Things you can say about your computer but not your girlfriend

i've sold it to some older man who ships them overseas in bulk

it exists

i love it

That she has a clit

something something bloat

actually does something useful

My computer has never stolen my emergency savings the day after getting laid off and bailing on me thereby making me briefly homeless.

I have it.
I have four of them.

I have one.

Came to say this

Without hurting you?

My computer is slim and has a great line, it is very silent, remembers everything perfectly, knows all my fetishes, I can watch porn and play videogames with it, but most of all it is always turned on.

I don't beat my computer

Swapped it out for a new model last year.

>ctrl+f I have one
>someone already posted it

I have two.

this

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>It remembers what I'm doing
>Good-looking
>Easy to turn on
>Performance is excellent
>The ports haven't been stuffed with shit by users before me
If you put the same effort into selecting a woman to mate with as you put to selecting components in your shitbox, you'd never have these problems.
The sound issue does get annoying sometimes.

Fucking piece of shit!

Your point is?

Wow, same, down to the number.

"I won't sodomise her."

It doesn't have every virus in existence in it.

Time to get a new one

Never have to close the lid

respects my freedoms

i have a computer

I'm sorry.

exists

I have one

It cost me less than $1000 to maintain before it broke and I threw it away.

Your form factor could be smaller with no drop in performance

>you'd never have these problems
Correct - because I'd still be a virgin. Once you've been through a few women user, you'll realise they're all pretty much garbage - we just ignore it because we want to get our dicks wet. But now that I'm in my late 30s, I can see through the hormone-induced haze.

I see a future for myself with her.

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"Thanks for making me richer."

>you'll realise they're all pretty much garbage
Yes your women are garbage. Only good for fucking.
Slav women are better. They don't hide how shallow they (initially) are and let you mold them into whatever you want them to be. My wife does anything i want and she's happy doing it for me.
People are animal, you have to train your woman and you'll spend good amount of effort on it. In the end it's your choice, if you think having a person who feels fulfilled by making you happy isn't worth few years sifting through trash, that's perfectly fine. But don't be bitter and project your shitty experience on everyone else, because there are plenty of women who can make it worth your time, not just by providing good sex, but by always going the extra mile to make sure you're happy with them.
It's the small things that count - i wake up to a tasty breakfast on the table and a smiling wife, my suitcase packed with everything i need plus a meal so i don't have to eat the shit at restaurants near office, my freshly ironed clothes prepared on her side of the bed, always talking me up wherever we go, and so on.

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It just works without bitching

She's hot.

I have one

I have a computer

its white

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Based and red pilled.

It hasn't abandoned me.

It didn't fly to the other side of the country
;_;

It is smaller than others but you don't get arrested for using it.

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I can put folders of anime tiddies in it.
...well actually

It's 3 years old and makes me nut on a regular basis.

I can actually have sexual pleasure using it

I have one

7 years old and I masturbate in front of her.

I have one.

youtu.be/NKjV9Az4lYc?t=360

...

I have twenty. Can't even use my office for anything but shitposting now. Pretty sure my death will be caused by shit falling on me.

Being this retarded. No wonder you’re married.

>Things you can say about your computer but not your girlfriend
Can’t wait for the newer model so I can replace my trash unit.

>If you put the same effort into selecting a woman to mate with as you put to selecting components in your shitbox, you'd never get laid

fixed

I love you

It's the longest relationship I've had.

You can say that if you are Muslim

You laggy POS