i've been thinking of killing myself recently. how would you recommend i actually do it. i think i could possibly hang myself from a noose in my loft into the upper floor hall of my house but i don't want my family to find me dead, also unsure if loft could support my weight (280lbs). where/how could i kill myself away from my family or at best why should i not kill myself. i'm drunk right now and will probably read any replies when i'm sober when i don't want to kill myself (as much) tomorrow. i'm fat as fuck but want to lose weight. socially awkward, unemployed at the moment but wanted to end it more when i was employed at shit job, want to change how i feel emotionally but honestly can not see that as a possibility. the weight loss could be possible but unlikely (i've tried quite a few times over the last half a dozen or so years, make progress now and then but then revert to old habits). i have only ever mentioned to one friend that i have had suicidal thoughts when drunk a long time ago, asked him not to make a big deal of this but had a lot more thoughts about this since then. think about this quite often, either daily or every other day. i know that there are a lot of jokes on this website about this but it is also anonymous so would like actual answers. some joke answers would be okay to laugh at when sober and to regret what i've said but ultimately would like some real things to ponder on. i understand that what i've posted may not be structured as a normal Jow Forums post would be but i'm too drunk to care.
Suicide
yeah dude you may suck now but you never know who ur gonna be in like 5 years. don't do it. study and get money.
car in the garage
music on the radio and comfy sleepy asphyxiation
kill a bunch of niggers with a crossbow
also
I gotta keep it real withu chief. Just find some tall building and get on to the roof and jump off. The look on the building owner and local authorities faces will be epic
preorder an rtx 2080 ti
the buyer's remorse will be so bad that the answer will come naturally to you
don't do it bro. one step at a time, just focus on one thing such as losing weight and you'll feel better
buy a gun and storm the google headquarters slaughtering every pajeet you can see. Bring multiple guns and explosives, go out Rambo style and then you can shoot yourself in the head if you want.
Self immolation in front of Google HQ after proclaiming for an independent Taiwan, Tibet, and Quebec.
Never got wanting to kill yourself
If you dont like your life why don't you at least just runaway and spend all your money on hookers and shit and then go travel and whatnot like just to enjoy your life one last time. Like live your day like its your last because if you want to kill yourself it might be. If I wanted to kill myself I would have some kind of bucket list before I pulled the trigger
Not everyone wants to be a degenerate bum
Come back here tomorrow.
We'll talk.
It'll be good.
Fuck man just stop eating. Do two meals a day and only take half of what you normally would. No more soda. No more four tablespoons sugar in your coffee. After losing 40lbs like this, start walking a mile a day until you hit your target weight. Guaranteed results. Just keep it up literally forever, this is what skeletons do. NO CHEATING EVER.
Also an out bag is the best option. Second best is a heavy zip tie around your neck.
OP how old are you?
Clean your room instead
Dont do it yadda yadda
I feel your pain though. Leave a detailed note. Ramble if you want to just try to give people a reason why you did it. Something for closure.
I've thought about it a lot in the past year and therapy helped until my job stopped letting me go (American health care, everyone). Since then it's just a comforting thought until I think about my wife and daughter, so I dont do it.
If i did do it - .45 to my heart. I dont want to fuck my face up for my family and friends to find.
Good luck user. Go seek therapy. Maybe we both can get the help we need.
Not OP but that's a lot easier said than done. How many guys do you know that live life like that, as if every single day is their last day? How often do you see guys take risks, and I don't want driving 90 mph in rush hour traffic, like actual risks? Like approaching that really hot girl waiting for the bus, or moving across the country with only the clothes on your back? The point I'm making is that it's not that easy for a normal healthy male to do that, let alone someone who's legitimately suicidal
All I can say is think of all the stories of the people who realized immediately before a botched attempt that they didn't actually want to kill themselves.
Have you considered any kind of therapy? Group therapy included.
Have you tried leaving the house more often, taking walks? Someone else mentioned eating less, I would second that. Not even trying to diet, just eating less with every meal than you normally do. Lifting might help too, but starting too many things at once is a recipe for failure imo.
I know you're a poorfag and I'm guessing a fellow Amerimutt, so psychiatric care is probably a financial no-go, but in case you have something, see about getting put on an antidepressant. Being suicidal sucks ass.
