Wealthy venture capitalist here. Give me your stupid ass start-up ideas

Wealthy venture capitalist here. Give me your stupid ass start-up ideas.

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Why so you can take all the profits of my labour? So you dont have to come up with your own ideas? Fuck off and go buy a shitty car or piss your money away on an African village for the social justice points.

Get this, get this.
I was just talking to my bro about this the other night.
what if
you could
have an app
that tells you
where all
the hot girls are
at night?

A 24-hour realtime subscription service using node.js, mongoDB, blockchain and neural networks that sends SMS alerts to your phone when Jow Forums is shitty.

Facebook for cucks

Jow Forumscommunism is somewhere else. I'm a venture capitalist. If I like your idea I give you money in exchange for equity to go do it. If you don't like how the system works, should've matched donations to Bernie harder

Israel must be destroyed!

bullets that cause girls to orgasm

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A cryptocurrency that can only be used to purchase pictures of spiderman

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>not buying into yet another predatory lending scheme is "communism"
>implying you aren't just trying to mine for information so you can sucker people into giving up equity at a low valuation

idk how much of my project i'm allowed to discuss, and i don't seriously think op is here offering money, but just wanted to put this out there for some of the younger anons out there so they can hear what it's like working on a real product. i am doing it for the money and i also realize that to offer a product that people want you have to be competitive. that is why my product is coming it at a very competitive price point, yet offers a combination of pro-level features and consumer-grade ease of use. i am lucky that i have moments where i get a lot of fun doing it but most of the work is difficult and not that glamorous. i think it's a disservice to a lot of people out there when people tell you to always pursue happiness and that you can have it all. you can't. in order to innovate you have to make sacrifices, sacrifice your friends, weekends etc. if you're not prepared to do that then just rely on one enormous stroke of luck after another hitting you because that's what you're gonna need. otherwise you can work for yourself maybe even in partnership with someone who's skilled in the business and potentially get paid more than just a regular salary, but at the risk of losing it all if you are stupid or if a stroke of bad luck hits you.

how about a decentralized socially-conscience mobile application framework that synergizes public attitudes with online reviews through innovative block-chain style data-mining in order to provide targeted advertisements for life-changing digital services to millions of people worldwide?

that's just facebook

i forgot to mention the environmentally friendly digital cloud clusters running an advanced artificial intelligence.

it's going to be facebook and google combined with a user-friendly twitter-style interface and a user-review system like reddit. just wait and see, white devil.

Just write a local console app for the same effect: while(true) {console.writeline("Jow Forums is currently shitty")}

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Soo predatory that I'm willing to risk money on good ideas and good people. Just admit you want free stuff without working or the world being mean to you

A supermeat boy type tight platformer, but there is a funny joke at the end of every level. So player gets a massive hit of dopamine after beating a hard level. Portal 2 used this model. Currently doing it solo in Unreal engine 4 but a small team of artists will take it to the next level.

Chicken nugget bucket

daily pictures of cute traps :3

do them work with (girls)?

dating app with real time location tracking. you can look on a map and see where all the bitches with it installed are.
color/shape of location indicator tells you how hot and how likely to fuck you specifically based on ratings from men and ML analysis of pictures and physical preferences.
tap on dot to see picture and swipe.

>"Just admit you want free stuff without working or the world being mean to you"
>t. a guy who wants to profit from doing nothing besides writing a check and hoping other investors never find out his portfolio is shit and stop trading with him

ignoring that this is a larp thread, you aren't gonna make it

bing, but with an l between the i and the b
I would call it 'bling'

Something like a pre-existing service, just without ads.
Run a crypto miner in the background that the user gets told about upon starting the app, and upon each startup of the service/app
Something using probably 1-2 threads at ~50%
Most devices nowadays have well over 2 threads, even the newest Applel iPhone Eggs R has 6 cores, most Android-based phones have 4+, and even laptops have over 2 for most average models (Most low ends have 2 cores with HT), etc.
So long as the user is well aware that they're running a crypto miner that isn't just going to rape the battery/processor, it should be fine, and probably unnoticeable, quite frankly. With the amount of other background tasks people are running (Spotify, Facebook, Netflix, Amazon, and whatever the fuck else) that they're completely unaware of, it should be fine to have it running while the app is loaded, and maybe if it can detect it's currently a background task, either turn it off, or just turn it down to ~20% or so at the same 2 threads.
A service that people actually use.
Also, I'm retarded and said "app" alone while typing this up, but can be a computer program, whether it's Linux, Mag, or Windon't.

a web browser for Canadians, by Canadians.

bro you could scale back the mining if the cursor moves or they try to interact with the computer.

oh ye I went and reread your post and you mention that.
oops.

An app that emulates an OP that isnt a fag

24/7 sensory deprivation tank center that also sells weed

A gayming-oriented web browser desu
Discord, Steam, and whatever the fug else gayming stuff integration built-in.
Optimization for minimal resource usage, while maintaining a gayming browser so as to free up resources while on that epic gayming session.

actually a good one:

mimix.io

That's not gonna happen, and you know it.

Muggers and organ harvesters would have a field day with this app
>make a burner hot chick profile
>tailor it to match with as many dumb guys as possible
>hang around some back place with your "fellow hot girls" and wait for the suckers to show up
They could even employ prostitutes to front so it seems more legit.

