Horniness approaching galactic levels, decide to make Tinder acc and try my luck

>horniness approaching galactic levels, decide to make Tinder acc and try my luck
>dumb app is laggy, every proper function hidden behind a paywall
>repulsed by the basicness of every girl on it
>turn off in disgust
>keep going back every 30 mins because if I don't get laid soon my head might explode
>repeat ad nauseam
>still no matches
what do

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did you try grindr user?

wish I was gay, fags have no standards whatsoever, could properly get laid in a day

>meanwhile plane-jane, borderline actually ugly girl that I know, with an insane manjaw, tiny, pursed lips, terrible skin and a saggy, cellulite-ridden ass gets a match the same day she makes an account

just have a good bio user, females fall hard for that
made an account a few days ago, in 2 days i had gotten 40~ matches
my only pic was a very dark pic where u could barely see me, plus i was 15 at the time of taking the picture
just think of a good, humorous, "dont really care"-attitude bio and you should get some matches

let's see your bio if it's so good then
mine's the following:
"1.86m, about to turn 21 (10.10.)

New to Tinder and dating in general
Swipe right if you want to go to the cinema sometime, have a meaningful conversation, discover music or just learn something new"

i was just hoping to find someone i might actually enjoy speaking with, is that too much to ask?

Yep that bio is perfect for grindr

i'm not even THAT ugly imo and am relatively tall, much higher than the average in my country, maybe not so much here in Germany
what am i doing wrong?

Maybe you should try Grindr and get TOPPED or fuck a bottom its 100% chance

Have you tried Grindr yet? From what I hear tons of horny twinks and justbpeoppe on there you could be getting your dick sucked in a matter of hours they might even bring drugs and booze

but i really, really like girls, user...
haven't masturbated since Sunday, all i could think about today were girls, just kept staring at every single one i saw in the street, kept getting half-chubs out in the open

1 fuck your hand
2 fuck a hooker
3 fuck a sissyboi
4 get TOPPED
5 read steps 1 through 5 again

have any straight anons here ever fucked sissys? if so how was it. maybe it really is the answer to my problem

ok didnt really wanna share to possibly give away my id but w/e

I am top 1% in every possible bad way. I hate norms but criticize everything that is out of order. I could have lived life easily but chose to toss it away. Swipe right to play social russian roulette.

desu OP that must be the most gay fucking bio i have ever seen, i bet you most girls sigh or laugh at it

christ almighty, how'd you type that out with a straight face? and this ridiculous, literal Jow Forumsiam14andthisisdeep word salad works? are you Chad by any chance, that could explain how you're getting matches with this nonsense.
>desu OP that must be the most gay fucking bio i have ever seen, i bet you most girls sigh or laugh at it
but that's who i am, what the fuck am i supposed to do about that?

again, i used a pic from when i was 15 and it is dark and grainy, im not a chad but even if i were there would be no way for the females to tell
point is to NOT TAKE IT TO SERIOUSLY, girls like a guy who is easy going and is there 'just for fun', typing out your height and literall date of birth is trying waaaay too hard

>trying waaaay too hard
every time someone says this I have an irreconcilable urge to punch their face out tobh

well i notice a lot of the girls had their height in their bios, so i thought i'd add mine, as that's about the only thing i have going for myself
DOB was just for padding i guess
recommend me a good bio then, user. should i just say fuck it and copy something from a grainy FB collage with photos of cars and rappers on it?

There is always boipussy I think if you only TOP it's not gay

I got head from a trap once when I was drunk at 2 in the morning I watched straight porn while I was cumming in her mouth she left after she swallowed

What about using Grindr for easy bussy?

well, the truth hurts, doesn't it?
i suppose quite a few people have told you this and they don't say it 'just because', they say it because it's the truth, and it is actually comming from people who isnt a virgin
the reason why you wanna "punch their face out tobh" is because you think the opposite, and strongly so, but again, more experienced people tell you how they see it
in short; listen to the people who actually have good experience, your tactics where worth a shot but has proven ineffective
you can choose to live life as it is now and stick to your ignorant beliefs or actually face the truth, which DOES HURT, but it will lead you to the goal you are striving for

Why don't you just fuck a prostitute or fuck some boicunt?

