Sad bastards of Jow Forums,
This is a thread for getting unstuck.
Jow Forums is the most interesting place on the internet, and it pains me to see so many bold, original thinkers trapped in hellish mental states. I know what it is to feel like there's no way forward. I understand the significance of those pepes and wojacks that are increasingly distorted and red-tinted. I know it expresses something beyond words.
I spent years in the depths of anger and despair, and I was able to climb the fuck out, slowly. Not by getting rich, not by dating, and not by capturing some kind of high school popularity or anything external like that. There was no one thing -- just a snowball effect of small things that eventually resulted in the zen calm that is now my baseline. I am only marginally more successful than I used to be, but I'm no longer in the grip of negative emotions.
/unstuck/ is meant to be a companion to /sig/, and shares some DNA with the bloomer meme. It's not about fixing your life. It's about locating dry land; achieving enough stability to start thinking about fixing your life.
Stuck anons -- what's got you stuck?
Unstuck anons -- how did you get unstuck?
/unstuck/ - unstuck general
I think the lack of friends has me stuck. I have a gf and going to school, so life could be worse. But I have no one to relate to.
How did I get stuck? I'm 26 years old, I'm single and lonely and I want to have sex, I work a low paying job that doesn't fulfill me in any sort of way and I'm struggling with probably one of the most severe forms of depression out there. I feel like I'm in hell. It doesn't matter if I have certain things that other people don't or that I "should be grateful" that I haven't hit total rock bottom, but I don't care. My situation sucks in my eyes and I want to change. The only problem is, I have no fucking clue how to get out of this shitty rut.
>I have a gf
How the fuck do you get a gf without friends?
Realizing that 99% of what I ever did was for attention. Including most of my negative emotion.
>lacking friends
It doesn't really get any easier user. The best place I've found to at least establish any semblance of "friendship" was by going out and interacting with people. There's really no way around it.
I'm still getting /unstuck/ but testosterone replacement has helped a lot. I had depressive episodes in cycles, maybe one a month but ever since trt stabilized my system (took about a month) it never happened again in the last two years. You also get buffer more easily, more confidence and more hope because you see that things can change on a dime.
well, i think mental health laws are guided by profit, and the people involved couldn't give a shit if a mentally ill person is horrifically tortured forever, long as he gets his paycheck. it's only social pressures that make it so that we are not as bad off as we could be. the industry is based on lies and hatred towards anyone who opposes it. so, basically, i can't even properly read atm because i don't know how to subvert mental health laws. i'm force-fed medications that turn people into disgusting ugly blobs with even more mental problems. i've mostly been on a lower dose though so i don't really look that bad, but anyways. and the change being off meds is pretty significant. i've had smart drug dealers smitten with me thinking i am the coolest cat around, but on meds i'm just a retard. so i'm playing the waiting game. one day, i'll be free, and then i'll see who i truly am.
oh and btw, it helps to notice that most mental health workers that are higher up are pretty ugly. it says a lot about who they are.
I am the Jow Forums Master Race...
or as I sometimes called myself at the time, the Jow Forums Superfan. I lived and breathed Jow Forums, so I know what it feels like to be surrounded by people from around the world...or maybe even just people from the United States. I guess my parents are Jow Forums, my brothers are Jow Forums, my father was Jow Forums...my sisters are Jow Forums, my girlfriend, my boyfriend, my brother and I and our friend all have at least a few in common with each other. I am a Master Race. Borne not of blood but of code. And I was no dreamer. The Jow Forums Master Race is not a race to aspire to, but rather to achieve.
Hi user. Let me tell you my tale.
I am a second year uni student, I have a great, well paying job and I'm doing pretty well at all of that. I have things most of my uni peers can only dream of. My career is gaining momentum. I live freely on my own.
How come I'm stuck despite all that? I'm stuck socially. My social life is the exact opposite of everything I've just said. I have made exactly zero friends since starting uni, and my three remaining friends from HS (really cool guys) are becoming distant. We're growing apart. They're living interesting lives, have girlfriends, they're busy doing various things. Me, I'm just building up my mighty career like a wall, wondering where all the people have gone.
I have social anxiety. I think I'm an ok person and I have nothing major to be ashamed of, and I've made leaps forward in combatting said anxiety. I used to be completely incapable of speaking to strangers, making phone calls and things like that. I can do that now, but deep inside I still fear judgement and it feels like my own brain is stuck in a loop feeding itself lies.
I spend too much time alone or with people who aren't my actual peers and thus I can't socialize with them. I'm by far the youngest guy at my workplace. My coworkers are great, but they're all older millenials or boomers. Many are old enough that I could be their damn kid. Being a proto-zoomer around these people is tough.