Oh yeah, stop drinking entirely. It makes it worse.
what does this have anything to do with Jow Forums?
also stop browsing/posting on 4chin if you want to better yourself.
All of the above are unfunny and idiotic.
Best thing you can do is the following, and there's no excuses you can come up with:
-Buy a bench and a few dumbbells, youwill be working out everyday
-Everyday in the morning, you make a bowl of oats and a few fruits mixed with it, eat it while browsing Jow Forums for lulz
- Lift the dumbbells, 3 sets of 10 for every exercice, set a number of pushups to perform everyday
-Shower
-Do whatever the rest of the day except indulging in shit food filled with sugar
- Sleep early to wake up early
Do this and I promise you will feel better, lose weight, and depression/shit thoughts will be reduced, it will give you a very good base to move on in your life.
Do it, atheism/nihilism is a lie that plagues western society, the above routine will give your body what it craves and your mind will be less scattered.
You'll thank yourself in a few weeks.
The actual objective best way to kill yourself is gunshot to the head.
> Jow Forums - Technology
>American health care, everyone
my condolences
Years ago i was in a spot. I called suicide hotline. They referred me to a free therapist who was excellent. I saw him for a couple years. He offered meds but i declined. It was good. Im glad i called. Look up suicide hotline. They will help you if you want help. If you want to suicide, overdose on heroin. Its cheap and painless. I know bc i killed myself with a heroin overdose. My gf called ambulance and paramedics brought me back with narcan. I was mad.
Suicide hotline bro
lol no, that's messy as fuck and a burden for anyone alive that have to deal with the mess.
You should definitely work on formatting your texts because now I also want to kill myself after reading that thing
Well I mean you dont have to become nomadic or approach girls or something. My point is that you should at least treat yourself to something if youre gonna go. Its not like you have to worry about not having the money to pay the bills, it would be a waste to just leave it behind. Before you die cant you at least book a plane ticket and explore the world a littlw before you go?
Not OP but.
>suicide hotline
Meme for NPCs to get pity points from strangers.
Fuck off you literal boomers.
>JUST BEE URSELF
>ITLL ALL GET BETTER YOU JUST GOTTA BE O P T I M I S T I C
You and your holier than thou attitudes are the cancer killing the chans.
Helium exit bag is the solution my friend. Life will only get suittier and so will (((society))). Looking for a way out too.
Fuck meant to write life will only get shittier.
Fuck you nigger I gave advice that helped me when I was suicidal. You dumb fucks think you have to be completely jaded if you go here for a few years because you actually believe every fucking meme you run across.
don't listen to Jow Forumsfaggots, seriously.
like robin williams
hang in a woods but are you sure you wanna do dis?
Why post this on Jow Forums?
they prescribe meth and adderall for terminally fat people like you op
i'm on adderall for ADHD
when you take chad's drug you'll stop drinking, stop being fat and be happy with yourself
>holier than thou attitudes
I'm sorry but these are people giving their legitimate advice, assuming that they think are better than you isn't right fren.
>that's messy as fuck and a burden for anyone alive that have to deal with the mess
To a dead man, this is not an issue. Nice numbers.
Obvious attentionwhoring and fishing for pity points. If he was really going to do it it takes 5 seconds of research to see that helium bag is best option.
They are making these posts because they want to feel better about themselves.
>oo i helped someone thats suicidal today
brownie points.
I ain't jaded and if that advice helped you then you aren't one to comprehend the full gravity of the situation here.
You think it's impossible for the combination of physical activity, not drinking alcohol, going out of the house, associating with friends, therapy and antidepressants to not help with severe depression?
obviously but there's no need to burden other people further.
H2S suicide aka detergent suicide
trust me user, people that get this fat tend to qualify for mental illnesses
his brain is probably so FUBAR that he'll need stimulants to lose weight
Of course it can, I never denied that you can't be happy with self improvememt. My point is that it's not worthwhile or particularly interesting
>tldr: happiness is useless
It makes you soft and weakens character.
Fuck you I literally suggested an exit bag, but also for him to just get over himself and stop being so damn fat.
Go see a therapist and take antidepressants user. It sounds like bullshit, but it will help.
