Dumb things you did 11-17

wat.

You're going to have to expand on your fake story please.

i'm a smart boy i didn't do anything dumb

if anything, it made me sure I never want to 'experiment' with guys like everyone at my dorm did.

Describe the pool jump i want to do that

>ran about 10 long steps before putting a leg on the balustrade and leaped of it, landed in the center of the pull, but could've easily slipped and hurt myself.

>Didn't ask a single girl out because I figured "eh, I'll worry about that later." and just focused on school instead.
>Didn't use social media at all because adults always warned me about how dangerous it is

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>pic related, was 12

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I fucked a goat on an old guys farm

Same but
>Didn't ask a single girl out because I knew I didn't stand a chance
>Didn't use social media because it's shallow normie trash

>would usually pick up food off the floor and eat it as long as it looked good and o one could see me
>wanted to make it to senior year w/o dating anyone b/c i didn't want a relationship

i ate my own shit when i was 8 or 9

Too much to list.
>tortured and killed a bunch of animals
>lit the side of a store on fire at age 13 and got taken home by the police. no charges
>lit pretty much anything I could find on fire. was a major arsonist. this included the neighborhood cats
>cut a kid's arm to the bone with my boy scouts pocket knife because he didn't believe it was real. his mother was extremely religious and said she would pray for me, but forgave me
>stole constantly, from anyone and every store I went to. didn't even really want anything. was just thrilling to me to see how much I could get away with
>skipped school and broke so many rules that I was put on academic probation with an ankle monitor. didn't like that so I jumped out of my parent's car when they were going around 35 mph. sent to a juvenile mental ward for 2 weeks.
Lots more but those are the big ones.

took my parents opioids

Well to expand a little.
>Didn't ask a single girl out because I knew I didn't stand a chance
Kinda the opposite for me. People (not my peers mind you, only adults) always implied that I wouldn't have trouble getting girls because I was "just such a handsome young man" so I figured if it's so easy I don't need to worry about it.
>Didn't use social media because it's shallow normie trash
That was also part of my thought process at the time, but in hindsight I've come to understand that this is what cemented my robothood. I wish I'd grown up at a time before social media.

>break into a nearby elementary school and have fire extinguisher fight with my friends.
>One of the kids we were with was a little bitch and wound up crying to his mom after we got back to his house
>friends mom calls my dad to pick me up
>I'm covered in dried up fire extinguisher fluid
>he's pissed but doesn't say anything about it in the car ride home

>stabbed a boy with a pencil. Both of us were suspended

>signed a homework assignment with my period blood

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>get drunk with them
>spend 7 weeks getting raped in his bdsm cellar
kek that escalated too fast to be believable

>climbed on a building and started lobbing glass bottles around randomly until one ended up braking a windshield on a car
>gave a kid a bottle with my piss and told him it was soda
>cornered one of my bullies and started unloading into him with an airsoft rifle until an old man came outta nowhere and stopped me by taking my toy away
>got cornered myself by two bullies once in a block but i grabbed one and threatened to throw him down the stairs if they didnt leave me alone
>kept slapping the butts of my female colleagues all throughout school to annoy them
>broke the door of the block i live in while trying to get away from an angry guy,then assaulted his friend that was keeping the door closed from inside before running to my own apartment

Did that shit from the fire extinguisher hurt when it got in your eyes?

Fuck Im pathetic. I did do retarded shit but cant remember some from years long weed use in my teens
>got lost in woods for maybe 6 hours literally a straight path but forgot which way I came from
>news called it Offensive graffiti in town
>broke into a old house with friends and smashed all windows and fire extinguisher fight
>caught smoking on a bus
>in school I would only piss on the floor or walls
>Threw year old milk into someones car, window was down
>bricks being thrown at cars and stones at people
>went bald
>Some slightly gay shit at 9 wont tell
>pissed in the living room at a friends house intoxicated
>fought my dad
>blasted out take on me in school assembly
>threw useless pennies and stuff at construction workers and cars got chased
>stole hundreds of dollars worth of cigarettes around 11 and for a few years after that gave some of them out for free to people instead of selling
>me and Half of class threw condoms at a teacher
> didn't pay for most taxis if the driver wasnt white
>gave a lit cigarette to teacher outside of school
> lit fires a lot
>tried sex with dog but disgusted to stick it in
>drug scandal at school
Fights arent retarded are they?
have more will see if Im bothered

