I have not received a compliment in nearly 2 years. I have had no positive reinforcement since high school. I am 20 years old and I am going to kill myself tonight.
I have not received a compliment in nearly 2 years. I have had no positive reinforcement since high school...
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youre gonna kys because people dont compliment you?
are you female
I'm male. Every one of my friends moved away after the first year of college and I am working minimum wage to live. I am stressed and overwhelmed from school and I still remember the last compliment I received, from a young cashier nearly 2 years ago who said my eyes look really nice.
Pain is only temporary. We all have struggles but we get through them and not let them define us. I spent my 6-9th grade year without a single friend and was pretty suicidal. But now I am now kinder and never take a friend for granted, and have made some great friends after years of isolation. You can make it through this, just try to set and keep realistic/specific goals of self-improvement.
>not being a masterrace schizoid
I have no idea when the last time I was paid a compliment or an insult. I don't even pay attention to that shit. I assume I've had one or the other in the last 2 years just because it seems likely, but I could be wrong.
I have tried. I got fit. I'm introverted but not awkward. I'm always nice to everyone and I work really hard at my job and school. I wear good clothes and I exude confidence. People just aren't interested in me. My friends don't check up on me, now that they have moved. I have sometimes gone an entire day or couple days without saying a single word, simply because nobody spoke to me.
I'm trying to find a reason to live and its hard. I'm doing everything right. What am I missing???? I have a job, money, in school, I'm no model but I like to think I am decent looking. People loved me in the past. Why am I a nobody now?
I am literally not joking, I have a gun on my desk. My mental health has really deteriorated and I feel like I am just doing the same shit over and over to no avail
Have you tried getting into religion user? I'm not going to shill for any religion, but it seems like religions in general can help people find a purpose.
No fuck that. I'm passed that, if anything I hope this is all just a simulation and that when I die I wake up
I can only wish you godspeed and success. I'll see you on the other side when I work up the courage to take my own life.
i had an old lady approach me at the chinese buffet the other day and she told me that i was blessed with the most wonderful head of hair she's ever seen. It made me feel happy for the rest of the day.
Describe yourself. There's something good about you in there.
this moment will pass
receiving compliments does not make a person happy - only inner happiness and confidence can
you must go, now, on a quest
a quest to find yourself
it is dangerous and deadly, but shall awaken you to life's possibility
if it is only one moment of happiness is it not worth the struggle
don't kill yourself tonight, please
livestream your suicide, you nigger
I've had a gun in my mouth before, My best life moments were after i put that gun in my mouth.
If you really wanted to be dead you would already be dead, You still want to live which is why you came here
Death may seem appealing but it isn't, Once you actually pull that trigger everything inside of you will fight to stay alive. It will be the most intense pain in your life and your last moments on this earth will be misery and regret.
There is no easy way out of this life but i can tell you this, The past doesn't exist, the future doesn't exist, all that matter is the present and the present is ever changing, The suffering you are feeling right now in this moment may be horrible but if you change your framework of thinking the suffering CAN go away. I had to teach myself how to not be miserable and you can learn as well.
Don't do it, You have value.
This IS all just a simulation, you're damned right. But you will not just "wake up", you'll be sent back and you'll have to do it all over again. Again and again, until you get it "right". I can't tell you what "right" for you would be, but it isn't suicide. You should try DMT, buy it off the dark web. Shrooms might be a better place to start if you're new to psychedelics. It's like learning how to swim, learning to navigate the psychedelic space. When you really think about it, nothing should exist. It should all just be an infinite void. Yet here we are.
You're far too young to die. Everything starts making a lot more sense as you approach 30.
Maybe you'd be happier in a 3rd world country. Everything is much more simple there. Perhaps just sleep on it. Or shit, you know what else would be better than suicide? Trying heroin. It'll take all your pain away. If you're gonna just kys anyway, what harm is there?
