Tfw my ldr boyfriend is threatening to break up with me if I don't go outside more

>tfw my ldr boyfriend is threatening to break up with me if I don't go outside more

I go outside to go to work and when I need get groceries. Isn't that enough?

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never heard of someone that actually has agoraphobia

I have social anxiety, being around people is exhausting.

tell him ull cuck him if he keeps giving u ultimatums

333a

Kill yourself.

I hate cheaters and that sounds mean to tell him.

That is more than enough, i want a gf like you and that's why i'll never have a gf.

You don't actually have to cheat. If he knows you have social anxiety and is threatening to break up with you because of it isn't that a bit mean too? It's like he's giving you something you can't fight against or he's trying to fix you or some stupid shit. He needs to stop trying to play therapist.

Why is he so concerned with how often you go outside?

where do i find a girl like you to date?

I think he says it because he thinks I need to do more exciting things with my life other than just playing visual novels and browsing the internet and talking to him. It's genuinely all I really want to do though. At least when he's here I'm willing to go outside but why should I go out when he's not?

where did you meet him cute user?

I don't know, I dont really know people.

Online but we used to live in the same state/city till I had to move. He never seemed to care back them but back then I used to spend most of my time in his room with him

Try to negotiate.
If you can't negotiate you're trapped in the relationship (for any number of reasons).
Maybe he wants you to become more independent?
Maybe you want to be more dependent?
Nothing wrong with either, but, depends on how willing the other is to fulfill those expectations.

Learn to be quiet and do as he says, it's for your own good.

OP is not a girI retards

i know, just asking

I don't even know how to negotiate it. I don't have any friends really so I don't even know what I would do if I went outside. I didn't think I was being too dependent on him... Like I give him space if he needs it. I just don't want him to leave me.

I am a girl but I guess that doesn't really matter.

>tfw my ldr boyfriend is threatening to break up with me if I don't go outside more
just take it for what it is and stop playing games.
it's two lonely people who will eventually move on with their lives. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

I feel you op sometimes you just want to stay in the house like for a really long time in isolation why can't they just leave us be

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Tell him you'll break up with him if he doesn't stay indoors more

>I didn't think I was being too dependent on him... Like I give him space if he needs it. I just don't want him to leave me.
Just do what he said you to do and you'll be fine, you do trust him, don't you?
>I am a girl but I guess that doesn't really matter.
No it don't, but you should really find some friends to go out, or even better, ask him if he can find some friends for you.

He used to say it was really weird but then he said that my weirdness is what he liked about me. Sorry people are you bugging you though as well.

I mean, I do have friends but they're online friends. My one irl friend grew distant from me because she started to get into drugs and going to bars a lot. So I haven't really known how to make irl friends again. All his friends are males so and he also lives 6 hours away from me, so I don't think that would work.

>All his friends are males so and he also lives 6 hours away from me, so I don't think that would work.
Girl you really need to find some friends, quick. They don't need to be good friends, not need to be fun people, just some random girls will.
If you go to college or work, just find some boring girls from there and start to walk with her, this will make your BF happy.

>work, just find some boring girls from there and start to walk with her
All of my coworkers are significantly older than me and trying to talk to random people in person makes me very anxious. When I was in college I tried to make friends but they didn't last.

where are you from op? we can be friendos if you want.

>When I was in college I tried to make friends but they didn't last.
user, you don't real friends, you just need people to be around so you can keep your bf.
If you can walk with them, smile and don't say anything that will turn them away you can pretend they are your friends :)

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Michigan but I live really close to Ohio. Are you a girl?

i'm not. if that's a deal breaker then i understand. i hope everything works out either way.

Your boyfriend is being a cunt for asking that of you, I'd dump a girl if they tried pushing me into social shit when I clearly didn't want to because of anxiety issues. Maybe think about your relationship in general: is he worth clinging to? Think about how he treats you through the day, if you're just clinging to him so you have somebody you're just gonna cause problems for yourself.

