What do you honestly do at work Jow Forums?

What do you honestly do at work Jow Forums?

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Phonepost while taking a fat dump. Then I go spin around in a rolling chair while I eat pretzels and m&ms

Who here is a fellow /office jacker/?

Search for jobs on my phone

NICE TRY, FAGGOT

I do my work

I am also white

doing this rn. Gonna finishes up after this post and go back to my java work

I play rouge-likes, preferably ASCII ones as they look like terminals to the untrained eye. C:DDA is a fav of mine. Also trying to play some zangband.

Also I shitpost on here.

>tfw you get paid money most people would kill for to be a human reset button.

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> web dev
I mostly add new features; first divide the work in small modules and google how to do it. Then I put it together

some days I spend the whole afternoon googling shit, cuz I’m lazy as fuck

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>java engineer
Sit in a small conference room with like 5 other Indians and convert Python NLP projects to production ready code.

Paramedic. I just got an interest in tech, and would like nice things but unfortunately I have to prioritise my money on other shit. Being an act with a job and responsibilities is overrated. I would be a neet, but I'm all too aware my job is probably the only thing stopping me from being a depressive mess. I see some value in my work and it gives me some structure and routine.

reboot

I make sure that a cluster roughly 8EB in size keeps on servicing backup and restore requests.

Most of my day is spent chasing down anomalies in the system and making fixes that cause more anomalies down the line.

Pray for death.

Poo in the loo

I work in an open office so I just have to stair at the wall.

I'm an attorney. I read most of the day trying to sort out possible issues on a case for when it gets to court/administrative procedures. Although it gets really busy at times there are months where there is quite a bit of downtime as you wait for responses from the government. During that downtime I either shitpost or try to educate myself about other subjects. I also hunt for hardware. Got a couple of supermicro 1150 boards dirt cheap after the whole Chinese spying fiasco. Gonna use one to work on a Nas this weekend.

I'm reading Jow Forums in emacs at work

>work in IT
>company pays for shit ($40,000)
>freelance web developer during work hours on my thinkpad
>browse Jow Forums and watch netflix all the other time

I'm seriously only needed like 3 hours but required to be here for 9. made the mistake once of putting in for a promotion, dude who got it told me his work load increased ten folds and he only got a $5000 raise. I make $10,000 in my freelance work alone

>IT crowd XD!!!!

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I'm an open source software developer. So I sit at the closest grocery store with wifi and I hang out in their lobby. I'll occasionally type some code on my Thinkpad x220 running Arch GNU/Linux + SystemD. Most of the time I'm editing my config to polybar, but the people around me don't know. For about 5 out of the 10 hours I'm at this grocery store, I'm definitely editing config files on my Arch GNU/Linux + SystemD Thinkpad x220t. Its a 't' now. The other 5 hours I'm writing patches for the glorious open source text editor, mousepad(sorry if you don't know what this is, winfags, its a GNU/Linux only text editor that is way better than notepad). I write exclusively in C. Nothing else comes close to the power of the C programming language. I do this 5 days a week while occasionally taking the carts people use to transport their groceries back inside. I've been a GNU/Linux masterrace member since the days of the 90's.

answer the fucking phone

kill me

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Get paid to ignore the meetings and docs I'm supposed to be focused on, and instead build fun tools no one asked for.

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>told it's somehow a great show
>it's just big bang theory UK
never listened to online faggots and their recommendations since

>autism: the job

What I do now is not Jow Forums related but I was a "software developer" for a company that makes mobile apps for eCommerce. This was around 2013 when I was 19. It was a ton of young college graduates 22-25 year olds and the managers weren't any older than 35. I told them I've been programming since I was 15 and claimed some GitHub to be mine that wasn't. During the testing phase I was nervous he would make me code but I just wrote in pseudo and he accepted it. Programming itself was not new to me. I studied robotics all through highschool and understand algorithms and computer logic and scripting.

Pretty much my first year was doing lots of caffeine and trying to comprehend what was going on in conference meetings. I just avoided eye contact and nodded my head at everything until there was something English written on the whiteboard that I could understand. Once I got understood the general direction the algorithm is going in and got assigned what I was to work on, I just Googled the hell out of Java and converted plain pseudo code into code.

It got to such a stressful point that I had no fucking clue to do and just admitted to my Project Manager that I have no idea what I'm doing. He just said I know and kept walking. I managed to stay there about a year and a half before quitting to work for my family.

