Plain and simple, all things bidet

>I cut my hair with nail clippers
Again, you're a moron.

>talk about cleaning
>makes le epic comeback taking about cutting your hair

No, it's a bidet. Every country in the world that uses bidets (with the exception of I T A L Y and a few Euros) use attached bidets. That's the standard.

Standalone bidets waste space, waste plumbing, are less comfortable, and have fewer features.

bidets are the main cause behind Muslims contaminating their food with poo bacteria, in their religious tradition they have to wipe their has like Muhammad said, two options: with a stone or with water and your hand. I have one of those things and when the thing gets out of hand instead of tryharding and wiping layer upon layer of shiet you just clean by using the bidet.
Theres been cases of Muslims being called out by authorities for contaminating bread with poo and recommending them to not wipe their asses with their hands. Also not to mix up with rotten meat that some degenerates put into kebabs.

>let’s just ignore the actual countries that invented it and have it mandatory BY LAW in each bathroom and are the actual majority of the users
Yeah, keep talking about the “standard” way user I’m listening

Great technology guys

I wish I had a bidet, I don't know how anyone can consider toilet paper as "clean". You literally just smear shit against yourself.

Wow, I never knew EUROPE invented the airplane, or discovered electricity. What's the standard the entire world needs to use on those, hm?

Oh, wait, it doesn't matter who "invented" it, only what's most widely used by the world population. That's what's "standard". Like the standard toilet design. Not the first, but it's the most adopted and used.

> If I got shit on my hands I'd just rub it off with paper towels and no water whatsoever
t.wipelet

Attached: wipelet.jpg (300x300, 18K)

>purposefully ignores the rest of my fucking post
Yeah user, I bet you even have sex with that flimsy water straw. Don’t worry, you deserve having the peasant “”””standard”””” experience

What a lovely thread.

Posting mine. Canada, by the way.

Attached: IMG_20181216_1711072.jpg (3000x4000, 3.68M)

this is why the underwear of you faggot-ass protestants smells at the end of the day. You know it's not supposed to vaguely smell like your shit right? If it smells like shit—that means there is shit—that's because your crack is full of tiny tp-shit pills.
You're supposed to wipe with tp, then bidet off the residue, then dry.

>he uses a bidet
>he doesn't just strip from waist down, hop in the tub, and wipe it nice and clean from the faucet

Attached: 1514654915442.png (550x412, 166K)

>he doesn’t take a complete shower each time he takes a dump

Taking a shower gets your hair wet and involves a lot of drying. Thoroughly rinsing off your ass with a tub faucet takes 5 seconds.

Is this some viral marketing shit?

If it is, I don't think I've ever seen such chaotic viral marketing.

>not just sitting on the lip of the tub and hanging your ass down to wash it

>filling the entire tub every time you need to take a shit
Just spend the $700 and buy a bidet, you bigot.

I do that when I run outta paper. It's nice, but a hassle

How can a woman survive without a bidet is honestly beyond me...absolutely barbaric

>t. retard

t. Senior that never leaves their nursing home.

My wife and I rented a house from some south korean couple and they had bidets on their toilets.. at first it was a little weird but after like the second poop I was absolutely in love.

I have no idea how Americans live without these, they are so much fucking cleaner..
think of it this way:

if you got shit on your face would you just use a dry paper towel to wipe it off? or would you maybe use some fucking water?

and don't fall for the wet wipe meme, if your flushing that shit down your just ruining your pipes, alternatively if you're putting them in a trashcan that's just fucking disgusting..

Do yourself a favor, if you are reading this and do not have a bidet, get one. You can get one on amazon for like $20 and install it easily.

>faggot likes having water shot up his asshole
What a surprise

>square bowl

Attached: 1540580825080.jpg (709x595, 156K)

Heh, nothing personnel, kid.

Attached: 1515083589767.png (675x1024, 841K)

This is what I do. A bidet sounds nice in theory but it's just a water spray, there's no soap or actual washing. I wouldn't feel clean just using one of these things.

anyone else use baby wipes to clean their asd

>mfw these actually sound like a good idea
>mfw i can no longer tell if Jow Forums is trying to trick me into acting like an autist or if Jow Forums just is autistic
I need to get off this site.

