You're the manager of a company who needs to hire a new developer...

what about that woman in the back?
I could be on her backend while she docks my socket. I'm gonna send a stream of data so strong into her buffer that she's going to need to ask for TCP in order to get an algorithm for congestion avoidance.

but he probably thinks very highly of himself and secretly despises your code base. dou you really want to hire him?

>You consider the two people in the front in this picture.
>two people in the front
>front
>"hurr ill choose guy in back"

>woman

Guy on right looks to have a full voltage thinkpad with a 9 cell. Great taste. Less tasteless RDD stickers. Probably also comes with a get it done attitude, seeing as he also looks like he needs glasses, but he's there to participate anyway.

Hired.

Anyone with a thankpood is probably alright.

The Applel dude. He looks serious.

pretty sure that's a vaginabled woman user but you do you

Obvious the ThinkChad. He wears nicer clothes, has the right tools for serious work, and looks relaxed. He's also eating a bag of Stacy's pita chips, which are fucking delicious.

On the other hand the iVirgin has a bunch of childish stickers, a bottle of water, a vacuum packed bag of whateverthefuck from whole foods, and his facial expression says he's lost in his own asshole but trying to look focused. He wears a cheap and shitty purple shirt. He looks like fag and his shit's all retarded.

Attached: 1528301970181.png (835x1080, 875K)

I'd choose the left one. He is the battletank. During times of *[1]war he is the one blazing machineguns and firing rockets while the guy in the right is just hiding behind the bunker. The left guy is nothing but pure performance. Project success is what he has in mind.

The right one? All thats in his mind is to get promoted and all that shit.

>thinkpad guy looks like a literal serial killer, razor sharp eyes and dead focused on the target...
Umm nope. He's trying hard to show his fake and sarcastic personality but ends up looking like a fool. Thats how he looks

*[1]: during times of struggle, deadlines, chaos, and mismanagement

fedoras are usually alt-light

probably the thinkpad guy, even if i have to deal with alt-right bs from him at least his code will probably look okay

>redbubble stickers
not even if it was on a thinkpad

let me roll out the whiteboard

The guy on the right has a haircut that really pisses me off; I'm pretty sure he gelled it. Also the neckbeard seems dedicated. Dude looks like he's absorbing the information being presented. Douche haircut looks lost and mildly perturbed. I would hire the neckbeard and kick the other guy in the balls for being such a normie queer.

whichever one has the most compatible personality for others on my team.

What are all those Cisco boxes for?

The chad in the right because he's not a faggot with a macbook

Whoever asks for lower compensation

Neckbeard doesn't have a JUST haircut so him. His hair doesn't look greasy either so despite being a neckbeard, he does appear to take care of himself.

The point here is youre making your decision based off superficial features.

I never understood why so many people have docker stickers. I get sticker for languages, where you’ve made a significant time investment (or want to appear to have done so), and editors or hobby stuff where it is something you claim allegiance to or enjoy, but docker is literally just a tool unnassociated with any sort of editor-war type fanboyism. It’s like have a ford sticker and a Cummins sticker on your truck, along with a sticker for safelight or some other service which is both useful and entirely uninteresting

>le rage comic stickers
into_the_trash.jpg

>I'm a mac!
>and I'm a pc!

Nigga I will break him

There's no way for me to pick between them. I've noticed that in tech, it's hard to judge skill by the kind of stuff you can tell from this photo. I mean, I'm sure I could do it if I had more experience and/or better deductive powers, but it's certainly non-trivial.

Why are you giving him (you)s?

I actually worked recruiting people for a relatively big IT company. Let's see:

>disgusting fatso
>messy beard
>laptop full of "HEY LOOK AT ME I NEED TO BROADCAST MY PREFERENCES ABOUT STUPID SHIT IN ORDER TO VALIDATE THEM BECAUSE I'M SO GOD DAMN INSECURE" stickers
>and to top it all a fucken mac

VERSUS

>not obese
>knows how to dress properly
>chad chin
>decent laptop with only one, not flashy sticker

I'd just tell him to remove the sticker and then hire him. Easy.

what about guy with mac?

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The one on the right looks like a cunt so no. Maybe the guy on the left if he can talk like a human and is good at what he does. I'll just stick him in a backroom where nobody can see him and he probably wouldn't even complain.

Neither. They both are unkempt, dress like shit, and are ugly. I know that they didn't choose to be born American, but they need to at least try.

neckbeard, because i relate and because he's probably more passionate for programming

The one on the right, stickers are for faggots

>I'd just tell him to remove the sticker and then hire him. Easy.

remove a sticker off a thinkpad?? lol good luck

Pretty easy for anyone who took basic chemistry in high school

Why do neck-beards put tacky stickers all over their computers?
I wouldn't want to hire anyone like that.

