Does self improvement work?

i became more confident and charismatic and attractive. not chad levels but enough to get laid once in a while and make friends whereever i went and to get long term gfs. what i did or what happened to me isnt the norm and i wont pretend like it is but its possible

mind sharing how you did it? I tried being social but my mind just ends up going blank

i started working out when i was 17 and lost a lot of weight. went to college, and learned how to drink which made my inhibitions go away. i made some new friends andone of them introduced me to a job at a fast fashion clothing store with tons of young qt coworkers and i learned how to be good at conversation from there. again what i did wont work for everyone and its not even an easy option. i lucked out because i had a friend in hs who helped me work out and went to a big state school and had some more social friends invite me to parties which just indicates i never had it too bad to begin it i was just the fat funny guy in my social circle in hs who never got any attention from girls because i was ugly and sperged out and i didnt party earlier because i was a christfag back then

It's a rather vague and meaningless term that really just boils down to "make things better somehow". Things such as appearance, hobbies, and charisma are so widely regarded by society as important and things to care about that in most people's minds it automatically equates to 'makes you better' if you improve them. So that's what people are usually referring to when they say 'just self-improve'. Of course, these make you better in the sense that more people will like you the way you are afterwards because people like charismatic, good-looking, or 'interesting' people in some shape or form. But that doesn't matter for your actual mental health aside from if you find that fulfilling or it makes you proud or whatever. The question is if whether it affects your mind. It would probably have to change the chemical makeup of your mind to make you start feeling happy feelings. I don't know if that's possible, and it's hard to know whether it's directly linked to whatever you're doing that's considered 'self-improvement' considering it's such a broad and vague term. But if happy chemicals are supposed to make you more motivated and yet you have sad chemicals that make you less motivated, then I don't know how you're supposed to start self-improving. It turns into another one of those platitudes where you feel sad and the only way to solve it is to 'just do things', whether or not you care about those things at all. Good luck, I guess?

So you always were a turbonormie who lucked out really hard in life? Fuck off, all you had to do was not be a fat fuck.

All you have to do is not be an asshole.

3 self-improvement things I did VASTLY improved my life
>lucid dreaming
>sleeping 7-8 hours a day
>forcing myself to exercise 1-2 hours a day

i could go deeper into my own personal issues but whats the use? its likely not going to apply to you and most people reading my post. i just softballed my problems because it may be more relatable. i agree that i didnt have it as bad as many on this board but there are also many younger anons here who think their lives are over because of one small problem they can easily fix but still deem as impossible. im not trying to reach you or anyone 'worse off' than i was i just want to try and light a fire under the asses of those lazy anons who think life is over because they are young and have little to no perspective

it depends on if you mean self improvement in general, or the flowchart that people post here constantly. reading meditations, not masturbating and lifting weights aren't going to change everyone's life.

self improvement is mostly a meme. you can get better, but only up to a point, you most likely aren't going to transform yourself into some highly successful rich handsome guy. that transformation shit is just nonsense that self-help gurus tell you so they can con you into buying their books.
all this self help shit mostly revolves around a couple things. working out, making more money, and improving your personality.
working out is by far the easiest thing you can do to improve yourself. that's why so many people fall into it, because it's easy as shit and there is nothing special about it. you lift things, put them down, and if you do it consistently your body looks better
making decent money is complicated, and improving your personality is probably the most difficult thing you can do and its almost impossible. why are you you and not someone else? if personality was so easy to change then you should be able to pick someone and copy everything they do and it would work. it doesn't work like that. that's why when a normie comes here and tries to relate to us we can all see through the bullshit. the same thing works the other way around, normies can all tell we are faking being a normie. you need to be a highly manipulative actor to fake a personality and make it seem like it's real.

>normies can all tell we are faking being a normie
Nah, most likelly you are just ugly.

well...yea. if you're ugly and try to act like a normie you're going to come off as a creepy try hard

>Most robots are too lazy to improve anything and are too spoiled to ever be satisfied/happy with anything.

Robots watch too much TV and movies. They assume there's going to be a reward for a goal. When they work hard and put in effort and achieve their goal...and then they don't instantly get a manic pixie dreamgirl gf, they'll get bitter as fuck.

I agree with you but how do you know this to be true? could you and me be wrong?

so you improved yourself, got nothing out of it, and now you have to act like you totally didn't expect anything when you started improving yourself
you aren't above it, sorry user, you're just a failure like everyone else here

No, it is just that things are a bit more complicated and effort isn't always the only factor in the equation.
For example having a beautiful physique is not just a result of working out, but good muscle insertions, good frame, good proportions and good height.

>be fat fuck
>decided to become fit
>become fit
>become basically addicted to lifting
>5 years later big guy 4 u

>be retard
>decide to be stop being retarded
>go to college in my mid 20s
>failed the first two semester despite studying every day
>have no skills worth a shit

>be khv
>decide to stop being a khv
>approach over 1000 women
>rejection rate 100% because I'm not Chad

The only thing you really can influence is your fitness, everything else is genetically determined.

wrong about what? personality? that's easy to prove. just because you decide to be something does not mean people will buy it. you can decide to be one of those retarded PUA types, but if you're some 5'3 manlet that looks like ben from lost, yea no one is going to buy it. your looks determine what you can get away with for your personality. there are anomalies, but you most likely aren't one of those anomalies.