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>remote af town
>only charismatic guy our age is gay but we don't even understand the concept
>basically do whatever he says
>find something cool - he suggests we should wrestle over who gets to keep it (in our underwear)
>hot girls around - he asserts that if we'll try anything our/their parents will kill us, best way to keep each other inline is if we jack off together
>15th birthdays - he explains that we're all too poor to give each other anything good, but we can make a pact to give each other our first blowjobs - that way we'll always remember each other
>need a volunteer to take the blame for a major group fuck-up - he suggests we give unlimited blowjobs for one week to the one willing to take the blame
I did, mostly 'cause I didn't want to suck dick. Spent an entire week with my 3 best friends in rotation: one taking a break, one sucking my dick, one sucking balls - only stopping to sleep and piss. Punishment for the fuckup wasn't even that severe.
We only talked about how gay our teenage years were 10 years later.

>used to shoot stray dogs and cats with my bb gun in 6/7th grade
>in 8th grade a mega stacy used to massage my anus with her foot when we'd wait for lunch, it felt good but I never had the balls to fuck her
>used to steal beers from my dad at 14 and once drank a whole bottle of rum in one sitting and passed out in my own puke
>uses to brush my hand against girls' asses at 14
>accidentally stuck my fingers up the cute librarians ass during freshman year
>used to smoke tons of weed and stink up the whole house during the summer before sophomore year, would get so high that I'd bump into walls and shit
>stole codeine from the medicine cabinet and tried to get high from it
>used to shoplift little things from the stores I'd go to
>smoked weed out of a strawberry at a friends house with his entire family home
Thankfully I stopped being a shithead during sophomore year though I grew up to be a degenerate piece of shit.

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These two gentleman would like to hear more.

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>stole hundreds of dollars worth of cigarettes around 11
How the hell did you pull that off?

>accidentally stuck my fingers up the cute librarians ass during freshman year

Excusemewhat.
How do you do this accidentally???

Sounds quite hot to be desu

How the fuck did you steal cigarettes? They're behind the counter, aren't they?

Hot. Did it feel good? Are you muslim, per chance?

>went for a mountain biking wearing a long trenchcoat
>brush my teeth in a stream for a couple of weeks in a row while a sink was available all the time
>farted loudly while wearing headphones thinking that no one is gotta hear me since music is blasting out loud
>licked my own dick

Did you get hurt when you landed it in the pool enough to possibly injure outside of something minor like a slap mark? Did you hit the pool floor?

topper keeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek

I too groped a girl's ass when she wasn't looking in 7th or 8th grade. It was stupid but I don't regret it. At least I can say I touched a teen ass once in my life. And it was a delicious ass, I still remember her blue tights.

Half of them were not, Shitty shop. I grabbed loads and put them in school bag when no one was at the till and ran ive never been back and it closed a few years ago

Everyone?! Jesus fuck...

Hahaha that was revolting and hilarious at the same time

>I got high as a kid, A LOT.

Some more
> lit my leg hair on fire on the bus
>touched the gay kids ass accidentally
>had not cleaned dick cheese for 4 years(till 13) very satisfying to pull off
>got tied up to sinks, hands werent free and no one helped me for hours, humiliating
>fought the retarded deformed kid and almost lost, we both decided to stop though
>broke a lot of windows as a kid, some with my head
>retarded graffiti
>Done 9 lines of coke at school, ran out and diddnt come in for a week
> beat up by a 19 year old at 11 for insulting him

What did they do/say afterwards? They didn't see you but they felt it, right? Did you ninja vanish from the scene?

I was walking behind her at the school corridor and it was filled with people so when she turned around I acted like it wasn't me who did it. She didn't say anything.