I've got two jobs while I look for a sysadmin job:
>pizza delivery driver
Self explanatory, easy, relaxing, listen to audiobooks and podcasts while driving. Shitpost irl with other drivers
>hotel night auditor
Decent wage for 2 hours of work for an 8 hour shift where I see almost nobody. Audit the hotel and restaurant's revenue and make sure it is what it should be by comparing all guest debits to hotel credits. Great for reading so I study for certs after I've finished my paperwork.

You're also insecure.

>cinema projection
I operate
-projection servers
-projectors
-sound system (amps, sound processor, mixers, mics etc)
-the theater management server and system
-various non-projection related systems like ventilation, AC etc.
In addition to everyday computing tasks (administration, communication, download trailers, ranging at idiots we have to work with).

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>data scientist
Book meetings with business units, listen to their suggestions on how to build new tools for their business, come up with proposals and design plans for new tools, build new tools then put into production and wait for feedback. But, spend most of my time doing reporting or dashboards.

The job sucks and is in reality more of a glorified BI job than anything like Kaggle.

Most data warehouses are full of useless ERP data and most third party data is aggregated to the point that there is barely anything to do other than dashboard it. But most people in management believe that supposedly their shit data holds the secret to million dollar investments though, so you need to deal with their crap.

For every Google or Facebook which has huge amounts of original, first party data and data scientists who work there have an awesome job building new models or tools. There are hundreds who are rebranding BI positions they can't fill to data analyst/scientist roles.

I'd recommend that people become webdevs rather than do this shit.

I write software that makes people's lives easier and their projects possible. I'm always getting "oh, user, this [easily automated task] takes hours to do every week", and I make it happen automatically instead. They can then do something that isn't mind numbingly boring instead of copying and pasting crap or whatever they were doing. I also get a lot of "shit, we're doing this big expensive project and the vendor we hired is incompetent (as usual, why do we spend money on these retards), we have two weeks to make their absolutely trash system do what we promised and it isn't even close. I make it happen every time, and it doesn't even take much real effort. Just a couple thousand lines of code and some documentation. People look at me like I'm a fucking god. I've had project owners literally cry while thanking me. And I'm just "t-thanks, it wasn't really a big deal...". Of course the reason it was so easy is because I'm really good at designing maintainable architecture, and I've been practicing for years, but it feels like no effort. No real accomplishment.

Unfulfilled, I inevitably go researching shit for fun in the 2-4hrs every day I have not much to do. I read about the work of the true greats and suddenly I feel like an absolute brainlet with no skill. This fucking profession.

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Sysad for a 3 letter organization

Cyka blyat, Snowden

Check daily offenses. Report people watching porn. Incident response if something fishy. Make security suggestions. Go home.

imagine if your entire job was being a workplace snitch. I would unironically kill myself

>we're doing this big expensive project and the vendor we hired is incompetent... we have two weeks to make their absolutely trash system do what we promised and it isn't even close.

Could you give an example?

That's strange... I don't remember having a job.

>Hired a company to take calls for us after hours so we don't need customer service people on call 24/7 or sitting around during expected call times at 3am
>Vendor promises the world, oh yeah they'll integrate with our existing system and everything. You can have everything!
>It turns out you can't have everything. They can integrate 40% of what's required. We're now faced with canning the project or staffing an additional person 24/7 to handle manual steps to make it work. That isn't happening. No other vendor could match some other hard requirements so it seems like game over.
>I'm told all of this in an offhand way during an unrelated meeting
>"So what would those manual steps be?"
>Turns out this vendor is basically a huge labor farm, and most of their workflow is emails.
>What they want to do is have us send them emails on a regular basis with status updates on information that might be relevant to callers, and they'll send back emails with "here's who called and here's what they said"
>I go "are you fucking kidding me" out loud
>Write a service that watches the db for relevant changes every few minutes, packs the changes up into a friendly email, and sends them.
>People on their end constantly reply "thank you" despite me telling them the mail is automated.
>Write a service that watches for their messages and turns the poorly formatted email into a work order in our customers management system
>Get carried away and accidentally write a pretty damn neat Exchange client library that handles arbitrary rule execution on mail. Fun.
>Launch the service. It's 100% reliable. This is important because the calls can seriously be life threatening emergencies.
>Project saved. Customer service manager literally gets on the floor and prostrates herself before me. I'm unimpressed with my own work but she's really happy she doesn't have to get called in late at night anymore.
It's a nice job in the scheme of things. I really can't complain that much.