20? Don't do it. Most men can't really tell how our lives will turn out until we're in our 30s or 40s. Played out advice, but try to take it one day at a time. And it's hard but use your introversion to your benefit and focus the energy inward by setting small goals each day.
Before you do something stupid how about you do something out of your norm. Go for a run, Just run and keep running. Run until you drop dead.
>I have a job, money, in school, I'm no model but I like to think I am decent looking
None of these things are as important as people make them out to be.
What is it that you want in life? What do you like to do? Separate from everyone else and their expectations of you, let's just say you're the only man left on the planet, what would you do? Do you want to draw, cook, play music? Whatever it is in life that you find comfort in, pursue it and forget the bullshit, because that's what it is, it's all bullshit.
Everyone has something good about them, user. Do you really want to kill yourself? You're only 20 years old and haven't had time to do anything yet that would get you compliments. Are you really going to end it with an existence you can't look back on in pride? Life sucks at them moment but that just means that it can only get better. Work on yourself and do things that you can be proud of. When you realize your own potential, others will too.
Death isn't the answer to your problems user, it's only a quick escape.
It's just a ride, user
I'm not gonna pretend to give a fuck about you
I don't but i'll give you advice because helping other people is the only thing that makes me happy.
All you need to do to get out of this personal hell is to stop fighting your fate. Learn to accept reality and live within it. It may be hard but once you realize that you are in control of your emotional state you can find inner peace despite your environment.
I am white. Brown hair with reddish tinge, I wear it short on the sides but messy on top, naturally wavy hair. I am 5'10" and have relatively normal/above average muscle mass with some bodyfat.
I dress in dark tones but with greys and tans, sometimes color if I feel like it.
I dont have any notable talents or skills, I never really committed to anything growing up.
I wanted to be a teacher. I was a TA in an elementary school for about half a year, it was alright. I work at a rec facility and run various sports programs and activities throughout the year.
In short I feel like I appear as a background character to nearly every person around me. I dont attract attention, not that I try to.
I make lots of mistakes. I feel like I wasnt meant to be in this world. I crashed my car last year and my insurance went up 3x what it was, and now I'm in crippling debt, on top of school tuition. I have messed up every romantic encounter I had (I havent gotten attention from women for the past year and a half or so though).
I am incredibly average in all respects. But I'm just another number. I dont matter
I have been on this quest for as long as I can remember. It has only gotten harder with more and more hurdles.
I guess you have a point sort of. I dont have heroin though. I dont want to wait that long. What if when I turn 30 its just the same shit except I'm older? I'll have even less to work with because my youth has left me.
I know people will say I shouldnt compare myself to others, but why is everyone else so happy and successful? I'm on the sidelines. People dont even pretend to care about me.
I don't know. I bought a gun last week to think it over. It has been in my dresser since I bought it. I look at it and I feel nothing, but when I press it against my head I feel fear. I am so afraid and alone. I want it to be over but my survival instincts are telling me otherwise. But a part of me says that it is the best solution because nobody is going to stop me anyways. I dont think anyone would care
The people commenting care about you enough to try and talk you out of it. What about your parent or siblings? You're too young to die
and it's clear from your fear that you don't want to, so why not just wait the bad times out and work towards a better future? If you're lonely and need a friend, I don't mind. :)
Yes I have a brother. I dont tell him I love him at all but secretly he is one of my favorite people. I sometimes think about what he would think if I did kill myself. But I just want a release. I wish someone showed that they cared about me. My parents raised me in such a way as to be independent. They support me but I never got physical or emotional affection growing up. I had a girlfriend for a small while after high school who gave me those things but I ended up breaking up with her for unrelated reasons.
I really appreciate everyone's responses. I put my gun back into my dresser and I'm just going to go to sleep. I might see a therapist again but they have never helped so what would the point be really. I am going to go and talk to a stranger in school tomorrow and see what happens. I really hope I can get through this because I dont want to die but i want to stop suffering. I dont matter to anyone but I will try to see if I can matter to myself