>car parked outside my house
Car parked outside my house
David Gomez
Jace Russell
>it's the debt collector
Zachary Butler
>neighbor mows lawn at 4 am every day
Juan White
>guy across the street is also peaking through his blinds
Xavier Garcia
>waking up well rested in the morning
Henry Barnes
did they really come to face you in person? that would scare the shit out of me
Michael Torres
>be me
>be lying in bed wearing an ABDL diaper because I'm a degenerate
>have the bedroom window open to let in a breeze
>hear the sound of the industrial lawn mover the caretaker uses to mow the apartment lawns with
>judging by the sound, he's pretty far down the street by one of the other apartments in the neighborhood
>i get up to draw the curtains
>suddenly the caretaker on his lawnmower swings around the corner and drives straight towards me
>i fumble frantically with the curtains, but by now the guy is directly i front of my window
>we make eye contact for a brief second as I stand there in my Crinklz diaper with teddy bear print.
In hindsight I should've just dived onto the floor, but I was panicking and didn't think straight.
Hunter Hernandez
no
they send someone from the notary office
protip: don't accept and sign anything
Brayden Evans
>security camera detects motion
>pull up camera
>it's three sketchy looking weirdos pacing back in forth in front of my house
>camera doesn't have sound but i can see they are speaking to each other
>one of them points and my doors and windows and says something to the other two
>after a few minutes they leave
>another time a car pull into my driveway
>can see the two people in the car speaking to each other
>after a minute one of them points to my camera
>they both stop speaking and stare at my camera
>they immediately go into reverse and speed away
Nathaniel Anderson
>get high as balls
>spend the night paranoid that the cartel has sent a group of people to torture and mutilate me
>I live in rural Wisconsin and have nothing to do with the drug trade
Thomas Baker
>Redneck across the street covering various Bob Dylan songs on his guitar while yelling at his sister again
Carson Nguyen
>Bob Dylan
incredibly based desu
Thomas Gutierrez
if this is true i want to know more about your life as a fucking baby faggot
Luke Jackson
I collect debts for the power company. I'm so good at cutting power 95% of customers don't even catch me. Feels good man.
Charles Edwards
>when someone knocks on the door
Blake Clark
what about the remaining 5%?
Samuel Hughes
>People across the road are arguing again
Juan Rivera
They come outside I tell them to pay their bill and move on to the next cut.
Daniel Hall
>Oscar-Meyer Weiner-mobile parked outside my house
Julian Nelson
These type of threads, i like. Wish there were more jokes on r9k
Levi Williams
>he thinks were joking
its not ironic bro