Attached: 1516003316060.png (600x578, 319K)

imagine how guarded and tense one's psyche has to be such that the mere mention of anything even tangentially related to homosexualuty, like washing your ass, causes them to lash out at others in a pathetic, self-deluded attempt at throwing others off their gay trail. Quit lying to yourself, pal.

What the fuck, how do people come to the conclusion that you need to "blast your asshole full of water" when using bidet? It's like a shower for your asshole, not a fucking enema you idiots.

Small story: Moved in to smaller apartment from 2 bathrooms to 1 bathroom flat.
now have to share bathroom with wife and kids.
Have a hanging towel just above the toilet, closest towel to hands after washing them, use it to wipe face/hands for a week, wife informs me that that's her ass wiping towel after bide, after seeing me using it.

MACFAGGOT BTFO

Attached: 1522156510790.png (263x240, 111K)

>no water whatsoever
>not using wet paper

Attached: wat-11.gif (500x419, 239K)

was that supposed to disgust me or turn me on?

>complete

Just shower from the neck down or use a shower cap. Done in 2-5 minutes.

I don't get bidets. Without any rubbing action, how do you suppose a water spout would make any difference?

IN
ADDITION
DUMBFUCK

Neither, just a bidet related story.

Want to invest in to a drying toilet seat so she can get over the ass towel thing, apparently she has been doing this for long time so hard to break that habit, now she just has to hide it better, and not hold it on face/hand towel level.

In addition to TP, and in this model, you can control the stream to have it on a kind of high so the hole gets blasted, just not too much.

Attached: 6414150035579.jpg (1200x1000, 45K)

I'm sort of interested in the idea of the bidet. Currently I spend 15 minutes wiping + 15 minutes in the shower washing with hot water and soap, so a bidet could save me a huge amount of time. It takes so much time to shit and causes such a disruption to my day that I only shit once every few days, on average.

Yes, I know I have a problem.

What is a good starter bidet? Currently I'm concerned that I'll accidentally shit on the nozzle.

is there one that just straight up fucks you?

Maybe you should start with a proper diet, user.

Attached: 1544669744166.jpg (1242x1239, 1.64M)

something like this is a cheap and easy way to test if you would benefit from it.

Well, if your asshole is already loose and cant tighten it at all, you can just relax and let the water in... Or are you looking for a dildo?

Posting

Attached: IMG_20181216_175035.jpg (3024x4032, 2.92M)

Jesus, at least clean it before posting pics.

That plug on bathroom floor also is a bit triggering.

Fucking homo degenerates, kill yourselves. You don't need to fuck your ass every time you perform a natural bodily function. Christ alive.

But then what's the advantage compared to using wetted paper?

Found a picture of you

It's like washing your face or taking a shower, you want water to be hitting the dirty spots directly, not wiping with wet paper.

Attached: pepeshart.jpg (492x493, 50K)

Also, again, how are you making this about fucking the ass? you are washing it with a shower.

In some countries there are just bowls of water that you splash on, that's not as effective as full on shower, but they have bad pluming there.

>you want water to be hitting the dirty spots directly
>water carried by paper doesn't "hit directly"

WELL nothing. But wet paper breaks easily, and that you don't want. And if you use more paper such that your fingers don't poke through, well that's a waste of paper. You could always use wipes I suppose, but those fuck up your pipes and the environment. It also makes you feel like an infant. The best answer then is to man up and rinse your ass with a stream of water—very unintuitive, I know.

we already went over this:

>But wet paper breaks easily, and that you don't want.
Only with bad paper.
> if you use more paper such that your fingers don't poke through, well that's a waste of paper.
I find that the additional paper used for the final wet wiping is a very small fraction of the total amount of paper used.

On the other hand, it seems like a bidet requires you to manipulate fecal matter in an unshielded manner, which sounds far worse.

You could also shower with wet paper, and wash your face with wet paper, it's just like the real thing after all, right.

Well, if you don't find the arguments compelling, just keep on wiping.

Pretty much, tbqh. The main reason for using a shower instead of wet towels is convenience; when you're washing your whole body anyway, using a spray that hits everything isn't a drawback, and also makes it easier to rinse off soap. Not to mention that the equivalent washing would use up a very large amount of paper/towels that would have to be handled in some way. Different arguments, in other words; hygienically, I would consider it very similar. Using wet-wipes for cleaning your hands is very comparable to washing with water.

