/britfeel/ - Nachtschi.... Hold On... Edition

has anyone seen my can?

I might have used it as an ashtray lad sorry. Feel free to keep the cigs floating in it if you like

has it been 20 minutes already? it feels like 2 seconds

>MFW YWN have a low confidence ginger qt gf that you can tell her that's she beautiful to.
Why even live?

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ahhhh, mate, cmon yah.... wassat all bout... where's MY cig? eh?

You niggas aint here again? Im always coming in hoping to talk to the lads but what do i get? A empty chat room):

if you tell her, everyone will tell her. you are not a special unique snowflake.
things will end up much as they are now: she will judge people on merits (kinda)

Lad I know just taking the piss Now anyway, I learnt that lesson far too late (Relatively speaking)

was thinking about Nigii and Mayuri today...
wondering if I should open a shop with them and sell anime figurines... not sure about sharing finances though

women dont want to be told about THEMSELVES creeps and haters do that all day in front of and behind their back
they want to be told about YOURSELF assuming you are interesting to them

just be all like
"ay bby wan sum fuk???"

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>wank
>have to deal with my bellend burning for an hour afterwards
>sometimes this doesn't happen
Shouldn't have to gamble on this tbqh

plenty of ugly girls out there with low confidence... just saying

Mate it shouldnt burn.... You got a dicease?

does she have low confidence due to lack of natural abilities and/or intellect?

Bully her.. bully her until she cries...

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invite the spirits of your ancestors in to your japs eye while you wank, to protect you

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mate. stop rubbing your cock so hard... consider using lubrication

well that's me for the night... gonna squeeze my belly whilst mashing my dick with a cheese grater

thinking about making myself a jacket potato... with cheese, butter, mustard, paprika... maybe some other crap....who's with me?

Lads, twas only joking I know how to talk to women, last time I did something like that was 17 alright and that was with a childhood crush, otherwise I don't do any of that dopey shite.
I know lad.
Turns out she was not confident because she was a closeted lezzer.

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WTF DO WOMEN WANT FROM US

LEAVE US ALONE

you're eventually gonna see her from an angle that makes her look unattractive.
only something deeper than superficial lust will bridge that gap.
how much more so when she sees you?

Need a good RPG to play

Kotor 2
New Vegas
Deus Ex & DE:HR & DE:MD

Just some laughs and occasional shags

just had potatoes with butter, garlic, parsley, paprike, cheese and MUH DICK

if you're awake, offer us a cigarette and we'll look at the stars?

I'll take you up the hill some day, but you gotta eat before we go

You mashed up your dick in some potatoes?

at this time... i really gotta ask myself... in the rush to drink my bovril, did i leave any left in the jar for a second cup?
you know... in my excitement, i lost count... so you really gotta ask yourself... do you want bovril, punk? or should i go with tea?

there's 2 kinds of men in this world. those with shitposts, and those with keyboards. i'm the type with a keyboard. NOW SHITPOST, NEET SCUM

im saying it was hot, long, yellow and cheesy... and i mashed it real good...

Is that lad who likes shitty amazon movies about? there's one called 001 trolling
Tyranny

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Reminder that sex is naughty and people who have sex are naughty.

i've not got the hang of using lmao yet
is it best used to mark insincerity?

Well, I'm off to watch some YouTube videos in bed then sleepity sleeps. Was tempted to have a rustlers burger wurger but now I cba. Night lids.

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> OP lad
I'm one of them, been busy with wageslave shit really and not been on the feels for a few months

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Just watched Rapid Eye Movement.

Starting to get addicted to so bad they're good films lads.

Found a picture earlier of my face that I took for my student ID back when I was 18 in 2013

I was quite shocked at how young I look, I didn't realize I've aged so much. I was hit with a pretty intense wave of nostalgia for a while too, even though I'm only 24 now.

>drivers licence needed renewing in 2016
>new photo
>put on 8 stone shortly after
>lost all of it as of a month ago
swings and roundabouts

Did the ground boom when you walked former fat lad?

>nhscucks will defend this

Makes me physically sick that taxpayers are robbed of billions each year to support these glorified pets.

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it would if I ever walked
reckon I would have died this July if I was still a tubster, that heatwave was intense

What weight were you? What diet did you do to lose the weight?

was 19 stone in december, today I'm just under 11 (6'1 if you're wondering)
no solid diet, I eat what I want I just count calories

My room had smelt like slightly gone-off biscuits for about two month. Had been doing my fucking head in. I found the source. It was a huge open jar of piss behind my guitar amp that I had completely forgot about. Must have pissed in it when I was black out drunk one night or something. It was completely stagnant and cloudy. Smelt it up close and I threw up in my mouth. Honestly the worst thing I've smelt in my life. The smell is finally gone now, so that's a relief.

Tell me about it lad.
All gingers should be purged at birth

>I was hit with a pretty intense wave of nostalgia for a while too, even though I'm only 24 now.

I get this too sometimes, I feel like I really didn't appreciate my younger years at the time, would do anything to go back to being 18 and starting uni again

What a vile spastic mong child.