Boring and blue pilled, have you stopped to think OP does like her(his) bf and don't want to follow standard procedures for a "normal" relationship?

Why can't I ever get a girl that loves me desu.

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Does having fake friends like suggests really come off as a good approach? It'd just end up looking pathetic when it becomes clear she's only around them to make it look like she's being social for him. And bluepilled in this context would be doing what the boyfriend says because making friends and being social are normie concepts faggot, normies don't understand or respect social anxiety issues

Sure, we can be friends.

I don't think he's being a cunt... He used to be like me but he joined the army and started to make a lot friends so I think maybe he's just is becoming better than me or something. I don't wanna leave him though because he means the world to me and I feel like it's such a waste to end things. But I don't know if I'll suddenly be able to become more social... This is all very scary to me

I don't think I can have fake friends. I get really exhausted and scared even having small talk with coworkers. I'm not sure I would be able to even fake being a friend to someone

>suggests really come off as a good approach?
Yes I do, some people just don't have what's needed to have friends, saying to a autistic fuck to "just get friends and a gf" is far worse than "find some people to be around and don't fell lonely".

I do think you can, you don't even need to talk if you're too anxious, just be around, listen and smile.
It can be only a few hours to begin with, instead of all the time.

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Either your a faggot, trannie, or a woman whichever one you are kill yourslef you degenerate

You could just try putting your foot down and telling him no, you're not obligated to force yourself to talk to other people. You could if you wanted, but over him giving you an ultimatum? If he isn't willing to back off on that he's in the wrong, if you really think he's good to be around he should be fine with you not forcing yourself into compromising situations

>better than me
If you think him being social makes him better than you then you might have serious insecurity issues that need to be ironed out before you can have a functioning relationship with another person

>Just be strong and lose your bf, this way I'll few better with myself
What if OP would prefer to keep her bf instead of doing the expected feminist action?

>find some people to be around and don't feel lonely
This just leads to an event where she inevitably gets exposed as not having real friends and her boyfriend is going to look down on her for it, if he's enough of a dick to threaten her into talking to other people she's just going to humiliate herself if she goes with this

>listen and smile.
When my old irl friend introduced me to her friends and I did that. They just thought I was rude and weird for not talking...

Of course not, she will:
>1. Keep her bf, that OP seems to care a lot.
>2. Find some people to be around (OP clearly is lonely).
>3. Be around people and help her(his) social anxiety.
>4. Train some social skills that are always obvious.
It's the best course of action, being lonely and without bf will in exchange some symbolical respect is plain stupid.
Can't you find some male friends? Boys usually love girls that smile and are around.

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How does this have anything to do with feminism? If your partner makes you put yourself in situations you're not comfortable with then they're in the wrong and doing more harm than good. Note the OP said

>boyfriend is THREATENING to break up
This isn't the boyfriend nicely suggesting she talks to people and put herself out there, that would've been fine and healthy.

>If your partner makes you put yourself in situations you're not comfortable with then they're in the wrong and doing more harm than good.
If you like your partner, you should give care for what he says. Being independent and strong always sound great, but some people can be far happier with other forms of relationship.
>This isn't the boyfriend nicely suggesting she talks to people and put herself out there, that would've been fine and healthy.
I'd be far more healthier than losing her bf, when she doesn't have friends.
I know it's not a perfect relationship like in movies, but if OP really like him, she should put some effort in making this relationship last.

>OP clearly is lonely
I wouldn't say I'm exactly lonely. I was content not having really irl friends until he brought up that I needed to go out more... I mean if he broke up with me then I would be very lonely because I'll miss him.

>Can't you find some male friends?
I mean I guess but wouldn't that just make my boyfriend uncomfortable for me to suddenly just hang out with boys in real life?

