Confession time

Worse thing you've done or most embarrassing thing that has happened to you. I have to go to bed soon and I'd like to be disappointed before I sleep.

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>was giving dog a bath
>had been enlightened on the pleasures of masturbating in the shower at the time
>being in shower started making me thing certain thoughts
>one thing leads to another
>there's cum on my dog
benis never made contact with dog but i still can't live that moment of my hormonal years down

man what the hell

I mean.. At least you didn't do anything else. Good cofession. Successfully disappointed.

I killed someone when I was little

Continue.. you didn't fully confess

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did she bark at penis?

>be me circa 8th grade
>very skinny, my undies always ride up to my belly due to shorts being loose and me having to pull them up
>be one day playing tennis
>my oneitis, many chads and other girls on team
>all other duos have finished playing, down to just me playing someone
>everyone watching us because we are last 2
>final point
>i jump up to hit high flying ball to slam it
>my shirt flies up
>my undies are past belly button high
>they are tightey whiteys
>everyone staring at me
>hear all the stacies laughing
>oneitis never respected me again

even years later it weighs upon me. please comfort me friens :(

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one time i forgot to sage a frogposter thread and accidentally bumped it

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>be frog
>spend entire life being abused and patronized by normies
>frozed by cirno
>hated by everyone
>now bullied even in one of our last refuges
why u keep deoing this to us :(((

im just doing gods work, and i wont stop until this board is purged of all frogniggers

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This is America

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i life in a apartment on the ground floor.
i was jerking off to some hate-fuck porn.
suddenly someone knocked on my window.
it was a female police officer.
i jumped from my chair in embaressment and crawled under the table.
i pulled up my pants and walked to the entrance door of the apartment building.
i had extreme panic. I thought that the police was coming for me because the porn was to loud and a neighbour might called them.
it turned out that an old lady who was living in our apartment building was escorted because she was too drunk to find home. she lost her key´s and thats why the officer knocked on my window. so i can open the house door. as i walked away i could hear the female police officer giggle :(

Should've just said, "EYYYY, I'M TRYIN' TO MASTURBATE HERE!"
Everyone touches themself, no shame.

I used to practice karate and I was p gud.
Purple belt, and i was coordinated and fast.
I let some tiny little asian kid pick on me for 2 years because the karate studio I practiced at was a firm believer in not resorting to fighting unless it was a life threatening emergency.
Whole class lost all respect for me and i was always nervous and unhappy.
20 years later, the fucking guy tried to be FB friends with me WTF?
I didnt reply fuck that guy
Still haunted by those events
If i ever have a male child, I'm teaching him to fight

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if you were bigger than him why didnt you pick on him back

>I had sex in the toilets in Sufers Paradise
>Bunch of kids walked in
>ohshit.exe
>literally shaking for 5 minutes
>fucking bolted leaving guy behind
I think I got an std now :(

>be me
well, there you go

>thanks user for coming to my mothers funeral
>"sure thing anytime"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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When I was 18 I scamed little kids on Xbox live out of money by convincing them I was a hacker and could give them aimbots for call of duty

this reminds me
one time i got pulled over and the cop was about to leave and he said "stop speeding, drive safely and respect your fellow driver" and i said "t-thanks y-you too"

Eh not too bad. Everyone forgets what happened in middle school. You're the only one who remembers.

Say you want to meet him for lunch and fuck his ass up.

at my age nothing embarrasses a men.

When I was in 2nd grade my teacher caught me peeking into girls locker room and she kicked my ass.

>be me in middle school
>discover deviantart
>wtf i like shitty inflation art now
>dont know what browser history is
>dad searches muh history
>he explains it saves every page I look at
>oh fug D:
>wander off and try to watch a movie in living room as my dad looks at it all
>"son, come over here"
>slink over to my room again
>"what is all this?"
>face as red as possible, eyes watering already
>" it wasnt me!"
>he opens a few extra embarrasing examples, dobson-tier inflation
>"it wasnt me..."
>pc is in my room, nobody else uses it, but thats all i can think to say
>he laughs at how retarded the art looks
>brings mom in to look at my fetish
>"oh, all boys look at porn"
>she just said that to try and make me not kill myself, we all think its pathetic

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I fucked an average girl once, midway through the session I lost all desire and my weenis deflated. I went to light a cigarette and she said something like ”I know its because I’m ugly....” I responded with ”pretty much” and just sat there looking through my phone. She started to silently cry, which turned me back on so I made her suck me off. Afterwards I smeared her lipstick and mascara around, called her a dumb slut, and fucked off. Haven’t seen her since

>at school, grade 7
>everything's boring except for afterschool activities
>today, I skipped my afterschool activities
>I had a plan, and I was set on it
>walk into the bathroom
>I look at the soap dispenser, what an innocent, undefiled soap dispenser
>brute force it off
>low on soap, perfect
>I jump up on the sink countertop
>drop my pants
>crouch over the soap dispenser
>try to shit
>constipated.bmp
>shit, and quite literally in this situation
>try to push it out, Fucking Hurts
>it's practically cutting up my asshole, it bloody hurts
>finally shit
>the clunk of it hitting the bottom of the dispenser is the sound of my victory
>realize I I have to wipe my ass
>get toilet paper, wipe ass
>dump it on the floor to add insult to injury
>look at my work, cackle with sheer malicious intent
>go home

>back in school next morning
>listening to announcements, nothing interesting
>"Someone defecated into the soap dispenser in the boy's bathroom."
>laugh maniacally on the inside, the damage has been done
>the man on the PA is one flick away from thorough anger, it sounds like he wants to throw a table across the room
>hilarious
>bloody hilarious

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who the heck are you guys quoting?

I got good grades in my undergraduate, psych kids are trash at stats and people caught on that I lef tutorials early. A girl called issy followed me out and made friends, I quite liked her, I wouldn't mind smashing. Turns out she just wanted the marks to the major stats assignment (60% worth of the grade with a 50% hurdle). I was pissed and even more so because she had a boyfriend and was flirting with me. I also found out from a friend that she was going to give my answers to all her friends. Anger intensifies. I completed the assignment and gave it to her but all the answers were wrong. Dumb cunt didn't even check over or change the template. Two tutorials later, assignments are expected to be returned. The tutor comes in scathing, explains that of the 30 people in this tutorial group 27 failed and collectively 137 people in the entire cohort failed due to wrong answers and blatant plaigurism. Me and two other students were told to leave the tutorial as it won't be about statistics, rather about academic penalties. Issy sent my fake assignment to the majority of the cohort, most people failed. It was the biggest plaigurism incident the university has ever seen. Be decent kids or some angry nerd will destroy your future.