>Hmmm...
>Drive 40 or so MPH just scraping against a guard rail most of the time and ramming into it repeatedly to enjoy the vibrations as I grind the controller against my crotch - though I don't think it was enough to get off, IIRC
>Want to emulate the feeling of wetting myself in diapers again
>Start sitting on toilet in my underwear and stuff it with toilet paper
>Blast it with piss
>Feels fucking great but it doesn't swell up... feels sad man
>Discover "back massager" in cabinet
>Mash it into pissy underwear
>Most intense orgasms ever, and did it daily 4-10 times a day for about three years until it disappeared, probably because my parents must've found out what was going on but didn't approach me about it
You guys have no idea how bad I feel for wasting as much toilet paper as I did. I can't believe my parents never questioned me about it... all that literally down the drain, Jesus...

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I was 11 years old. I had already been curious about sex a lot and got access to unsupervised internet at home, which I quickly used to try to find pictures of naked girls from games/anime I liked (I specifically remember looking for pictures of Tifa naked, before I knew the term "hentai"). I couldn't find any since I didn't know the proper way to search for this stuff, but I discovered smut fanfictions and read a bunch of them with my dick hard but without touching it because I didn't know what masturbation was yet. Through those fanfictions, I learned about hentai, so I searched for that, but the first one I discovered was about a man raping a woman and pulling on her nipple piercing to torture her which made me vomit in disgust (I was young and fragile). Later I found some more vanilla hentai and I remembered one of the fanfics describing the man "moving his hand up and down his penis" or something like that. So I tried it and discovered masturbation this way, having my first fap to a doujin called Evagelimoon.

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i was 14 and was really scared. all my friends talked about it nonchalantly but i had never tried to actually reach orgasm. one night a girls gone wild infomercial was on and i was bored so just kept jerking it until i firehosed cum on some dirty laundry. i felt so sick from guilt and the cramping that i tried to vomit in the bathroom and even thought about waking up my parents. needless to say i was a very uptight kid and highly neurotic.

>Turn 10
>Dick grows to two inches
>Can't press it in like a button and rub anymore
>Learn to jerk it the normie way
>One year later
>In my bed at 1 or 2 AM beating off in my bed with the lights off, in a purposely uncomfortable position while hiding under the sheets as usual, because I was a pussy who would see purple humanoid figures walking around the house at night
>Always lock myself into a very uncomfortable position every night from age 8 to 21 where I would bury the edges of my blanket under my body so nothing could pull it off me or poke/press into the gaps (it happens)
>Right leg up and bent into a 45 degree angle
>Left leg on the bed and bent to the right against my right ass cheek
>Left arm sticking straight out with elbow cocked so my hand can shield my eyes and nose
>Right arm pressed against my side as to not stick out of the 'flat' spot on my blanket formed by my head and right leg
>I did this as a form of camoflague so the spirits wouldn't recognize a human shape and leave me alone (seems to have worked 99% of the time)
Anyway
>Jacking it to being diapered by whatever harem of mommy gfs I dreamed of, be it cartoons, video game characters, my first grade teacher, my first crush, etc.
>Feel like I need to pee but it feels really good
>Feel super hot thick splooge blast out and am immediately paralyzed in fear thinking it's blood
>Feel up the slightly sticky wetness
>OH GOD OH JEEZ IT'S BLOOD OH FUCK HOW AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN THIS FUCKSHITFUCK
>I sleep with the TV remote inside my blankie cover
>Turn TV on so the room lights up and any ghost niggas fuck off
>Pull myself out of my cocoon to inspect damage
>Too dark to see anything
>Remember hearing something like keeping a wound upright or whatever so blood doesn't pour out as much
>Throw right leg off bed, pull myself out with right arm, keeping body flat still as if I'm still on the bed
>Literally crabwalk to the light switch for better visual analysis
>No blood, WTF
>Don't fap for 1 night