>I mean if he broke up with me then I would be very lonely because I'll miss him.
This is a major reason why you should find some friends, so your bf will not leave you.
>I mean I guess but wouldn't that just make my boyfriend uncomfortable for me to suddenly just hang out with boys in real life?
You can always talk to him, say you're having problems finding friends and ask if he'd be ok if you tried to find some male friends, at least on the start.

>This is a major reason why you should find some friends, so your bf will not leave you.
This is terrible advice.

>I mean I guess but wouldn't that just make my boyfriend uncomfortable for me to suddenly just hang out with boys in real life?
It'd not be sudden if you talked with him first, the best way to know if he's ok with you going out with the boys is asking.

The ultimatum is the issue here and you're failing to see that he isn't considering her thoughts if he's threatening to dump her if she doesn't talk to other people.

>it'd be far healthier than losing her boyfriend
Why do you think that? Clinging to someone because they're all you have isn't healthy at all. From the details OP has given so far it reads more like she's clinging to this dude because she has trouble talking to people. Whether or not it was functioning at one point it sounds like it's in distress now, hence the threat to dump her. I don't think OP should even be in a relationship at all right now from what's been given so far

>This is terrible advice.
If you have something better, besides the "just respect yourself and find a better guy" I'm sure both I and OP would love to hear it.

>The ultimatum is the issue here and you're failing to see that he isn't considering her thoughts if he's threatening to dump her if she doesn't talk to other people.
I'm don't fail to see it, but I don't pretend relationships are perfect like in movies.
Of course a respecting, strong, firm, charismatic,.. guy would be better, but we are simple humans living on a flawed world, most of us don't have the luxury to seek perfect relationships.

How is "do everything your partner asks so you have a chance of keeping a failing relationship afloat" better advice?

>Clinging to someone because they're all you have
I'm not clinging to him because he's all I have. I stay with him because I love him and want to be with him. I'm scared of losing him because I love him and I want a future with him

>Why do you think that?
Because OP tried to have friends, despite all the suffering it caused to her, she did it because she loves him.
I know you want OP to have some sort of perfect relationship, but she found a guy she loves, a guy that's already her bf and I do think this is far more important than having a "correct" guy by your standards.

Don't you see OP like him, relationship are not like some min/max game where you trow people out when they don't meet some standards, it's founding someone you love and living with that person.
It'll not be a "correct" or "perfect" life, but it can really make one happy.

Don't take them serious, this mentality of "just dump him and found someone better" is terrible.
Understand no relationship is perfect, there will always be some flaws.
And that being in a relationship involves giving up and doing some efforts, for both of you.
I do think you can do it, for him and for yourself.

OP hasn't given any information to determine her boyfriend is worth being with, just that
>threatens her into social situations
>was once understanding, apparently no longer is
There is nothing to go by that makes it sound worth salvaging at all.

>most of us don't have the luxury to seek perfect relationships
There is perfect, and there is shit. It isn't on OP to compromise on this. It isn't about min maxing, this is the type of retarded shit that keeps people tied to abusers.

>OP hasn't given any information to determine her boyfriend is worth being with, just that
Again, it's not about having a high value bf, it's about being in a relationship with someone you like. Do you really think someone can be happy when all you seek is to improve your partners?

>There is nothing to go by that makes it sound worth salvaging at all.
OP said she loves him, that's all it's need to give it a try. Maybe he's not a "high value" guy, but it's the guy she loves.

>There is perfect, and there is shit.
This dualism mentality is also bad, can't a relationship be regular? Not perfect and not shit.
I she really like him, I don't see why she should dump him and try to find a better bf.

I've been in enough relationships to know that giving in every time they demand you do some shit to keep things "working" is a waste of time. When someone is THREATENING to dump you over you not doing something, that isn't love, he isn't satisfied with who he's with, he's the one trying to min/max her stats right now.

Any relationship will require sacrifices from both parts. It's too much prick to want a relationship where you've to do or change nothing at all, and expect others to simple accept you.
Sound really comfy, but that's not reality for most of us.