My issue with these things is that there are buttons right on the top surfaces where little kids pee

>very small fraction
since we're talking about what's at least a daily occurrence, every tiny bit adds up—and I'm talking about both wasting a little more paper than you need from the roll, and wasting a little more money than you need to buying extra-strength TP. It adds up to thousand over a lifetime.
Personally I buy the paper as thin as I can, as long as it is quilted, for grip. That way I can use precisely the thickness of paper I need, without overestimating via thick/triple-plied paper. That's how they jew you.

Fucking what? Why would little kids be peeing there? smack them if they do, or teach them to sit down and pee.

Just get the base kit. No buttons. Pool of fresh water, put your dirty junk in in it, apply soup ph5 neutro whatever. Your junk is now civilized, Enjoy not stinking like a pig. Tons of pussy coming back just 4u with this simple trick

Nobody touches their asshole in the shower, dumb ass. Sure the water runs down there, but you don't touch it.

>Americans don't ise bidets
so I guess you all have shitstains on your boxers?

Attached: Screenshot_20181012-124903.png (1267x2048, 1.12M)

Hygienically, you could come close after using wet wipes after TP, but convenience of using bide after TP is still there, but to each his own.

>he fingers his ass when he showers
Again, stop spreading this faggot degeneracy like it's normal.

How dirty are you? Why would you not wash your asshole while you are in the shower?

This is a pretty good idea but the only problem is that I don't want to have to go through the process of convincing my family to install one.

Stop being so american you idiot.

>not washing the dirtiest part of you, ever, for the fear of being gay

ok then....

yeah I want a dildo like an ice cream scooper to get the leftover bits out

so your telling us that you don't put soap on your hand at the end of the day and clean your ass. I fell sorry for your butthole because it must be itchy af

>degenerates
nobody views this a sexual thing besides you.
cleanliness is not degeneracy, and you're the one who ends up smelling like shit at the end of the day

>fell sorry
Jesus christ my typing is shit when im tired

Attached: concerd.jpg (125x94, 3K)

Nobody touches their ass in the shower unless they're planning on doing something.

Pls, i implore u to be more civil, use your god given bidet.
Stop the nigger stinking of the world.
pls

Yeah, like washing it? Fucking mongoloid.

I think I've got it

You're having someone else touch your ass for you, right?

Attached: 1544391383394.jpg (900x720, 120K)

Fear of nothing, I'm just not a gay boi who fucks his ass when I shower. Feel free to do what you want and smell like a flowery princess every day, but I'm fine smelling like a real man (and the ladies love it).

Ok then mister not afraid of anything but washing his own asshole and smelling like a "man"

I don't expect a generation Z basedboy like you to understand, but good luck when you move out.

my routine is:
shit, wipe, workout, shower
if i didn't workout, i'd do this

Bidet is a godsend for me
Yeah I pumped high pressure water up my ass but why the fuck should I care,I want to clean my fucking asshole and only true cockjuggling nigger rimming cumslurpers would care apparently
I always have dry and hard stools, so I need to lube up my dry fucking asshole or else I have to do that rather than pressing my ass for 15 minutes
So thank god for this gay ass technology for helping me take healthy fulfilling shit,and fuck the fags who like shit smear on their pants

Now all I need is a portable pump bidet type shit so I can go overseas comfortably without clenching my ass

>washing poop chute = fucking your ass
>I'm just not a gay boi
If the mere act of indirectly touching your own butthole is a sexual experience for you, I've got some news.

basado y rojo pastillado

what if you don't shit on schedule?

Thanks, will let you know how it goes for sure. So once i start smelling like ass and sweat, i will start getting mad pussy?

vertical brownies on your boxers: unlocked

do the needful sir

How poorly do you fuckers eat that you can't clean your ass with a single wipe of TP? I don't know about you, but I'm not about to waste a thousand dollars to wash my ass when it's not dirty in the first place, since I actually eat vegetables.

Well you see...>since I actually eat vegetables

Oh never mind

It's no secret that living on microwave meals and fast food will fuck up your insides.