Grindr is a known place for just sex if you want to do that

man im not gonna type you a bio, preferably you wanna type it yourself, then it contains some of your personality (which you seem to lack), just follow all the advice in this thread and try to think of something good
other than that, just typing a good bio isnt gonna get you laid, maybe it will get some matches, but that is just the start
but, if you're really desperate, just copy mine and report back on this board how it goes

You don't really have any other options you should at least try it

>the people who actually have good experience
how could one possibly seperate these from the ones with bad experience though? Especially considering the amount of liars in todays society?

lets just put it like this: i dont think the people who are giving you this advice are on this forsaken board and whining about not being able to find matches on tinder, so in short, most people have more experience than you user, so please listen to them while they are still kind enough to actually give you advice
>Especially considering the amount of liars in todays society?
might be so, might not, doesnt matter, if you hare multiple people say the same thing over and over there is probably some truth to it
OP i really wanna help you but im not gonna do the work for you, the only thing i am willing to do is give advice and teach whatever i know (which isnt anything spectacular)
give a man a fish and all that shit
i think you have to face the hard and hurtfull realization that you have been wrong in your aproach to women, and to rethink and learn something that actually works is gonna take some effort, you will have to let the old tactics, which has been a part of you, to die

>some of your personality (which you seem to lack)
the fuck do you know, just because i don't put edgy, dime-a-dozen, off the internet garbage in my bio? if anything, my previous one had too much personality, i had to take it all out
thanks for the advice anyway, might just try your dumb one

obviously i cant realisticly do a full conclusion on your character, but simply on the bio (which is in fact the text you chose to put forward to match with women) was bland as fuck and i'm just saying its not a mystery why you havent gotten any matches
>might just try your dumb one
again with the fucking retarded ignorance, im not saying im a god-like chad but i am in fact able to get matches which seems to be the goal here, so now tell me; who is the "dumb one"?
im obviously reaching out a hand to you user, its your choice to take it or not, but without any help or without any change you will forever be stuck in the infernal virgin loop you seem to be stuck in
think hard user

but your bio is dumb and you know it. i'm not dissing you or your methods, if it work, it works, but don't act like it's not another carbon-copy edgy/dangerous bio. mine was as inofenssive as possible which is what i thought was the goal, guess i'll try giving it some flair

please tell me what you mean with dumb user, again the goal is simply to get matches, i managed to and you didnt
although i get what you mean, it really says nothing of importance and is literally just word-shitting, but it more or less says that im just here because of fun, which is the opposite of yours
>mine was as inofenssive as possible which is what i thought was the goal
absolutely wrong! it would be unrealistic to think that you would please everyone, match with everyone and then bang everyone
find something unique that appeals to some women, but not all. you only need to match with a few women to bang one, dont try to appeal to everyone, that way you will appeal to no one

ok user, i took your cues, rate my new bio

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i wish i was straight. I could get laid so easily if I were straight but nooooo I'm les.

you sound like a douchebag from that bio and your picture just confirms your absolute douchiness.

i barely have any photos and this was the best-looking one
took anons advice, i assume douchiness and edgyness are what work on tinder

to be fair, you could be right about douches thriving on tinder. I'd tone the bio down a little bit though. it's just offensive to everyone atm redheads or no. you are objectifying them way too hard.

what sounds better, unhealthy obsession or unhealthy facination?

i thought girls want to be objectified. maybe this will work?
besides, they post shit like this themselves anyway, "fuckboys get lost" and so on

you're a "girl", user, tell me, do you want to be objectified?

man i have to tell you, you do look decent and should be able to get some likes. i would definitely buy you a beer if i saw you on the streets, although i live somewhat up north on the globe
personally i wouldnt type that in my bio, not that i can find anything really wrong with it but simply because its more or less a public statement and maybe im to much of a pussy to completely ditch all the non-redheads in my area, dont know
but in short: the bio made me laugh so it should hopefully get some redheads to laugh aswell which will hopefully lead to a match
all in all; its good but not perfect (and dont ask me how to get it perfect, i dont know)
i would say its good and worth a shot, especially if you really only wanna match with redheads, but otherwise you could have something just playfull and "dont give a fuck"-attitude
6/10 while your last was 3/10, nice improvement

is that a serious question?

i made the account 2 days ago and have been hovering around 3-5 likes since, but no matches :/
i assume it's fat girls swiping, there's an enormous amount of them on this website.
what "level" of girl can i realistically be aiming for, user? i've been purposefully swiping left on all the really hot ones, particularly that had "model" in their bios, partly because i assume some percentage of them are bots/just looking to milk some guy for cash and partly because i want to conserve the likes
yes. would you want to be objectified by a hot guy (not talking about myself)

and yes, after reading the other anons I might have to agree a bit, it might sound harsh and somewhat douchy, although that in it self might not be a bad thing since, again, we are only trying to match with a few specific ones who you would bang you and who you would be willing to bang

i've toned it down to "unhealthy fascination"
if it really is so douchy and hurtful i can throw the "rest get lost" part out

>well i notice a lot of the girls had their height in their bios
Thats because they dont want people shorter than them to even bother trying.

well why can't i have it in mine, it's an advantage isn't it. if i'd worked out i'd post a gym pic or smth too, all's fair in love and war

>(states I've lived in)
>I like girls and japanese cartoons
>I still have the old fat ipod
>You can use me as a reference
This gets me plenty likes. I don't swipe right on whores that have shit like 'i like hiking, dogs, and the beach' or whores with blank bios. I only swipe on artsy looking whores or ones that mentions anime/memes in their bio and it works fine.

you're asking a lesbian if I would want to be objectified by a hot guy lol
but regardless guy or girl, no. I pride myself on being an intellectual & high quality person.

