ITT: Crimes against nature

serious question
is it really that bad? my company uses it and 95% of problems are not from it

/thread

I exaggerated but its a clusterfuck, a product that old and that has undergone so many transformations is tied together by glue everywhere.
Typical "muh enterprise software" crap.

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The idea with Access is that it's simple enough for a layman to use. You don't need to retain the services of a pajeet to put together and maintain a shitty SQL app. For anything that needs more power than drag and drop can provide in Access, you can simply recruit someone at your church who knows their way around VBA.

Not to mention its prohibitively expensive, I think it cost my company 20 million dollars to implement SAP ERP.

$1 billion in revenue here, Excel and Sharepoint exclusively. My local sysadmin is a former COBOL guy if that gives you an idea.

What do you even think Access is you colossal fucking moron?

>CTO and everyone else had the beg the CEO to not use Access just because he had a nephew who worked at microshit in their IT department and he thought it would help give him a leg up.

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If given the choice between being a VOB replication admin or a plumber in a 3rd world country with my only tools being my hands, I would start sleeping in concert porta potties to get mentally and physically ready for my new life wrangling turds.

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What's wrong with Excel if you don't need relational database.

Ubuntu
apt install emacs25
>257mb will be downloaded and installed
>massive page of dependancies

Windows
Download VScode installer
>45mb
>no redists

GNU+Linux really is fucking bloated

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wrong thread but my point still stands

The thing with Excel is, it is very easy to make a mistake, like accidently extending the sheet size to massive sizes, filled with empty data. This causes the whole program to load 5 minutes at a time. And then they complain thinking its your network that sucks, when in reality they dont understand how to use excel

Also forgot to add. You always have that one asshole who forgets to close the master Excel file on a friday before they go on vacation and then ppl can't get into it cuz the file locks.(this is even an issue when they create shared workbooks for some reason. Again no one knows how to use excel)

Excel chokes easily

It's not good for long term use of a single file to just keep adding data forever

Guy raises an EXCELellent point i forgot to mention. Managers love using that one file from 10 years ago, cuz its their cheap database of sorts that they came up with like some genius and watched it grow. What they dont realise is that it grew into a monster the size of Wisconsin and are too proud to use a proper solution.

We had the same thing happen at work multiple times with Access actually. Its all a fking mess.

because windows already has those dependencies installed, except they're 10 GB instead of 257 mb

That argument doesn't really hold up. The .deb for Ubuntu is also around 45MB.

you compared emacs to vscode, to begin with

if SAP stopped working entirely tomorrow, there would be a global financial collapse. IIRC 75% of all transactions in the world touch SAP at some point

SQL is unironically easier than access, fuck access.

I second this. USAF is easy as fuck, been doing it for 15 years.

What dependencies already installed, vscode is a electron app.

Second biggest sin to this in my opinion is making an ERP system in access.

>accountant at work quits
>his coworkers ask us for help with access
>get assigned because mysql knowledge
>spend a week trying to correct some out of order task in a sequence
>i wind up reading how to do shit in access and jet sql syntax
>oh gee user! it's working!
help me i have beginner knowledge of jet sql and they'll kake me use it if they find out.

You ain't seen shit till you've spent time in the financial industry. $5 trillion dollar companies using DOS terminals for equity trading and Access for (very large) client databases and brokerage ledgers. All communication done through deprecated software like Lotus Notes (created 1989) that is now abandonware. Very common, not at that company but Goldman Sachs is still using Lotus for all of its central data. I understand "if it ain't broke" but it crosses the line at some point.

You cannot complain about dms till you've had to use a IBM tape mainframe with COBOL copybooks.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude

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I agree. I used to work at a supermarket whose data center uses that shite. It looks pretty old, but automatizes mostly of the works

>Lotus Notes
Im so happy we finally switched to outlook this summer. Converting inboxes, archives and inboxes is a bitch though.

I'm surprised you're even trying to convert to outlook, my company said fuck it and told everyone to backup anything important because it's all going to vanish and fuck you if you have 5k emails

It could be worse.

My old company used Google Sheets. For massive fucking sheets. It would chug the browser and take like 5 minutes to load any time you tried to open it.

>Google Sheets

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Yup

Everything right down to our work orders and online timesheets were google sheet files in a google drive folder

Oh, our ticketing system too, was you guessed it, was just a log on google sheets

Fuckin a. Where do you work? Or if you can't say, what industry?

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How?
What service can you possible providing using these two sub-par peices of shit?

What's wrong with Access? I'm taking a course that involves it and it seems really useful. I don't even know why people use Excel instead of Access.

>2019
>still no count distinct

stackoverflow.com/questions/11880199/how-do-i-count-unique-items-in-field-in-access-query

It's not just that though, it's also quite slow and is a "desktop database". What good is a database that isn't built to handle lots of connections?

i mean it's a decent frontend. for smaller shit i'd honestly say it's the best at that desu.

that being said in industry it needs to die

Lost WW2 was muchas worse

cringe

Have you never seen anything for Lowes corporate...

Agree. I’m a very mid tier excel user. Little bit of VBA, few sumproducts etc but I feel like a god amongst men compared to some excel knowledge in my place. What makes it worse is half the business is run on spreadsheets and no one knows how to sort stuff out if they go wrong. ‘Why is my database (spreadsheet) slow at calculating 500,000 rows?’ Because it should be in a database.

ripping of normalfags

hah based

you use google api with google sheets. it's not that bad unless you use it with a browser.