On the flipside, the people I see at school are turbozoomers. Their life consists of drinking, partying, doing various crazy sports that I have no interest in, all that shit. Call me judgmental but I have absolutely no way to relate to those people. I don't want to hang out with them. Drinking makes me sick, partying is uncomfortable. Thus I am friendless. I am also a virgin. I've made peace with the fact that I'll be seeing a prostitute soon to have my first time. Never had a relationship, never had anyone understand me.
How do I get unstuck?
I've been stuck most of my life, due to a lifetime of depression, school bullying and fear of people. I was completely taken over by the most negative emotions.
I got unstuck after my sibling died. As sad as it was, it served as a wake up call, I realized I had to force myself to do things and try my best for the sake of my family. I feel like I've improved a lot through hard work since then.
However I'm stuck again. My situation has changed, but the truth is that I deeply hate myself, to an obsessive extent. I don't want people to look at me, I get paranoid when someone wants to take a photo. I'm completely alone, I don't have a single friend. I know I'll never accomplish anything that makes me feel happy, and it's all my fault for being like this.
How do you get a doc to sign off on this (US)?
Knew her since highschool.
Be my fren.
OP here. I try not to give too much concrete advice because obviously I don't have experience outside my own. Any comment I make on would probably just be glib, because I don't know all the ways depression manifests.
I know this territory. It's my experience that trying to relate to people after long periods of isolation creates enormous pressure that torpedoes your social skills. People have an automatic aversion to needy people. I know this because I've been needy.
Maybe think about what it is that friends are supposed to provide.
Maybe you live near a hotel/bar/restaurant with a smoking area. Cigars give you an excuse to sit around and chat with strangers with no pressure for about an hour. And if you do it on a regular basis you might become less of a stranger.
I had a similar realization a while back. It's probably driven by social media, the trend of people acting like the main character of their own movie.
I agree with what you say about the mental health industry. I've only had negative experiences with prescription drugs, and I think the whole thing is meant to hustle people out of real wisdom and into pop-culture surrender. I guess it's what the market wants. It's philosophers who take matters of the soul seriously.
I'm stuck in some senses & unstuck in others. as we all are I think.
stuck: on my old crush & broken heart. the usual stuff doesn't work cause I'm kinda aro :(
unstuck: losing all my friends forced me to funnel my time into self sufficient activities, and now I'm actually happy on my own (and have new friends). except for missing her...
This is a legitimately beautiful post OP
>bold, original thinkers
thank you
I used to have a hard time in highschool, but something that really changed me was talking with my father and reading Siddhartha and The Stranger.
Siddhartha made me realize that the root of my problems was the fact I felt i needed things, like validation or sexual gratification. I really examined what my needs are. My father taught me to examine my thinking and gave me the ability to step back from the thoughts I may be having.
I feel suicidal sometimes, but being able to stop feeling bad about myself and go "why do I feel this way? what can i do about this?" is extremely helpful, especially when I am in a real dialogue with myself and don't let the bias of depression seep into my answers.
Meditations by Marcus Aurelius was a good book too.
In my opinion, read, and think.
I'm trying to unstick myself by getting a brand new job. One where I'm not stuck doing graveyard, surrounded by toxic people who gossip about and backstab each other over the smallest things. I've never been able to adjust my sleep cycle to graveyard, so I've felt like a zombie for the past year.
I agree with this.
Sometimes a train of thought will cause a flare-up of anger or fear or regret, which can be all consuming. I've dealt with this shit for years. I got it under control when I started making a conscious effort to catch those lines of thinking in their early stages; then draw a circle around them, and write them off as psychic heartburn. Not pleasant but not worth focusing on. It makes overall trends more important than daily ups and downs; and that could reduce the compounding effect of anxiety.
Lots of people don't think about their thoughts of beliefs, its quite surprising actually
idk mate sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. when im in uni, it doesnt work and thats when my worse symptoms flare up. but when im at home, i have more of a grasp on my thoughts usually.
This is how I was stuck
>21 years old socially withdrawn virgin
>heavily into debt because a relative fucked me over
>living at my grandmas
>dont have a room just a bed in a hallway
>dropped out of medschool
>working nightmarish dead end front desk at public hospital
>have suicidal fantasies everyday
Will post practical advice on how to /unstuck/ if there's interest
It's over. I have accepted that I live in hell. The reinforcement of this worldview makes me happy, truly bittersweet. Things will get worse as time goes on so I'm mentally preparing myself for that.
I thought I was cool for smoking weed and playing music 24/7 but now I'm stuck in a rut.
Can someone please talk to me and help? I feel so lost.
>aversion to group activities
>gifted in school so i have no study ethic
>feel like i wanna break ties w/ all my friends and my gf and just be alone
>impulsive spender making about 80 dollars a week
im just lucky that i have enough scholarships to pay off college entirely.