*sits down next to you*

>*sits down next to you*
>hey user, do you have a minute to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
what's the correct move here?

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Yes I have an eternity to speak about our lord, but Im afraid I dont know anything about him

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That dudes an asshole, and you're probably a fucking hypocrite.

There is a mormon church near me that has a lot of cute girls. This actually happens all the time. I just tell them I am catholic and change the subject. Got a date this way once.

segue into how kikes have infiltrated the church

is she a virgin saving herself for marriage? please someone answer me

Not with that low cut and short shots she isn't

>what's the correct move here?
suck her breasts

That would be VERY milky situation

Fuck I just hope our lord and savior either comes soon or gives me a nice long nap before he does

Red hair is a traditionally jewish trait, totally unrealistic.

>redhead
>talks about Jesus
Nice try Satan

This. the worst thing about god being real isn't hell or anything like that. Its that knowing someone created this fucking shit show and does nothing but sit around judging people when it warps them. A god like that really only deserves to be dethroned with his heaven burned to the fucking ground.

>"jesus wouldn't want you by my side"

I am a militant fedora wearing atheist, but I would humor her because she's pretty. I know a fairly vast amount about the NT and about early Church history and the history of Protestantism, mainly from hate-reading, and I would try to use all that to seem super into whatever she had to say.

Then of course if my ruse succeeded and I got somewhere with this girl I'd have to keep on pretending. Eventually we'd get married and I'd have to pretend for the rest of my life. But it would be totally worth it.

You're looking at a believer, and I'm looking at proof.

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Start humming My Sharona

what's her name goddamn

You're clearly not a Christian. Why are you regurgitating Jehovah's Witnesses bullshit?

A minute? For you, bitch, I got twenty

"jesus christ was most likely mentally ill. He shows the hallmark delusions of divinity found in manic episodes and positive schizophrenic episodes, amongst other things. If he had 500mg of seroquel you'd be worshipping some other hot jew, so why don't you just worship me instead?"

"no thanks, i need to pee"

TFW no Christian gf to take to Chik-Fil-A.

pros: they think your a virgin on purpose.

Tell her about the glory of Odin

Someone I knows family member got in a bad accident today. Airlift bad. Could you guys help pray for him? They go to church and are good people..

>I don't have time for heresies.

Lol hope he suffers before he goes kill

This is what the girls at my church actually look like

its celtic

Based Chadlander