Fellas how true is this?

fellas how true is this?
I feel most places fucking hate over done/formatted resumes such as the one on the left
Why can't IT resumes just be formatted txt files from np++

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I was on a job search in September of last year, and I used one of those spiffy online sites to my my resume look nice (like the one on the right but a little more interesting). And actually one of the HR ladies who called me back commented and said my resume really stood out to her because of that. So I think it's a good choice. On the other hand, the company I actually accepted the job at, 2 of the 3 people on the interview board literally didn't even read my resume.

Hmmmmm interesting response. Thank you! i'm currently looking through a site with a lot of resume templates and some just look straight up autistic, buuuuut there are some good ones here. Probably use one of those.

Your resume go over one page in length??

If you upload your resume through a system, make sure it is as normal as possible or it might get fucked and trashed. No special headers or footers.

Handing it to some one, you can add some flair.

>stars to show skill
Yikes

V good point!! I'll keep that in mind, thank you!!

>notepad++
you don't deserve a job, scum

No, it didn't. I had almost no relevant experience in tech, just 1 entry-level job.

>bubbles to represent skill
What the fug

In my experience it depends on who's reading it.
If some lesbian zoomer kid is reading it it's better to be fully memed out with aesthetics.
If its a 50y.o. boomer manager that its better to be serious af, grayscale and simple.

Just write your resume in org-mode and export it with different .sty files to pdf or html.

gib me job

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I work as a recruiter. I don't give a fuck about how your resume looks like as long as you are competent.

Left is unironically better. I don't want everything I read to look like a hastily designed material design app for fuck sake

>tabitha
>coding: expert

My e-mail automatically flags all txt files containing \r as spam.
I hope you have configured your text editor properly.

koding*

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the life of a programmer NEET

>wake up at 7pm
>skim over some programming books for an hour and a half
>solve 5 programming projects in the other 30 mins
>eat mom's dinner at 9pm
>read up on obscure abandoned languages until 12 pm
>create a program that cures cancer using monads
>toss in the trash bin later
>read up on pre-primitive languages and invent one yourself
>re-create your cancer program in it
>delete it later
>by 9am already read SICP 3 times and photoedited it onto at least 100 anime girls
>spend the rest of the morning watching anime and masturbating
>go to sleep at 1pm

I'll tell you what they tell us in army transition classes.

The most important thing is that your shit is visible. Left looks like complete ass. It's all cluttered and hard to read. Right is just stupid, you either have the skill or you don't and nobody gives two fucks about chronology.

Never go over one page

Online resumes submitted to an automatic system should be submitted as .txt files because a lot of resume systems can only read plaintext anyway and will strip out all formatting before formatting in their own way on the back end. This results in a lot of information being thrown into the wrong fields on the back end or being erased entirely. Just assume every automatic resume submission is being read by a commodore 64.

Simple and clean, always. Your resume doesn't get looked at for more than 30 seconds, if they can't find what they need to know in that time, you get put in the circular file.


Or you can just do pic related and see what happens.

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>"coding" on a professional resume
Immediately into the trash.

Good luck when the one on the right gets corrupted to fuck when it goes through their shitty HR software so the hiring manager can't even read your resume lol

unironically yikes

Rate my CV. I coded this using basic HTML and CSS (no image, except those icons that I pulled straight from Kingdom Come). Also I use Vue, because I can easily write any template I want using that.
This CV did landed me a test (which I have submitted) and they invited me to interview this week.

Attached: cv.jpg (1786x2329, 183K)

Improve that a bit, buy a domain and start hosting it as a personal site.

>C#
stopped reading there and threw it into the poo bin

so which language I should learn nigger?

Assembly to prove you're not a lazy faggot

Yeah, I'm planning to host my pages on my personal VPS. I still don't have a domain though. Probably will bought one this year
No thanks.