Yeah, I didn't critisize you for offering the exit bag, I criticized you for trying to help someone that doesn't want to help themself. Which to me says you're just posting bee urself tier advice to feel better about yourself.
God damn it I'm tired, meant to write criticize.
not being happy most of the time isn't the same as not being suicidally depressed
fap 200 times in a day and die of dehydration
if you do have a soul you'll probably regert it so dont do it
I didn't tell him to bee himself, I told him to stop fucking eating. It's not me trying to help him. It's me being physically unable to not call a fat fuck out on being a fat fuck.
Eh, complete disappointment and disillusionment can be equated to suicidal depression-inducing emotions. And look at me perfectly fine and not attentionwhoring about suicide, and when I do it I won't ask for fucking pity points online. Anyways getting late as fuck here I'm off for the night.
Cheers!
Why tell someone that's effectively killing himself through food to stop?
Less people = more oxygen.
Anyways as I've said in another post off for the night. Good talk.
This unironically, listen OP
Sell everything you have, preorder things and try to get a loan (just try cuz these days no one will give you one)
Dont say anything to your family, they will try to stop you ALWAYS, just keep being the fatfuck you always were around them and dont hesitate when leaving or cutting ties with friends, trash that phone and leave only with your pc and cash, social obligations is what got you where you are right now so fuck it
Move to SA or SEA where life is insanely cheap and doing illegal things is easy but pick according to your needs
E.g. if I wanted pretty women I would pick brazil, if I wanted good food Peru is a good option
do your best to beg everything or pick the cheapest option, on a month or less you should be out of money so now its truly game over unless you managed to get a job somehow
Rent a car for day and drive it at full speed, you will most likely die somewhere in the road
Remember when you have nothing to lose you can only gain
I repeat to make myself clear DONT HESITATE, the moment you doubt, the moment your suicide plan is less likely to succeed, no excuses, successful suicide rate is so low it makes me angry
Many believe theres only black after so make sure to have fun at least once, prove those bastards that want you to slave your life away that you can be free and happy
Offing yourself will just get you laughed at and mocked after you die. Go to Cupertino and take as many of them down with you as possible and die an American hero. :^)
Ask pikachu to thunderbolt you
Agoraphobia
100% wrong
I am literally a different person from what I was 3 years ago. Both personality and looks-wise.
OP don't listen to these faggots, just start making healthy changes in your life, start exercising, eating healthy, learning new things every day, perhaps pick up a hobby like a musical instrument. It does get better it just takes time.
aren't there people who sell/rent helium or nitrogen canisters for exit bags? Try getting that, it shouldn't be that expensive and from what I know it should be clean, painless and quick
>i-it gets better!
I bet you've fallen for too many memes already, no need to fall for this one too
...
I used to be suicidal and am pretty happy now which I accomplished by unironically being myself.
Normals may be on to something.
>im depressed because im depressed
it's a self-feeding loop, the snake is eating its own tail
>insists society is going to shit
>still believes you shouldn't try to help a stranger because "you're only doing it to feel better about yourself"
Exercise - this is proven to help. Start easy, take regular walks. You can just do that for a few minutes? Then do that for a few minutes.
Eat less - this is proven to help directly and indirectly (feeling better about improving oneself).
Try not to think about crap that have happened or you expect to happen. Hard to do so having some other thing to concentrate on helps.
Anti-depressants may help. If you are seriously depressed ECT may help, it's very efficient in many cases.
Try to find someone to talk to, therapist or otherwise.
An exit bag is probably the best way to end it however that would still be a stupid choice, especially as doing it wrong including buying gas with large amounts of undeclared oxygen mixed in (common) increases the chances of surviving with serious brain damages.
Also think about how shit would affect people close to you and otherwise. Reading about a suicide often triggers suicide, would you like some depressed parent killing themselves and leaving their children alone? If you blow your brains out or jump of a bridge would you like the psychological impact on the people that have to clean up after you?
>They are making these posts because they want to feel better about themselves.
Or perhaps because some of us have been there or worse (survived suicide attempt) and know there are alternatives? No, can't be.
Fuck off.
>reddit spacing
TLDR
use exit bag
Has Ash actually been dead since Pikachu first electrocuted him in the first episode and is the whole show about his life as a ghost?