Bidets Are Technology

Why haven't you ascended to having a clean ass yet, Jow Forums?

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Mutt here, how do bidets work do you just use your fingers and water to rub your asshole clean? I already do that in the shower every morning I thought everyone did

i find this kind better

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You don't use your fingers or anything it just sprays it clean.

Or so I assume. I travelled in a rural area that just had flexible hoses with a spray head next to the toilet. Worked really damn well honestly. I keep thinking about buying a bidet but I worry what guests would think.

Either they think you have special needs, a weird homosexual fetish, or they think it's kind of neat that you have a bidet and they're thinking of maybe getting one too. There are no other opinions than these when an American sees a bidet (of any kind).

whats the point of bidets having stoppers? i'm not sure shit water is something you'd be interesting in collecting and reusing and i'd hope people wouldnt just use them as sinks considering their intended purpose

I use a garden hose as a bidet

Bidets are for those unable to wipe.
>inb4 muh europeen and water > paper to justify their disability cope

Yup
Are you too young to have butt hair or are you effeminate enough to shave it?

Washing your feet

I have one. Costs 21$ on Amazon. Best purchase ever made. No more itchy butt.

how do you use it? do you end up with pajeet hands afterwards?

You don't use your hands, it just fucks your ass with water, like an enema.

Do I have to say 'no homo' or is it already implied upon installation?

>Not fingering your asshole with soap to get it completely clean

water in butthole is same as dick in butthole, both gay.

So which one of those towels on the rack is the designated ass towel? If you're thinking that's what the tp is for, then you've never used tp on a wet hairy ass. It will disintegrate.

Or do you walk around with a wet ass after using the bidet?

Or you could just use these, and not be like some kind of European gay-boy that likes having water sprayed up his asshole.

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I have a built-in bidet, and I use TP just fine. Granted it's the thickest 3 ply you can buy (at Superstore), but still.

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>Charmin ultra soft
>Top of the line jap bidet
>Squatty potty
>Ass drying towel
You must fucking love shitting

My ex used to have one in his house, they're alright I guess. Saves toilet paper I suppose. Fucking up the preasure is uncomfortable though.

I wouldn't say I love it, but when it has to happen I want things to be as comfortable as possible. Especially with the amount of drinking I do, my horrendous diet, and all the cheese (I'm lactose intolerant).

Despite the labeling, those will actually clog up septic pipes

>squatty potty
I see you have ascended from the primitive lifestyle of sitting to shit.

you use your fingers, you filthy animal. you clean your ass hole after you wiped it with toilet paper because the water pressure isn't enough to remove all the shit

Shit battlestation.

I use my bidet every single day since forever, like a good EU citizen
every single home I've ever live in had bidet on every bathroom
I see it the same as garbage disposers: they are pretty common in USA, but I have never seen one in EU

Female guests will unilaterally like it.
Male guests will think it's gay.
But having male guests is gay anyway so it's a win win.

>having dingleberries is manly

I have one of these little shower heads. Good for cleaning not just the ass, but also other things like shoes.

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user, most cheese doesn't contain enough lactose to cause a reaction.

I will eat an entire block of cheese in a single sitting. I don't even bother to slice it, I just take bites out of the block.

Aye, that'll do it.

Will it make my hemmies worse? I want to get a bidet.

>being clean is gay
I hate how men think sometimes

Yes, you do.

But some bidets have so much water pressure that you feel like you are getting raped by a water dick.

Dang bro, why

What bidet is that?

bidets make you gay, the spray feels too good
you better watch out fellas

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F R A G I L E M A S C U L I N I T Y

What do one of these cost? I'm from India btw

>He doesn't pressure wash his rectum with an industrial pump

Cheese is good.

It's a BioBidet Slim One.

people wipe but wiping is never enough
this is why filthy fucks like you inevitably get hemorrhoids
i don't have a bidet but i get in the fucking shower and wash my asshole properly every time i take a shit
it's just common sense

yeah these are superior

What do you think of superior nip toilets?

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>Keeps a bottle of Listerine on his toilet bowl.

You might as well put your toothbrush on there too

Truly a king's throne.

Having an unwiped ass builds character

>oh no, what will the others think of me?

I don't see how squirting water on your sphincter is that effective with no soap involved.
What do you do with you're wet ass?

How difficult is the assembly on one of these?