>DOS terminals for equity trading?
Yo, Bloomberg Terminal shoutout! The accounting firm I do IT for has one in their AIG department.

>5k emails
>Large inbox

Pleb. The average at my firm is 10-15k and these are considered small. Thankfully, we only allow 2.5GB OST for staff.

Because if you want to use Excel, you use Excel. And when you want to use a database you use a database. Duck Access.

Tell that to Jacobs engineering.

Obsolete.

You poor sap

True. And yet most of them brag about "how much they work".
Fucking wankers.
Working more hours is not necessarily a good sign. It may also be an indicator that you're just inefficient and need lots of time to get your shit done.

Spreadsheets in general, not just Excel, have very little reason to exist desu.
Almost everything they can do, an actual database can do too, and often better.

one of the reasons is that there is a far far greater supply of people who "know" excel than who know SQL. Also there's no Ctrl-Z in SQL, every change is permanent.

The big tragedy is that somehow Access won out over FoxPro.

S END
A NOTHER
P AYMENT

ever heard of non-relational databases??

Nvidia linux drivers. I've experienced everything: from a black screen to peripherals that stopped working. I dunno what distribution I need to install to make it work

Nothing ever made me want to deepthroat a shotgun more than using iTunes for data transfer.

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Yeah but how? What's the sales pitch or business model? What service do you actually provide that someone would be stupid enough to pay you for access and sharepoint... People that dumb usually don't have a lot of money, I think you're larping

it's slow and unreliable

i have to develop in this crap

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i'm not that business guy but i'd use something that a pajeet is familliar with if i built something for short term profit.

Why would you do that

>Why would you do that
I had to transfer data from an old iPhone. Never again. It wasn't mine though, I'm not a masochist.

Welfare queens

You can do transaction logs and implement versioning, but of course, that's a lot more complicated than straight forward basic RDBMS and may require using some database vendor specific extension (therefore getting locked into that product) if you don't want the performance penalty of doing all that in the application (or middleware) layer.

You keep implying that everyone goes to church. You shouldn't go to church.

Dude my OST is 50GB

We're still doing this. Google sheets feels abysmal to use, like holy shit. But with me on board my boss finally said fuck it, we're starting from 0 and build our own system

Facebook

was an L3 support for it for a while
its pure shit thats balanced by the huge paycheck every month

literally this
our teammailbox of 20 user is hitting ~1k mails per around a week (thats already after all the autoreply and similar shit it thrown away by filters) personal one is around ~50 mails per day and i consider myself lucky compared to some of my colleagues because i am still manage to get through most of that during the day

The shit I have seen, I thought I'd seen it all. And then this.

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Emacs was written in the 80s and since then has been constantly built on top of to work with the modern age. This inevitably leads to bloat, but also has a fuckton of backwards compatibility and features that have been tried and true. VSCode was written in modern times for modern programmers, so it doesn’t need the backwards compatibility that Emacs has, as it was written from scratch. Also consider that Emacs is virtually a mini-operating system with all its functionality, which is overkill for the most part.

Use VSCode first, and if you need a specific feature (I.e. .org mode or whatever the fuck) use Emacs. I typically use Emacs in SSH sessions.

Also your fucking stupid to generalize all of GNU/Linux based on two applications. Fuck, Emacs isn’t even Linux, so your comparison is bullshit.

No it is not, people are retarded and can't learn how to use it. It is basically easier than using Excel.

Source: I am SAP consultant, i help retards to learn SAP.

Don't be that smartguy and offer to do something that does better, in the end you will end up helping retards and have huge pile of shitty work for yourself.

Sometimes I feel like god when explaining how stuff works in this piece of shit.

Aren't hedge funds devs supposed to be out of this world?

Salary?
How does one becomes a sap "consultant"?

I have joined some "young talents" program in some SAP consultancy company while i was a fresh graduate. It is a common thing in this business, you can't learn the program by studying books and tutorials, you need to step into pile of shit irl. I make 5x of the minimum wage of my country and i have just 1,5 years of experience. (not indian btw)

kek I use excel exclusively for database but it's not that huge, just 35 MB. I was going to ask my company to send me to training for access. People from other department use that and they say it's easier.

what is your job?

>packages.debian.org/stretch/emacs25
>amd64
>package size 3,424.0 kB
The deb appears to be about 3.5MB. You also need : emacs25-common, which is about 13MB.
Not sure where you're getting 45MB from. I think the only big dependencies are the gtk ones, which are analogous to the large amount of gui tooling that already comes with Windows.

he did a lot of good. still a bad guy, but not as bad as pic related.

Access is good for the few uses it has. Allowing normalfags to easily use a database like a spreadsheet The reports are a nice way to allow them to get easily readable information. I wonder how it compares to the Libre Office offering.

>Download VScode installer
>installer
nice bait, but
>45mb
why the bloody buggering hell would something whose entire job is to pull an electron app from the internet take up a whole 45MB?

Fuckin hell, is that from a TV ad or something?

poverty-tier charts
extreme bloat
retarded syntax
retarded lookup
pants-on head speed