How do I get over the bullying I recieved in highschool? It's been years since it happened...

How do I get over the bullying I recieved in highschool? It's been years since it happened, but I'm still fucking livid and angry over it.

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track them down and get revenge or shut the fuck up and get over it

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>shut the fuck up and get over it

That's literally what I'm asking, user. How do I get over it?

You stop thinking about it. It stops being something that pops into your mind every now and then. If you lack the willpower to do this, fill your empty time with nice distractions. Hobbies. People. Dungeon Meishi, for instance, is a great example of one such avenue for this.

lmao, have sex and stop being an incel

If you hypothetically killed them months apart with different methods it's unlikely you would be caught. Assuming you're not a moron.

I unironically got over my bullies by realizing free will isn't real. How humans decide to act is just the result of everything that shapes their personality, none of which they can ultimately control. You can attempt to consciously act differently of course, but if and how you do that and how successful you are at it is also just contingent on your personality from before.
Consider this: If you were your bullies (I mean if you had the same genes, same upbringing, same environment etc., basically if you had the same body including the same brain right down to every atom) and were in the same situation as your bullies, you would have acted the same way.
Alternatively, consider the case of Charles Whitman. He killed his wife, mom and a bunch of other people. After his death, they did an autopsy and found a tumor pressing on his amygdala in his brain, which explains why he was overcome with random inexplicable rages and went on a killing spree as a result. I think you would agree he was a poor guy, that we should pity him for having ended up like that. After all, if someone else had the same condition, they would have acted the same way. But the more you think about ALL the influences that make a person who they are, the more all of them look like tumors. If you are just an asshole because you had bad genes and a bad environment, then you are just a victim of your genes and environment in the same way Whitman was a victim of his tumor.
Sam Harris put it much better than I can on Joe Rogans Potcast. It's a bit long but quite insightful: youtube.com/watch?v=aAnlBW5INYg

Just talk about it. Let those feelings out.

But I don't want to feel pity for them. I want them to choke on their own blood and teeth.
There's nobody I can really talk to about it. If I were to tell my therapist that I have homicidal thoughts then I'd be locked away, right?

>If I were to tell my therapist that I have homicidal thoughts then I'd be locked away, right?

No. I talk about killing and torturing with my therapist. The only way they would is if they felt you were an immediate threat to someone/urself.

>But I don't want to feel pity for them. I want them to choke on their own blood and teeth.
But user, I'm pointing out that that doesn't make sense in the first place if you think about it. You may as well be mad at a dogturd for stepping in it.

That's a bit different though. That dog turd didn't spread rumors about me and destroy my social circle. That dog turd didn't mug and beat the shit out of me in the middle of the night while I was coming home from a friend's house. Do you see my problem here? I don't care if their behavior isn't their fault, I want to take a fucking blender to their genitals and watch them twitch and convulse in agony.
I don't know, I kind of feel like it wouldn't be very beneficial. I've been in this rut for years, just keeping my angry thoughts to myself. What good could a therapist do?

>What good could a therapist do?
Its becomes an outlet for you to use. Let those types of emotions out. They will only eat you up from inside if you keep them bottled up.

I don't keep them bottled up though. I beat the ever loving shit out of my punching bag when I have violent outbursts, I'll bite on my arm until I draw blood, etc. I don't keep these feelings repressed, but they just keep getting stronger and stronger.

So hypothetically, if you knew that they only bullied you because they were being mind controlled, would you still feel the same way about them?

It's hard to say, but right now my gut is telling me no. I would still hold absolute contempt towards them.

pull an adam lanza

Then you're being irrational. Holding someone responsible for something that they ultimately weren't really free to control is unfair.

That's ridiculous. Everyone that is sane still has agency. You can't justify horrific actions with "he a good boy deep down!' Nobody ever gave me that fucking courtesy when I did wrong things in my life. I was taken to task, I felt guilty, and I worked my ass off to change. Why the fuck can't other people do it? Why am I expected to work harder and pull more weight than anyone else?

No no, you misunderstand me, I'm not saing everybody is a secretly good person deep down, I'm saying that everything that determines wether you are a good or bad person is contingent on variables that you didn't engineer. You didn't pick your genes, your environment, your peers or anything else that turned you into who you are. Of course people still have agency, but that agency is determined. Horrifc actions are still horrific, wether they are commited freely or not. It still makes sense to avoid bullies, or to lock dangerous people up. But that doesn't mean those people were really free to be any other way.
Look, I get your confusion. You think because we make conscious choices, and therefore free will exists, but that is only the case if those choices are free. And if our choices are ultimately entirely contingent on variables outside of our control, which they are, then they are not free.

try to get revenge. i got it. not fisical, but emotional.

Maybe youre not outletting your anger, which is why it still resides after all these years. You ever try smashing plates and cups? I also think its possible that you have a persistent anger because a part of you has latched itself to the meaning behind your bullying, and you have not sufficiently metamorphasized into someone who those past bullying intents would not apply to. For example, if i was bullied for being short, but i grow tall, that bullying would no longer apply itself as accurately to my self perception, so it would be much easier to shrug off. The problem occurs when you are attacked for some aspect that you identify personally with.

OP's literally too dumb too understand there's no point in trying to explain

Kill a bunch of kids that had nothing to do with it?