>when all you seek is to improve your partners?
Are you being this obtuse on purpose? I can't tell if you're baiting at this point. The dude was threatening to dump her if she didn't start making friends. He's trying to "improve" her right now to HIS standards. What the fuck even is this thread?
>can't a relationship be regular
YEAH WHERE YOU DON'T DEMAND PEOPLE CHANGE THEMSELVES HAHAHAHAH HOLY SHIT

Want to date me instead user? I like playing visual novels and won't tell you how to live your life.

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He's literally doing everything you're claiming I'm telling her to do. He's threatening her to change herself, to force herself into social situations or he will DUMP her. He is expecting her to improve to his standards. Why is it fair for him to expect this? What would be wrong with her telling him she isn't comfortable with it, or just not doing it? Why is it her duty to give in to the guy on this issue right now?

You don't need to be mad at because I don't enjoy your "just have someone better instead" mentality.
>The dude was threatening to dump her if she didn't start making friends.
Yes he's doing, and she loves him. You can say she deserve someone better, but she's deserve more than all to be free to try it with who she loves.
>YEAH WHERE YOU DON'T DEMAND PEOPLE CHANGE THEMSELVES HAHAHAHAH HOLY SHIT
I know you've a very narrow view on what a regular or "right" relationship is about; but it's, for me, mostly about two people that love each other and want to be together.
Even if he doesn't meet some "respect" standard you set.

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Is it self improvement even if I never cared about going outside or having irl friends?

I guess I'll try for him but the last time I did this kind of thing I just felt drained and hurt by it all because making friends has always been hard for me. I don't want him to leave but I don't know if I'll be able to live up to this...

It's not about being fair to some standard. It's about she loving a boy, and having some troubles with him. "just dump her and find someone better" is usually a the response of those that want to feel they're helping, maybe I should just call it virtue signaling.

have you tried talking to him, asking if you can do another thing instead... maybe all of this can be solved with a nice talk.

Just do what you're comfortable with, or, if you choose to take some of the retarded advice in this thread, make a followup thread post-breakup

I was going to say you just need to find another bf, but maybe you should really give it a try.

She's free to do a lot of things, she's free to put herself in compromising situations she doesn't want to be in, she's free to talk to the guy, she's free to tell him no.

>mostly about two people that love eachother and want to be together
Are you really young? I'm starting to think so. I think we disagree on how people show love, like how some people think discipline is "tough love", and extend that to smacking their wives and other things.

>She's free to do a lot of things, she's free to put herself in compromising situations she doesn't want to be in, she's free to talk to the guy, she's free to tell him no.
Yet you guys will try so hard to push her for the "correct" path, that couldn't be more wrong.

I just said she was free to do any of those. The same spic was pushing her to do everything for this dude making demands of her, that's somehow the correct choice? Fuck off kek

>I think we disagree on how people show love, like how some people think discipline is "tough love", and extend that to smacking their wives and other things.
And some girls I know do enjoy it, what's your point? A couple cannot be happy in some way that's not the PC approved standard?
Non-normal people do exist, while it's convenient, we should never ignore this fact.

Yet you got incredible mad when someone suggested her to not dump him.

Neither of them are happy with this outcome nigger what are you trying to pull

READ her response. She loves the dude but isn't happy with having to put herself out there. The guy clearly isn't happy if he's threatening to dump her.

Reading the same circular shit of
>just do everything someone asks of you if u wanna keep them dude lol
gets a bit annoying yeah

If we broke up, I wouldn't be able to date anyone for a long time.

We talked it out when he suggested it. Then he had to go to bed during it.

I don't know anymore... I'm just sad now.

He had to go to bed during it? He got that annoyed with you not wanting to go outside?

He usually goes to bed early... I don't know why he brought it up when it was aready late.

>Neither of them are happy with this outcome nigger what are you trying to pull
I'm trying to give her an alternative, one that's people fear to mention.
>If we broke up, I wouldn't be able to date anyone for a long time.
It'd up to you sweet heart, just don't do anything because people keep saying it's the only path.