So then what if it IS a life threatening emergency? You'll work on it the next morning after you check the work orders from overnight?

I watch youtube videos and work on my personal projects
I've automated most of the work I do with powershell/bash scripts
IT work is the mind killer

based
redpilled

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Pajeets call me and asks for RFO and are pants on head retarded when it comes to understanding.

>+ SystemD
Into the trash

> Monday
Spend half of the day finishing my work for the week
> Tuesday-Friday
Play sudoku with a puzzle generator I made at work because I have jack shit to do all day. Sometimes I have to answer questions about a project or two when a production release is nearing

>ISP / Datacenter network engineer
Mainly designing new / special circuit and network concepts and handholding our ops guys while they're transitioning into daily operation

I used to lead a of migration projects and scheduled maintenance windows at the worst possible times just for fun (e.g. during the football match where Germany lost against Worst Korea and dropped out of the world cup (we're German)) but our skeletons in the closed have thinned out a lot

I also implement our tooling, more and more automation (python!) and I'm basically involved in any infrastructure project more complex than our ops guys are trained to that doesn't require customer contact (I'm too autistic for that)

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Dumb fucks should be working instead of looking at tranny porn.

chef at wendy's
320k a year

There is a small 24/7 team who handles radio and our mapping system. Their job is to ensure work is safe and efficient for field crews so we're absolutely not going to distract them with having to manage an inbox and send updates themselves on every little thing. They see the service order pop into their job queue, all the needed information is already filled in from the database. All they need to do is radio an available truck with the assignment and drag the task onto a district to set it as assigned.

Here's what I did today
>Nip guy calls me: help my mail no working
>okay let me remote in and see
>you're on office 2010, we need to put you on 2016, should only take 15 minutes to install
>error - could not install message etc.
>That's weird maybe it's because you've got pending windows updates
>error - update install failure NO DISK SPACE
>Check C drive
>sure enough he has 200mb left
>clear out some old junk but only frees a gigabyte
>run treesize viewer to see what's hogging the space
>appdata
>Outlook
>Twenty. Seven. Gigabyte .OST cached
>delete ost and install Outlook 2016 365 edition etc.
>set cache mode to 3 months instead of a year
Now I'm waiting until the end of the day to drop off a keyboard.

work?

You only really need food money, and not freeze to death outside money(rent)
Everything else is just for enjoyment

I'll take a comfy job over a well paying one any day

Oh man, I feel your pain. I blame this shitty state of affairs on the total absolute shilling of muh AI, muh data science and shit.

Hope you can eventually find a decent company. Or just go to a regular software engineering gig.

> I've automated most of the work I do with powershell/bash scripts

That's fucking great. I'm currently finding ways to automate some of the parts of my work as a software developer but I can't really find low hanging fruits at the moment... But I won't give up.

I am a NEET

I work at a hipster/liberal tech start up. I fucking hate it, but since its the only job I could get, I guess I can't really complain. I usually do my work, but when no one is looking I fb/ig stalk all the people I went to high school and college with. I want to see if they're also miserable like me. A lot of them aren't because they have solid careers and have a loved one in their life. I also steal other people's lunches, jerk off in the bathroom, smoke weed in my car and play tf2 on my own laptop.

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cringe and bluepilled emacs poster
I'm reading Jow Forums through unparsed curl responses

>work at research company doing city simulation stuff
>small company (capped at 100 employees)
>stuff we make is pretty shitty but apparently it makes the clients happy
>get treated pretty well, too, get to go to a few conferences a year as long as i publish something, some in exotic locations.

it's pretty comfy. the pay isn't very good but i like the work and the people. almost no one there is a programmer so it's easy to stay useful and people generally trust my recommendations because "i'm the expert"

working at mcdolan

fpbp

> I'm a faggot for a living

hm, maybe I should make a text version for my roguelike

I make data analysis scripts and shit-tier web crud applications for a relatively small conglomerate of factories and farms.

It is Mexico so i kinda rape my competition thanks to the harsh teachings of Jow Forums.
Right now i am implementing some automatic RFID logging for cattle.

40% browsing Jow Forums/internet
30% talking/hanging out/teaching qt coworker
15% helping other people
15% doing actual work

Dude, quite that FB stalking. It will only make you miserable trust me. Delete Facebook if necessary in order to control that.

ayy I'm a data engineer on a data science team. But we build actual products and sell them so I think it's a bit more fun.

