Google Jobs

im thinking about getting an internship at Google. I hate their company and everything it stands for but the work environment is patrician (pic related) and it will look really good in my CV.
the problem is im only very good at Python and HTML (not expert level) and I have an entry level knowledge of JavaScript and php BUT im black.
Is Google's affirmative action going to save me or should I do something easier and not waste my time?

Attached: coolestofficespace-google3.jpg (700x378, 82K)

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go for it muh nigga

>environment is patrician (pic related)
You want to be treated as a toddler?

Yeah if you're black apply and you will get it

>slide down slide
>yip yee hee wah hoo
>accumulate massive static charge
>open laptop
>it's kill
oh no

>Python
>HTML
>Uses JavaScript, yet knows very little about it
You will fit right in. If you get in keep us posted OP. Good luck.

You don't?

S 0 Y boi slide

>BUT im black
You've got the job.

Yes, if it means they will provide me with mommy milkies

Attached: 439.jpg (778x512, 46K)

Just imagine a fucking fully grown man using this slide.

Imagine not using the slide because you worry about people like you imagining it.

Are you black, Latino or gay? You should easily get the gig if you fulfill any of those requirements ;^)

What the fuck do you think this is ? Do you know how hard it is to score an internship at Google ? Do you think your knowledge, working only high level language, will be enough ?
Google doesn't fuck around, their admission rate is 0.2% per year. Basically, you'll need to pass multiple interviews, mostly about technical skills. Depending of where you are it will be done in multiple dates or they'll ask you to come in for a full day, with other applicants to solve algorithmic problems in a short amount of time.
Anyway, if you really think you can even pass the resume / motivation letter part of selection, go ahead.

Or go valve lmao

>BUT im black
You forgot to read this part from his post

>Anyway, if you really think you can even pass the resume / motivation letter part of selection, go ahead.
You forgot this part of my post.

Google is in dire need of bulls to sire the white and international wimmin hires. You'll do fine Trayvon just considered it a privilege to get paid six-figs to get prepped every day.

If I ever see you on the street, I'd slap you and spit in your face.

Shame on you for even considering selling your labor to evil.

lol google: threadreaderapp.com/thread/1049523067506966529.html

but it'll give me extra protection for when skynet comes

Good god, is that slide functional? I've seen images of google "offices" before where they had all sorts of colorful blocks and really cutesy stuff similar to daycare, but the slide just goes overboard.

>BUT I'm black

I'd also fake being bisexual if I were you, just to be on the safe side.

This, if the interviewer is male just jiggle his balls a little on your way out so he gets the message.

basedboy cuckpost detected

>Ayo
>*Grabs dick*
>Yo racists mo fucker
>*Sucks air through teeth*
>Sheeeeit
>*Drops mix tape*
>Gibson me dat job nigga
>*Smacks lips*
You'll get the internship instantly.

I used to intern at Google, and yes, the slides are functional.

this. Google is cream of the crop. Being black will definitely help but you'll need to also be pretty good at programming to

>emojis and obnoxious writing

social media was a mistake, it's Dark Ages 2.0

Wtf? That slide is not wheelchair compatible nor large people friendly.

Healthism and ableism are very serious problems and a slide like that only serves as a constant reminder of society's oppression to these disadvantaged peoples/otherkin.

It's 2018, folks, this just isn't acceptable anymore. Be better.

Gotta take advantage of dat affirmative action oppression points

I'd become a tranny too to maximize your chances

>latino
I got an onsite in a couple weeks. Trust me and give it a shot. Also you can get a guaranteed interview if you show up to some of their diversity events.

Don't even bother applying to Google straight out of college. You are 1 out of literally a million applicants. But its actually really easy to get into google if you have 3-5 years experience. I worked for a shitty no name company that literally made employee time clocks and 3 years later, after I got laid off and looked for another job I got offers from Google and Microsoft. A week after I applied a recruiter called and they just sent me links to websites and books on how to do their interviews. They tell you exactly what to memorize, its hilarious the autists that fail their interviews. I read "cracking the coding interview" and 3/5 whiteboard questions during the interview were straight from the book. Same with the other tech companies. Thing is I actually made more money taking a senior level position at another no name company, than Google paid, so stop fantasizing about Google, or really any company. Plus at a popular place like Google you are an entry level grunt, a dime a dozen, and its almost impossible to advance because there is so much competition.

I'd sort of like to see Vint Cerf go down it.

Do it and leak shit anonymously to breitbart, apparently people on the inside of goolag like leaking shit to them for some reason.

Attached: 1539491348310.jpg (700x784, 73K)

Getting a job at these type of companies is all about social skills and less about tangible skills.

Does it really matter if you can't advance if you can make like 150-200k starting? Meet minimum satisfaction requirements and you could probably get by without working yourself that hard

Simply being black is no longer enough. If you really want to get ahead you need a sad backstory. Tell them that your mother was a crack whore and you never knew your father, you were born with HIV, and casually mention that you witnessed your older brother being dragged behind a police vehicle when you were 5 years old. youtube.com/watch?v=JEzE3L-NKL4

Attached: fart proudly.jpg (900x1200, 144K)

I believe you mean the cuck slide
>oh no, Tyquan is here
>best get away before I witness my wife getting ravaged
>to the cuck slide!

>projecting

Hah, that guy is retarded