>We talked it out when he suggested it. Then he had to go to bed during it.
You can try to talk with him again, some talking can solve problems before more hard actions have to be taken.
>I don't know anymore... I'm just sad now.
Then cry a little girl, everything is going to be alright.

>We talked it out when he suggested it. Then he had to go to bed during it.
I suggest bringing it up with him again. Let him know how hard it really is for you to do it, and how you're plenty content with how things are now. Be open and honest with him. Hopefully he'll be able to give your feelings the time and consideration they deserve.

There is a reason mexico is a failed country, what ever you do know that I am right, this spic is very wrong and you will be very unhappy if you follow his retarded choice, but in the end it's entirely up to you what you do

Like this two said there's that third option of trying to talk it out further, if you want to make things work this is probably the best choice.

Maybe talking about it with you was hard for him, I usually wait until late night to take care of serious, but really unpleasant, problems

>There is a reason mexico is a failed country, what ever you do know that I am right, this spic is very wrong and you will be very unhappy if you follow his retarded choice, but in the end it's entirely up to you what you do
Or you can ignore this guy that call your bf a piece of ship because he's a Latino. Remember girl, all that's matter is to be happy.

I hope so. I should of realized this sooner for the past week or so he has kept asking me what I've been doing and if I have plans and stuff that and asking me that multiple times a day. Which he's never done before, so it was very odd. It felt like he was trying to figure out if I ever do anything else which he already knew I don't really...

It's just his way to tell you to try to be more social.

I didn't call her boyfriend a spic, you're the one that belongs in a detainment center lmao. But yeah like this retard said do what makes you HAPPY

>I didn't call her boyfriend a spic, you're the one that belongs in a detainment center lmao.
So when someone suggest something to her, that's not your "correct" path, that person need to be in jail. Seen like a pure breed virtue signaler.
You should care less about appearing as right, and more about her.

These are the only reasons I leave the house too.
I can't see a problem here. Quite a lot of normal people are like this. Forget about this social-life-nerd and move on.

That's what I'm doing, and no, a detainment center is a lovely place here in my country, feel free to skip over here with all of your cousins, you'd have a great time!

You already implied your path was the correct one, I never said mine was right, a post back I even said if she wants things to work with the dude she should continue talking it out, because she won't be happy forcing herself out there. You're the one digging in with the
>Do everything for this dude!
shit.

Well, I told him I wanted to call him tomorrow so hopefully I can figure things out then... I hope nothing bad happens because I don't think I can go to work upset.

Just try having a honest talk with him and settle things, and remember no relationship is perfect.

hope he biancas you stupid fucking roastie get off my board

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>That's what I'm doing, and no, a detainment center is a lovely place here in my country, feel free to skip over here with all of your cousins, you'd have a great time!
When confronted with a different opinion, you sudden start personal attacks.
>You already implied your path was the correct one, I never said mine was right
No you just said the guy with another suggestion should be in jail for being a stupid spic. Why do you pretend to care about choices when all you want is to be the only one right, virtue signaler.

When you learn to talk with people, without treating them because they have "incorrect suggestions" I'll continue to reply you.

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Good luck, OP. It's important to be open with each other in a relationship, and if one party is giving an ultimatum between breaking up and anxiety-inducing behavior, something's not right and needs to be discussed or acted upon.

That's right, scurry back into your favela

Anyway OP try talking it out with him, do what makes YOU happy, not anyone else. Goodnight

>Anyway OP try talking it out with him, do what makes YOU happy, not anyone else. Goodnight
Thank for you really useless virtue signaling, here's a (you) and a fake "congratulations" for doing what's "right".
People like you make me sick, so hypocritical it physically hurts.

And remember a relationship is not a struggle to have things the right way, rather any relationship is unique, with it's own good and bad sides.

Thanks for the (you) faggot, hope it physically hurts so much you get an aneurysm!

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