What's your excuse?

What's your excuse?

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I don't have 1.4k dollars

I have a girlfriend

it doesn't have a trackpoint

because if I wanted to confirm the fact that my life has failed I would rather spend the money on a good whore, some coke, and a helium exit kit

>good
>whore

>exit mask
Based and redpilled user.

1.3k is actually cheap
would If I had the money desu

this

Why not just buy an onahole?

I don't want one to be found in my house.

I have a gf(male).

Cute :3

I'm still waiting for a BBW model

manface

I have a gf(female)

The rarest redpill of them all is finding a girl that is literally a female you

I am the gf(male)... So I want a boy instead

Does she have blunt bangs?

like that would stop you.

I'm a canadian lolicon and I don't want to go to jail for importing a loli doll

I can't get off with a cow like that

Patrician. This includes having a fetish for genderbent/alternate reality literally female you.

It is not cute. It is not cute. It is not cute.
Go away. Go away. Go away.

*blocks your path*

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This

*triggered*

I managed to get a gf with $1000

I messaged her on Craigslist asking to cum inside her for $300, so we did, then i did it 3 more times for $200. The bit of time I spent smoking weed with her and fucking her eventually made her warm up to me.

>I came in her pussy before I even knew her name

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my wife's son already has one

these
might be related though

I need one that looks like a loli and is animated by an extremely smug AI.

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shop?

Australian customs would keep it to fuck and they'd send me constant reminded emails to remind me that they're cucking me.
I don't want that shit happening again. Not after last time.

>living in nannystate

I could get a 2080 for that much.

I don't want to clean it or lug it around.

fun stuff start to be ban on second life, what the point on getting a gpu?

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Only thing you need is TO BE FUCKING RAPED AND KILLED BY A BUNCH OF NIGGERS YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING DISGUSTING ATTENTION WHORING ANIME PEDO SCUM

Can't install Gentoo on it :/

If I was going to go full on pathetic I would at least step it up and go full on degenerate while I was at it;

Read: loli realdolls.

Not interested in sex

I'm not a pedophile. My sexual preference does not include any living human beings of any. I'd fuck a loli robot or a young (18-24) woman's freshly killed body. You can keep your niggers in their cages thank you very much.

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Oh shit, guys, I think my sex robot got pregnant, what do?

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Get a load of this faggot.

>NIGGERS
they would just steal his doll

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>fucks a doll
>pedo
What?

>roastie

I won't buy a product htat has no reviews

Tits too big, would not bang

Still waiting for MLP sex dolls.

I can't find one that looks like your mother

too much work to clean

I already have one, actually it's the second one I bought

Do you like it?

The following advancements need to happen before I'll buy one (roughly in order of difficulty)
> Self-lubricating
> Self-cleaning (interior)
> Feels considerably better/more realistic than a lubed up fleshlight
> Perfectly mimics human warmth
> Self-cleaning (exterior)
> Smells feminine
> Storage/stealth mode
> Requires battery and water only to operate (maybe other cheap non-suspicious product like olive oil)
> Realistic mechanized blowjob action, simulated saliva, deep throating, gagging and soft sucking/moaning sounds, complete with teary pleading eye contact
> Durable, can take a pounding
> On-top mode (can ride you cowgirl or reverse)
> Intelligently holds it's own weight
> Fully articulate and malleable luxury tongue
> Can perform massage, tantric and lingam
Start the price at 10 grand, and halve it for each feature above that's missing. Then I'll buy, not before

>Perfectly mimics human warmth
Doesn't have to be perfect

Close to perfect. Most heated shit can't find the spot between "can't feel it" and "fuck it burns" and then successfully maintain it regardless of activity. It would effectively need to be air-conditioned or something

Yes. The sex is pretty fantastic especially when you get the technique down (it's a learning curve), but what surprised me the most is how many other uses than sex it has. Cuddling for example, it is SO god damn relaxing, all your stress just melts away. Especially when going to sleep just having something to snuggle up to is great, always puts a smile on my face. Like a deluxe body pillow.
I also like to dress her up and pose her and do photoshoots. When I do I kind of feel like an adult playing with barbies, but I can't help how fun it is.

>Start the price at 10 grand,
kek more like 100k

Did you read the rest of the sentence or are you american?

I bet she doesn't kiss ya

The usual tag for this is "selfcest". There is this famous romantic doujin with good art about a mangaka falling for his alternative reality female counterpart, but I forget the authors/title.

>Pat and Paige, formerly of super best friends play
It's uncanny how similar they are, and they're also both short redheads. Probably one of the most perfect dysfunctional relationships to ever exist

>a loli robot
okay
>a young (18-24) woman's freshly killed body
why, though?

>What's your excuse?
I wouldn't stick my dick into anything made in china (or anything made in china into me)

i live with my parents

>Perfectly mimics human warmth
weak

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The absolute mental gymnastics you fucks have to go through to think that wanting to have sex with an object that looks/feels exactly like a 9 yo is not pedophilia, Kill yourselves

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just share with your dad bro

>doll design by asanagi or shindoL
>When?

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Aren't furfags and ponyfags ahead of everybody else in this regard?

>163cm
I'm no into dwarves.

>What's your excuse?
I'm not a fucking incel.
Fucking incels, ffs, I swear to God!

>I like women with man sized feet and hands
faggot

Why not just OD?

>tall girls automatically means man sized whatever
coping pedo/manlet.

>What's your excuse?
dignity

Joke's on you. If you're not a virgin you're a full-on normalfag.

>manlet
But I'm not the one who finds ogresses with 8 shoe size sexy.

Being a virgin is only a single rung down on the ladder of normality from being a normalnigger who fucks drunk girls at house parties. If you didn't have sex exactly once with your double transsexual middle school teacher and a parakeet and swear the whole thing off forever, you belong on .

I'm gay.

So what?

It'd be really awkward to explain this to my family.

So I prefer warm throbbing peen that I can get in plenty rather than this.

So you're saying you wouldn't buy a 10/10 male doll if you could afford it?

anime website

fuck off

Say it's for CPR training.

Why would I buy a doll when grindr exists?

why do you keep doing this to yourself?

> Storage/stealth mode
Cupboard? Locker? Attic? Basement? Casket? Suitcase?

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Cumming Penis Raw?

I'm gay

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>Casket?
You know, somewhere on Earth there is probably a 30-something goth who stores his your vampire sexdoll in a casket.

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Furohile?

Yes.

Not him, od fucking hurts dude..

hahaha poor special snowflake cant handle the bantz

Yeah the problem is that I fucking hate myself

Seems like a good way to control your primitive compulsions and desires so you can spend more time on science.

lmao good post