Although, I'm no Tinder user and the girls on it are generally the opposite of me. They are certainly easier to get/more desperate to get laid as shown by their presence on the app so they may enjoy it after all. Who knows.

You're definitely not gonna get any self respecting girls with that pickup line though, only roastie sluts. The question is just if that's fine by you.

well tb.h user i myself only spammed the like button untill i was out of likes, repeated it once i had likes again. unmatched with the few trannies i accidentally matched with, lol
as you live in germany and seem to live in a big city just based on your pic you might have greater competition than me, which is a huge dissadvantage
now seeing as you have the bio you have, i would say aim for any redhead (good looking or bad) and try your luck there
if you have a more "open" bio (yes i know im giving opposite messages here, be specific while dont) i would say you can swipe right on all the non 9+/10 girls, you do look decent and with a good bio it should work for atleast some women
although, keep in mind, if you wanna presserv the likes, actually only like the ones you would bang

>you're asking a lesbian if I would want to be objectified by a hot guy lol
i latched on to the bit that you're a girl, disregarded that you're les
>You're definitely not gonna get any self respecting girls with that pickup line though, only roastie sluts. The question is just if that's fine by you.
i thought i was being funny :(
atm i'll settle for dipping my wick but i can't stand bimbos/thots in general, i need someone i can actually talk to. literally what i wrote in the bio before, about how i need someone who can hold a meaninful conversation, but apparently that's gay
>a more "open" bio
how about something dumb like, "date today, regret tomorrow" or "or expreience the best 30 seconds of your life with a right swipe" or some other bullshitty string of words?

yes, yes man thats actually somewhat good, although it might be somewhat unappealing since it literally says "you will regret this" and "bad stamina in bed" which is not the message you wanna send the girls
a recommendation i gave to a good friend of mine was "I'm not a sadist, I only have a good sence of humor"
i know i said i wouldnt give you a fish but try that one out if you feel it is something worth a shot

i'll let this one stew a couple of days, see if there's an uptick in likes or an actual match, before changing it

>pay for tinder subscription
>swipe right on thousands of girls not knowing theres some kike scheme that fucks you over for doing that
>switch to south East Asian country and swipe no on a lot to try and game the system
>say fuck it and reset profile
>banned from tinder

>tinder was created by two literal kikes

At least if I die alone that eliminates my 10%ish kike genes from the genepool

lol alas the best girls are never gonna be on dating apps. but tinder will help you get your dick wet for now.
i actually found those pickup lines funny cause they are clearly self effacing humor.

although i said to be playfull and "dont give a fuck" you have to remember that the bio sends a message to the women that they will see as the representation of you, so you dont wanna say "last 30sec in bed" or whatever
and if you think im giving mixed messages, well its only because thats how women work

>last 30sec in bed
but that's how it actually is irl, what's to be done about this? i was hoping getting laid might help. my biggest worry is if i'll actually reel a girl in and blow my load in my pants

Don't try to mirror the behavior of women it repulses them

seems like we have a plan mr man, try your line and see how it goes, otherwise maybe try the other ones you put forward, as
said they were actually funny, and that goes a long way

well if that happens, rough shit, but it is certainly a lot better than it is now, then you atleast have taken alot of steps in the right direction
not necessarily a tip, but what i've done a few times; pre-fap. lol

so does the pre-fap actually work, i considered that as a last-ditch save. honestly, i was just hoping to find a girl i could be comfortable with, in ever way

well, let me put it like this; this is an area i am not able to give you advice on, my first time i was so nervous i couldnt get it up, or maybe my dick was telling me something? if so, he was right
but logically speaking, yes, it somewhat reduces your sexual drive which in return will make you last longer in bed, but again, i am the wrong person to ask
>i was just hoping to find a girl i could be comfortable with, in ever way
dont we all? what i can say is that like everything else in this world you will most likely not get it right on the first go, but that is not an excuse to not try, you have to keep on trying untill you get it right, just the nature of life

well user these are my last words for now, i think i have said all that i am capable of
i sincerely hope you the best of luck on your misson and i certainly i hope i've been to some help, you have atleast given me a couple of good things so i thank you sincerely
godspeed user, good luck on your mission, the best of luck
:')

>wake up
>log into tinder
>start swiping
>realise I've been swiping the wrong way for like 10 minues
>get matches
>msg them saying I was swiping the wrong way, and that I'm not interestes
>back to no matches
They were all caked makeup Stacy, kind of gross.
Does this mean if I wanted just sex I have the potential?

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