Bidets are Jow Forums as fuck. Let's get a bidet thread going pals

Imagine praising a trip fag. Can you at least post with a trip so I can filter you

Now I'm curious af. What did you do, burn your house down?

Only mention of alcohol I could find was when I insinuated a fly had more intellect than some dumb frogposter.

warosu.org/g/?task=search2&ghost=yes&search_text=alcohol&search_subject=&search_username=&search_tripcode=!eMRS5YxXBA&search_email=&search_filename=&search_datefrom=&search_dateto=&search_op=all&search_del=dontcare&search_int=dontcare&search_ord=new&search_capcode=all&search_res=post

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*blocks your path*
>but muh sewers
Don't flush and throw it the bin you fucking virgin. If there is a female in your house, there is a bin in the bathroom. Throw the wet wipes in there. Wipe with normal toilet paper first, use wet wipes to completely remove remains. Water DOESN'T WORK. You can try using a wet wipe after a water wash and see for yourself that there is still poop after water washing

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Why does a tripcode trigger you so much? Or are you one of those board "culture" bootlickers who want Jow Forums to be your personal hug box?

Force that meme nigger!
FORCE IT!

But what the fuck am I supposed to do at work? You can't just fucking be a guy walking around with a bag of ass wipes. Fucking sucks

Do it you bitch, FUCKING DO IT!

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>Now I'm curious af.
archive.rebeccablacktech.com/g/thread/67468911/#67474157

>put shit covered wipes in the trash can
No thanks, I'm good

I flush wet wipes and im in the UK, wtf is wrong with your american sewage system?

I have a bidet and fucking love it. Took an hour to install, cost $30, and I don't blow through toilet paper trying to get clean.

Only idiots don't use bidets.

What in the name of fuck.

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Don't ever use a bidet in work. Do you want to introduce someone else's anal bacteria to yours?!
It doesn't smell retard, the alcohol kills the smell and you have a lid on it anyway

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>throw it the bin you fucking virgin.
t. Beaner tier

>not having a shower after every shit
might as well shit on the streets

That's a lot of showers. I shit like 3 times a day. In fact I'm shitting on you this very moment.

Lel. MFW I just wipe my ass clean with rubbing alcohol.

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>shit like 3 times a day.
I'd literally kill myself if I had to do this.
all my life I only shit once a day

>I'd literally kill myself if I had to do this.
I'm pretty sure that this is the reccommended amount of shits a day.

You're still a boy.

stop eating so much.

>I flush wet wipes
>im in the UK
>there's nothing wrong with me
>there's something wrong with your american sewage system!
>clearly didn't stop to think "am I harming the UK sewage system function with my actions?"
even the bio-degradable wipes aren't good for sewers, m8. they clog up the pipes, even if it doesn't affect you and your shitter personally

Wrong user fucker.

When I was actively losing weight I only shat once per day. How much you shit is directly related to how much you eat. Like if I eat a shitload then I shit a shitload too.

Also why do they call it taking a shit when you actually leave one not take it?

>there's something wrong with your american sewage system!
California isn't America. I can flush anything down my shitter without repercussion.

Something ain't rite mang. I'd go see doc if I were you. Do you always feel bloated or sick?

Mutts are on par with Pajeets when it comes to hygiene. Disgusting people.

That's an awesome image to force-meme into memedom. I've even seen it used unironically by normies on facebook, so if that's really yours (big if true), then seriously good job, I'm proud of you.

It's common to use an antibacterial on your ass in America, so Americans have cleaner bung holes on average then the puddle butts.

Did your diet include starving to death? Also because we take time to do it thus we reassure others their time will be wasted as well letting them prepare for altercations on time that may arise later.

most people shit once a day.

No but I only ate a small snack at lunch time then a regular meal at dinner.

Even now (just maintaining my weight at about 200 pounds) I only shit once a day unless I go on some drunken binge which happens sometimes. Then I'll shit 2 or 3 times.

Not if they're healthy. Jist because most people weight 2-3X as much as they should and die in their 40s from diseases caused by or worsened by weight problems doesn't mean you should do the same.

If only they would learn to shower regulary

As a person who is currently having wicked bad lava style diarrhea, I really fucking wish I had a bidet.

I just have to settle for crying in the shower and begging God to end my life.
Fuck you cinnamon life cereal, fuck you.

lmaoing at the multipoopers
You guys must eat literal trash or be super morbidly obese

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Most Americans shower twice a day. Once in the morning, and once in the evening. Maybe a third shower during lunch if you had some sex, but mostly 2 showers a day is normal for most.

Dam man, you should go see doc too. Alcohol could be fucking with something down there.

constipationexperts.co.uk/blog/2015/12/does-drinking-alcohol-cause-constipation.html

Carlin riffed for like five minutes on shits, wew
You just reminded me of listening to his records as a wee lad and laughing so hard, haven't thought about that in forever, thanks for the great memories

that ain't even a bidet you damned amerimutts

>3 times a week
Maybe if you're a fucking snake.