Have fun competing with pajeet for a less-than-minimum-wage IT job then

Not knowing basic assembly in at least 1 architecture should be a fact you're ashamed of and want to change about yourself.

day of a roast coder:
>leave bar at 2am. all the chads wanted those asian girls again. don't they notice my blue hair? those girls are way too skinny.
>go home and lay in bed on instagram until 3:30
>wake up at 12pm. oh no i'm late for work we normally meet up at 11:30 before going into the office for a lunch at the local organic vegan farm fresh daily dose trendy brunch $18 for a salad bistro
>show up at work at 1pm just while others are arriving. phew, i'll just tell them that i decided to stay home and try a new recipe for a paleo vegan kale salad with environmentally-friendly tofu and daiya cheese
>sit down at iMac and wait for auto-updates to install.
>call that creepy tech guy over to fix my iMac after it updates. he always mansplains about update scheduling and dependencies.
>iMac works again, file HR complaint against that creep for sexism
>call the creep over again because the update made my iMac forget all my passwords again and i can't log into instagram
>finally ready to go. log into twitter to post my daily "start of another day of coding! #kodewithkloss #girlswhocode #italiano." timestamp: 2:12 pm
>assignment for the day, input the client's product names into the name field of a javascript code that some other creep wrote
>can't remember the syntax, good thing i have crazy_strings.rb (which i wrote myself) to guide me.
>copy code, paste into js, cmd+f "hello, world" and replace with product names (yes i know keyboard shortcuts! girls who CODE!)
>all finished, send code to creep #2 for review (waiting for an opportunity to submit a HR complaint against him, too. i just email them directly to la'queefuh, she knows what's up.)
>leave office, meeting everyone at 3:30 for our after-work reward. today we're meeting at a place which serves free-range tibetian monk moustache shavings. so sustainable!)
>go home to get ready for another night out with the girls!

Attached: thechadcoder.jpg (1400x814, 446K)

>Wake up at 5am in the same clothing you plan to go to work in.
>Brush white beard with your fingers.
>Feed all 4 of your cats, presumably on the kitchen counter.
>Enter your Prius for the daily work commute
>Listen to a combination of AM conservative talk radio, NPR, and Rush (the band, and the commentator).
> Proceed to coast at about 63mph in the 2nd-left lane of freeway.
>Chuckle sensibly when irate Audi javascript brogrammer swerves past you doing 90+.
>Get to cubicle, smelling of chinese food, cigerette smoke and despair
>Hit the filthy spacebar a few times to awaken a mid-2000 desktop pc (open case).
>The CRT illumates Windows 98 desktop that is littered with folders and files, covering an F-35 wallpaper.
> Launch a fully licensed version of IDA.
>crack knuckles and sit down in a computer chair that likely gets 2 star reviews at Staples.com
>Launch Real Audio player and connect to stream of John C. Dvorak show talking about computing trends.
>Get up and fill moldy coffee mug with bland coffee and some carcinogenic laden creamer powder.
>Gawk at the intern UXD intern, in her perfectly fengshui cubicle.
>.....

Skills list is 8/10 for a web developer, definitely worth looking at for a .NET project. Two areas I see lacking are testing and devops tech, and maybe some bundlers / task-runners like webpack, gulp etc. You may have abilities in these, but be aware some employers like to see them.

Projects are 6/10 personally, I'd like a little more detail on your role in the project and what you accomplished while working there. For our company resumes it's standard to sum up the project in bullet points or 1 or 2 sentences each, and we generally only list the last couple years' worth of projects, which you've done, so maybe 6/10 is a bit harsh, but the info I see there isn't doing it for me.

For the rest of your personal info, I guess 9/10, only point I dock is no section for certs.

I'd actually call that person in for a face-to-face interview just so I could see how fucked up she is in real life.

I have programmed several uCs, and I use C++ all the time, C++14 to be precise. Is it worth to learn AVR assembly? Since like learning this is quite an effort rather than working on a project or I could learn something else like Lua or Ruby.

Thanks user, I did land a job on C#. Tbh with you, I have never used gulp/webpack. I should've learn them just like you said.

As long as you know *one* assembly language of any architecture, IMO that's enough. x86 is ubiquitous, ARM is the future, MIPS is a clean RISC that is popular in IOT/embedded... If you're doing a lot of AVR programming then I think it's a good choice. I don't know much about microcontroller architectures to be honest, outside of MIPS and MSP-430.

story is she actually got the job because at the end of the day she was the most qualified. but they did tell her never to submit anything like that ever again.

>that picture
Don’t blue ball me, post the pony one

>I have never used gulp/webpack. I should've learn them just like you said.
It's situational, but handy to know. It sort of completes the front end package.

