User can you fix my computer? It's been going slow recently and I can't check my emails

>user can you fix my computer? It's been going slow recently and I can't check my emails

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Hold ma beer, granny, I got this.

Delete system 32 it'll go a lot faster

Family IT-support, not even once

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Answer 1: Fuck, no!
Answer 2: £30 an hour, then take an absolute minimum of 3 hours to clean that shit up.

Found the 16yo.

At this point, i would just tell whoever asked me this to buy a new one.
If the browser looks like that, i can't imagine the rest of the PC

I'd be more concerned of how the computer case looks inside.

>I told you fucks I don't fix computers, I write software

I'd nuke or replace every XP and earlier pc which accesses the net out of principle honestly

you need that gorilla
don't deinfest the gorilla
that gorilla juggles n shit

>click to win a free lobster dinner
Fucking boomers

I don't see what the problem is here, everything looks fine to me.

"download these cool viruses"

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ITT: Underage OP mad as fuck at his grandma

>sister asks me to fix win7 laptop
>leaves it at my house, forgets to give me password
>open lid up, try a password literally once
>logged in
>run some antivirus, clean shit up
>give it back to her, she thanks me, never realizes what happened
She is honest to good the dumbest person I've ever known, but still I never imagined it would take a single try. I didn't spell different, put a capital, just went in. One fucking second.
It's not even like I know a lot about her life to guess it, we're not close, only see her once or twice a year.

he

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Install gentoo

>installing a linux distro on a family member's computer
savage

ElementaryOS or even MemeBuntu works if only surf and mail, ocasional pic-view

My sister has so many computer problems and she never shuts up about them, but she absolutely will not let me touch her shit. She wants advice on problems she can barely describe without even letting me see the thing. I should really just start telling her to install Gentoo, since it's not like I can give her any real advice.

>user WHY DO MY WORD AND POWERPOINT FILES LOOK ALL MESSED UP
>user I CAN'T ACCESS THIS WEB APP FOR WORK
>user I WANTED TO DOWNLOAD game BUT IT WON'T WORK
>user THIS FLASH GAME I DOWNLOADED WON'T PLAY

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Chrome really is an asshole for dropping support for flash. Sucks i have to use ie11 for /f/

>works if only surf and mail, ocasional pic-view
like i said, only those things.
honestly though, you get everyone of those problems with windows too. Every Main-Update to Office totally changes the UI, win and lnx web-apps are rendered the same since its standarized and you use chrome or ff, flash-game support is done for in ALL browsers and if your pic related wants to play a game but cant even clean up her desktop then she can go royally fuck herself

Oh no, it looks like a virus. Damn it, it's the Nostradums virus too, which is particularly bad. Unfortunately, you're going to have to pay for the $2500 virus remover, grandma. But don't worry, I'll fix your computer for free after you buy the virus remover. :)

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>Ubuntu 8.04
N i g g a w h a t

works on my machine

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gates lost any idea of what his software is/it's structure ~ 1987

there is no structure

as gates said relatively recently

"his biggest mistake" = WINFS

his biggest mistake is not being the steward of / delivering software with any design/structure

his biggest mistake is not being competent

his mother got him the licensing deal of the century, that was it, period. It's not like he invented "the drill bit" - xerox parc did

he took it and wrecked it. He's not interested in software, he's not interested in programming - he's interested in money & his own entitlement to it.

jobs would've thrown a tantrum and fired them all

he said his biggest REGRET
in life = WINFS -- his biggest failing - not inventing anything of worth, beyond that "drill bit" picked up, marketed .. xerox parc had superior software, way way before. Apple did. But it was the PC and all that was needed was a "robust filing system" / marginal GUI. He provided nothing but a lousy drill bit. All this "gates is a genius", pisses me off. Windows software/infastructure is a malformed mess, product of drug addicts. Amateurs. Who got the keys

they regressed human history
the lowest standard in the business, something apart. Gates is a criminal little brat

they didn't invent shit.
ever. theyre out of mobile because they can't compete in a real marketplace

flashplayer has no problem running on linux

KILL ME

The FSF starter pack.