I used a bidet when I stayed at a hotel in Barcelona.
I didn't think it worked very well as my butthole only felt wet, not clean.
I'd then have to hover my ass back over to the toilet to wipe with TP
It was a shitty experience

i was talking about my experience with my friends wife's father
he said that bidets were only for women to wash their cooch and laughed at me for using it

I've been confused and disappointed about the whole experience.
Can someone who is in the know help me understand?

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With camera, and automatic upload to YouTube?

Plumber fag here. Don't ever flush these. They will clog up your plumbing.

It's typically pretty simple. Connect the bidet's water intake to the tank's water intake (general water source) with a 'T' connector (think of the bidet's supply as the 'I' of the 'T' intersection), and install the bidet under (or replacing) your current toilet seat. Done. Takes ten minutes, tops.

thx

Eurofriends, how do you know when your asshole is clean?

So either that's a weird kind of sink or some kind of feminine urinal because there's no way in hell a turd is gonna slip through either of those plugs, and most women dab their pussies clean anyways

The brondell simplespa?
I unironically bought one after a thread a couple months back on Jow Forums about bidets, its a real game changer in the ass cleanliness department

not everyone in tech is a pajeet who eats so much curry that their entire ass is constantly covered in liquid shit residue. White men poop solid. I wipe and clean my ass in shower, and my ass is clean enough for my wife to rim me.

Where is the american-sized bidet, in which various iShit was drowned?

Why bidet, when you can have flexible showerhanle?
With high mains pressure you don't even need a soap of sort. Works like pressure washer

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Does anyone peel those warning stickers off?
Every bidet I see posted looks like some special needs shit because there's always a checklist of dumb fucking warnings on the lid

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Jelly poojeet

*clogs your shitter and doesn't dissolve in muriatic acid*
Nothing personal kid, enjoy diving into shitty shitter

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I don't clean my ass or myself at all

This scares and confuses Americans.

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Naw you have to write no homo on it in sharpie

As an American I grew up in a "no shoes" household, and it doesn't seem that uncommon on the rare occasion that I actually get invited over to someone else's place.

Fuck yeah Finland mentioned!

Almost every home in Finland has them,the best in business imo.

This kind is seperate from the toilet. You don't shit in it. Just wash

You're mom will eat an entire block of cheese in a single sitting. She doesn't even bother to slice it, she just take bites out of the block, if you catch my drift

Way to fucking complicated, if you piss standing, you will hate cleaning that shit.

>if you piss standing

cringe and bluepilled

Yeah, space waster. Same function as with less space wasted,

Well, it's Japan, who knows.

Because it's unlikely that I will ever receive a rimjob from a qt grill so it doesn't matter.

it's about hygiene, not rimjobs you fagot.

Same. Euros need to put more effort into their memes.

Probably some asian

Wait, how is it more complicated if you piss standing? You don't neet the water spray and drier fan then, you just flush.

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You use your fingers on your asshole? What the fuck. Isn't that filthy?

If it's about hygiene why are you spreading shit all over your fingers? There's no way that washing your hands in the sink is going to get 100% of the shit particles off.

>he doesn't finger his asshole to scrape out every last particle of shit

what are you some kind of animal?

it's not more complicated if you piss standing, it's more complicated, period.
When pissing standing you will get small amount of splash in to this machine, and that will cause you to clean it more, just seem to be more complicated in the end.

Bide is meant to clean your asshole with water, you never use your fingers in the process,
unless you are some kind of a degenerate.

Why's the faucet facing down?

In the superior case you can point it anywhere you want, in it will shoot up. Or what was your point?

>not using japanese toilets

My point is you need to use your fingers.

I use a $25 detachable showerhead that oscillates.

Shit is cash.

My old apartment was the first on ground level, in a town, next to the pump station for the water main. The waterheater was 10' away, and set too high so the water was always near-boiling hot.

So I had like 200 psi water that if you let go of the showerhead it would fly out of your hands and around the room spraying everything.

Best ass washing I ever had.

>if you piss standing,
this guy doesn't piss standing.
He sits down to pee like a girl.

checked lol
install gentoo

you got the 777, that means you're right

>[the current year]
>having a penis
No.

Americans are a meme.

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>I keep thinking about buying a bidet but I worry what guests would think.
I just wash my ass by sitting on the edge of the tub and using good ol' water and soap, after wiping of course.

got one of these nip toilets, different model but its seriously a game changer. mine not only cleans your asshole, but blow dries it as well.