Not him, but that line of thought goes for pretty much anything psychological. How do we actually know these things for a fact? Could we be wrong? How do we know what is actually responsible for certain human behaviors beyond vague concepts that are built on our preconceptions? Because there's no black-and-white, step-by-step from the beginning logical basis for human behavior. Even personality itself is vague.

>The only thing you really can influence is your fitness, everything else is genetically determined.

>muh genetics

It's always someone or something else's fault. If you truly are that genetically defective, you can't possibly contribute to society and may, in fact, pose a danger to it. Let's say, you get into a car accident and kill someone who is a contributor. Humanity is now twice as bad off because you're still alive and a potentially good person is dead.

you can help people even if your genes are shit.

Are you implying that ugly 5'3 manlets don't get laid?
Have you ever been in south america?

Fuck society
robot war now

It works if the goal is just to be an improved version of yourself. Other than that it's still a crapshoot that's mostly up to chance.

are you implying fucking disgusting fat goblinas is something to look forward to?

Yes it absolutely is, spoiled brat

a este chico le gustan los cerdos gordos jajaja

oh we're playing this game again.
i post this pic and ask you if you would fuck one of these girls
you reply and say no you would not, but beggars can't be choosers
do we really want to play this again? its boring

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My options have always included skinny, petite girls though. You want something you cant have and feel like its unfair but thats your problem.

so you would say you are a superior gentleman?
where do these facebook boomers come from lmao

There is hope for all of you. I am 27, was a hugless kisless virgin, with a shit job, have a 5 inch dick, and I live with my parents. I just got laid and I now have a 24 yo girlfriend . I went on dating apps I was just upfront about everything including living with my parents.
If you are upfront about everything before you get a date, it will make it a ton easier on you. Just be honest.

You will make it, but try to do it before 30.

no im a married 28 year old boomer. hows your life champ?

marriage must not be going so well if you have to post here
or do you just do it to gloat?
either way you're a joke

>disgusting fat goblinas
Oh user if only you knew how good things could be

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Does it work for what?

the only 5'3 manlet that gets a girl that looks like that is some psycho cartel member

>Just be honest.
So you told her that you are a virgin who lives with his parents and is poor?
God damn it, you probably look like pic related for her to not give a fuck about it

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I don't really think that it is the case user.
Latinas only care about you having middle class tier money and to act manly

and yet you dont have a gf that looks like that. interesting

>dodging the question
ha

so the same thing you just did?
ha

>no u!
so much for being a sexpert, lil guy

I have an average body and I am five foot 10. I would say she is a 7 out of 10.

Here is the way I look at it, if you are unattractive, and have nothing to lose anyway, why not just try and be honest? I know rejection is shit,as it took me so long to find someone, but there is really nothing to lose.

your marriage must give you strength, thats why you end up here

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It is not the rejection that i'm afraid of, but the potential of people talking shit about me.
Or maybe even becoming a meme, though i'm not even that ugly.

Well no shit nibba, i'm a neet.
As soon as i manage to get a job i will plan a vacation to south america and get a gf like that if not better

you're going to go down there and get robbed and thats about it

Have you been on the meetup app or site before? There are tons of meetups with chicks. What you should do it go to a meetup that has less people going, but also has chicks going, and since it isn't a dating app, there isn't really much pressure. It never got me laid or anything, but I was able to talk to women and it helped.

I think i will try my luck user, by the way i'm somewhat tall and fit

Yes, but:
>only for things that can be improved, e.g. you can learn to cope with mental illness but you'll probably still have it
>only if you eventually put down the book and do the work
>only if you want to change and are willing to go through the process of change
>only if you tackle the root cause of your problem
>only if you're not overloading yourself with a million things to do

Also one of the most common ways to grow as a person is by moderating your desires instead of achieving them.

thinking about improving myself with some HRT

Unless you can speak perfect spanish or have top tier social skills youll get ripped off by the public transport or strongarmed by the cops. Being tall and fit makes you a bigger target since you look like you have lotsa money. Enjoy your free pussy after those "taxes" tho.

You seem to misread the part where he lost weight and got invited to places, and at the same time got a normie job. The difference is that some people have unchangeable body features, while at the same time not even having sperg friends (much less Chads) or can't get jobs with actual humans

>meetup app or site before?
I don't have many interests user, i just lift, watch anime and shitpost on 4chin.
And i wouldn't want to expose myself as a anime watcher irl.

I am italian though, so i kinda look brownish and i know a bit of spanish.

>italian
then go get a southern italy bitch

Do it, man, it's worth it.

>can't get jobs with actual humans
Not him, but why user?
It is not like you have to have conversations with people all the time, some basic chit chat about work, gossip, tv, sports at worst, but in most cases people don't even talk that much.
Do you have some significant mental disorder that you think would prevent you from getting a basic job.

if that user is anything like me, he probably just fucking hates being fake. it's exhausting. i can be socially fake if i really need to be, but it's just so fucking draining that i hate doing it.