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guy on the right
from looks
>mature
>organized
and why not the guy on the left,
>immature
>disorganized
>looks unstable
>meme stickers

guy on right also looks more well adjusted and has a better chance of getting a wife and kids further stabilizing his place in a company due to the need of stable income and need for strong roots to raise said children

lefty would probably leave after a while to chase a higher wage, wasting the time it would take to train him and would slow down the project hes currently on

Tech is filled with lefty homosexuals isn't it? I'm tired of seeing effeminate men with decorations on their machines.

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Left because the dude on the right looks like a faggot. His do is just a hair north of JUST tier and his clothes are trying to impress me.

If u could be anyone else in the world who would u be

The guy on the left, the other dude is too busy looking at cars all day.

Whoever does best in the interview. Fat bastard loses points for not having his hair pulled back...I myself have long hair (wife loves it) and would never dream of working in ANY professional environment with my shit in my face.

So aside from that whoever does better in a one on one interview and seems the least whiney.

The thinkpad degenerate because the macfag already has a job, for sure.

I hate stickers with think white borders.

Attached: Daenerys egg.jpg (1500x1000, 186K)

tiger woods

are they going to use their laptop after eating those snacks? disgusting

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Outside the box thinking is how you get a promotion.

the wymmn in the back to reach my diversity quota

Obviously jeb bush in the middle there.
He knows how to win the race, slow and steady.
Also he has a Mac. That shows he's dedicated and knows what he's doing.

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>Also he has a Mac. That shows he's dedicated and knows what he's doing.
If he'd know what he's doing he would have chosen a Thinkpad.

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>people choosing the guy on the left because they identify themselves as him

>all these people who don't realize the guy on the left is using a mac

Jeb uses thinkpad

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Attached: jeb_computer_decal.jpg (802x522, 20K)

Neckbeard
He lives for this shit. He has no other life. He wont complain at insane workloads. He has no kid, no ffamily. The perfect wageslave.

ThinkPad guy because he looks like someone I would hang out with at a party

Both look equally virgin.

So id probably be a sensible human and interview both of them

Attached: Capture.png (534x380, 463K)

the guy with the pita chips
fuck those things are tasty

wtf i love neoconservatism now

The neckbeard looks like he'd be a better developer. The chad looks like more of a management type to me.

The right one because that bearded cuck will one day enter the office holding a shotgun and kill all of us.

based and redpilled

I would probably interview them rather than hire based on appearance.

I'd do a word association with words such as "problematic," "triggering," "preferred pronouns," etc. Whoever answers closest to "nonsense," "nonsense," and "nonsense" gets the job.

>neoconservatism
>neo
>conservatism
May I ask how?

The cisco boxes in the back

ID on that thinkpad model?

X220

Are you retarded?

I'll let fizzbuzz decide

jeb installed gentoo, everything is explained now

Another Jow Forumsthinkpad user. Please return to Reddit, friend.

>MacBook
>hideous red case
>Python and Go stickers

Attached: no.png (400x400, 189K)

>safe replacement for human sexual contact
This is just what I've been looking for.

without proof of work i wouldnt hire anyone

yeah JUST guys are cool

Guy on the right, fuck docker.

the underqualified female.

Not even trollibg but both look like nerd incels to me. Left one is a bit worse though,vwould hire neither.

I choose the macfag in the back, because he is too much of a pussy to complain about the 14 hour workdays and appalling workplace conditions that I will force him to endure.

>Identifying avocado.jpg

the right guy.
but if i can choose everyone in the pic the greyhaired guy.

Right looks like he absolutely hates his job and does everything as a formality.
Left looks absolutely sarcasting, an actor, he wants to show off how supposedly into IT he is.
Guy in the back just knows his shortcomings and works on them. Coding, yo.
Boomer FTW.

neck beard is interested in the position and hoping to advance, he prepared and looks professional
numale is a lazy fuck looking for "a job", he didn't even shave and just slathered the most expensive product that his girlfriend had into his hair

You talk about both of them but it really fits just the fat one.

'cisco'
nobody sees this

wow, this thread is shit

>pathetic attempt at Unix beard
>snowflake shell
>le facepalm
>raspberry pi
>no anime
Lawsuit waiting to happen.

right is microshit / linkeln / github (now)

left is groomed and on schedule
right didn't get any sleep last night because he was too busy dealing with "trolls" on his sjw discord

>I'm tired of seeing effeminate men with decorations on their machines.
You sound really manly