And yeah, the skills list alone is quite strong, above average for a web developer, and would probably get you an interview where I work. Advice I gave is mainly from a "where could you improve" point of view, overall it clearly is effective since it got you a job.

How the fuck is the one on the right LESS overdone/formatted than the left?

> uses notepad++
> gets made fun of for being a faggot
> learns emacs
> gets made fun of for being a faggot
> switches to vim
> gets made fun of for being a faggot

Okay user, since I have passed a test, do you have any tips to really secure my job during interview?

yeah thats pretty much how it works

we're all fags

In general, you wanna appear self-motivated and interested in tech. Having personal projects is good, studying for certs is fantastic. Show interest in the company too, study up on them, what they do, what their culture is. They might give you a chance to ask them questions, you should ask at least one. Getting to ask questions is big, it makes the interview more dynamic, it gives you a chance to put them in the answer seat and judge their answers. Asking about their business, or specific projects and how they're being implemented, is one of the best uses of this opportunity because it blends all the previous qualities together in one go.

The great vim vs emacs war rages on even now, and if you aren't a part of it, you're the enemy.

Thanks user. I really appreciate your help.

>dots indicating your self-evaluation
That seems like a terrible idea. Maybe if you a rating like that in some form of reference it'd be a funny way to present that.
With the reference being made explicit of course.

The pony one isn't real.

One on the right is complete fucking dogshit. 5/5 Leadership? What the FUCK does that even mean? How do you quantify leadership on a five point scale?

Hmm, that's interesting. I agree that x86 has run its course as an ISA, but I've always been under the impression that RISC-V was going to be the next big thing over ARM. The ability to define new instruction codes is very appealing, what makes you say ARM?

I fucking hate this
I will present my tech skills in a fucking game interface next time

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I've never had an ugly resume like hers, but i did get an interview due to some unconventional extra "fluff" i put in an old resume. Friends were horrified i'd put that stuff in but i think it made me memorable (in a weird way) since the interviewers asked about it and we had a laugh. This likely only works if the weirdness isn't something that shows a lack of self-awareness or professionalism.

Why don't people put any photos in their resumes?

A resume should tell as little about you as possible that can be detrimental to you. Basically anything can be detrimental short of honestly listing skills directly related to the job, and showing a good employment history.

You could be right. I mostly work with embedded and IOT and that's a mix of MIPS and ARM for now. ARM is slowly but surely moving into the higher-performance sectors which is why I said it would be the future.

What if you are actually good looking? wouldn't that be a plus?

>fellas how true is this?

Take the resume on the right and chop the top and right side off. If you represent your skills like a table top role playing character sheet I will immediately throw your resume away.

LinkedIn is the real source of employment opportunities

what uC/CPU do you program in your IoT job?

No, because you don't know who will see it.
> some dude less good looking with a chip on his shoulder
> some woman who sees a resemblance between you and a guy that beat her
Like most information, it might be neutral, or it might fuck you over. You can charm people in person a lot more effectively than a photo on a resume.
Further, most people sorting resumes are literally only interested in key-words related to the job, since they're probably sifting through a stack of 200 resumes and they're not assessing each one as a unique individual, theyre looking for any flaw to trash it.

We work with a lot of different devices. We don't write much assembly but it's really useful to understand it.

Not him, but how do you "learn" assembly? I had to do some projects on an Arduino at uni, the chip had something like 250-ish instructions and 99% of the effort was searching through the 200-page manual to figure out what instructions would work for what you're doing, and checking references of what all the registers and shit do.
Doesn't x86 have a couple thousand instructions or something? Does "learning assembly" mean that you're expected to memorize a large enough subset of those so as to be able to only check the reference manual for more esoteric tasks? Because that sounds completely useless unless you're actually going to be directly applying that memorised knowledge in your job. Or does being comfortable with writing problems without the syntax sugar of high level languages count as "learning"? Because that sounds trivial. Might as well "learn" brainfuck or something.

And now you know why C exists.

Of course, but why are people still advocating for learning assembly, not out of necessity, but as a learning experience?
Unless the idea is for them to come to the same conclusion as me, but then the advice should rather be to "experience assembly", not learn one.

user, this is genius

How did the left one fuck up the bullet points? That sticks out like a sore thumb.