Why are you so angry about me potentially getting a latina gf?
Are you from south america? Don't be jealous user, there are plenty of women on this planet.

I pretended to like the "interest" groups I went out with, but had no interest in any of it. You can bs your way through crap.

There is nothing else you can really do to make friends as an adult, trust me, I have tried everything.

Yeah but most jobs don't require you to talk that much, exept for job related issues.

just learn to make it real.

yea it doesn't really work like that. do you think a very social person can learn to be an isolated miserable person? nah.

Do it, you'll feel physically and mentally better.

yes actually. lots of robots come with stories that they used to be sociable.

Lol bro just be yourself lmao

ironically this is still the best advice. everyone complains about parts of their life, but if you're spending 15 hours a day on your computer, that's who you want to be.

really? so this stacy can come here and say she is isolated and miserable, and you would believe her?
thats fucking hilarious

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uuhhhh women can be lonely incels too sweaty

Unironically this. Trust me, as a 30 something who spent his entire 20s online and never made a friend in person, it just isn't worth it.

You can't replace those lost years. I'll never get those years back.

>do you think a very social person can learn to be an isolated miserable person? nah.
Yes. Have you ever been in a nursing home?

Your mind forms connections and pathways in response to your behaviour, and these pathways make it easier to do the same thing over and over again, and eventually become the default. You can override the default by deliberate conscious effort, or if a change in your life that makes it impossible, and if you do that enough, you'll create new pathways that eventually become the default.

holy shit you fucking faggot i used to be very social and had a shit ton of friends in high school but after that i become a neet and slowly isolated my self

Faggot, just don't be fat, go out, do drugs and fuck some good pussy

no shit does it work. the difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is that successful people focus only on becoming successful as efficiently as possible.

It is too late at 35 I think. It is over.

so a chad that has fucked hundreds of women can come to r9k and learn to be a robot? is this a fucking joke? just because you make a conscious choice to be something doesn't mean other people will accept you for what you're trying to be.

In a sense, yes, you're right. Because people act according to what they want, people who sit on their computer all day do actually want their lives to be like that. It's just that a lot goes into the concept of 'want'. For example, someone might be a miserable person who sits on their computer and complains about their life being the way it is, but in the end they still want to do that if they're doing it. It's just that they have some sort of mental holdup where while they consciously claim to dislike it and they feel miserable, they just don't have the energy or whatever to do something else. We're all prisoners of our mind in the end.

i doubt they were your friends, you just probably "knew" a bunch of people. i was the same. you isolated yourself because you realized you didn't really have anything in the normie world

>We're all prisoners of our mind in the end.
so how about you decide to become another jeff bezos? its all just in your mind, right?

Jesus and i thought i was too old.
Anyway fag, there are men in their 40's going around nightclubs and bars, drinking, doing drugs and fucking some puss.
You are just making excuses for yourself, you are imposing a limit on yourself for no fucking reason besides the imaginary opinion that you think other people will have or have about you.
If i lived near you, i would drag you to a bar after punching your gay face, get you drunk and set you up with a hot young whore.

What are you talking about? I don't see how that relates to what I'm saying at all. Yes, there are limitations to what you can do in life; your mind is one of them. What is your point here? Are you saying that I said the only thing stopping you from becoming a billionaire is your brain? Because that is missing the point completely. Maybe you *do* want to become the next Jeff Bezos, but you don't have, in some form or capacity, the skill to pull it off. How does that relate at all to what I said?

>there are men in their 40's going around nightclubs and bars, drinking, doing drugs and fucking some puss
those guys are pretty much all losers that fuck leftover slampigs. who the fuck would want to be a 40 year old that goes to clubs lmao how is that in any way a desirable path for your life

>"knew" a bunch of people
Well we used to hang out together, it wasn't just normalfag talk at school, it was some deep shit.
Those people didn't have time for me either due to work or uni, and i was too embarassed to hang out with them while being a neet cause i didn't want to tell them that i was just spending all my time playing vidija and browsing the web.

so in other words, you can't be what you want to be and there are other limitations other than just your mind.

>Anyway fag, there are men in their 40's going around nightclubs and bars, drinking, doing drugs and fucking some puss.

I'd unironically take being a basement-dwelling NEET over that.

really. who the fuck would want to be this guy?

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Not for me. I am still a depressed schizoid.

Yes, exactly. Again, how does that relate to what I'm saying? When did we start talking about becoming things? I'm talking about doing things, like being on or getting off the computer for example. That doesn't involve any physical capacity aside from desire. And that desire may be conscious or just a lack of energy or feeling.

Oh shiet, you have read that meme pic that was posted on 8chianz?
I hope that you are just baiting and not a genuine retard.
There are real world circumstances and or mental problems that people have that prevent them from getting what they want, effort isn't the only factor here.
A kid with down syndrome can work as hard as he wants on physics but he will never be revolutionaze the field no matter how much time and effort he puts in to it, let alone understand the basic concepts lel.
There are differences in intelligences and other faculties among human beings that are though less noticeable but still present, that prevent people from getting what they want. And this is just one of the factors that could be an obstacle.