>being this much of a moral fag
They don't harm anything faggot, they even say flushable. enjoy the stench of your shitpaper bin.

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just spraying water all over your ass without being able to use any kind of body wash or soap sounds uncomfortable as hell

Does the bidet spray cold water up your ass or is it warm?

>once a day
I shit at most twice a week, I eat at least 3 times a day and I don't feel sick or anything. I'm 24 and i've shat like this my entire life.

>tfw big rectum

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>I shit at most twice a week

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They don't make assholes like they used to, you gotta get you a mate and spread them big booty genes

google.com/amp/s/www.clickhole.com/extremely-polite-this-kid-on-vacation-with-his-friend-1828314747/amp

>If only they would learn to shower regulary
Your country, and showers per week?

I have a housemate who shits like once a week. And 50% of the time his shit is stuck and can’t be flushed away. First time he had no idea and just walked straight to me and said ‘Hey bro, my shit is stuck. Have any way to deal with it?’

Also, tfw no bidet in Straya

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USA here, 14 showers per week on average
>1 when I wake up
>1 after all the ``work'' of a day is over, when I know I won't be doing anything else to create sweat

That guy is going to fucking die. What drugs does he take? It's usually drugs that cause this severe level of constipation.

Occasionally 3 in a day if I get home from work sweaty and have to go out again later*

Tell your friend to drink more water, and just wait until the hard turd soaks enough water before you try to flush it down.
>mfw I used to eat MREs, and had the same problem
same fore me

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user's friend is probably using opiods, or was eating a high sodium diet.

You guys ever see a poop from an opiate user?
I still have this pic from 2014 from work
Penny for scale

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Nothing. Sometimes he shits out too much blood and has to take a shower after that. Also he’s one of those guys who drinks coke everyday instead of water but still manage to be skinny as fuck. Not sure what’s wrong with his body.

>Nothing.
>Sometimes he shits out too much blood and has to take a shower after that.
Must be a metric ton of "nothing".

wtf it looks like plastic lmao

>Sometimes he shits out too much blood
I wonder if his turds are ripping up his insides, or if he has cancer.

>when you see blood in the water after pooping and freak out but then remember u had beets recently

Wait, it has?!?!
That’s like celebration worthy! Holy shit!

>not using the shower head with strong water pressure created by blocking the water holes with your palm
Comfy as fuck

Thanks now I can't eat beets anymore in the horrifying chance that they'll give me a false negative.

I usually poop before I take a shower, then when I'm in there I just let the water run down my back and into my butt area and I use my hand to manually clean out my butthole. I don't stick a finger inside the butthole but you can clean the outside really well and usually there's no poop left inside if you know how to poop correctly.

Never get bad poop feels using this technique unless I have to poop while out and get a bad wipe.

I wonder what it would feel like after getting an enema. I want to get one, but I also don't want anyone to shove something up my ass.
Are there any legit home enema kits?

I lost brain cells reading this.

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shit meant colonic.

I only let the pressured water jet on my asscrack, is there ever shit left after that? I never wipe after damn. I spread my ass cheeks too to make sure the water cleans well

My anus once shot out a stream of blood so hard it pieces through the water and stuck at the bottom. It was just hermorroids though

Toto S350e are ballin'

They are pooping in the future. If you're not washing your ass with superior Japanese ass washing robots, how can you even claim to enjoy technology.

Get on my level plebs.

You should finish up with a few wipes of rubbing alcohol. It might burn at first, but afterwards you r ass will be squeky clean, and healthy.

Shoot water straight to your butthole. Let it go inside then just shit the water out. 100% clean of crap

If it gets in your blood stream (say you have some anal fissures that day from a big poop) will it cause harm?

I can fap to this.

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If anything it will cure it within time.

>Jow Forums discuss smartphones/computers
Shitstorm, trolling etc
>Jow Forums discuss bidets and toilet hygiene
Civilized discussion, many different insights and recommendations

My ass used to ocassionally bleed, but after using the rubbing alcohol method my current asshole is impervious to everything.

Nice I might give it a go sometime, I love the idea of a squeaky clean butt but I'm also wary of doing anything to harm my butthole because any sort of discomfort or ailment you get in that area gets amplified as it gets irritated during the day.

you probably don’t wash your hands after taking a shit/use your shitty MacBook while on the shitter too

shitposting at its finest

We take our shitposting very seriously.

It will be painful at first if you have a problematic asshole, but I promise you that your asshole will heal very fast from being completely clean at all times, and that your life will change for the better.

who would use this?
What if you could install a stool analyzer in your pipes and get messages about the contents of your stools?

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I'm to the point where I just wipe my ass with rubbing alcohol even without having to shit. It's very refreshing.

RECOMMENDED AMMOUNT OF SHITS PER DAY

>the botnet now knows more about your body than your doctor
nah m8, I want to make it harder for skynet to kill me not easier.