>show you where hot girls are at night
>at night
So it's an app for rapists?

Blockchain crypto currency backed by meth

/thread

It'd make a lot of money.

If it lets you save game resources for 3d games on your end it could really speed up loading times and help grow that emerging market

Kek

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a dating app for asexuals

B U Z Z W O R D S

Are you tired of shitting in holes? I've got a patent on a new kind of chair designed to be pooped in.

The only good post in the thread, and it is severely underrated.

D E E P
L E A R N I N G

Alright, here's a great one.
>hire me
>give me $300k starting
>I write all your shit
Truly, we will make millions!

I've got an idea about a hilarious app that has a button in it, which when pressed makes a fart noise. By don't steal the idea pls

The world's first closed source Linux distribution. We need 200 million dollars to pay for lawyers to troll the GNU legal teams. After bankrupting the defense fund and proving to the world that the GNU license offers no protection against closed source for profit forks, programmers will leave en mass. Our app will liberate the world from the time wasting operating system known as Linux.

If you sign an NDA and buy me lunch

keep it up ideas man jej

Go fuck yourself yid.

welcome to 2010. solid state disk solved this issue.

Give me all your money and I vegetate in my flat.

Do you have an example of when you had to sacrifice something to keep your career going? I'd actually like to hear it.

cool idea

A nuclear warhead to destroy Israel.
A bioweapon to kill off population in Asia and Africa

What if you had tinder but anonymous and political so you could shitpost at local commies in your area

So Twitter.

Something like ebay but you can only trade goods for goods/services instead of money.

Toilet that microwaves shit and turns it into energy. It works by using plasma from the shit to make energy. It destroys the shit no smell just more energy to zap more shit. It would stop people from using valuable water when they piss and shit and solve sanitation problems where water and sanitation is limited.

>not falling for usury is communism
The absolute state of kikes

>just admit you want free stuff without working
>trying to make a living off of usury and my labour
Wow really makes me think, Jeramiah.

Not him but I was a fucking useless sack of shit for years. I'm almost thirty. College dropout.
For the first time in my life I'm making almost 20$ an hour just doing computer repair (my service is very effective and fast and sell good products, I earned my raises) and now I have job mobility to go wherever I want, and I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking into a new specialty within the next year.
To get here I moved far North to isolated energy based towns, worked security on campsites and pipelines and spent as much time as possible at work studying my ASS off. I virtually dont play any video games anymore, I stopped going out most of the time, I went celibate for about a year and a half before dating again exclusively and explicitly for long term commitments, to avoid distraction, I quit smoking and doing drugs, and I invested significant amounts of time into developing shitty iOS apps JUST for showing off in interviews. I worked every bit of OT I could to pay off debts and get a workstation quality Laptop, and started collecting gadgets and tools needed to one day open my own repair business or some shit. I dont really know if that's what I'll do, I may specialize in data recovery and forensics or something instead, or do that all on the side. Idk yet we'll see, I dont set anything in stone, I study the environment around me for opportunities and demand for service I can offer.
I'm also lucky that before I started tho, I was in security and actually got a supervisory position at an extremely high profile site, that looks very impressive on a resume when you add up all of my responsibilities and duties from there, and gave me excellent experience working closely with people of a certain caliber (lawyers, CEOs, lawyer CEOs, high tier engineers and security systems specialists, multimillion dollar property managers, etc etc).
I definitely changed my entire life and lifestyle very consciously.

>look at all this shit I sacrificed for a low-paying job doing monkey work
wow dude

>Combination of shitty things from shitty websites
wow user, you really innovative

It's only 1.5 year of progress, and before it I knew jack shit, and couldn't break 15$ barrier. Now I'm in another tax bracket.
I'm only going to be doubling down and rolling out bigger advancements in the next two years. If you're not willing to make sacrifice after sacrifice and keep on going consistently and persistently, you're not going to advance anywhere in life. I have the determination, ability, and the position and opportunity now, for financial mobility and class advancement. Starting from almost nothing, in less than 2 years.
What have you done with your life?

why are you blogging in a larp thread?

Soooooo, nothing. Got it.

People shouldn't have to make sacrifices to get a job that's just above minimum wage

>you shouldnt have to do anything to stand out from the crowd to be rewarded above average
Lmfao communists, every time.
Also, I make almost double minimum wage where I live?

>I quit doing drugs and isolated myself and make $20/hr
tell me more about that pitiful life friend
you are so sad it could fill a novel

you aren't above average though, you're below average

Only compared to people who work energy industry jobs with no upwards mobility and frozen wage the rest of their lives. In another year at least I will be making even more money in a specialist field.
It's no different than people committing to their own business or project that doesn't pay off until it's done.
And I will own a home within the next 2 years at least, easy.

This is the equivalent of committing to college education, but I'll be coming out of it without any debt whatsoever.

>"own a home"
yeah congrats on your mortgage dude we're real jealous
you take yourself way too seriously
20 bucks an hour is not a good job

A bed made purely of aircraft-grade anodized aluminium in space grey.

yo fag this thread is about shitty life choices and our jobs now keep up