Hey Faggots

Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

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Yes

Can you repeat the question

You look like a carrot you Guido fucktard

this pasta is older than most people on this website

Havent seen this pasta for a while, the quality of that image is showing it's age kek

I'm so lonely.

so get a gf? it's easier now than ever

Yeah...

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I wonder what John looks like now that it’s been more or less a decade

I'd love to see the state of John's girlfriend.

John already looked better than his bitch in that pic so I assume it just got worse

>zooming this hard
Rumor says he's dead. F

that fake tan should have given her skin cancer

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.

She left him and he died in a car crash.
In fact OP's pasta originated AFTER he died.
>The man in the image was turned out to be a man named Paulie Carbone, who was killed in a car accident on July 10, 2007.
Shit was so crash.

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thanks for the nostalgia OP

damn that's kinda sad
dope porche though

>Thinking this is what Chads sound like
Its unironically over for you

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You are poor and rich people see you as homeless

>oh hey bro you mind if we sit... OOHHHHHhhhh FUCK DUDE! Is that a fucking ThinkPad T470?! No way, brah! That's fucking scandatious bombatious, my man. I just got 32 gigs in my little beast, absolutely no stalls working on any projects, brah. BRO! what GNU slash Linux distro do I see there? Hang on let me look, bro. Oh okay, bro, okay bro, Arch is pretty gnarly but, ya know, I'm more of a gentoo kind of guy. Anyway, dude, my squad and I need to fly so catch ya on the flip sigh, bro.

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>larping as Chad

Literally soulless

all this post-2014 cancer itt, disgusting

wow I know you were being ironic but where I live most devs are like this except they all use windows dualboots with ubuntu CLI

Long time no see J.
U haven't changed a bit.

Bummer. I was hoping to see some kinda maturity happen when the guido phase died out haha. F

I am sick of you FUCKING BITCHES calling my house every night at 3am asking for "BATTLETOADS" and sayin' the STUPID FRESH PRINCE THING. The thing is, I really do hate you fat losers who have to make up stupid lies in order to feel good about themselves, you’re all right about that. Why don’t you just try washing your face and changing your flannel shirt once in awhile and maybe you wont keep getting your IRL ass kicked by guys like me and bean called “faggot” by girls like this (my bitch).

So fuck you all for putting words in my mouth, I know I’m not perfect yet, but I’m on my way. Go back to watching star trek and playing Mario or some stupid shit, I’ll be at the beach getting HIT ON by chicks that you couldn’t even imagine let alone meet in real life.

Stop posting my picture.

- John