How much you get paid for a job like that? You salaried? Need any special certs?

online faggots aren't always wrong though. Silicon Valley is the only good tech-related comedy show and I started watching it after someone on Jow Forums recommended it. Created by the same guy who made office space and king of the hill

>How much you get paid for a job like that? You salaried?
~500€/month in an eastern eu shithole. Slightly below the national average.
>Need any special certs?
No. It was obligatory in the cellulose film stock age, but no longer in the digital age. I got promoted to projection because I helped them a lot with computer issues.
Certs exist in the job database but nobody cares about them and there are no trainings or exams.

Internal desktop PC help desk for a medium sized utility agency.
Fortunately most of the users retain information decently and we don't let anyone have admin rights so they rarely fuck anything up.
The rest of the time I'm improving or streamlining stuff like desktop images or trying to make the most of my tiny work corner.

Fuck man, I'm a SRE and I got hit with BI bullshit. I made ONE shitty dashboard to monitor my shit and all of a sudden I'm the "go to guy" for dashboards.

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When I was in the Navy and not at sea I would mostly sleep all day, play video games, watch movies, or surf the internet on my phone. At sea it was pretty much entirely staring at a radar screen and trying my best to not fall asleep, or standing around shooting the shit with the rest of the watch, then sleeping. I always wished I was a day worker at sea because those guys got to drink beer every night, but since I was a shift worker it was always impossible, although I did a few times and managed to not get into shit.

based tf2 poster

wow

Did you get good in that year?

nigga what

wait do you mean actual chef? what is it like to be a chef at a giant fast food corp?

>fpbp

what does it mean

why not job hunt/develop skills instead of stalking?

Office job
>Usually 10-11 hours a day
>Engaged in something the whole time, eat food at desk while working so I don't have to spend even longer at work
>Don't hear from the boss unless he comes in to yell at us
Only saving grace is its on an hourly rate

Sit on my phone lurking via clover. Then answering support calls for the apac region. Pajeets are trash and the most dreaded by everyone on my team.

Mostly phoneposting

gotta be a bit subtler

manage satellite terminals

I too work for the ASS

Develop features, hunt bugs, rage at legacy code.

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I work for a law office as an runner. Just temporary before my dad's friend can get me into an it position with the city.

i'm a neet that runs a handful of websites, the next one i'm working on should be pretty profitable if i play my hands right

bugs. they're called bugs.

I'm a lead in a factory that builds construction equipment, specifically the section that builds wire harnesses and other electrical assemblies

Pays pretty good for shit that's not too physically demanding, 10 to 12 hour shifts of managing 7 people assigned to do work that 8 or 9 people should be doing which means I stay pretty busy.

Write some code to connect functionality of various libraries. Take long lunches and shitpost when I can.

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> What do you honestly do at work Jow Forums?
I flip 1's and 0's a bunch.

I make Wordpress sites for people and they pay an obscene amount of money for them. Maybe throw a little Laravel in there. [spoiler]Using Bootstrap, of course. Why do the extra effort?[/spoiler]

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good for you but what does that have to do with your appearance?

Alright, that was pretty funny

kill gangstalkers

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Ouch. I'm an analyst on a Data Science team & half of my projects are just Excel work where I'm interpreting another team's aggregated data because the collective team of 6 Project Managers & Program Coordinators can't understand basic algebra. The other 50% of my projects are just regression models - 95% of which will never come close to a production output or environment, but when you present it to the aforementioned people who can't do math they leave the meeting thinking that you're God, so that's neat.

I'm a homeless schizo and lurk here as an escape

mfw when i just quit a job where they had me answering the phones and now i never answer the phone at my new job

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terry? are you alive?

The projection system was completely automated at the Regal Cinemas I worked at a little over a year ago. The sound system was automated, the projection servers were automated, the projectors themselves were automated based on a schedule, and the AC of course was automated. It was like a video game, that shit was so easy to manage. Building trailer packs was a cinch, too. How the fuck is this an entire job for you? Your theatre must be HELLA outdated and inefficient.

I've got no motivation to work and never spend money but my life feels empty. I have no personal projects and my hobbies are slowly turning into a way to waste time instead of something I actually want to do.

Please help.

Try and fix anything connected to power pretty much

Work in aviation as a licensed aircraft maintenance engineer. Pretty much just take planes apart, inspect, look at manuals, order new parts, replace parts and put the plant back together. Oh and a shitton of paperwork.

>I write software that makes people's lives easier and their projects possible. I'm always getting "oh, user, this [easily automated task] takes hours to do every week", and I make it happen automatically instead. They can then...

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