HORRIBLE VILE SMELLY SPASTIC NHS THIEVING MONG CHILD

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How's the dialysis going Chumba?

Rotten, decrepit, VILE, absolutely repugnant and FOUL, pet mong child

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The holiday houses mummy and daddy rent are always nice, but this one is so large and nice that I feel really uncomfortable. I will be back in my dark neet cave soon I guess.
Fuck joe jonas

My enemy posted pictures of his sofi
And all I could show him was pictures of my goatee
He said his gf got a brand new tattoo (tootoo)
And all im doing is praying for a gf to Vishnu
Uh
Where did I go wrong?

[Chorus:]
And my head keeps spinning
Can't stop having these visions
I gotta get wit' it
Oh ho, oh ho, oh ho
And my head keeps spinning
I can't stop having these visions
I gotta get wit' it
Oh ho, oh ho, oh ho

I have the big sad from too much alcohol

:( sorry fren, I know that feel
Is there anything you want to talk about? How was your weekend?

Ok. I went to town with my brother and I tried to wingman for a friend of his. I asked a girl in the club if she wants to dance with my brothers friend, I said he is a tidy legend, but she said she has a fella.
How was your weekend?

Cute thing you did for your brothers mate lad, nice lad points to you. Hope you had a day out.
Lots of walking and mosquitoes find me p tasty but otherwise nice. Night night lad, hope you can sleep off the drink

Day 1 quitting weed: Last smoke 31 hours ago.

Slept a measly 4.5 hours despite being very tired. I'm completely bog-eyed at this point. It's unfair, because not only am I sober, I've now got significantly more time to contemplate how decrepit and preposterous life it. We are hairless chimp slaves running around aware of our own consciousness.

Life is really terrible.

All I want to do is lock myself away forever in a dark quiet room, with an endless supply of weed and smoke the rest of my days out alone. That's what I aspire to.

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sup all, it's that Canadian from last thread. visiting the imperial war museum and Buckingham palace today

Daily reminder - Prince Andy's a genuine nonce! Lizzy's son!

Wonder if he posts on here eh lads. Bet he does like.

COR what a nonce.

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Alri lad it's the Anglobro you talked to yesterday, maybe I can return the favour. If you get a chance you should check out the Barbican Conservatory, it's only open on Sundays and it's pretty neat, the whole area is full of brutalist architecture that was mega popular in the 60s (pic related). As for food I recommend Kanada-Ya if you like ramen, E. Mono if you want kebab, M. Manze for pie and mash and Rowley's for steak.

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how come people as dumb as JGS can get jobs but i cant

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Unironically what is wrong with what he said?

You quit weed SCEA lad? Want to do the same to save money but am afraid of being alone with my thoughts on the evenings.

shut up JGS you mong

You probably have a degree that has inflated your ego so much, you are incapable of getting a job

>fucked a fat girl again last night
>snuck out of her house at around 6am
>hour walk home
>full of shame
>still slightly drunk
>but fapping over the memory of it anyway
it is a strange sort of day

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>Congratulations! You've won 3 pound on Thunderball

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I mean it works, I just think the Washing machine is situated a little too high for thr clothes to be loaded and unloaded

Are you up or down since you started playing the Lottery?

uh guys why is there is a tent outside timmys flat now

note later when he is about to go inside, a man pops his head out and says ello timmy

youtube.com/watch?v=jnT_lTrxF2o

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Consider though the intense shaking of a fully loaded washing machine as it approaches it's last spin cycle.

He's playing the lottery, of course he's down

be some dickheads thinking its funny to harass a mentalist

I am up playing the Lottery, one of my first wins was 4 numbers, and that basically paid for all the other times I've played

>young blogger hooligan forces old mans mobility scooter onto main road

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A lass hit on me last night in the pub. Backed up til her arse was literally touching me and then "accidentally" spilt her drink on me. She was pretty hot in a chavvy way.
Started chatting then I asked when she got her tits done, as they were clearly fake, and she ran away. Fucked it up.

one day he's going to get wiped out by a car while doing one of these incoherent ramblings to camera

nothing makes shitting more intense than the fear of death as the machine enters the spin cycle

>going on a camping trip
>girlfriend pops around with her car
>we practice setting it up and air it out a bit before going
>fat mental midget downstairs starts screaming and shouting at us

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I really hope this is true, absolute mong

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Reminder to make the most of the good times because we never know when they will end.
A blessing to all anons in this thread today.

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They're obviously not "practicing" if it's been there for several days

this is how it descends. more and more people are going to make the pilgrimage to get attention, couple that with the builders, he is going to snap and get sectioned

mobility scooters shouldn't be permitted on pavements. they should be taxed and insured.

incorrect, its not tims garden. it belongs to other residents

Bit of a dark thought for a Sunday father, but thanks anyway

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>fat looney thinks the communal green belongs to him

anti timmy crew victory. based

youtube.com/watch?v=kc5hzGXiEUc

You silly sausage. You could be knuckle deep in crabby minge by now.

Don't say that, 2019 has been the best year of my life so far

What wageslavery are you involved with?
It's a bugger when IRL gets in the way of here eh